James stood tall, eyes staring straight ahead, barely focused. Beside him, Lily held his hand and squeezed tightly, her attention split between James and Sirius. Sirius and Remus stood a few steps away, Sirius's palms covering his face as he sobbed loudly and openly, quaking under Remus's arm.

The sunlight cut through the trees, golden in the afternoon, and a light breeze carried the scent of florals on the air, the leaves rustling quietly. The shadow of the old stone church stretched long, over a stone wall and into the road beyond, as though pointing to something down the way.

Dora Potter reached out suddenly and clasped her son's free hand as tightly as her fingers could close around his. She was shaking, and James took his hand from Lily's to hug his mum, shifting his jacket off to warm her shoulders as the evening air cooled significantly.

There was a grave, and a stone. There were flowers and other people around them. James barely saw any of them. He just stared at the casket that sat before him, his mind playing nasty tricks of trying to imagine Charlus there... laying right there...

He couldn't look away.

Certainly, pretty words were said.

Surely, memories were shared.

Perhaps there were pictures and happy thoughts of better times spent with Charlus. Maybe Dora professed her love and Minnie recounted an adventure. It could be that Moody commended him for his work in the Ministry, or somebody mentioned his success with the hair goop. Most likely there were tears shed and gods implored, and then the casket was lowered and the dirt was put over it and the funeral was over.

Numb, James followed the others away, back to Ms. Bagshot's yard, where a gathering was held with food and drink, a time to share condolences and apologies, and more memories and tears. James sat with Dora in chairs by the fireplace, nodding and thanking people for coming to the funeral.

Finally James couldn't take anymore. "Excuse me," he murmured, and he pushed out the door to the street and walker along, feeling disoriented in a place so familiar. He walked without knowing where he was really headed, until he reached the Dumbledore house. The camp, that's where. He took a few steps into the trees, then changed into a stag and, for just a few moments, he let himself fall into that mindset, allowed the creature to take over.

He ran through the trees, as fast and as hard as he could, dashing and bolting along, leaping where he needed to veer suddenly, and finally came to a halt in the clearing where their tents and fire would normally be. He stood there... panting, frustrated, alone.

He turned back to his human form and sat heavily on a stump they often sat upon by a roaring fire during their camping trips. He'd never felt so heavy and empty at the same time, as though everything inside him had been emptied out and replaced by bricks.

There was a long, low whine, and he turned to see Snuffles the dog laying in a patch of shadows. He got up and walked quietly over through the clearing to where the dog lay, and stroked his head behind his ears. The dog closed his eyes and together they sat in silence, feeling the weight of that which they'd both lost.

That evening, Lily was in the kitchen of the shabby flat in East London with Remus, making dinner. James and Sirius were each in their respective rooms. The quiet in the flat contrasted greatly against the volume of the revelers downstairs in the curry shop, where some sort of celebration was being had. There was loud music and shouting, clapping, and singing. It was a strange contrast that Lily's mind spun around - how one person's darkest day could be another's day of celebration. The muggles downstairs knew nothing of Charlus Poter and the terribleness of a death by dragon pox, they did not know that upstairs two young men were curled in their beds in their separate rooms thinking their separate thoughts, their worlds having screeched to a halt so quickly.

"Salt," Remus's voice was quiet.

Lily held out the salt to him and he shook it over the pot he was standing in front of, stirring in the seasoning. Lily turned to the refrigerator and started pulling out additional ingredients that Remus would need. When she thumped the door closed, her eyes met Sirius's. He stood in the doorway in his dog form, tail limp, staring at Lily and Remus with sad grey eyes.

"Aw Snuffles," Lily said gently and she took a step closer and ran her hands over Sirius's soft, velvety head. He nudged his damp nose into Lily's palm and nuzzled as he walked closer, bumping his whole body into her legs. "Look at you, being affectionate," she said, smirking.

The dog closed his eyes.

Remus came over and took the vegetables and meat Lily had drawn from the fridge and patted the dog's head, too. "Ought I be jealous right now?" he asked, watching Lily scratch the dog's bum. Lily laughed and the dog cocked his head at Remus, a slight flicker of amusement in his eyes - though far bleaker than they normally would after such an accusation. Remus turned and put the meat and veggies on the counter, looking into the pot where his spices were cooking down, the aroma of onion, garlic, and spices beginning to fill the kitchen and compete with the curry from downstairs.

Lily knelt down, looking at Sirius's face, and rubbed his ears. "I do believe," she said, glancing at Remus, "That this dog needs a nice long walk."

Remus nodded, "It does seem that way." He looked around the kitchen, "I can finish up here."

"Alright," Lily said.

Snuffles stared at her.

"C'mon, Snuffles," Lily said, "Let's take a walk." She smiled and started to the front door, the manky, shaggy dog following after, and they descended the stairs into the fresh air. They walked on down the road, Sirius staying in step with Lily, his claws ticking against the pavement. Big red buses and cars wooshed by, but Sirius barely saw them, he just stared at the sidewalk, following Lily complacently. They walked west to the Thames and down the wide causeway there, street performers played their instruments and people gathered about as a man performed a bit with a step ladder and some string. They passed the Globe and went onward south, following the river.

"You know," Lily said when they'd been walking for some time, "You could be a human and talk to me about how you're feeling."

Snuffles looked up at her and his ears went flat.

"It would help."

