If I Had My Choice

Sirius let himself in the flat over the curry shop and walked through the house to the living room, where he threw himself down upon the couch, limbs splayed about so he was a giant X, stretching with his eyes closed. He let out a wide yawn and went limp with the onset of exhaustion.

He might've been asleep 5 minutes or 5 hours - either way, he woke up a bit on the startled side, looking about the room, and found the floo was green and then in a tumble of sparks and ash, Remus came out of the fire.

Sirius sat up. "Moony! You're home! ...and you're filthy, bloody hell what were you doing all day?"

"Playing outside by a duck pond," Remus answered, collapsing on the couch beside Sirius, letting out a sigh of relief as his body was cupped by the soft materials of the cushion. His muscles were sore to their very core and he closed his eyes, appreciating being home. When he opened them a moment later, Sirius was kneeling on the couch beside him, eyes wide with expectation and eagerness. "Hullo," Remus said in a newly relaxed tone.

"Hullo," Sirius said.

Remus could tell Sirius wanted entertainment of some kind, it was like coming home after a long day of work to an over excited and under exercised dog that comes begging, leash in mouth. All that was missing was the leash.

"What did you get up to today?" Remus asked, trying to put off dealing with Sirius's excess energy.

"Dunno, mucked about mostly," Sirius shrugged.

"Did you look into any of those adverts James left you?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, unenthusiastically. "Put in a couple applications. But listen, Moony, I saw Odair today at Fortescue's and he's --"

There was a spark of green light and the floo lit.

"PRONGSY!"

James stepped through the floo and ran his hand through his hair and mussing up the waves of it, as though traveling by floo would somehow neaten it. "Padfoot!" James replied, matching Sirius's tone without the volume.

Remus waved with a limp wrist.

"Listen, Prongs, I was about to tell Remus - I saw Odair today at Fortescue's, and -"

"Yeah? How is he?" James asked, "I heard he's engaged."

"Is he?" Remus asked.

Sirius looked annoyed. "You already knew?"

"Well Evans told me," James said, shrugging. "Why?"

"Evans knows?" Sirius sighed and flopped onto the couch, draping himself over the arm in a melted sort of form, his legs and arms sprawled. "Well bloody hell, I thought I had news."

"Sorry," James said. "Did you get a job?"

"I applied a couple places."

"Places besides Quality Quidditch Supplies?" James pressed, and he tossed his bookbag onto the coffee table and stretched his shoulders and neck as he stood there.

Sirius nodded absently, more interested in the flex and curve of James's muscles than the topic at hand. "Loads," he answered.

"Uh huh..." James wandered into the kitchen. "So long as you didn't just go to the quidditch shop and Fortescue's."

"I didn't!" Sirius called after him. He looked at Remus. "He thinks he's my mum," Sirius laughed.

Remus replied, "I mean, it's important to at least try. You do have a reputation of giving up on things if you think it's too hard."

Sirius made a face and sat up so he was sitting in a remotely normal position on the couch. "Right. Well, I did go more places."

"Good," Remus said, "I'm glad to hear it."

"We ought to all go out to the woods tonight!" Sirius suddenly announced, "Right? When was the last time we had a camping trip I ask you?"

"I have training tomorrow," James replied, coming back from the kitchen with a couple bottles of butterbeer. He handed one off each to Sirius and Remus, then popped the cap off his own and leaned against the fireplace mantel.

"Okay but what if we only went for a few hours, then? We can do a bon fire, maybe owl Marlene and Frank and the gang..."

"I can't, Pads - I have dinner with my parents and Mrs. Evans tonight," James said, taking a sip of his butterbeer.

"Are you lot finally going to tell them?" Remus asked.

"Evans says we're going to feel things out."

Sirius rolled his eyes, "Just TELL THEM. Its happy news!"

"Mum's going to go to tears," James said, "And Merlin knows THAT is exhausting.... She's going to do that bloody thing where she hugs my head and wails things like my ickle little boy and all grown up what am I going to do with myself."

"At least you have a mum that gives a damn about your engagement," Sirius said, frustrated by James not appreciating Dora Potter as he should be doing.

"So do you," James said, "The same one as I do. And she hugged your head and called you her ickle boy, didn't she?"

Sirius smirked.

Remus said, "She even did it to ME."

"Yeah, once mum latches onto something she doesn't let go easy," James said. "You lot are both stuck with her." He finished off his butterbeer, and brought it out to the kitchen, chucking it in the bin. "Well you lot, wish me luck mates."

"Luck," Sirius and Remus said at exactly the same time. Sirius grinned.

James shook his head and drew his wand, with a flick and a spin he'd changed out of his Auror's uniform and into a nice suit. He walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall, ducked to look in, and ran his fingers through his hair a couple times. "Accio tie!" he called out. A tie came flapping down the hall and he caught it without even looking away from the mirror, and quickly tied the knot at his neck. Arms out, he turned 'round to face the other two. "How's this then?"

Sirius wolf whistled approvingly.

James laughed.

When he had left through the floo, Sirius turned back to Remus, who has his head back against the couch, dozing already. Sirius edged closer to him, laying his head on Remus's shoulder. "You know what this means Moony? We have the flat to ourselves for a whole evening." His eyes strained to look up into Remus's face.

"Yeah, we do," Remus replied, clearly missing the suggestiveness of Sirius's words.

"Its been awhile since we..."

