If she'd taken an actual beach ball and shoved it under her dress, Dorcas Meadows could not have been any more round in the belly than she was all on her own. Everything took about forty-seven times more effort than was strictly necessary, and she had to keep her hands pressed to the small of her back when she walked because it felt like her hips night naturally swing backwards and she'd jack-knife down if she didn't push them forward. She shifted and she broke a sweat, and two sips of water would result in a bathroom break because she had the capacity of nothin' in her bladder - Baby Girl Prewett had chosen her bladder as the perfect place to relax and Dorcas had spent more time in the loo in the past few months than she'd spent in the entire rest of her life, she reckoned.

"I wish you'd let me do that for you," Gideon said, bouncing foot to foot, hovering.

"I AM CAPABLE OF DOING THINGS!" Dorcas replied. She was so tired, her arm was exhausted, she thought she'd have to go and have a nap when it was over, but ferfuckssake, she could mix a damned glass of strawberry milk on her own.

"Yes but you ought not have to do too much, darling," GIdeon said, patiently.

Dorcas groaned and finally decided she'd stirred enough and pulled the spoon from the cup. She looked at the sink basin, several steps away, and she sucked the milk off the spoon, then took aim and tossed it into the sink. She would've magicked it over but her wand was on the other side of the table and to tell with reaching for that.

"I really, really wish you'd lie down, the mediwitch said --"

"I KNOW, GIDEON, I know --" she forced herself to quiet her voice. You're not mad at Gideon, you're mad at God and his idea of how babies get made in the human body, remember. If anyone ever needed proof God's a man this is bloody it right here, this whole process is the living proof of it right here. She stared at Gideon, "The mediwitch also said that getting up and moving about could help induce labor, and if I could physically get my body to do it, I'd dance the entire Nutcracker Suite to evict the little bitch."

"Aw babe, you're in the last paces now, don't worry, she's comin' soon."

"Not soon enough..." Dorcas took up her glass of strawberry milk, sipped it, and made a face. "Oh my God that is disgusting. What the hell was I thinking craving that?" She looked ready to cry.

Gideon frowned, "Oh no. Not again. You're kidding me."

"I wanted it so bad and my head is still screaming for strawberry milk but my tongue wants to revolt," Dorcas said, her eyes welling up. "Why am I like this?" She looked at Gideon. "I keep telling myself I'm not mad at you, but bloody hell Gideon it's you and your damned dick that's done this to me. I swear to Merlin if I ever get my body back I'm cutting it off you so you can't ever do this to me again."

"Seems extreme, my darling."

She groaned.

He glanced at his watch, then back up at her. "C'mon, let's get you settled, huh?"

Dorcas glared at him.

"Babe, I don't want to go to work thinking of you stuck standing there or something because you're too stubborn to let me help you get back to bed."

"I can do it, I'm not invalid."

Gideon sighed. He stepped forward quickly, in a motion that made Dorcas tingle with jealousy at the sheer freeness of his motion, and plucked her wand up from the table, holding it out to her. "Here. At least let me be able to comfort myself that you've got your wand, alright?" he demanded.

She took it and stuck it through her hair because there was really no where else to put it and she said, "Thank you," though not without a good deal of grudging.

"You're welcome," Gideon said, and he inched closer, leaned over the round belly, and kissed her face, then bent and kissed her belly, which was so round her shirts couldn't even keep it fully covered anymore. "If you need ANYTHING, send me a patronus and I'll be along in a jiff. I'm on Sirius duty today, so honestly my shift is sort of pointless, he's not going anywhere and even if he did --"

"Sirius duty?" she looked up.

Gideon had spoken without talking. He felt his heart crush his toes. Oh no, he'd done it now.

"What's Sirius duty? Sirius... Sirius Black?"

"Well, see, we have to monitor his - his location via a trace, and - it's basically a day of paperwork, nothing --"

"Why are you monitoring Sirius Black's location?"