Snuffles let out a low whine and Lily took that as agreement - perhaps a bit reluctant, but agreement nonetheless. She led him into a park not too far from the shabby flat and he slipped behind a wood snack shack to change, emerging a few moments later in his human form. He was a bit bedraggled, wearing a dirty white t-shirt and loose plaid overshirt half buttoned, crookedly, over a pair of old raggedy jeans with tears at the knees so huge that his entire kneecap was visible through the gaps. He wore no shoes, just unmatching striped socks.

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"I can tell you're judging me," Sirius murmured.

Lily shook her head, "Not at all. But your feet might get a bit wet, the grass is damp."

Sirius shrugged.

They walked a few feet away to a bench by a little duckpond. They were alone, aside from some children across the water that were throwing bits of bread to the ducks. Lily hugged her sweater closer 'round her shoulders as she watched the kids tossing the bread bits and the ducks clustering about their feet, honking and flapping their wings as they fought for the bread.

Sirius stayed very quiet, leaning forward, staring at his hands clasped before him.

They were like that, sitting together in absolute silence, until long after the children had left the park and the ducks had swam away. Frogs and crickets had replaced the water fowl and the sky was starting to darken a bit from blue to lavender and orange.

"Your Dad died," Sirius said quietly. "In Fifth Year."

"Yes," Lily nodded.

Sirius said, "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you more then."

"You would've been if I hadn't been such a priss."

Sirius shrugged, then ceeded, "Yeah, I s'pose."

"You tried. You all tried. All four of you did. Then I was such a brat about James and Severus and... Well. I took the wrong side in that, didn't I?"

"I could've told you that."

"You did tell me that," Lily laughed quietly. She looked at her feet. "Like I told James... The process of moving on isn't easy, it's a lot of baby steps you have to take before you heal. But eventually, you will. One day, the memories will bring you smiles instead of pain and you'll realize you've gotten better."

Sirius said, "I know. My father died, too, remember? I've done all this once already." He stared at the water as a light breeze blew, creating ripples that danced across the surface as it reflected the darkening sky.

"I forgot," Lily admitted.

"I don't blame you for forgetting," Sirius shrugged, "I had a rubbish relationship with him. It isn't as though any of you had any reason to mourn the loss of him. If anything, only reasons to celebrate his departure from this world. Real bastard, he was. Charlus was nothing like my father."

Lily thought for a moment. "Charlus might not've been your father, but he was your Dad."

Sirius nodded, his nostrils flaring with emotion, lips pursed together tightly.

"I know he meant a great deal to you."

"A great deal," Sirius echoed.

Lily patted Sirius's knee, then hugged him about his shoulders.

"I ran away from home," Sirius said, "And I showed up at the Potters' house in the near middle of the night. They never batted an eye, never thought twice about it. They simply brought me inside, made me a cup of tea, and comforted me. It was Christmas, and I never expected anything from them, but somehow they'd gotten me presents and they really cared about me. Dad most of all. Mum was a bit afraid at first - she pointed out I was a Black, and at the time I thought it was prejudiced against the House of Black, but later when I learned she was truly Mia Black and that the reason she feared taking me in was because of Orion... my father... and their history... Well. That made sense. Dad was ready to take my father on all over again for my sake, though. He never hesitated to treat me like his son. And he was good to Snuffles, too. The summer I spent at the Potters in dog form, he fed me steak under the table every night when Mum wasn't looking, and he brought me for walks. Sort of like this one, actually." Sirius smiled.

"Dogs love walks," Lily nodded, "And steaks."

"Yeah they do," Sirius grinned. "Charlus was just always... good, you know? He didn't have a bad bone in his body, I don't reckon."

"I doubt he did," Lily agreed. "Like father like son." She smiled, and Sirius managed a little one, too. Lily lay her head on Sirius's shoulder, still hugging him, picking at the fringe that hung over his knee from the torn edge of his jeans. "So what's it like being Mrs. Remus Lupin?" Lily asked.

Sirius chuckled, a grin spreading over his mouth slowly. "Rather delectable, really."

"Yeah?" Lily asked, smiling at the tone that warmed Sirius's voice with this statement. "Gosh, I can't wait for my wedding," she said, dreamy eyed. "I can't wait to be Mrs. James Potter."

Sirius said, "We're lucky ladies, Evans."

"Very," she replied.

Sirius shook his head, "Those damn Potters and their affinity for taking in the stragglers, huh?"

"I'm thankful for it," Lily said.

"Me, too," Sirius replied. "Gods bless'em."

Lily nodded heartily.

He took a deep breath, which rumbled loudly in Lily's ear as he inhaled and exhaled, his chest expanding greatly. "I'm going to miss him." Sirius's voice squeaked and he broke, suddenly sitting forward and distrupting Lily's embrace. "And the worst part is that the war's still going, there's still so much rubbish happening, you know? Who knows what'll happen next. I'm not ready for all this... I want to just... run away and hide."

"Neither am I," Lily replied, rubbing his back. "We just have to stay faithful to what we know is truth and fight for it, and we will deal with the consequences as they come."

Sirius nodded.

"We can't give in just because we're afraid, or hide because we don't want to see what comes next."

He continued nodding, "I know. But sometimes I very much wish that we could."

"Me too, Sirius," Lily said. "But then I remember what a great satisfaction it will be to see Voldemort laying dead on the ground, defeated, and his whole regime crumpled and spread like ashes. To watch his beliefs die in his eyes as he's finished off."

Sirius looked at her; he'd never heard Lily Evans speak such darkly menacing words before. Her face was filled with determination.