.

.

.

     "You mind if I join you for a second?" His silhouette stood in your bedroom doorway. You pushed your torso upright, half asleep already.

     "...What?" Your eyes widened. "Wait. Join me??"

     "I meant in your room.. Hhh. Sorry, I haven't gotten much sleep lately..."

     "M... Well, okay, sure."

     "Thanks..." Kai groggily slipped into the room, leaving your door open. He was wearing his usual black dress shirt and matching pants, his bird mask presently gone. He looked around for a while, tired eyes studying all the poorly illuminated trinkets and decor he never cared to look at before. You half sat up in bed, ensuring the blankets reached to cover your chest. You watched the man closely.

     He never stepped this far into your room. Before, it was to him like stepping into enemy territory. Then, it became the private space of a teen girl he shouldn't dare cross. Now.. well, he really didn't know where he stood with you anymore. He couldn't quite place what you were to him like he could years, even months before.

     After a time, the man sat down beside your bed with his back against your dresser. His legs crossed, knees up high enough to rest his arms on comfortably. He exhaled loudly, pleasantly surprised by how not bad your room smelled. It was a lot cleaner now than it used to be. Still a chaotic mess for the eyes, but everything had its place and there were no crumbs or trash lying around. Unlike his room, yours was filled with the brim with personality. He felt as though he could stare for hours at all the posters and figurines you had collected and still be finding new things out about you. 

     "Did you want something?" You asked at last, dragging the man out of his deep thoughts.

     He blinked drowsily in your direction. "Oh.. No. Not really... No."

     "Okay?"

     "-If you could answer something for me, though..."

     "...Hm?" You rotated your body to face the man, pulling the blanket higher over your chest. Kai's words stalled. Nearly a whole minute passed before he made another sound.

     "A long time ago... You shared with me a very bleak outlook on the world.. one I still can't quite understand how you are able to balance with your unrelenting optimism?"

     "Optimism??"

     "Let me finish." You shut up. "Remember when we first discussed the morality regarding quirks? Instead of even trying to argue with me about whether or not they were a disease, as most do, you instead went on to compare them to cancer, or the flu... You said that no matter what I tried, the world would remain broken, as it has always been."

     "I still believe that."

     "Then why do you even care? With that outlook, I would expect you to care very little about the world or the people on it. But no. Instead, you insist on becoming a hero. A job that should be seen as even more 'useless' than my mission to cure the world of quirks."

     You rest your hand on your forehead, then dragged it down your face as you deflated into your pillow. "Ffffff.... Come here."
   "Why?"
     "Just do it."

     Kai scooted closer, body turned to you fully as he sat there on his knees. You reached out limply and touched your fingers to the right side of his chest. He glared down at your hand. "What are you-?"

     "That's where your heart is, right?"

     "Uhhh, yeah..?"

     "That's the real disease we should be worried about." You interrupted his interrupting. "I don't remember our conversation as well as you seem to, but I do remember comparing quirks to tools... And just like with tools, it all depends on how we choose to use them.. Take your quirk for example. You can just as easily heal someone of all their ailments as you can kill them. It's like the difference between using a knife to cut food or stab someone..." Your arm dropped all lazy-like, your cheek squishing into the pillow. "That's why I never considered someone's quirk the core of the problem.. the true culprit is the soul of the one who wields it. Yes, our world is dying, and yes, there is little we can do about it, but..."

     You picked up your limp hand and placed it on the young man's hair. His eyes widened and his body stiffened a little, but his eyes remained on the ground, surprisingly allowing your hand to remain. "I like to imagine myself on a sinking ship full of people who can't seem to find the rafts..." You started to pet his shaggy hair a little with your thumb. "I can't do anything to fix the ship, pick it up out of the water, or somehow hold the thing together.. but I can, at the very least, try to guide as many people to safety as possible." Your hand playfully rubbed the man's chocolate hair, since this would probably be the only chance you got to touch it, and retracted your arms both back into the blanket. You quickly laid fully on your side facing him while pulling the blanket up to your chin. "Stop trying to fix the boat already... If you don't have the strength or desire to help anyone else, then just save yourself. It would be better than turning your problems into everyone else's and only making things worse." You then made a grumpy sound as you rolled over, facing the already sleeping Himiko. "Now leave me alone.. I'm tired too."

