Aemond was struggling and quite frankly wrestling with the sadness that had overtaken him after Elyana left him that day in his chambers. He did not know how to heal the profound pain that overtook his heart. And he was beating himself over it. He should have never fallen for her. But he did. He did fall for her. He did love her.

Sometimes at night he could feel her breathing near him, sometimes he felt her running through his veins. At night he was desperate to sleep, because he dreamed of her. And during the day, she was all he thought about. He sometimes felt her next to him, but she wasn't there.

He did not know how to settle and calm down the obsession that had overtaken him. He did not know how to explain to his soul that she had left and that she was not coming back to him for now. He felt he was going crazy. 

A week since she left. An entire week since he broke her heart and shattered her, and he still did not understand why he said what he said.

Five maids came and went. Most of them would leave his chambers crying after about two hours, and the others he would fire because they were too meek and dutiful.

He did not want other maids, he wanted her. His mother could send a hundred girls to his chambers, and not one of them came close to her. Not because she was good at her job, but because he loved her. And every girl that came through that door only served to remind him that she wasn't there. That he lost her.

She no longer served him, now she served Helaena. To him that felt like torture. She was so close yet so far. Aemond had not seen her since the day she left him. He tried to wait for her outside of Helaena's chambers multiple times, but to no avail. Elyana was a ghost. He never saw her.

He looked for her through the Keep every day, but he could never find her.

The only way he knew of her, was when Aegon would gloat to him about it. 'Elyana poured me wine today.' Aegon's tauntings drove Aemond to insanity. It made him seethe when he thought of his Elyana serving Aegon. And he knew that his brother was probably reveling in the fact that she was now Helaena's servant.

His mother berated him for hours on end when she learned of her quitting. Alicent had been generous to her by letting her stay in the castle serving Helaena after everything. Alicent blamed Aemond for corrupting an innocent maiden, and he blamed himself too.

"Lady Maris Baratheon has just turned eight and ten. We just got word from Lord Borros." Otto Hightower spoke, bringing Aemond back from his mind.

The prince mulled his roast duck over with his fork, pressed lips and one eye focused on his meal in front of him.

"That is great. Make sure to send the Baratheons my felicitations." Aemond spoke plainly and brought his fork to his mouth, taking a small bite from his food. He could care less about any woman's nameday.

"She is of your age now, and it is quite a fair age for marriage. Do you not agree, son?" Alicent wondered as she stared at him intently, drinking from her goblet of wine.

"Perhaps it is. I am sure Lady Maris will find a formidable match for herself." Aemond hummed, clearly uninterested in the topic at hand. Ever since Elyana left his service, his mother had began pressuring him harder to make a match for himself.

"Mayhaps it would be wise for us to invite the girl to the Keep, to be courted by yourself. I have heard she is a very comely girl, finest of all Baratheon girls." Alicent pressed, and Aemond wanted nothing more than to grab the fork and stab his remaining eye out.

"A Baratheon..." Aemond would rather fling himself off Vhagar than marry Maris Baratheon.

"Indeed. It is imperative that you marry soon, Aemond. Your marriage will prove detrimental for the future of House Targaryen." Otto pressed, and Aemond thought that a bit dramatic to say the least.

Aegon laughed as he drank from his goblet, and this made Aemond snarl and shoot a deathly glare his way. Aegon didn't seize his laughing, and he smirked, "My brother misses his little milk slut, grandsire."

Alicent gasped at Aegon's crude words, and Aemond slammed his fist on the table. He stood up and glared at Aegon fiercely, his hands itching to be wrapped around his neck. "Aegon! Go to your chambers! Now!" Alicent ordered angrily, which made him frown.

"What?! I did not say anything wrong! It'sthe truth!" Aegon contested like a child. Which is what he was, a petulant man child.

"Go!" Alicent ordered her eldest out of the Dining Hall. "Unfair! I've yet to finish my meal!" Aegon contested angrily, which made Aemond smirk.

"Go, brother. The Queen commands it." Aemond taunted his older brother, which made Aegon glare at him. "Shut up, you one-eyed twat." Aegon insulted his brother, which made Aemond roll his one eye at the overused insult.

"Real clever, you little drunken bastard cu-" Alicent cut Aemond's insult off.

"Go to your rooms, Aegon!" Alicent commanded which made Aegon scoff, but still he stood up from his seat and left the Dining Hall abruptly. Aemond smirked to himself and sat back down to finish his meal.

"And wipe that smirk off your face," Alicent ordered her younger son. "We are selecting a lady for you to court right now." Aemond scowled at the words.