Somehow or other, he'd managed to keep everything quiet about what had happened. With Dorcas on leave for bedrest that she wasn't obeying, he'd thought it easier not to worry her with the details of things going on - technically, legally, Sirius wasn't to have visitors, strictly speaking, though they all knew James and Lily Potter would be breaking that rule since their home had been cleared as a secondary allowance for Sirius by Underhill's special order - but for Dorcas to go... well that was a whole other sort of violation and being a licensed Ministry therapist and an auror...

Gideon shifted nervously. "Well, see, he's under a wee bit of a house arrest, but it's not a big deal and honestly he's got more clearance than --"

"House arrest? HOUSE ARREST? For what? What the bloody hell happened? ANY WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?"

Gideon blinked at her and said, "Because I didn't want to upset you."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

"It's alright, alright? We're taking care of it and Underhill's involved and it's all merry - he'll be off once the trial's been --"

"TRIAL?"

Gideon threw back his head, frustrated with himself.

"What trial?"

"Sirius threatened a woman with a werewolf and she reported it and he got arrested but Underhill's getting him off on account of there not being a werewolf and they already cleared the accusation again Remus Lupin and --"

"What?" Dorcas stared at Gideon and for the first time in her life, she felt herself having to actually fight to keep her poker face while protecting the secrets of a patient. Remus Lupin and werewolf accusation in the same sentence made her entire heart clench in worry for Sirius because she - as his therapist bound by the law and by magic - knew all about Remus Lupin and what such an accusation could lead to legally, physically, and emotionally.

"Well there was an accusation turned in by Lupin's university that he was missing days about the full moon and we reckon that's what set Black off and he threatened her with being bitten on Full Moon - at least that's what the report said - and they arrested him, went looking for Lupin to confiscate -- I mean, if he was a werewolf, of course by this -- to confiscate him from Black, but before they could locate the werewolf - which of course he isn't, I mean to say - but Underhill cleared it all up. He was the only one Black would talk to when he was in holding and --"

"HE WOULD HAVE TAKLED TO ME."

"Yes but babe you're on leave."

"I should've been called in."

"Yes but babe. You're. On. Leave."

"Gideon! YOU KNOW BETTER."

"Ferfuckssake, Dorcas, I just wanted you - and our baby - to be safe, not traipsing around half of London to get to the Ministry."

Dorcas scowled.

"He's alright, honestly! I - honestly."

She folded her arms over her chest.

"What's more is I'm really bleedin' late and I'm going to catch it from Moody if I don't go." He stared at her, imploring her with his eyes to please, please, please calm down." "Can't I please get you settled in?"

"I am fine right where I am," she said, an she reached down and took another sip of the milk. "UGH. I forgot how putrid that tastes." She spit it back into the cup this time and since she had her wand, she magicked it away from her to the sink basin. "See, look, I'm capable of things now. Got my wand. Go to work."

Gideon hopped foot to foot anxiously.

"Go to work. Or I swear to Merlin I'll --"

"Alright, alright!" Gideon sighed as she raised her wand. "Alright. I'll be home later. If you need me or need anything or crave anything or - or anything. Please. Patronus me."

"I will, just bloody go away."

"Alright!" Gideon kissed her again. "I'll miss you."

"You won't miss me, I'm being a bitch, you'll enjoy the peace."

"But I'll still miss you." He kissed her one more time and she kissed him back this time, and he smiled as he pulled away, "See? I miss that."

"Yeah? Good because kissing is the most you're getting out of me ever again so we don't end up back in THIS situation again." She thrust her hands at the near perfect circle that her stomach was.

Gideon chuckled nervously, then quickly said goodbye and headed for the floo, disappearing.