...

     Kai wasn't tired like you. At least not anymore. Suddenly, his mind was full of intrigue and questions. Where did this worldwide come from?? How were the two of you two different yet so similar?? Did you seriously spit all of that out while only half asleep?! Words that would completely dismantle, or at least challenge, his line of thinking for the past decades??

     One would think such a thing would anger him, but.. he had so many questions. There was a part of him that simply wanted to know more. Like how your line of thinking even came about, why it was so different from most, and the intriguing way in which you were able to articulate your thoughts using simple scenarios and comparisons. He always knew you had an uncanny, rarely tapped wisdom beyond your years, but it wasn't until now that your words actually piqued his interest.

     For the first time, he actually wanted to talk to you about more than just work, missions, and chores.

     He actually wanted to see how you saw the world.

     ...Too bad you were too sleepy to let him pick your brain any longer.

     After a moment of staring at the back of your head, Kai stood up and whispered to see if you were still awake. "(Y/n)... (Y/n)..?" He leaned over you, placing a hand gently on your shoulder. "I've been meaning to tell you something for a while now."

     "Wwhhat?" You grumbled.

     "Listen, (Y/n).. I know apologies and promises are pointless to you, but I broke an old promise of mine and I'm sorry... Even after you helped me, I did exactly what I said I wouldn't do and erased your quirk... And though your quirk is back, I've noticed your trust in me isn't what it used to be..." His hand slid off of you. "This time, I promise for good that I'll never betray you, even if it means I'll loose something in return... I should know more than anyone the value of a safe haven in a world that's shown you nothing but hostility.. I'm sorry I took that away from you. It won't happen again."

     "Tuhh.. like I care." You tugged the blanket over the side of your face.

     "...If you're anything like how I was as a kid -- I remember that look in your eyes after you first got here; it was unmistakably-so like my own -- then I know that isn't true....."

     "..Meh... You weren't the first to betray me... You weren't the last... Even just the other day, I was betrayed yet again by someone I hoped I could trust... Oh well. I've come to expect that by now."

     "I'm...sorry to hear that.." He had even more questions now. Punks to put on a list. But, clearly you weren't going to tell him any more. At least not right now. "Goodnight, (Y/n)."

     He turned and left. You laid there silently, ignoring him until he was gone. Then, after you heard the tap of the door closing and the darkness settled in after, you finally whispered. "...Night."

---------------

     It was hard to express your excitement after the first year of UA highschool finally came to an end! No, seriously, it was like you had a few wires cut or something, because something was wrong with your expressing of positive emotions!!

     Maybe that had a lot to do with the stress you were under, but it could also simply be because you found no easy ways to show joy that didn't involve squeezing everyone to death and or breaking the ✨cool girl✨ act you had built for yourself. Okay, so maybe there were a lot of really good reasons.

     Tenko, on the other hand, hadn't put himself in a box of emotional segregation same as you! And boy he was hyped! He knew right away that he wanted to celebrate with something big! Shocking all of you, this was where Iguchi recommended a trip somewhere you hadn't gone all year. For you, perhaps even ever.

    🎉 The zoo.🎉

---------------

     With some sort of ritualistic mindset, you three decided to wear your UA uniforms one last time while on this zoo trip -- like a bunch of preschoolers. It was cute but also daunting, considering how much you would be standing out.

     Oh well. You got tickets, snacks, and raced toward the front gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

     You stopped, physically pulling Tenko back by the collar of his shirt while glaring ahead. Tenny choked and stumbled back. Your treatment of the poor boy did not help any to ease the death glare sent by none other than your new "love rival." One which, on your end was platonic, on his end clearly wasn't. You were talking about Hokusei, or "Hoku" as he more recently started asking his classmates to call him by. Hokusei was wearing his uniform too and appeared to be waiting, meaning he had to be in on the plan.

     Releasing Tenny's shirt, you leaned forward to whisper/snarl in your friend's ear. "Tenny, why did you invite him to join us?"

     "I invited everyone in our class!" Tenko squeaked back. "M-most of them had plans already, though!" Your eyes narrowed even further. Hokusei across the crowd copied this notion. Your glares were stopped only by Tenko elbowing you harshly. "Promise me you'll get along?"

