Napasentido na lang ako ng marinig ko ang malakas na iyak ni Hansel. Nandito kami ngayon sa dentist at kailangang ipabunot yung ngipin niya dahil ilang araw na itong sumasakit at namamaga. He even had a fever last night. 

And yeah, hindi ko pinatulog kagabi sina Yasha at Yrew sa sobrang nerbyos ko.

Iniwan ko muna si Gretel kina Mommy... 

"Oh God! Are you okay baby?" Pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong umiyak nung makita ko ang pamumugto ng mga mata ng anak ko. Sumisinok-sinok pa siya dahil sa sobrang pag-iyak. 

"Ssshhh it's okay now. Mommy's here." I kissed his temple habang nakakandong siya sakin at nakayakap. Parang hinang-hina ito sa pag-iyak habang nireresetahan kami ng dentist ng mga pain killers. 

"Is he okay now, Doc?" I asked him. He's our family dentist kaya kilala ko na siya at alam kong mapagkakatiwalaan ko siya. 

"Yes, just follow these post-procedure care. Call me if he experiences severe swelling or fever." He said. Nakahinga naman ako ng maluwag as I rubbed Hansel's back gently. Buhat-buhat ko siyang lumabas ng Dental Clinic dahil nanghihina pa ito sa pag-iyak. 

"No more chocolates and candies for now Hansel." I told him. He nodded weakly as he wrapped his little arms around my nape. Muli kong hinalikan ang tuktok ng ulo ng ng anak ko as I hugged him tighter. It was just a tooth extraction but hearing him scream in pain and fear like that para na akong aatakihin sa puso. 

"I am fine now Mommy, you can put me down." He said after namin maglakad-lakad saglit para pahupain ang iyak. 

"No, it's okay. I still want to hug my baby boy." Kahit humupa na yung iyak niya hindi pa rin nawawala yung nerbyos ko kanina. Narinig ko ang pagtunog ng phone ko sa bulsa ko kaya binaba ko muna si Hansel sa isang bench and held his hand. 

Ugali pa naman nito ang magtatakbo na lang bigla kapag hindi nahahawakan ng mahigpit. Minsan nga gusto ko na siyang itali sa kakulitan niya. 

"Just a minute sweetie, I'll just answer your Tita Vicky." I said habang hawak-hawak ko ang kamay niya. He just stared at me habang kausap ko si Vicky sa cellphone. Napapikit ako ng mariin when Hansel started singing loudly na para bang hindi na masakit ang ngipin niya.

"Hansel, I'm talking to your Tita Vicky. Tone dow a bit." I said. Ngumuso ito sakin at mangiyak-ngiyak na yumakap sa braso ko. 

"But I'm hungry mommy. Nangangayayat na ko..." He sniffed. 

"We will eat... I'll just---" Bigla na lang ulit ngumawa ng malakas si Hansel. Pero hindi ko naman mababaan ng telepono si Vicky dahil kanina ko pa hinihintay ang tawag niya.

"M-Maxene..." Napalingon ako sa tumawag ng pangalan ko. Nagpalipat-lipat ang tingin niya saming dalawa ni Hansel. Napatitig pa ko sa kanya ng matagal bago magsink in sa utak ko kung sino ang nasa harapan ko ngayon.

"Oh! Waldrin! Good timing, pakihawakan mo naman muna siya saglit. I just really need to finish this call." Nanlalaki ang mga mata nitong lumapit sakin at hinawakan sa braso si Hansel.

"Mommy, di mo na ko love? You're giving me to a stranger?" Iyak pa nito. 

"This is really urgent sweetie, go with Tito Waldrin muna, he's your Tito Paeng's brother." I said bago bumaling kay Waldrin. "Saglit lang talaga ito promise." I said bago ako lumayo ng kaunti sa kanila but near enough to watch them. 

Looking at those two. They really have a great resemblance, mukhang tama nga ang hinala ko.

W A L D R I N

"Your name is Waldrin po? Your name sounds trouble!" He sniffed as he wiped his tears with his shirt. Agad kong inilabas ko ang panyo ko and help him wipe his face. Nanginginig ang mga kamay kong nakahawak sa kanya, I even have to let go of him for a while to shake my hands at huminga ng malalim.

"W-What's your name?" I breathed. Titig na titig siya sa mukha ko. 

"Hansel." He said and softly blows his nose on my hanky. 

"W-Why did you call Maxene, Mommy?" I slightly clenched my jaw. I asked him the question that I already know the answer.

He frowned at me. "Obviously because she's my Mom!" But still, tumigil ang mundo ko sa sinabi niya. Bumaling ako sa direksyon ni Maxene na busy pa rin sa kausap nito sa telepono. 

"H-How old are you?" 

"Just turned 3." 