No matter. He was hoping for the plan he had in motion to work and get him out of this.

And to also get him his lover back.

-

"Would you please help the children to bed, Elyana? Dyana is already changing them." Helaena said quietly as soon as she got back from dinner with her family. Elyana nodded her head politely. "Of course, princess."

Elyana moved about Princess Helaena's parlor, cleaning the kid's toys and dusting away any dust that might have collected in the day. She could feel the princess' eyes on her as she moved about the parlor, but Elyana said nothing. She had gotten accustomed to Helaena's peculiar ways.

"I am sorry I am not my brother." Elyana was taken off guard when she heard Helaena's meek voice speak. And so she turned to the princess, confusion drawn upon her face.

"What?" Elyana asked as Helaena simply stared at her with a stoic expression on her face. "I am sorry I am not Aemond. I am sure you would prefer to still be in his service."

Elyana gritted her teeth together at the mention of his name. For an entire week she had avoided him, avoided hearing his name, avoided thinking of him, and now here was the princess speaking to her about him. Elyana almost bursted out in laughter at this sick cruel joke the Gods were playing on her. Because this all just had to be a sick and twisted fucking joke.

She almost wanted to cuss Princess Helaena out for reminding her of what happened. But the look on the princess' face let Elyana know that she did not mean any harm.

"I-I would much rather be here, princess." Elyana answered, and she wasn't sure if that was the truth or not.

"My brother wishes you weren't here. He wishes you were with him." The words made Elyana seethe. Then maybe he should not have been so terribly awful to her.

"With all due respect, princess, your brother hurt me quite a lot. I do not ever wish to see him, or be at his service ever again." Elyana responded, her tone growing just a tad bit angry.

"Hmm... yes. I guess that is what dragons do after all. Destroy, if they are not tamed of course." Helaena answered ever so meekly.

"Maybe. I do not know anything about dragons." Elyana smiled, trying to liven the mood between the two.

"Maybe you'll have one of your own soon." Helaena spoke with a small smile, which made Elyana frown at the wild claim. Elyana was not a Targaryen, how would she ever bond with a dragon?

"I am not of your kin, princess. I can not claim a dragon, yet I appreaciate the faith you put in me." Elyana laughed as she continued sorting the kids' toys that were scattered around the parlor.

"Perhaps that is true. No matter. When Dyana gets back, please put the kids to bed along with her. Then the both of you can be dismissed." Helaena spoke softly and then disappeared into her bedchamber.

So Elyana did just that. She awaited for Dyana to change the twins and Maelor and then the pair of them brought them to the nursery. Elyana held Jaehaera whilst Dyana held Jaehaerys and Maelor. "Papa!" Jaehaerys clapped as Dyana set him down on his cot.

"Your papa is not near, sweet thing. Perhaps tomorrow he will come and play with you." Dyana smiled and then moved to set Maelor down. Elyana smiled slightly at Dyana's softness, and for the most part she was glad that she was the one that she shared her duties with.

Dyana was a small frail girl, quiet and kind. Elyana liked her quite a lot, mainly because Dyana was one of the few people that did not treat Elyana like a nuisance.

Ever since the news of Elyana's sudden relocation spread through the halls of the Keep, every single servant and guard looked at her with a scrunched up nose. They judged her, and they spoke ill of her. They knew she was tainted, and they lynched her for it. Of course, it was just rumors because nothing had been confirmed. But that didn't mean that it hurt any less.

To be looked at with disgust and disdain was hurtful, yet she endured it because she willingly danced with the devil. It hurt her, when girls fled in the opposite direction because allegedly Elyana had fucked the cruel prince. And it hurt her when Darra became one of those girls.

So she liked Dyana. Because she was kind, and she didn't care about the reason as to why Elyana had been relocated.

Elyana set Jaehaera down and gave the small unsuspecting girl a smile. Elyana was not much fond of children, but the royal babies were rather cute.

"Are we all done?" Dyana asked. Elyana gave her a nod.

"The princess said we could be dismissed as soon as we finished." Elyana informed Dyana, who smiled and yawned. "I am quite starved." Dyana announced as the both of them exited the kid's nursery.

"I am too." Elyana told her as the pair walked together. "Would you like to get something from the kitchens?" Dyana asked, and Elyana's heart jumped in joy at the invitation. She had been very lonely since everything went down.

"Of course... I would really like that." Elyana smiled at her, and even if they walked in silence to the kitchens , she still felt the happiest she had been since everything that happened.

