A/N

Short, Sad, Song fic, Sorta unsure what dimension this is (a branch of the Soul Stone dimension, I know that much). I came up with this concept while driving and I low key burst into tears. I know, don't drive when emotional. But it was a sudden hit and I was like, two minutes from home. Ah, just an angst riddled set of chapters lately, huh? Sorry... XD

***

Thanos had long since been defeated, but Loki was as depressed as ever. All he had was a four year old daughter without her mother. After Thanos snapped back in 2018, he and Olivia tried to continue with their lives. They had their own little home in New Asgard, and soon after Olivia had given birth to their daughter, Lyanna. They were considering a second child when the idea of a Time Heist was proposed.

It was their job to get the Soul Stone.

Both Loki and Olivia had entered Vormir, but only Loki returned.

He was sure she was happy somewhere, but day after day Loki was in a void. He became reserved, extremely depressed, and mentally checked out. And it hurt to look at Lyanna. She looked a lot like Loki, but her eyes... She had her mother's eyes. He couldn't bear to look at them for too long.

So, he traveled. He was never in the house for more than a few weeks at a time. It started traveling around the continent, then the world, then to other realms. Lyanna would stay with either Thor or Valkyrie during those times.

Unfortunately, this led to a strained relationship with the two as the years went by. When Lyanna was 7 she wondered why her father was always away and didn't look at her all that much. She missed her mother, sure, but her memory of Olivia was faint. By the time Lyanna turned 10 she grew certain that her father hated her to some extent. It wasn't her fault her mother was dead or that she was a constant reminder of it, and she knew that. But it didn't make it hurt any less.

Loki had long ago vowed to be the father he never had, but after Olivia was gone, he wasn't sure if he could feasably do that. There were times he wish he could go away and never come back. There were other times his thoughts went to a darker place than he would like to admit. Typically when he came home for a stretch, Loki would aggressively weed through the garden for any signs of the blue roses. Olivia had planted too many seeds and they were always popping back up.

His dreams were the worst part. Night after night he dreamt of Olivia. Her with their daughter, her dancing in the gardens of Asgard, her in Loki's memories of their adventures before they were cut short. Sometimes when he was home, he could almost hear her. Walking through the halls, singing softly as she did so.

Approximately six and a half years after her death, Loki was traveling again. He left two weeks before and found himself in a small cottage in Vanaheim. It was a frequent destination of his because it was secluded and far away from New Asgard. His dreams were getting bad again and he was fighting with himself. He could look in reflections in rivers and suddenly her face would be there. The winds seemed to sound like her whispering Loki's name. Why was he having such a hard time lately? He knew he couldn't run away forever, but maybe he could for just a little longer...

Loki tossed and turned in his sleep, curled in a fetal position. Tears leaked out of his tightly shut eyes as he tightly gripped at the pillow so hard that the pillowcase almost ripped. He was sick of this. Sick of the dreams, sick of the running, sick of... Everything.

In this particular dream, he stood in a field made up of tall grass and those damned blue roses. Every time he tried to stomp one down or pull it out, five more took its place. After what seemed like an eternity trying to destroy the flowers, he finally sank to his knees and sobbed.

The wind picked up for a split second before fading away. Still, Loki didn't move to get up.

"Loki." A voice whispered. Loki knew the voice, but it only made him feel worse. Though, he did get off of the ground and sat with his knees to his chest.

"My dove, is that you?" He asked.

"How could I know I would have to leave you? How could I know I would hurt you so? You were the one I was born to love. Oh, how could I ever know? How could I ever know?" Olivia's soft voice said. She was singing, something Loki loved so much about her. She used to be so self conscious of it, but hearing her so clearly... He could hear the crunch of the grass as she walked up behind him, though he didn't turn to face her yet. She later a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"How can I say to go on without me? How, when I know you still need me so? How can I say not to dream about me? How could I ever know? How could I ever know?" She continued. Her other hand went to Loki's other shoulder so she was hugging him from behind.

"Forgive me, can you forgive me and hold me in your heart? And find some new way to love me now that we're apart?" Loki's hand finally crept up and he touched her hand that was around his chest with his thin fingers. She felt real, tangible, even. But he knew deep down that she wasn't there. Not really.

"How could I know I would never hold you? Never again in this world, but oh, sure as you breathe, I am there inside you. How could I ever know? How could I ever know?"

Loki finally turned to face her. She looked exactly as she had always looked, except her hair was down and seemed to flow in the wind. He looked into her eyes and remembered how their daughter shared those eyes. He'd refused to look at them for so many years. He took her hands in his own as they sat in front of each other in the field.

"How can I hope to go on without you? How can I know where you'd have me go? How can I bear not to dream about you? Oh, how can I let you go?" He asked her. She smiled a warm smile.

