James arrived at Underhill's office with Frank Longbottom at his heels.

"James, you can't do this, you can't - you've got no idea how hard it is to get in this program, if you quit now they won't ever let you back on when you cool off and changed your mind for it, alright? Besides that, I can't afford to bite it because I told you about the blank case, alright? I've got to make it through this - and Ali, she needs me to have a good job and all, you know? Think about Lily! What would she think?"

"She is proud of me for admitting the program isn't what I was hoping," he said, coming to a stop just outside of Underhill's office, "And she thinks I can make my own decisions."

"So she knows you're quitting?"

James nodded. "Yeah, she does. And she supports me in it."

Frank looked miserable.

"Look, Frank, I'm sorry I snapped at you back there. I'm mad at Underhill, not you. I was going to tell you about what I knew for the Marjorie Grant case so you didn't have to retrace my steps at Fallengunder and all that, I reckon my ties to Remus got me a lot further with Frek and Elva than you would've done there. But it was all for nothing anyway. I was just surprised is all. I shouldn't have been - bloody full of myself to think I'd get such a serious case as my first... without doing hardly any work for it, too." He shook his head.

"I mean, I half expected them to give you a real one the day you walked in the door, along with a promotion to head of the department and a basket of cauldron cakes, honestly."

James laughed, "What? Why?"

Frank replied, serious, "Because you're better than half the licensed aurors in this department on their best days - combined."

James felt his throat tighten, "I dunno."

"Well I do," Frank said, "And so do Underhill and Moody. The Prewetts have said it too, you know. It's common knowledge here that you don't take shit, James. You've done more than this program could ever teach you, the training is a formality you don't need." He shrugged. "You could probably train them yourself."

James stared down at his trainers.

"And that's why you shouldn't quit," Frank said. "You're a bloody hero already. Let'em show you how to fill out the paperwork proper and pay you for it."

James took a deep breath. He looked Frank in the face and dropped a palm onto the older boy's shoulder. "Thanks, Longbottom, I appreciate that a great deal."

"Of course, Potter. You won't regret sticking to the program. You'll be darting about saving the day all over the place again in no time."

James smiled sadly. "I'm not changing my mind, Frank, I'm just thankful for your kind words." He turned before Frank could argue him again and nearly knocked into Alastor Moody.

Moody looked furious, until he saw James and the fury turned to relief. "There you are," he said, and though he kept his voice gruff, his face was clearly pleased. James noticed he had a few new scars since he had seen Moody close up last and he wondered where he had collected them from. "Potter - good to see you. Listen, Mr. Underhill has acted rashly, and I've just come from telling him so. Why don't you come up to my office and we'll discuss a transfer, I think Underhill's a poor fit. We will get you reinstated and then you can come work in my office - with Bones out, we'll be needing some extra hands on things upstairs, and -"

Frank looked hopefully at James, but James said, "I'm sorry, sir. I'm only here to collect my things and leave behind a bit of my mind." He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a folded up bit of parchment. "My formal resignation letter, sir."

Moody took it, looking flabbergasted, unfolded it, and looked it over. He shook his head, "No, no. Mr. Potter, I don't accept this, not from you. You need to come upstairs and give it a go under another instructor. As I said, Underhill's not a good fit for you, and --"

"No, thank you, sir. My mind's made up."

Frustration now crossed Moody's features, and he said briskly, "James, Dumbledore has expressed a good deal of interest in your retention at the Ministry, don't you understand, it's very important -" he lowered his voice, "--as Order members, staying at the Ministry is vitally important for keeping up our constant vigilance! We need eyes and ears saturating the place! It is a key part in our day to day resistance against --"

There was a sudden, very loud wailing alarm that screamed out from above them, the lights turning red and flashing wildly.

"OH NOT BLEEDING NOW!!!" Moody shouted, "I FORGOT I ORDERED A DRILL! GOT DISTRACTED!! POTTER YOU COME UP TO MY OFFICE AND WE WILL DISCUSS EVERYTHING COMFORTABLY!!" He looked at Frank who was still standing there and took his cane, whacking at Frank's legs softly to prod him on, "DO YOU NOT HEAR THE BLEEDING ALARM BOY???"

"YOU SAID IT WAS A DRILL?"

"IT IS BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU DON'T NEED TO RESPOND!! MOVE LONGBOTTOM!!"

Frank sighed and turned, walking away, but glanced back at James pleadingly before he turned the corner.

Moody turned back to James, thrust the unwanted resignation back into his hands, and waved for James to follow him.

"I'M SORRY SIR," James shouted, "I HAVE TO TALK TO UNDERHILL."

