❤✨ America's (Ass's) Birthday

A/N

Happy Independence Day for all of y'all in the States!

***

"Wait, back up. You actually got to see the Declaration being signed and ratified?" Tony asked, dumbfounded as he was decorating the tower for the Fourth of July/Steve's birthday.

"Well, I mean, we peered through a back window disguised as mortals, but yes." Olivia said, grabbing a Dr. Pepper from the bar's mini fridge. It was just her and Tony in the lounge as the others were out on various tasks.

Nat, Pietro and Bruce were on the Tower's large patio setting up for the fireworks show party for later that night. Clint took Thor and Loki out to look at the fireworks tents and maybe pick a few up along the way. Wanda had taken the teens out to go shopping for food and snacks for the party, as well as getting a birthday cake. That left Carson and Bucky to keep Steve out of the tower until later. It wasn't exactly a surprise party, but Tony wanted him out anyways.

"That's insane. Sometimes I forget you guys are over a thousand years old. Did you meet anyone famous then?" Tony asked, hanging streamers from the ceiling.

"Well, Thomas Jefferson dropped a pen at my feet because he was in a rush, so I gave it back to him before he went off on his way. Loki and I used to go out together, and one day, we ran into Alexander and Elizabeth Hamilton, who were taking a stroll. And I think George Washington opened the door for me once." Olivia recalled.

"You guys were all over the place!" Tony exclaimed.

"Oh, and I was putting my feet in the Boston Harbor one day and a passing horse took a shit on my shoes." Olivia said, recalling the event with disgust. Tony started laughing and he almost feel off the ladder he was standing on. She shot him a look, and he went back to what he was doing.

"Did you see the Boston Tea Party?" Tony asked.

"Who do you think gave Sam Adams the idea to throw the tea in the harbor?" Olivia asked seriously as she stuck a paper firework decoration on the wall.

"You??" Tony asked, shocked.

"No, Loki did. The best prank he could think of." Olivia replied.

"But Loki loves tea, why throw good stuff in the harbor? I mean, I'm not complaining, we'd all be British if not for that." Tony inquired.

"He thought the price was worth the reward of seeing the looks on the British's faces. And it had a bigger impact than he originally thought, it was supposed to just be an 'aha!' in the King's face, but, like you said, you'd all be British if not for that." Olivia said as she unrolled some blue streamers and hung them along the stairwell. "So, I guess you partly have Loki to thank for your independence."

"That's an unsettling and ironic though, considering he tried to take it all a few years ago." Tony said.

"Funny how life works like that." Olivia said.

"We're back!" Wanda announced, her arms holding several bags of groceries. The teens were behind her, bags in their arms as well.

"Where's the cake?" Olivia asked.

"Well, you see, the bakery was closed and we saw some cake mix while we were shopping. So, we decided from scratch was our best option." Peter meekly said.

"I've got it covered." Olivia said.

"Seriously?" Tony asked.

"Look, the last time I tried to bake, it ended with the kitchen, Loki, and I complete messes and no cake. So, I did research and now I know what to do. And I can do some fancy stuff." Olivia assured.

"So I wasn't hallucinating! My kitchen was a mess!" Tony said. Olivia ignored him.

"Okay, what did you buy?" Olivia asked. Wanda pulled out two boxes of chocolate cake mix and a box of vanilla mix. Then she produced some red, white, and blue icing and food dyes, a box of candles, and some piping bags and tips.

"Does that work?" Wanda asked.

"It's perfect. I'll go get started." Olivia said, grabbing the stuff and making her way downstairs to the kitchen.

"Have you heard from the other groups?" Tony asked.

"Clint said they'd be back in about a half hour or so. Bucky said they'd be gone for about three more hours. We have time. How's the patio?" Maya responded.

"It's outdoor party central. Blankets, pillows, coolers, a kids pool-" Tony started.

"What's the pool for?" Peter asked.

"I dunno, something about putting our feet in it if it gets hot or something." Tony replied.

"So... What's the point of decorating in here?" Maya asked.

"Indoor is for Cap's cake and presents, outdoor is for America's birthday party." Tony replied.

"Okay, whatever." Maya replied.

"Speaking of, I have a crazy story. You know the Boston Tea Party, right?"