     "You know by now I never make promises I know I can't keep." You earned another nudge for that. "I won't fight him this time, if that's what you want."

     "Hhhh, good enough I guess." Tenko let you be, dashing ahead to catch up with the students already waiting at the gate. Hokusei was the tallest of them and therefore the easiest to spot, but a few other students such as Chikara, Kobayashi, and Tezuka were there as well. After checking in, everyone waited a little longer for the last member to arrive huffing and puffing from running almost the whole way: Moritsuka. Despite being so reserved, the antler guy had actually grown rather close -- to Tenko and Iguchi mainly -- on account of being a gamer himself. Most of their interactions were strictly online, however. And since you started favoring sleep over gaming, you never really formed a friendship with the guy. But, he was pretty chill. All of them were, save for the one.

     As everyone entered the gate, Iguchi caught on to your off-standing attitude to that one particular student, to which he stood on his toes while leaning in to see what was up.

     "What did you guys even fight about?" He whispered. As you walked side by side, you stared ahead at the back of Hokusei's head, who had somehow managed to worm his way to the front of the group up beside Tenko. He turned his head swiftly after managing the post for no reason other than to shoot you a cheeky grin. Critical hit. Iguchi had to physically pull your arm back from marching-on up there to start another fight. "What is the matter with you??"

     "That guy has weird vibes, okay??" You hissed. Whisper shouting, "He's got one Hell of an attitude and called me a manipulative b#### for trying to protect Tenny! Said he was going to take Tenko away from us!" Though you added the 'us' just to get Iguchi on your side easier, there was a part of you that assumed Hoku would target anyone who got in his way. Iguchi didn't need any more convincing, joining you now in the scowling at your newfound, joint rival.

     Thankfully, Hoku's presence didn't ruin everyone's fun. You all still enjoyed getting jump-scared by bats in the cave, hollering back at the monkeys, and searching for a sloth in the massive jungle exhibit. The only times when your passive-aggressive rivalry took center stage were in the smaller things. For instance, Hokusei kept getting the names of fish wrong, and instead of just ignoring it like you usually did, you made sure to correct him each and every time. It was like a competition to see who could stand beside Tenko the longest, which was a game all on its own thanks to how spontaneously the boy bounced around. And of course you simply can't ignore all the times you would argue about what to see next, who had the better sense of direction, and who out of the two were more trustworthy. All of these moments sprinkled throughout and in such a subtle way that the only ones who picked up on it were those who already knew what was going on. Iguchi mostly just played a supporting role, which, in one instance, accidentally worked against you.

     You stepped in front of your rival. "No, the meerkats are clearly this way. Maps aren't that hard to read, man." You stubbornly pointed out. Didn't help anyone that the old sign-map here was terribly sun bleached and hard to read.

     Hokusei shoved you aside, taking front stage again. "Nah nah nah, the map's a bit old, but it clearly says the African section's over here." You were already shoving against him before he could finish. He wasn't going to let you push him around anytime soon. The two of you were practically wrestling when Iguchi jumped in, targeting Hoku and pulling him off by the hair.

     "Just give it up, Hoku, you know (Y/n)'s right! We can barely even see that half of the map! You just want to argue for the sake of arguing!"

     "Ack!" Hokusei grabbed Iguchi's wrists. "Let go of me!"

     "Guys, stop!" Tenko, who had just been going with the flow for the longest time, finally jumped in and pried everyone apart from each other before things evolved into a legitimate fight. He then wedged himself between Hoku and his friends. "Hoku's just trying to help out! Can't you two forgive him for the dare and move on?!" Your and Iguchi's eyes widened. Not only was he taking the enemy's side, but he was even going as far to call him by his preferred nickname too! You glared as Hoku blushed by how close Tenko was to him, back practically brushing against his chest. You and Iguchi, seeing the error in your plan, dipped your chins sorrowfully. Tenko shook his head though he'd just finished scolding his two children. He then turned some, looking up at Hoku's face. Hokusei hid the blush asap as the two made eye contact. "Sorry about that. They're a little too attached is all. It's just been the three of us for so long!" Tenko laughed to help diffuse the situation even more. He was still so terribly close to the classmate who was secretly enjoying every second of it. "Let's go the way you said, hm? Maybe all they need is for you to prove to them that you're a helpful friend too!" Poor Tenny had no idea what was really going on.

