The Making of…

Chapter 10

Bloom, Boyd, Monaghan… You’re All Dead!

We stepped out of the minibus at the Wellington docks just after ten in the morning, and found ourselves faced with several large warehouses, and a small group of people all in wetsuits emblazoned with ‘Wellington Watersports Centre’.

“Hi,” One of the guys said, stepping forward. He was tanned, tall, muscular and blonde (to sum his appearance up, he might have just jogged off the set of Baywatch). “You must be the guys from The Lord of the Rings. I’m Mike, and I’ll be showing you some basic boat-handling skills today.”

I had to physically stop myself from rolling my eyes at his typical introduction. ‘Hi, I’m a guy who does sports better than you! Let’s go do sports!’

“Hey, I’m Kira.” I smiled forcibly as he shook my hand, he then moved on to everyone else, including the camera crew that had tagged along. Apparently they wanted some ‘Making of’ footage for the DVDs. Everyone who was in the Fellowship was here, except for Ian, because he would never have to be in the boats, as everyone was supposed to think that Gandalf was dead at that point.

We went into one of the warehouses, which contained several Canadian-style canoes, and other Watersports equipment. I located the ladies changing room and changed into my bikini and pulled a pair of shorts and a t-shirt over the top.

As I stepped out, I went to find the other equipment I would need. As I passed the men’s changing rooms I heard several screams – mostly sounding like they were coming from Billy, Dom, and Elijah.

“Dom! Stop looking at me you pervert!”

“Yeah? Well stop dancing around while you’re in the middle of changing!”

“Billy! Turn around! Have mercy!”

“Shut it, Wood!”

And so forth.

I rolled my eyes and walked off to find a lifejacket. As I was pulling it on, John walked out of the changing rooms, grimacing a little.

“Honestly, those three have no shame!” He muttered as I laughed.

“I thought we all gave up our dignity when we entered acting, isn’t that the general rule?” I grinned.

“Fair point.” He smiled as Viggo, Orlando and the two Sean’s entered the room. They were all wearing similar clothes to me (minus the bikini… I hoped). A few minutes later, Billy, Dom and Elijah stumbled out, giving each other the occasional punch on the arm. As soon as we were all assembled, Mike and the Baywatch Squad appeared.

“Ready to get out on the water guys?” Mike said enthusiastically, giving a glistening white-toothed smile.

Not long after that, I found myself sitting in a canoe on the water with Viggo (as we would be in the same boat in the movie… No pun intended), being coached and told things I already knew. This wasn’t my first time out in a boat.

“Right guys, now you know the basics, let’s have a race!” Mike cried cheerfully from the small rescue dingy he and his ‘crew’ were in. He threw a marker buoy into the water a couple of meters away and aligned his boat parallel to it. “Ok, start parallel to my boat and first team around the mark and back is the winner!”

“Sweet.” I muttered under my breath, before turning to Viggo who was sitting behind me, “Lets thrash these guys!” I grinned as we paddled to the ‘start line’. Billy and Dom paddled up beside us and really gave us the evil eye – I supposed they were trying to psyche us out.

“You’re going down Forest!” Dom hissed under his breath.

“You too Mortensen.” Billy added.

“Hobbits…” I muttered, rolling my eyes and smirking. I’d seen those two practicing, we had this in the bag. Orlando and John were having a rough time of it, due to the… Uh, ‘unbalanced weight’, both Sean’s and Elijah were sitting this session out, due to the odd number of people, and the fact that there were only three boats. I was confident we were the best team, even though Viggo hadn’t had much experience of this sort.

“Go!” Mike yelled and I started ferociously paddling.

“Woah! John don’t lurch forward like that!” I heard Orlando yell from behind us as Viggo and I got into our rhythm.

“Uh Ki?” I heard Viggo mumble behind me after a few seconds. “You might want to try and speed up a little.”

“What?” I asked, turning to see Billy and Dom approaching our side, and looking downright diabolical. “Crap…” I muttered, increasing our speed. We reached the mark and turned, with Billy and Dom close on our tail, hurling insults at us.

“Sore losers!” I yelled over my shoulder as we passed Mike’s boat and I cheered. Orlando and John were still spinning in circle near the mark, and our main competitors were just pulling up behind us.

I suddenly felt something yank the back of the boat and looked back to see Billy grabbing the stern, with Dom close behind. He gave me a malicious smirk, before giving the boat a sharp twist.

“Wait no!” I screamed as the boat flipped and I was rather ungracefully dumped in the freezing cold water. “Ugh!” I yelled, resurfacing and coughing violently, as I had swallowed some of the salt water. I bobbed about for a second or two as I saw Viggo resurface and swim to my side.

“You ok?” He asked breathlessly.

“Yep…” I growled, glaring daggers at Billy and Dom, who were in hysterics. “Hey Boyd!” I yelled, “The second I get my hands on you I’m gonna kick your Scottish ass all the way back to Glasgow! That goes for you too Monaghan!”

I heard Viggo chuckle beside me as he grabbed the upside-down boat and flipped it over, just as Mike came over to save the day… Not. Viggo scrambled into the boat unaided, and reached down to pull me in. I flopped in with about as much elegance as a drowned rat and started wringing out my sopping wet hair.

“Well that went well.” Viggo muttered with a smirk. I glared at our rivals with narrowed eyes.

“Revenge is a dish best served cold…” I hissed under my breath.

“As cold as the sea?”

“Damn straight.” I smirked, grabbing my paddle from where it was floating in the water and mapped out a plan in my head. “Hey Vig? Do you think you could handle the boat on your own for a few minutes?”

“Why?”

“Because I’m about to jump ship.” I smirked, paddling over to Billy and Dom, who were still giggling like schoolgirls.

