The crack of dawn seeps in through the curtains of my living room, warm golden rays of the rising sun gently kissing my skin with the early heat, I squint, forcing my brain from the dream and back into reality.

I fucking hate mornings.

Ultimately my eyes peel open, cozed and wrapped into my fluffy duvets as the A.C. flows into the living room, snuggling my head into the soft clouds of the pillow in attempt to escape the beam above my eyes.

Wrapping the blanket tightly around my body I peered around my spacious living room admiring the decorum and colors in a morning silence, until I furrowed my brows to distinct chatters.

A breathy giggle followed by a deep muffled voice, Someone was outside. My curiosity peaks forcing me to my feet. As if stepping into a cooler the cold air of the A.C. envelops my body, Teeth chattering feeling the cold freeze my blood cells until I step into the warmth of the rays. In the patio Ryan walks with a phone to his ears, a smile graces my face watching as he moves about.

Something about the shimmer in his orbs rubbed me the wrong way.

At the peak of my distaste he looks at me in the nick of time, his eyes slightly widening before he ducks away with the phone in his ears.

Fuck, he just saw my stank face.

The patio door glides open, "Hey baby" he cheesed.

I look up to his face, a faint blush of red underneath, "Who were you talking to?" I nervously giggle feeling his arm slid around my waist.

"Hmm? Oh that was a business deal I just closed." He shrugged dismissively, hiding that light in the corner of his eyes. He always had his way of happiness.

Acting like he didn't care at all was his way of covering up his real feeling inside. Stoicism and brushing it off as if he didn't just lay out a life changing moment.

"Ryan, That is amazing!"

Blushing like a little boy on valentine, he shy's away from my enthusiasm snuggling into my shoulder. I inhale his scent of shampoo slithering my arms around his shoulder, reciprocating his embrace. Nothing but the light swoosh of the A.C blowing on as we utter no words, allowing the silence to set in.

Closing my eyes to feel the firm build of his back side, smooth shaven skin with those bulging muscles underneath. Digging my fingers into the silky strands of his hair, in gratitude he groans to the feel. A heat ignited in me to keep poking for a deeper reaction.

Though the sex was below mediocre, it would be a temporary jump kick to the bizarre schedule I am facing today.

I'm pulling him closer, whatever emotion I felt at that moment seemed to work its way into my nerves, tingling my brain.

"That tickles" he chuckles breathlessly.

Deep rumbling of his chest quaver down my body striking at the core, could this be the way? If I close my eyes will it be easier to make love to him that way?

Mentally I scoffed at the idea, my husband is a handsome sight to behold, but the only way for me to reach climax is for me to not look at him at all? I'm appalled at myself for thinking that way, but in no way will I be picturing him in that terrifying mask again.

Yet the fantasy was there, maybe if he had a pair of warm hazel marbles to stare into as he plunges himself deep inside me.

A smile creeping across my face, yes that's perfect. Honey brown skin, six feet tall, Raven hair and an accent. An Italian -

My pussy licks painfully and I shudder out, My eyes fling open just as I realized where the thoughts were headed, this is why I can't be alone, or have a moments peace. They will betray me, and this wasn't the right timing. Here I am holding onto my husband and my thoughts run to Alessandro.

But how was I so sure that's where my delusion would run, in just a couple of days that man sculpted his way into my memories. Now painting him as a temporary source for an escape.

"You alright?" My husband questions looking down to my eyes. Guilt eating at me looking at the serenity of his, teras begin to brim but I force them away.

"Hey, hey what is it?" he pokes, the more he consoles me the harder it was to not to crumble. Strong arms tighten around my waist pressing my body to him in a sensual manner. My arms around his neck battling the tears, vision blurring.

"You know you can always talk to me" he whispers aside my neck planting a deep kiss.

A reassurance I needed but don't think I'll take up on anytime soon. Not when the risk of my marriage will be on the line, but the vows were broken the second I parted my lips for a taste of something forbidden, being honest is the least I could be.