     "Oh! Um.. sure. This way." Hokusei led the way.

. . .

     Turned out he was right. -_-

---------------

     It was a quaint bamboo forest with trails of wooden bridges built through it. Such a beautiful place. The tension in the air between everyone had mostly rubbed off by now. Now, the students were all watching the ground below for the pandas said to be wandering around somewhere.

     "Hey-hey, guys! I think I see one!" Tenko leaned over the railing. You tugged his shirt back when it looked like he might lose his balance and fall off. He didn't even glance back to see who had done it. He automatically knew it had to be you. "Thanks, (Y/n), but I'm fine." While he squinted through the bamboo, you walked up beside him and leaned your elbows on the wooden railing as well.

     "Can we talk about something in private?"

     Agitated, "If it's about Hoku, no."

      "It's not."

     "Promise?"

     Chuckling, "Isn't my word good enough of a promise??"

     "Hhh, fine. Just one second." He then confirmed what he saw was indeed not a panda. Disappointed but contented, the teen waved to the others briefly, assuring that the two of you were just going to go on a walk. You set down the trail of bridges alone, taking a especially quiet rout with little to no other people on it. "So what's up?"

    You couldn't exactly come clean about everything going on in your life, so you'd have to weave in a lot of ambiguity and lies in with these truths.

     "Okay, so!.. Um, there are these people I've been, um, training with after school."

     "Izuku and his friend?"

     "Nono, other people. Anyways! These people were already sort of divided, you know? They have this one member who's been more of the troublemaker. Doesn't exactly have the best reputation, but he's been really nice to me!"

     Tenko rose a suspicious brow. "Does he want to go out with you or something?"

     "Oh, definitely not! If anything, he sees me as more of a daughter to him!"

     "Ah. Still weird. You should probably train with Iguchi and I instead."

     "Well, I've technically known these guys for a few years now.. Anywho. Point is.." Gahh, how were you even going to word this?! "Um.. The group has been planning to kick out the troublemaker. I was included in helping them plan it, until... Well, I overheard a couple of them plotting to kick me out too, just because of my association to the guy."

     "Why? What has the guy even done? Is he a villain??"

     "Eh, borderline villain, I guess." You shrugged. Staring ahead, you waited for Tenko to speak, but no sounds came. Finally, you looked down to the boy at your left, who was presently scowling up at you. "What?!"

     "As if your dad's influence isn't bad enough. You really shouldn't be hanging out with villains. What if they turn you into one?? Remember our promise?"

     "Don't worry, Tenny, I don't plan on switching to the dark side anytime soon. It's just...." Sighing, you turned your head away and rubbed the back of your neck. "..It's really complicated, okay..? The man I could consider my father figure, well.. well, he's the one least likely to turn on me. He's... He's been so kind to me for as long as I've known him." Aside from that one hiccup of his. "And, well, as nice as the rest of the guys are, they only really care about keeping reputation and following the rules, which has led to them backstabbing me a few times already. But, I keep going back to them. Because it's 'the right thing to do.' ... I was wondering if you could give me some advice is all. It's a really prickly situation, and I know your moral compass is better than mine." You ended with a laugh and a shrug.

     Tenko rubbed his chin. "Hmmm, sounds to me like the best option would be to back out from both sides. Just do your own thing instead."

     A dead-inside wheeze. "Hhhhh.." Vigilantism wasn't exactly your safest bet. "That would land me with more enemies than I can afford to deal with. I need to choose at least one side. So, what'll it be then? The back stabbing good guys, or the reliant bad guy?"

     Tenko whined, scratching all his fingers through his hair. "Eugh, do you really need to pick one?" You nodded. "Hmmf. Fine then. Thinking strategically, your best choice would probably be with the majority. That way, you would have fewer enemies at the very least. Morally, guess I'd have to go with the good guy side on this one too. Maybe just try talking to them about your struggles? Try to prevent it from happening again? I dunno. If they're so strict about rules, maybe it would be a good idea to actually follow the rules~!"