Moody glowered, then said, "MY OFFICE AFTERWARDS, POTTER." He stumped off, grumbling, and James watched him go. He imagined the fit Moody would throw when James never turned up to the office and knew it would be a terrific one.

James ducked into Underhill's office.

Inside, the alarms weren't going off. It was silent except for the hooting of a small interdepartmental owls, perched on a small shelf by Underhill's desk, waiting as Underhill bent over his parchments.

James cleared his throat.

Underhill looked up. He stared at James for several long seconds, then, "What did the old bastard do? Disapparate to your doorstep and back?"

"Excuse me?"

"Moody - he said he would send for you."

"Oh, no he didn't send for me. I came for my things, and to give you this." James dropped the resignation letter onto the desk in front of Underhill, then turned to his desk.

He magicked a box and started putting his things into it. A photo of Lily Evans, a couple quills he'd brought in, a bag of Bertie Botts he had sifted through to collect only the bacon flavored ones, a couple bottles of pumpkin juice, the tired old snitch from Hogwarts he played at catching when he was bored, and a biting eraser Sirius had given him as a joke, which nipped his finger as he picked it up.

James looked up when he had emptied his drawers, and he found Underhill was staring at him.

"Moody won't be happy," Underhill said. "He rather adamantly told me to reinstate you."

"I ran into him in the hall," James admitted. "He refused to take that. Then the alarm went off for a drill. Speaking of, why's it not going off in here?"

"I told disabled my system from receiving interior originating signals so the drills don't go off."

"Smart."

"He does them too often." Underhill got up and came around his desk, leaning against it with his arms crossed on James's side of it. "Potter, I don't really want to accept your resignation, either. Can we talk about this?"

James drew a deep breath. "I don't want to work for the Ministry... and I really don't want to work for you at the Ministry."

Underhill nodded. "Okay. But why? Is it because you're upset you were suspended?"

James shook his head.

"Then why?"

"Sir - I don't think the way the Chainwright Theater event was handled was correct. I don't think I ought to have been suspended for what I did. I didn't follow orders but your orders were wrong and misinformed."

"You said it was't because of your suspension."

"It isn't. It's because I don't for a moment doubt the way you wanted things handled there is how they would be handled at any other battle. I don't intend to be the sort of respondent that you want me to be. It's not who I am, and I've compromised who I am enough."

Underhill said, "But James, it's important to learn --"

"I have learned!" James interrupted. "I've learned a good deal about the world in the last few months, and about the Ministry. You gave me a blank case to work to teach me things and I did learn quite a lot. I learned that you can trust someone as your superior and they can let you down - and anyone willing to compromise morals for protocol is not someone worth looking up to. You aren't a bad man, you're just not the hero I thought you were when I started working under you, and I learned a great deal about the Ministry itself, and I think in the long run that in many ways the Ministry is just as bad off as V- as You Know Who."

Underhill's eyes were concerned. "Watch what you're saying, James. It sounds an awful lot like defaulting."

James laughed, "Never. But the Ministry isn't all right either." He looked Underhill in the eyes. "You know about the testing Mungo's does for research! You know how they treat werewolves! The werewolves can't be the only non-wizards they treat like rubbish, either - I'm sure there are loads of other races, too... It's sick. It's --" James shook his head.

Underhill said, "But you don't walk out because you don't agree. Politics don't work like that. You don't like it? Then work to change it. You're more likely to change it from the inside out than standing on a street corner holding up a sign in protest."

James said, "I also learned..." he thought of the night before, of how he'd felt kneeling on the sidewalk, of the burning cigarette and the taste of nicotine in his mouth. "I also learned that I've given so much of myself that I can't get back, and I'm tired... Mr. Underhill, I'm the hero in a lot of other people's stories but never my own. I've been through enough, and purposely seeking out more..." he shook his head. "I just want to live a life with my soon to be wife and our soon to come children, and I can't do that if I'm trotting around Britain looking for scapes to get into."

"That's awfully selfish, isn't it? In the middle of the war?" Underhill said the words, but he didn't seem to be judging. He looked fascinated instead.

"I think I've earned it," James replied.

Underhill nodded. He stood up, went back around his desk, took the resignation letter, signed it, duplicated it, sealed one and handed it to the little owl, who flew off through the tiny tube in the wall. He took up the second one, sealed it and went to James, holding it out.

"If you change your mind, my door is open."

James took the parchment and dropped it into the box. "Thank you." He started to the door.

"Are you leaving the Order as well?" Underhill asked as James stepped into the hall.

James shook his head, "No."

Underhill said, "You may want to consider the moral ambiguity of Albus Dumbledore, since you're into that sort of mind now... Have a good life, Potter." The words were spoken with sincerity, not anger or sarcasm.

The door slammed shut.