"Ryan?" I croaked. Blinking out a pesky tear.

He mumbled In response slightly releasing his hold around me.

My heart hammering, this is it. A thick bile rising in my throat, my eyes roaming around the horizon of our gated community, until I grazed my eyes over to the window next door, just as another word was ready to spew it disintegrates from my tongue.

Misfortune has her way of telling me she doesn't care what time or place, face your sins.

My lips don't close, they part wider along did my eyes. Across from where we stood. In nothing but grey sweats was Alessandro, a hand on his hip with an arm leaning against his window. Eyes on us.

How long was he standing there?

Im looking directly into his eyes and I knew he was looking directly into mine, a distasteful expression at the scene.

"Babe you ok?" Came the muffle of Ryan's voice. Long fingers circling around my back. I feel him ready to move from me and I tighten my arms around his neck locking him in place.

"Can w-we stay like this a little longer?" I requested, never blinking away from The man next door.

His chest rumbled as he chuckled, heavy breath blowing back my tight curls. "Of course babe" he assured me. "We'll stay like this for as long as you need."

A hard expression on Alessandro's face, eyes darkened as he crossed his arms around his chest. My eyes move down to the strong biceps. He doesn't like this? Maybe he can get the memo that way.

Motivated by the desire to push it further one of my arms uncoil from Ryan's neck, slithering my fingers up his nape, seas of goosebumps arose on his skin as he shudders from my feathery touch until I am buried into his silky strands.

Alessandro's head tilts back slowly, perhaps it was my cockiness to believe I was succeeding in making him jealous but I swore I saw his jaw tick with anger. So far from me, a desire to be touched like my husband with my fingers massaging his hair, marking my territory and establishing my boundaries, all this just to prove what happend to us was only a mistake.

Influenced by the Alcohol in our systems, only a temporary passion that kicked in out of vulnerability, yet that was no excuse. Perhaps if I waited for my husband to get home and had him go and retrieve the key or maybe not bother to try with the car and just called my insurance company and get an Uber than this would have never happened.

Ashamed as I was, a part of me was actually asking for it. I was drawn in by his dark features, handsome and strong, if this was my testament against my vows than for sure I had broken them, and is still tempted for more.

A sudden annoyance waves through me, what if the roles were reversed and it was I to watch him feel up on another woman? What if it hadn't been me? What if it was just not the right timing? Or maybe if it was another woman that caught sight of the man before me

The thought alone scares me shitless.

It's clear he wouldn't look away, shamelessly staring at us not even caring that it is his boss he is eyeing with such revulsion.

"Babe, I love this. But we have to get going." Ryan muffled aside my neck, planting deep sensual kisses. "Wow you're burning up" he adds.

I clear my throat, unaware at how ignited I was until he mentions it. "Uh, yea it's uh -"

I struggled to find words, juggling at which crisis was more a priority, my body ratting me out or the half naked man across my window who was visibly unbothered that Ryan could turn around at any moment and spot him.

"Wanna stay home today we cou-"

"No, uh I'll just -" with haste I move around before Ryan could glance about the curtains was jerked closed.

"Hey that was -"

"You're going to be late babe" I huff with a weak smile, fingers jitter. That was a close one.

***

That's the fourth red light I hit, the car behind me honks in frustration. Through my rear-view mirror, I sent him a wave.

Emotions fuzzy as I sit under the streetlight during rush hour wondering to myself how could I have gotten myself into this mess. My body roars, the memory of his eyes carved into my brain.

Inescapable, even if I blink. I worry for my mindset.

***

"Hey sweetie, are you sick?"

My distance stare is disrupted by the soft tone of a question. A figure slithers its way into my view, the blur is heightened, and I look at the soft questioning eyes of Analisa.

Thickly I gulp, coming in tune with my surroundings. Somehow, I wondered into the building having no correlation of even moving. My right to worry for my mindset was disturbingly accurate.

Soft palms slither up my naked arm, warmth radiates from her touch as she firmly grips my shoulder. "Hey love, talk to me what is wrong?"