***

~in the kitchen~

Olivia let the layers of the cake cool. It was a round two layer cake, the top layer smaller than the bottom one. She used the chocolate mix for the bottom, then split the white mix into three colors, making a red, white, and blue marble cake layer on top. She put the layers together and began to spread white icing along the outside.

"It seems to be going better than our last baking attempt." A voice said behind her.

"Unlike you, I decided I'd like to learn and improve with baking after last time. I researched and I can now bake a cake. So now I can make you a birthday cake when the time comes." Olivia replied.

"That's so sweet." Loki replied, a touch of sarcasm in his tone.

"And what will you do for my birthday? You can't bake to save your life." Olivia asked, smoothing out the frosting layer.

"Easy, just purchase one from the store." Loki said as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Then there's no loving hard work behind it." Olivia countered.

"I'd use my own money."

"You mean Stark's money."

"I'd be willing to go out on my own."

"You and I both know teleporting takes less time and energy."

"I'd actually talk to the Midgardians."

"You love the attention they give you, so that's not a chore for you." Olivia put down the icing spatula and filled a piping bag with blue icing. "Face it, there's nothing you can do that would make buying a cake rewarding in any way, shape, or form over making a cake."

Loki hugged her from behind and rested his chin on the top of her head as she finished with the blue. She decorated the borders and edges of the cake with blue dollops, leaving space between each one for the red, as well as wrote "Happy Birthday, Steve!" on the front. She still had some blue in the bag, though. Sighing, she passed the frosting to Loki.

"I'm done with this, you can have it." She said. Loki took the bag of frosting as Olivia put the red into the other piping bag. She filled in the dollop gaps and drew a swirl on the top of the cake for no reason. She passed off the other bag and opened the candle box.

"Can you go check the patio? I wanna know how it's doing." Olivia asked as she started placing candles.

"Sure." Loki obliged, kissing her on the crown of her head before departing.

***

~Across Town, Joe's Pizza~

"Really, guys, I know Tony is planning a party, you didn't have to keep me out of the tower." Steve sighed, taking another slice of pizza from the box.

"True, but Tony told us we couldn't eat cake if we didn't take you out. A small price to pay." Bucky said.

"Thanks, Buck." Steve replied sarcastically.

"What, you are saying this isn't fun? That hurts, Stevie Wonder." Carson said.

"No, it's great, I just think Tony is being..." Steve trailed off, trying to think of the right word.

"Domineering?" Carson offered.

"Yeah, sure. But shouldn't you all be celebrating the Fourth like regular people?" Steve asked.

"Look, Steve, I am German. America is great and all, but it is not my native land. The fact that it is your birthday is more important in my eyes." Carson said.

"So really, about half of us have an excuse to celebrate your birthday over the Fourth." Bucky finished.

"Yeah! Me, the twins, Nat, the Asgardians, we are not from here. Yeah, the fireworks and shit are cool, but your birthday matters, too." Carson added.

"Thanks, guys. So... What's after this? The streets will be crowded soon because of the shows all over town." Steve asked.

"Well, we should be back in about an hour hour or so. Maybe a walk around Central Park, before heading back?" Bucky suggested.

"That works. I'll be right back." Steve said, standing up and heading to the restroom.

"Central Park? You never struck me as a 'take a stroll around the park' type of guy." Carson said, waving a fresh slice of pizza around before pointing it at Bucky's face to emphasize his point. Bucky looked down at the pizza slice, before giving a tiny smirk and taking a bite of it.

"And I didn't expect you to be the 'share your pizza' type of guy." Bucky said.

"Wha- hey, that was mine! Get your own damn slice!" Carson said, looking at the bitten pizza with slight despair.

"Mm... Nah. This way, you do most of the work for me." Bucky replied, running his fingers through Carson's hair, causing him to blush a little.

"Well, I guess since you put your mouth on it, it is yours now." Carson said, tossing the pizza to Bucky's plate.

"Is that how that works? I put my mouth on it and it's mine?" Bucky asked.

"Yeah, you are welc-" Carson started, but was cut off by Bucky planting his lips onto Carson's, gingerly running a hand through his lilac locks of hair. After a minute, they broke for air.

"I put my mouth on it, it's mine." Bucky said. Carson smacked Bucky's arm lightly.