Remus nodded and laced his arm 'round Sirius's shoulder. He snuggled his face against the top of Sirius's head and sighed happily. Sirius grinned and started fiddling with the buttons of Remus's shirt. He leaded in to kiss his jawline back to the gap below his ear and --

Remus snored.

Sirius looked up.

Remus's head wasn't tilted in ecstasy, but rather he'd fallen asleep.

Frustration filled Sirius up like a black fog and he got up from the couch so quickly he tripped over his own boots on the floor and fell onto the carpet with a thump. The sound started Remus awake and he looked around, seeing Sirius on the floor and he blinked in a disoriented way for several moments, trying to remind himself what was on.

"Siri, why are you laying on the floor?"

"Because I bloody fell down!" Sirius replied, rolling over and getting up with a dramatic flourish.

Remus hesitated. "Just now?"

"Of course just now! Not that you know it seeing as you fell asleep in the middle of our love making!"

Remus looked down at the two buttons Sirius had managed to undo before the snore and back up at Sirius. "Fully clothed loved making?"

Sirius threw his hands in the air, "Well obviously we'd only just started!"

Remus sighed and said, "I'm sorry, I'm just exhausted! The full moon's coming soon and you know I had a very full day today -"

"Yes, baby sitting. I know. I know all about you and all the fun you had playing with Nymphadora."

"She doesn't like being called that..."

"Well its her name so I'm calling her it."

Remus frowned. "What is with your attitude right now? By Merlin, you'd think I'd committed a crime falling asleep on the bleeding couch."

"When your fiancé was trying to make love with you!" Sirius wailed.

"I didn't realize you were, seeing as I was asleep when you were doing it!"

Sirius crossed his arms and turned his back, storming into the kitchen.

Remus counted to ten under his breath, then got up and walked into the kitchen, muscles sore throughout his legs. Sirius was at the table, staring down at the adverts in the paper again.

"I'm sorry," Remus said.

Sirius didn't look up.

"I really am. I know you've felt left out quite a bit lately, with me and James gone all day and how we've been tired when we get back. I know being at home has been hard on you."

Sirius's eyes turned to focus on Remus, but he didn't say anything.

"It isn't like how it was at school, it's different, and I know that it is frustrating right now. Soon you'll have a job though if you keep looking and you'll be busy, too, and then we can spend our evenings together."

"If you don't sleep through them."

"Yeah." Remus sat down across from Sirius and their eyes met and they simply stared at one another - a hundred thousand things passing between them. Then, "And there's the wedding to think of, of course..."

"Yes and our honeymoon."

Remus nodded slowly. If we can afford it, that is, he thought, silently praying that his strength would hold out long enough to do just a few more full days baby sitting before the moon broke him. If he was going to get Sirius all the things he wanted for the wedding, he had to. The thought of it made him feel even more exhausted.

Sirius asked, "You don't seem excited about our wedding anymore - why?"

"I'm excited, I'm just worried about the money, Sirius. It's very expensive and it seems every time we talk about it, the plans get even more extravagant than before, and I'm worried about us making the ends meet. Living isn't free anymore like it was at Hogwarts. We've got bills to pay and, sure, James is very good and he says he doesn't need any help out with it but --"

"Well the Potters are LOADED, Rey, and we're their kids so --"

"Actually you and I are not."

Sirius scoffed, "As good as!"

"I don't want to take advantage of the Potters!"

"You gave them your house!"

"Because theirs exploded and Charlus has been out of work for YEARS, and he's ill, Sirius. He's ill and he's dying and -"

"No," Sirius interrupted, "Dad is not dying. He's not. He's beating Dragon Pox." His voice was fierce.

Remus sighed. "It's just the only thing I had to do to help. That's all." He paused. "Besides, James won't be living here with us forever."

Sirius scowled.

"When he and Lily get married -"

Sirius got up. "Can't we talk about happier things? Like OUR wedding, forgetting about costs? Can't we just celebrate right now? Isn't it bad enough the world is rubbish, do we have to talk about it constantly, too?"

Remus hesitated.

"Doesn't the wedding make you happy?"

"Getting married to you makes me happy," Remus replied carefully. "But the wedding itself... it's... well, Sirius, I think it's... it's a bit... much."

"A bit much?" Sirius repeated, teetering on the edge of another dramatic outburst.

Remus backtracked, "I mean, there's so much going on in it that I feel as though maybe the main point of the whole thing is being sort of... overshadowed."

"It's a celebration of our love, Moony."

"Yes but our love doesn't need exotic flowers imported from Costa Rica, or colour changing tents, industrial sized supplies of Barry Bower's Brilliant Bubble Blowers, tumbling house elves, performances by several popular rock bands, or Renee's Rainbows on Request..."

Sirius looked appalled.

"And certainly not a herd of unicorns."

"So, do you hate everything I've planned, or just the good stuff?" Sirius demanded. Remus opened his mouth to answer, but Sirius plowed on. "I suppose you'd have us just signing papers at the Ministry without any fuss at all then?"

"I mean... if I had my choice -"

"Fine! Fine, that's what we'll do then! I'll send owls to everyone cancelling everything special! It'll be just another errand we run on an ordinary day! Just as BORING as every other day! Oi, maybe we can even save some time and just nick over to the Ministry during your lunch break! Or fuck bring the ickle brat along and she can be the witness! I do hope she knows how to spell Nymphadora!" Sirius got up, and flounced out of the room and a moment later the bedroom door slammed.

Remus closed his eyes, counted to ten, then got up and made himself a big glass of extra strong chocolate milk.

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