There is a blur in my vision, my throat clawing to release the guilt in my chest. My silence began to garner attention from everyone in the studio. The dress around my body tightens.

Barely finding my voice I struggled for my words. "I-" I hoarse. Awkward stares shrink my self-esteem. Luckily Analisa pulls my arm removing me from the gazes of our peers.

In our studio rooms we sit, the plastic of a cold bottle of water brushes against my lips. "Drink this" Analisa says. Fumes of her expensive perfume whiff my face.

My sudden thirst quenches from the water running down my dry throat, perhaps maybe that can stop this minor obsession. "Thank you" I breathed catching my breath.

Her worrisome look pokes at my anxiety, Mistakenly I look away right into my vanity mirror aside me where I can now see the obvious look of guilt. Glossed eyes, curls shriveled and a flushed face.

Great, a solid visual of my emotions staring back at me, and she was ugly, unsure, regretful. But as deep was the remorse hidden between it was a longing.

"Do you want to go home?" The sound of her voice once again calls out to me, soft fingers entangled with mine as she uses her thumb to rub at the back at my hand.

I look down, but just as I did a lonely tear slid form my eye gliding down my cheeks, the sorrow overbears me, and I crumble.

"Hey, hey what is it talk to me." She meant well, but the tears only kept streaming because of her kindness. I better enjoy this gesture; she will be angry for sure once I spill the burden in my chest.

My mascara runs, water falls in both my nasal passageways from the ugly cry, my makeup artist will for sure have a field day trying to clen this up before the shoot, but for sure it felt good to release the ache.

Since the words couldn't break from my throat, they spill through my emotions, and they were wild. The air is suffocating, and my face is snuggled in between a pair of double D's, a whiff of expensive Chanel tickles the back of my throat.

My tears drenching the polyester fabric against my face, emotions thinning as I realize the scene.

In between the crack of her breasts was I cocooned, nested on her soft boob, nose drippings on her breast, I pull away and a thick string of slime lingers before splitting in the middle.

Despite the giggle she makes a cringe face emoji. I'm mortified, "Sorry." I croak looking away from the mess to search for tissues.

She scoffs, "remember when you through up all over shoes." she strains rising up. Heat burns at my nape at the reminder of our old times. At the age of sixteen, our adolescents' years, wildcats, ripened fruits for the tasting.

Up until now, we are side by side in our dream careers with the lives we dreamed and worked for. Prompt reminder of how she was with me from the beginning and has guided me to the right paths since the start, I'm a fool, perhaps when I thought I fully flourished but the teen in me still begs for a taste she couldn't have.

A piece of white cloth is presented me, "Here love."

I sniffle thickly clearing my throat, "Thanks."

She sighs heavily sitting aside me on the metal chair aside from me, brows furrowed. A thick silence settling in between us before she slams a hammer through it.

"So, what happened?"

The question I knew I would have to face sooner or later, but still couldn't find the words.

"I-" I clear my throat. Fuck, the intent look in her eyes, picking me apart, reading every fault. It is a curse to wear my heart on my sleeves. If my mouth doesnt spill the truth my body language will certainly give it away one way or another.

"I-"

"Are you two fighting again?"

I shook my head; would she guess the answer?

"Is it about your mom again?"

Again, I shake my head in disagreement. How could she ever guess the answer? I'm trying to find the easiest way out; she only goes further away.

I try and mumble, but my lips refused to split open, guilt rages within me, my veins on fire. Fucking speak dammit, her eyes narrow on my mouth, I'm so fucking pathetic.

"I-"

"You know what, it's fine." She claps, "How about we instead take our minds from all of this and have some fun tonight?"

I question her motives, brows furrowing to what I assume she was trying to say.

As if she read my thoughts she smiles, eyes beaming with excitement as she nodded solemnly.

Would getting loose rid of this silent torture? Not exactly, not when I live near the source. But perhaps letting loose might ease my tense behavior.

Once again, my lips are sealed, for now.