“Do your worst.” Viggo laughed.

“Oh I will.” I smirked, stowing my paddle in the base of the boat and readying myself as we approached the other canoe. “Just get out of the way quickly so you don’t get tipped… Ready… Now!” I cried, launching myself onto the opposite canoe, capsizing it instantly with the impact. I scrambled quickly back onto the upturned hull as Dom and Billy popped out of the water. I sat cross-legged on the bobbing boat and smiled victoriously. “Hi guys.” I winked as they glowered. The phrase ‘if looks could kill…’ sprang to mind.

“You are so dead Ki!” Dom yelled, swimming towards me.

“Bring it.” I challenged, standing a little unsteadily. Dom grabbed the boat and tried to shake me off, but I managed to keep my balance. Dom hauled himself up onto the boat and stood, wobbling slightly. He took a step towards me and I shoved him hard in the chest with both hands. It didn’t hurt him – because of his padded lifejacket – but nonetheless he still toppled into the water. I skipped on the spot victoriously, with about as much balance as Bambi on ice… Suddenly, the boat was rammed by something large and I yelped as I was thrown into the water. I resurfaced quickly with a gasp and looked up to see Orlando and John chuckling to themselves in their canoe.

“Damn it Bloom…” I muttered under my breath, scowling as I bobbed about, using my lifejacket to keep myself afloat.

“Get her!” I heard Billy yell behind me as I turned to see him and Dom swimming towards me.

“Oh shit…” I mumbled, trying to swim back to the refuge of the boat.

“Kira!” I looked up to see Viggo paddling towards me. I grinned as he offered me his hand. We grasped each other’s wrists and he quickly pulled me into the boat.

“Thanks!” I gasped breathlessly.

“You’ve made some enemies.” He joked as we paddled easily away from a grumbling Billy and Dom. We heard a yell behind us and saw that John and Orlando had overbalanced and both of them had been dumped in the water.

“Uh, guys?” I heard Mike say, sounding a little panicked that he was losing control of the situation. “Perhaps we should let the others have a turn?”

“I think he means he wants us out of the boats!” I whispered to Viggo.

“Well, I think I’ve had quite enough for one day!” John smiled, bobbing in the water quite happily.

“I think we’ll head in too.” Viggo smiled, as we paddled back to the jetty where Elijah and the two Sean’s were waiting. We clambered out of the boat and let Elijah and Sean Astin take our boat.

“Good luck guys.” I grinned as they paddled off. Orlando and John appeared and John climbed out, and wandered back to the changing rooms as Sean hopped into the canoe. “Have fun Bean!” I grinned, giving their boat a nudge with my foot and watching as they span in a full circle, before they gained control and followed the others.

“Well, what now?” Viggo asked.

“I suppose we could just watch.” I shrugged, pulling off my lifejacket and sitting down on the jetty with my feet dangling over the side. Viggo followed my lead and we sat and watched our colleagues ‘misadventures’. Orlando and Sean crashed into Billy and Dom, and they both capsized, and then Elijah and Sean crashed into the two upturned boats, resulting in a three-way watery disaster. I laughed as Mike zoomed around, not really knowing what to do. I could tell we definitely weren’t the most mature group to take part in this activity.

“Are you cold?” Viggo asked suddenly.

“Nope!” I smiled, “I’m British, I can stand a little cold!”

“Good.” He smiled, turning back to watch the others. After I few minutes, I noticed him subtly place his hand on my lower back. What was he doing?

With a sudden movement he pushed me off the edge of the jetty into the water below. I wasn’t wearing a lifejacket, so I had to swim to the surface myself. I spluttered a little as I resurfaced and glared at Viggo.

“Jerk!” I yelled, and he pretended to look hurt.

“Sorry I couldn’t resist.” He smiled.

“I didn’t even have a lifejacket on! For shame Viggo, for shame.” I scolded him, as I treaded water. I swam around a little, unhindered by my safety equipment and floated on my back for a while, starting up at Viggo.

“You look like a corpse.” He commented.

“Charming.” I muttered, ducking beneath the water and swimming towards him. I popped up beneath his feet and grabbed his leg, yanking him down into the water. I laughed as he resurfaced, looking slightly confused.

“What did I do to deserve that?” He cried in mock horror.

“You pushed me in.”

“Well you called me a jerk.”

“Well you said I looked like a corpse.” I retorted.

“Touché…” He muttered, putting his hand on top of my head and dunking me under the water. I swam down and grabbed his ankles, pulling him down with me. I swam up and waited for him to resurface.

“Roar, I’m a shark.” I giggled, as he raised an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah, I forgot there were sharks around here.” He mumbled, brushing his soaked hair out of his eyes.

“What?” I squeaked.

“Yeah, Great Whites and everything.” He replied as my eyes widened. “You scared?”

“Uh… No…” I mumbled awkwardly. “Because they rarely attack humans and stuff…” I trailed off uncertainly as he laughed, before humming the theme tune from ‘Jaws’ as I became more and more uneasy. He suddenly grabbed my arms, making me jump.

“Viggo! Stop it!” I wailed, splashing water at him.

“Y’ know what the best way to escape a shark is?” He asked mischievously.

“What?” I asked, taking the bait.

“Swim faster than the person next to you!” He laughed, turning and swimming back to the jetty.

“I’m gonna kill you Vig!” I growled, swimming after him. We hauled ourselves up onto the jetty just as the others were landing the boats.

On our way back to the changing rooms, we decided to go out later in the evening, apparently Billy and Dom had found ‘one of the best bars ever’, and wanted to take us there.

“Fine,” I smiled, “But the first round is on you guys!”