"Oh look! There's cheese and stew left for us." Dyana pointed when they reached the servant kitchens. Elyana and Dyana each served themselves a plate and then sat down in a wooden table that was meant for castle workers to eat in.

"My sister would die if she saw how much cheese we throw out at the end of the day." Dyana spoke as she took a bite from the manchego that was set out for the servants.

"You've a sister?" Elyana asked as she dug into her stew. It was rather bland, but she did not complain. She was lucky the Queen even let her stay there.

"Younger. She has just turned ten. Hopefully soon she can come and work in the castle too." Dyana said softly. "Is she with your parents?" Elyana asked as she looked at Dyana with a soft expression.

"Oh... no. My parents are deceased, since I was just a girl. She stays with a candlemaker from the city, he was a friend of my father's. He lets her stay until she is grown enough to find work here with me." Dyana explained, and the reality of the young maid's life broke Elyana's heart.

"I am sorry about your parents. Truly. I know what it is like to lose someone close to you." Elyana sympathized whilst Dyana gave her a small smile and a nod.

"Thank you, Elyana. You are very sweet." The comment made Elyana smile widely. It felt nice to talk to someone without them thinking her a whore.

Dyana finished her food first, seemingly she was very hungry. "Do you want me to wait for you?" She asked as she dropped her dish on the sink for the kitchen sevants to clean.

"Oh no, you can go. I always take my time eating." Elyana said as Dyana nodded her head and smiled. "Alright. I will see you on the morrow." She said and left Elyana alone in the servant kitchens.

Elyana ate her food quietly and just when  she was about to finish her stew, an armored knight came into the kitchen. Her heart stopped when her eyes met those brown eyes she knew so well.

Erryk stopped walking as he noticed her sitting there, but ultimately moved to the cauldron and served himself some food. Elyana watched him intently, almost praying in her mind for him to say something to her. To acknowledge her.

He did not. He ate standing in the corner, his eyes not once rising to meet hers again. She swallowed hard and resumed eating. Somehow she could feel him staring, but whenever she turned to meet his eyes, he was already looking away from her.

"Why?" Elyana stopped her chewing when she heard Erryk's question. The kitchens became silent as Elyana let the question linger for a few seconds in the air.

"Why did you do this? I think really 'why' is the only question I have. Why him? Why do this? Why break my heart?" His voice spoke up again, and she gulped as she turned to face him.

"I've been thinking about that too." She confessed as she looked at him. She took a deep breath and darted her eyes away from his.

"I hated him for the longest time. Really hated him. Did you know my first week in the castle he threatened me with his sword? Threatened to take my tongue for rolling my eyes at his absurd requests..." That all seemed so long ago.

"But then... the attention he gave me. I guess it felt good to know a prince wanted me..." She confessed. "I felt so worthless after being knocked down from my standing that I guess... I guess I found solace in knowing someone so high could ever want me..." Elyana was being truthful.

"It felt good... it just felt good taming someone like Aemond Targaryen." She chuckled soon after her words left her mouth.

"Taming is a loose term, I guess. I never really tamed him." She said, and she could feel the pain seeping into her body effortlessly.

"We could have had something so great. And you felt good because a depraved man gave you attention? You should have felt good when I offered to give up my titles for you!" Erryk was baffled at her words. She didn't blame him. She was baffled at herself too.

"I know that, Erryk! I wanted to love you! I wanted you. I swear it!" Elyana answered, standing from her seat to truly face him.

"But you wanted to be a prince's whore more! Fuck." Erryk slammed his plate on the sink, facing away from her and taking deep calming breaths.

"I stood outside his chambers while he used your body. And then you would come out as if nothing! Do you know how it feels? To love someone and have them betray you like that?" Erryk whispered, his knuckles turning white from gripping the sink so hard.

She remained quiet. She did not know what to tell him to make him feel better. "How can you love him? He is cruel, vicious, calculating, and manipulative... How?" He asked, his tone dead and serious.

"Maybe..." She turned her face so she could wipe her tears without him noticing.

"Maybe him and I..." She didn't want to say it.

"I think he fed something inside me. Something that I didn't know existed... I think... I think I fell in love with the feeling that came along with being with him."

-

Author's note:

Welp!!! That last line tells you all a lot about her character, and I hope you guys understand it.

I ammmm sooooo grateful for the overwhelming support this story has gotten!!!!!!!! I will never be able to thank yall enough!

If you guys like my writing, I have two other Aemond fics on ny profile you guys can check out!

Thank you all sooooo much x