"How could I ever know?"

"All I need..."

"Is there in the garden."

"All I would ask..." Loki reached up and brushed her loose hair behind her ear.

"Is care for the child of our love. Come, go with me, safe I will keep you..."

"Where you would lead me, there I would..."

"There I would, there we would..."

"There we will go. Oh, how could I know? Tell me, how could I know? Never to know you would ever leave me. How could we know?" They said together in tandem. Loki stroked her cheek lightly as they shared a warm smile.

"How could I ever know?" Olivia finished, embracing Loki tightly. He returned the hug, sobbing into her shoulder. "Don't give up on yourself just yet. It's not your time yet, love. Lyanna needs her father."

"Maybe I just wasn't meant to have children." Loki sighed.

"Don't say that, of course you were meant to have children."

"But how can I go about being a father with no one to mother my child?"

"Be father and mother, you'll know what to do. Be the father you never had. Be the mother you always had."

"But how am I supposed to live without you? It feels like I've been dead for years without you."

Olivia wiped away a stray tear on Loki's face with her thumb.

"Lyanna needs her father." She repeated. "Loki, listen to me."

She cupped his tear-streaked face in her hand.

"It's okay to let go. You can move on and find your own happiness. Raise our child to be the best she can possibly be. And I promise you when your time comes, I'll be waiting for you. I'll wait for four thousand years if I have to. But I will wait. And the moment you step foot in Valhalla, I'll find you and never let you go. I assure you, love, the sun will shine on us again." Olivia smiled almost playfully as Loki half chuckled, half sobbed. He gently leaned down and lightly kissed her one more time.

"I love you." He whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too. I have and I always will." Olivia whispered back. When Loki pulled away and opened his eyes. Olivia was gone. "I will wait..." Her voice whispered in the wind.

Loki smiled as he finally woke up from the dream. Without a minute to spare, he shot out of bed and packed his things. He had to go home, and soon.

***

"... And you're gonna wanna block from above if someone attacks like that." Valkyrie was telling Lyanna with her training sword. The girl nodded and practiced the move a few times.

"What's next?" She asked, but Valkyrie was looking off into the distance, slightly shocked. "What? What is it?"

Lyanna looked in the direction Val was and noticed what had captured her attention. Her father was rushing over the hill with his luggage in his hands. Rushing right for her. He stopped in front of Valkyrie slightly out of breath.

"We didn't expect you back so early." She said with a neutral tone.

"I didn't either, but I am. And I'm not leaving again." Loki replied.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You were right. You and Thor were right. I can't keep running away from everything. Lyanna needs me in her life, no matter how hard it may be. She needs her father."

"I-I-I what? Loki, you've been running away for six and a half years. Why the sudden change of heart?" Val folded her arms skeptically.

"She spoke to me. In a dream. I need to move on. I can't keep running." Loki said. Val seemed to soften as Loki noticed Lyanna slightly behind Val's legs. He smiled at his daughter and crouched down in front of her.

"Lyanna? Lyanna, my dear, can you ever forgive me?" Loki asked. "I'm going to be a better father for you, Lyanna. I'm sorry I've been away so much, it's just..."

Lyanna emerged from behind Val and stood in front of her pleading father.

"So you don't hate me?" She asked. Loki seemed to recoil in shock.

"No, no, my dear, I could never hate you. I never have. I'm so sorry if I made it seem that way. Lyanna, I don't hate you. I hate what happened to your mother and I hate how I acted about it. I hate the decisions I made and I hate that she had to be taken away. But I don't hate you. I love you, my dear girl. I have and I always will." Loki lightly gripped Lyanna's shoulders with tears glistening in his eyes. "I'm asking for your forgiveness. Just like I once asked your mother for forgiveness when I did bad things in the past. I learned from those things and they made me a better person for it. I'll do the same with you. You're my world and I promise I'll never leave you behind again. I promise."

Lyanna seemed to take her father's pleas into account before she practically lept into his arms and warm embrace.

"I forgive you. And I love you, too." She said. Loki hugged her tight before letting her go.

"One last thing." He said, before summoning a blue rose from their garden into his hand. Smiling, Loki afixed it behind Lyanna's ear so it sat open faced next to her face. She giggled a little before taking Loki's hand and leading him back to the house, Valkyrie not too far behind them.

***

A/N

Aight, I sniffle sometimes while writing my stuff. I sniffled a hair when writing the funeral in the previous AU and I did the same writing the Soul Stone chapters. But this... This made me full blown sob to the point that I actually had to blow my nose cause it was running so bad. Idk why my reaction was so much bigger this time around, but it was.

So... Sorry about the angsty beating :/