"You sly son of a bitch." Carson said, smiling warmly.

"I love you." Bucky said.

"I know." Carson replied, booping Bucky's nose.

"Alright, lovebirds, let's pay and get a move on." Steve said behind them. They blushed and stood up, going to the front counter to pay. Steve led the way to Central Park as Carson and Bucky walked behind him, hand in hand.

***

~Avengers Tower, Patio~

"So... The only reason we have a fruit platter out here for snacks is because Steve would have a fit if there was nothing remotely healthy?" Maya asked as Nat dumped more blueberries into the fruit platter.

"Yeah, but blueberries are good." Nat replied.

"And so is cake, what's your point?" Maya replied. Nat just smiled and continued adding fruit to the platter.

"It would also be nice if Pietro would help more." Bruce said after putting up and umbrella. He gestured to Pietro's sleeping form on one of the beach chairs they had put out.

"Yeah... Actually... Hey, Loki, can I use one of those frosting bags?" Maya asked. Loki nodded, curious, as he passed her the red bag. She bent down and squirted a large mass of frosting on Pietro's open hand that was hanging over the side of the chair. She then tickled the side of his face, causing his arm to shoot up, slapping himself to get rid of the itch.

Which unfortunately led to Pietro slapping frosting all over his face. He shot up to see red all over his hand and face. Nat burst out laughing as Loki high-fived Maya for her acomplished prank.

"OH MY GOD, I'M BLEEDING!" Pietro shrieked at seeing the red frosting everywhere, still not quite processing what had happened.

"Dude, it's frosting. Chill out." Nat wheezed, clutching her gut. Pietro stopped his freak out before going back inside, licking the frosting off his hand.

"Steve and the others should be back in less than an hour, are you guys ready?" Bruce asked.

"Psh, sure. The patio just needs a few more snacks, and it's ready." Maya said.

"What did you guys get Steve?" Nat asked. Loki and Maya side-eyed each other. "Oh no, what?"

"Okay... So the two of us and Wanda may or may not have made a spoof video based on the original Star Spangled Man with a Plan skit from the Fourties." Maya said.

"Okay, the only thing I see wrong with this is why the hell did you not invite me?" Nat asked in mock shock.

"We figured you wouldn't be caught dead in one of the dresses." Loki justified.

"Your right, I wouldn't. Good call. Can't wait to see it." Nat said.

"Also, we may or may not have sent a copy of the video to Agent Coulson..." Maya said. Nat snorted and ate a blueberry.

"What, was it an apology gift for killing him for several days?" Nat asked.

"I thought it was fourty seconds?" Maya asked.

"There's a lot you don't know about T.A.H.I.T.I." Nat replied.

"And, no, it's not. I made amends with the Agent already." Loki replied.

"We just thought it would be something he'd like to have, maybe show to his agents. Even if it's not really Steve in the video." Maya said. "What'd you get Steve, Nat?"

"New running shoes. His were looking a little worse for wear." Nat replied.

"Ah, makes sense. Bruce?" Maya asked.

"Shield polish." Bruce replied.

"Uh, okay guys, Steve and the others are heading back to the tower now. You guys ready?" Tony asked, poking his head outside.

"Sure are." Nat said, gesturing everyone inside to the lounge.

***

~Later, after Steve's Party~

Steve very much enjoyed his little party that the others had put together. He liked the cake, taking mostly the red, white, and blue top layer. He enjoyed most of his gifts (the obvious exception being the video; his already iffy mood on it soured once he learned Coulson got a copy), a new suit from Tony being one of his favorites.

Then everyone piled outside after about an hour. They ate snacks, talked, and Tony even filled a small water gun with the water from the kiddie pool and started spraying Clint with it. Clint fortunately kept his cool and held back from starting a war.

Even when Nat pelted him from behind a few minutes later.

Then once it got dark, everyone got into chairs and under blankets and pillows to watch a fireworks show being held at Central Park. They were high enough up that they were eye level with the explosions. It made for a fantastic night. After the show was over, Tony made a proclemation.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA!" he said, easily very drunk (Clint and Pietro also wasted).

"Who let them near the alcohol?" Olivia asked.

"That's gonna hurt in the morning." Wanda replied.

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