Silence.

An achingly empty silence that I couldn't fill. There were a million things I wanted to say, but I couldn't say any of them.

"You can't get mad." I said, and received a humorless laugh in response. "No, you can't."

"Why can't I?"

"You just - you just can't, okay? We're not having this conversation over the phone."

"Right, fine. Have it your way."

"My way?! I don't want to have this conversation here, we need to talk about this properly. This isn't me wanting my way."

"Yeah, whatever. I'll be home soon. Meet me at the house. Alone."

~

I heard the front door open just as I was folding the last of my shirts, and my hands slowed. There were careful, deliberate footsteps on the stairs, and my heard began to beat faster; I really did not want this confrontation.

I couldn't bear shouting, or screaming, or crying, and I didn't want accusations or swearing. I couldn't bear fights. Not with Gerard. It just hurt too much, made me feel like I was at fault, even when I wasn't. I just missed being us, before all this shit started. I missed him.

I knew he was at the door but didn't turn around, laying the folded shirt on the bed and wringing my hands together. They were trembling, my nerves jittery and on edge. Kissing Bob - no matter who initiated it - was nowhere near as bad as sleeping with Bert.

"What are you doing?" I heard him say, and I just wanted to kiss him and make it all go away. But I couldn't. It wouldn't.

I needed him like I needed air to breathe, but I didn't know if he was the right kind of air for me anymore.

"Folding shirts." I mumbled pathetically, stating the fucking obvious.

"Frankie." I could feel him behind me, his hands on my hips. "What's going on?" I didn't reply, my hands coming up to wrap around myself and touch his. "Honey?"

I noticed that the sheets were neat, and made, for the first time in ages. They looked like they hadn't been slept in for weeks, and they hadn't - because Gerard and I had been in Jersey. With a pang I realised that maybe they wouldn't get messed up again, not by the two of us. Maybe by Gerard and some other guy. Maybe by Gerard and Bert.

Bile rose in my throat and I ripped myself away from Gerard, desperately trying to swallow down my breakfast, which was threatening to make an appearance. There was nowhere to go but sideways.

"I can't." I said, shaking my head. "I can't do this."

"Can't do what?" His confused eyes looked from me to my clothes and back to me again, and then realisation settled onto his face. "Oh. I see how it is."

"Gee..."

"Are you leaving me?"

I closed my eyes, not wanting to see the hurt on his face, but when I looked at him, I saw only anger. Like my silence was an answer. Like my silence meant yes.

Like I wasn't allowed to make the choice.

"You can't do that." He said, his hands clenched into fists.

"I didn't answer the question." I replied.

"Which said it all, really."

I licked my lips. "Gee, you don't understand. I...I need to stay in Jersey for a while. By myself. I love you, but I don't think you love me anymore." With every word, my voice got quieter and quieter, and I suddenly found the carpet extremely fascinating.

"What are you on about? Of course I love you."

I shook my head. "If you love me - like you say you do - then you wouldn't have slept with Bert."

"Jesus Christ, I was drunk!"

"You can't blame your actions on alcohol. You shouldn't have started drinking in the first place."

"I couldn't help it!"

"Yes, you could." I took a deep breath and then went to the closet, where I took out the case I'd used to transport my things here in the first place. "I can't be around you when you're like this. Living in the same house as your ex was bad enough, but I can't stay here, not now I know that you actually fucked him."

"It was a mistake!"

I made the mistake of looking up at him, dropping the case onto the bed. "Was it on this bed? Did you make a mess on the sheets?" I could feel tears rising in my eyes, and I swear, the minute I cried I'd be out of here. "Did you...did you scream out his name as you came? Did you fuck him like you fuck me?"

He shook his head, not even bothering to hide his desperation. "Frankie, please, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, I know Bert has been feeding you lies but -"

"Bert hasn't been feeding me lies." I hissed. "He admitted that it was his fault too, and he told me what happened, and right now I'm more inclined to believe him over you."

"Stop it, please, don't do this to me." I didn't reply, shoving my clothes into the case, along with the rest of my belongings. "Does this mean you're breaking up with me?"

I froze, chewing on the inside of my cheek as I formulated an answer. Did this mean I had to break up with him? "No."

"Then why -"

"I just need to be alone!" I pinched the bridge of my nose, taking a few deep breaths. "You can give me that, can't you?"

"Yes, but I don't want to. I don't want to be without you, I don't want want to wake up without you by my side, I'm scared of losing you but I don't want to be. It sounds horrible and selfish but I can't do this on my own." I shook my head, gathering up the possessions I had yet to take, and I made my way towards the door. "No, no, Frank, please! I love you!"

I couldn't look at him. I just couldn't. "No, you don't." I said, and then I left.

~

He'd come after me, insisting that he drove me, and I didn't want any more hurt or arguing so I let him. But when he pulled up two blocks away from my mom's house, he turned to me.

"You don't have to do this." He said, his hand dropping to my knee.

"Yes, I do. I can't stay in that house any longer with him around, and as I can't see him leaving any time soon, I guess I'm gonna have to go."

"You're making me choose?"

I shook my head. "I never said that. We just need to be apart for a while."

"It was bad enough waiting for you to graduate."

"Oh, yeah." I scoffed. "You were really missing me."

"I was!" He grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. "Frankie, please. We can go away for a few days, forget about everything, and we can just be us again."

I considered it, I really did; maybe it was just what we needed, because something was missing from our relationship - something was wrong. Something was wrong with us and we were going downhill, but maybe we just couldn't be fixed. We wouldn't be fixed with a few days of seclusion and sex.

But I wanted to spend time with him. I missed hanging around with him like we used to. I missed him.

He was Gerard, my boyfriend, and we were supposed to stick together through thick and thin. That's what boyfriends did. That's what girlfriends did. Husbands, wives, fiancés...

But he slept with his ex.

I took a deep breath, staring out the windshield. It hurt. It hurt so much. I wanted things to be okay, but things were never okay, not with me, not with Gerard. Gerard was a tornado and tornadoes don't care what or where they destroy. Tornadoes don't give a fuck. Tornadoes just destroy.

"Fine." I said, albeit reluctantly. He was still holding my hand, though I couldn't tell whose sweat I could feel on my skin, and I could swear I felt him relax just the tiniest bit. "Just...just drive. I don't care where we go, so long as it's not here."

He smiled widely, pressing his lips against my cheek, and I felt my heart wrench. This wouldn't last. There was no way it could, and, well...we were just kidding ourselves if we thought it could.

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It's short and kinda sucks, but the next chapter is the second-to-last, and the twenty-fifth will be the last - with an epilogue, of course. Sad times, guys...

Thanks for 6k votes too, that's awesome!!

(((((I met Gerard Way hold me)))))

Thanks Pete,

-xøcharr <3