Dorcas stood there in the kitchen for several long moments - long enough to see that Gideon wasn't going to come running back in the room, and she grunted to herself, "Bloody arsehole, not telling me when I'm needed, like I'm not perfectly capable of going to see Sirius Black --"

She pushed her palms hard against her hips and each step was a grunt from deep in her chest, but she managed to duck-waddle across the kitchen, out the front door, and down the walkway. She didn't dare floo or disapparate, and the Knight Bus seemed too chaotic for her to try at doing by herself, so she turned and struggled her way down the sidewalk to the muggle bus stop at the corner. A man a few doors down was watering his garden and he looked up as she went by, his mouth wide open.

"Morning," she trilled.

"M-Morning," he called back, eyes on her extreme belly as she waddled, as though confused by the physics of how she was standing up right.

She'd be mad by the gawking but honestly she wasn't entirely sure how those physics worked herself at this point.

A woman on the muggle bus offered up her seat when Dorcas got on board, and a man helped her back up when she struggled to get back up when they reached her stop at the corner by the curry shop. She thanked him as she saw to it she made it to the sidewalk without a spill. When the bus had pulled away, she walked 'round the back by the alleyway and stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up the stunning number of steps with an expression of hopelessness.

It would take hours.

She groaned and started up them.

"DANCING QUEEN... DANCING QUEEN... FEEL THE BEAT FROM THE TAMBOURINE -- OOO OOHOOOHHHH..."

Sirius spun about the living room, a long pair of corded headphones on his head, singing along at the top of his voice to the music he was listening to underneath them, dusting about the apartment, carefully sweeping his wand along, the dust vacuuming up into the tip of it and leaving nothing but shining surfaces in his wake.

There came a knock on the door, but Sirius couldn't hear it over the noise in his headset. A second, third, and fourth knock followed until finally Remus's head popped up out of the briefcase on the coffee table. "Bleeding hell Padfoot, can't you hear the door?"

Siris was back-to, couldn't hear Remus, either, and Remus grumbled several choice words as he pulled himself up the rest of the ladder and out of the briefcase, wearing a pair of wader pants tucked into bright red wellies and smelling like fish. He was wet from the waist down and tromped over the living room carpet, the front of his hair hanging over his forehead, and wrenched open the door.

Dorcas Meadows in all her pregnant glory stood in the doorway, leaning against it, panting with the excursion and sweating like nobody's business. They both regarded one another's states with looks of amazement.

"I'm walking for two, what are you doing?" she said finally.

"Feeding kelpies."

Dorcas stared at the apartment, "In there?" She looked confused. "Merlin, how big is this flat?"

Suddenly Sirius appeared at the doorway, looking over Remus's shoulder, his headphones off his head but turned up so loud that ABBA was still clearly audible. He looked at Dorcas and announced, "God almighty, you're fit to bust, aren't you?"

"I wish!" she hooted. Then, "I know it's a charming day out of doors and all but think I could come in and have a sit-down before I pass out, yeah?"

"Oh! Of course, my word." Remus backed up and waved his hand for her to pass through.

Dorcas waddled across the flat and Sirius stood, watching her, his eyes following her slow gait as she reached one of the high backed chairs and struggled to lower herself into it.

"Bloody hell," he said, "All this for a child? Seems a lot of work just to have a life time of a lot of work, doesn't it?" But he went over and helped her sit and she sighed as her back hit the support of the chair. "You ought to get revenge on Giddy for doing this to you. Shall I hex him for you? A good old fashioned cockus deletus, perhaps?"

Dorcas laughed, clutching her belly, "No, no. Despite what I've told him several times in the last couple months, I'd rather he keep all his appendages."

Sirius smirked, "Yeah you do."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You're absolutely filthy." He turned to Dorcas, "May I get you a drink? Tea?"

"Remus makes excellent tea." Sirius cut in.

Remus shrugged but didn't deny it.

"Actually, have you any licorice wands? I'm positively craving!"

Remus murmured, "I'm willing to bet Peter does - hang on, I'll go ask him."

Sirius sat down. "So what brings you waddling by, Ducky?"

Dorcas looked up at him, "Well I'm here to check on you, aren't I?"