     Your arms dropped, walking like a dinosaur. "Hhhh, knew you'd say that." It was your best option at the end of the day. Teaming with the heroes, even if it meant getting arrested, would probably be better than siding with your dad and letting his schemes continue. Not to mention being a fugitive for the rest of your long life certainly wouldn't be any fun. ... Hhhh, there was a point in which the correct choice was simply.. the most obvious one. "...Thanks, Tenny.."

     He reached out and rubbed your back. Ill practiced, but at least it let you know he was there and was genuinely concerned for you.

     After a moment of setting into your mind what you had to do, you strode forward, leading Tenny back toward the main trail.

     So what if it was a trap? You were going to do the right thing, even if it killed you.

     ...But what was the right thing?
          You couldn't say for sure.

---------------

     A ray of potential hope shined down on you from the leader of Humarise himself. Flect reached out to you personally, saying he wanted to have his quirk removed asap. You obliged happily, taking the flights needed and arriving at their central base for a private visit.

     Unlike before, there was hardly a staff member here. They were all instead working abroad. You met Mr. Flect, only a few others there to witness. The man appeared more solemn than before. Clearly, he had spent a lot of time reflecting on this decision of his. His mind was made up, however. And you respected that.

     "One thing before I attempt to take your quirk."

     "It's not going to work, is it?"

     "Possibly, but... Promise me you won't take your own life after losing your quirk." The man stepped back, appalled, terrified as to how you could even know his deeper struggles. The fact that he indeed had tried several times to take his own life.. but failed. "Don't feel pressured to retain your position either. I get it.. You just want to live a normal life." You reached out your hand, flat and open for him to take. "If this works, you are free to do whatever you want."

     Flect twitched his mustache, appalled. "I have no intention to leave my post and let Humarise wither away."

     You chuckled. "Of course. Just putting it out there."

     "And what if I did? Were you going to offer to take my position instead?"

     You waved your hands in front to yourself. "Certainly not. I am too young, and, I've never really been leader type."

     "Hm."

     "Shall we make the attempt?"

     "Hh, yes." You'd been able to drain people's quirks without making contact before, but your hand had to be really close in order to do so. You attempted several things. Spent almost an hour straight standing around, brainstorming and trying out different solutions. But, unfortunately, nothing wound up working. After this long, embarrassing run of tries, Mr. Flect dismissed you, having to accept that this quirk was his burden to bear.

     You left in a rather sour mood. It wasn't often that you failed this miserably. Not only could you not help another villain, but you couldn't obtain his OP quirk either!

     Oh well... Guess you'd have to make-due without. At least until a solution of sorts was found.

---------------

     The closer you got to the date, the harder it was to imagine yourself getting rid of him. Kurogiri, though replaceable in your room for a mere houseplant, indeed still had a personality and mind of his own. He was a Nomu, yes, but somehow he managed to keep a whole lot more of his personality compared to most other Nomu the doctor made. Plus, he was loyal almost to a fault. And he was always there for you. You could rely on him to have your back and cover for your weaknesses. Problem was he was equally loyal to your dad and Garaki, making him an enemy as well.

     Months ago, you had started showing a casual sort of interest in how quirk. Innocently asking questions about how it functioned, how he controlled it, and what it was like using it. You were thankful the Nomu never became suspicious of you; never guessing the nature behind your curiosity. For that, you had a pretty good grasp on how to use it yourself by the time...

     By the time that day finally did come.

---------------

     The train vibrated under your feet as it moved along. You weren't doing anything special. Just decided to go for a walk during the usual school hours since your days were so much calmer now. So little things left to do but train for next year.

     It was midday. You'd just stopped by a bakery to buy some fresh, quality bread, now munching through the crunchy outsides before the loaf has a chance to cool. You stood in the train car, standing with your free hand holding the railing since it was pretty full in here.

Crunch-munch-munch-crunch-munch-munch

Vzzzzzz-- vzzzzzzz

     The phone in your pocket started buzzing. You released the metal bar to grab the phone instead.  You accepted the call after confirming it wasn't Spam. On the contrary. It was everyone's favorite hero. You held the phone to your ear and swallowed the mouthful of bread. "Ayo, what's up?! Been a while, hasn't it?" You faked a cheery/cool tone. Sounded like there was a bit of wind coming on the other end. Not as much as if he was flying, but wherever he was was definitely exposed to the elements.

     Hawks mimicked your casual yet cheery tone. ""Yeah, man! I've been super busy lately if you haven't noticed.""

     "Mhm," you took in another mouthful of bread, not caring that you sounded like a slob for talking with your mouth full. "I can imagine! You're breaking records with how fast you've been rising in ranks!"

     ""Ahah! It's true. Just like you said I would be, I really am amazing~""

     "Psh. At least pretend to be humble about it."

     ""-You're able to set everything up for the big event tonight, right?""

     You froze up on the spot. For some reason, it took you a second to consider. Your heart ramped-up into a race. The thought that NOW was the time for all these scary decisions to be made. It caught you off guard. "..Um, yeah!" You played it off casually. "Yeah, I should have everything ready by sundown. You bringing the guests?"

     ""Oh yeah. They'll all be there! Can't make the same mistake again by only inviting the big guy.""

     "Mhm.." Sweat was starting to stick to your forehead. Good thing you were having this conversation over the phone. You closed your eyes and forced a smile. "Well then! Call me back if plans change. I'll make sure the old man's there and prepared for the event!"

     ""Hm..."" Sounded like Hawks was smiling a little too. ""Thanks. That should be good enough. Oh... And Eraserhead said you did well last year. You're allowed to watch if you like.""

     "Thanks." You quickly hung up.

...

     You could barely breathe.

     That would have been a beloved compliment... if not for your knowledge of the truth. They were all involved in this. All of them. Every. Single. One.

     You could do nothing but accept that this night wasn't going to end well for you. No matter what you did.

---------------

     You needed a nap. A quick nap to prepare you for this fight. To give your mind a little rest and reset.

     It worked. By the time you woke up, you were set in your decision. There was no turning back from this point.

     "Yeah, Dad, I'm going to be busy tonight. Mind feeding Machia for me?"

     ""Sure thing.""

     "Oh, and, Dad?"

     ""Yeah?""

     "I've made my decision... I am your enemy."

     ""...I see--"" You hung up on him as well, preparing yourself by warming up on your fighting techniques and a few quirks you haven't used in a while. Also stalked up on muscle by downing plenty of sugar beforehand.

     Finally, as the sun was setting, it was go time. You put on some wireless headphones and set that old English rock music on blast.

(Idk listen to this if you can't think of anything ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ )

     "Kurogiri." You barged into your own room. The Nomu's misty face shifted your way.

     "Yes? Ag-" With your right hand you grabbed him by the throat, your other his forehead. The Nomu struggled as you drained his quirk. But, he lost, leaving a bright blue haired corpse on the ground. You stepped over him and created a portal before you and strode through it. It took a few tries to get the quirk's basic functions right, but the moment you had it down, you used it to travel across the world to your father's house.

     In his office, you used your dad's own computer to track down Dr. Garaki. You found the Doctor prepping some new experiments, caught him, and dragged him through another portal. In his place you left Oboro's body for the scientist to clean up later. Still dragging the pleading doctor around, you created one last portal in your room and threw him through it. You stepped through and stomped the wailing man into the gravel. Gosh were you glad you had these headphones on. His screeching was so annoying.

     "Please! Please! I thought we made a deal! I- I- I make you stronger and you let me live! You- you need me still!--"

     "(Y/n)...?" Your father stood up from crouching near the feasting animorph. In a way, it appeared as though he was and wasn't expecting this at the same time.

     You sighed, forcing yourself to stare your old man in the eyes. Foot still holding the doctor down, you pried off your headphones and tossed them aside. Then you pulled a band from your pocket and used it to tie your hair up. The entire time you watched your dad with strict, stern eyes.

     "...M sorry, Dad." A hint of sympathy shined through the glare. "But justice exists outside of Hell too."

     Perfectly on cue, the heroes arrived just then, surrounding both you and your father. All of the top heroes, specifically those of the fighting kind. Your eyes watered, sparkling in the little light.

     This was it. The moment you finally put the big bad behind bars.

     If that meant you were dragged down into Hell along with him... So be it.

     It's what you get for breaking your promise to Tenko. Back then.. when you were too naive to think becoming a villain was a completely voluntary act. When you thought you had a choice.

     Choice was but an illusion at the end of the day. You tried...and failed to become a hero.