P-Possible ngang anak ko si Hansel? No! Definitely, he is my son! He resembles me so much! 

"Are you okay Tito? You look like crying, need your hanky back?" He offered me his hanky. Binitawan ko muna siya saglit dahil sa sobrang panginginig ng kamay ko. 

"N-No, what do you want to eat?" 

"I like ice cream a lot! Kaso I just had my tooth extracted, is it okay to eat ice cream?" He asked me innocently. I just feel like my heart is melting while staring at his face. 

His face, he resembles me so much. 

I cupped his face and gently massage his cheeks. He is my son, he is definitely my son! Geez! I am about to cry!!!

"It is advisable to eat ice cream after tooth extraction, come on I'll treat you." 

"YEHEY!!!" Muntikan na kaming matumba when he suddenly jumped on me. "Let's go!!!" He pointed at the wrong direction habang humahagikgik. My heart warmed upon seeing his happy face. 

"Magpaalam muna tayo sa Mommy mo." I told him. Naglakad kami papunta sa direksyon ni Maxene who looks terribly agitated. Bumaling siya samin and her expression immediately softens. 

"I'll treat him some ice cream." I said. Lumapit siya samin and held my arm to kiss Hansel on his lips. My heart twitched upon inhaling her scent. Still the same scent I love sniffing from her skin.

"Behave sweetie." She said bago siya bumaling sakin. "Saglit na lang ito." 

"It's okay. Take your time." I said. She smiled at me bago muling kausapin ang kausap niya sa telepono. God knows how much I wanted to wrap her in my arms right now. Pero pinipigilan ko pa ang sarili ko hangga't hindi pa niya ko naalala. I don't want to make everything more complicated on her. 

Her sweet smiles still makes my heart erratically. She still have the same effect on me--walang nagbago, walang nabawas, parang nadagdagan pa nga.

"Do you like my Mom? Why are you staring at her like that?" Hansel asked me. Hindi ko namalayang nakamasid pala siya sa bawat tingin ko kay Maxene.

"Your Mom's very pretty." I said bago ko ibigay sa kanya yung cup ng ice cream na binili ko sa kanya mula sa stall na hindi kalayuan sa pwesto ni Maxene. 

"Yes she is. But you can't like her. Tito Paeng said you're getting married." Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya.

"He told you that?"

"Tito Paeng and Mommy Shan always argue and I always hear your name. Then nabanggit niya one time that you're getting married already so there's nothing to worry about. I like you but I don't like you for Mom, you'll just hurt her."  He said innocently. That came from my son's mouth, can you just imagine how painful it is to hear those words from him? 

"I am not---" 

"I'm sorry medyo natagalan." Maxene approached us. Napatitig na lang ako sa kanya as I watch her wipe Hansel's face with wet tissue. My baby is such a grown woman now and an amazing mother. 

"Hey are you okay?" I felt her soft hand caressed my face dahil hindi ko namalayan ang pagpatak ng luha ko. I just can't still believe that she is really here in front of me with my son. All these years, akala ko hindi ko na muli siyang makikita at mahahawakan. I am breathing, I am living but I felt dead and empty inside. 

I held her hand and slightly squeezed it. "Sorry, marami lang akong iniisip." 

"Hindi mo kasama si Leanna?" Umigting ang panga ko sa tanong niya at bahagyang umiling.

"I need some time alone with myself para makapag-isip ako ng maayos." I looked straightly to her eyes. Why is she not looking at me like she used to? She's looking at me like I am just a friend. Where are those loving eyes that were just set for me? 

"I'm sorry, naabala ka ba namin?" 

"N-No." I didn't let go of her hand which seems like she doesn't mind. "Pwede ko kayong samahan if you want." I said. 

"Oh? Are you sure? Plano ko na rin sana kasing bumili ng mga gamit sa unit ko para hindi na ko laging nagtetake out or nagpapadeliver ng pagkain."

"Mommy I'm done." Hansel said. Kumuha ito ng wet tissues and wiped his lips. Napangiti na lang ako and tapped his head.

"Good boy..." I smiled at him.

"I'm a strong independent person po kasi." He uttered. Napansin ko naman ang pagsilay ng ngiti sa mga labi ni Maxene as she wipes our son's hands. 

What a great view... This is what I always wanted to see for the rest of my life.

M A X E N E 

"Is he heavy?" I asked Waldrin when he carried Hansel habang natutulog ito at nakaunan sa balikat niya. Tapos na naming iakyat ang mga gamit na binili namin. Wala si Marshan ngayon, may lakad siya with Darius, si Paeng naman nasa mansyon dahil dun bukas ang mga bata.

"No, it's okay." He smiled at me. 

"Pero andami mo ng binuhat pabalik-balik sa unit ko." 

"It's okay bab-- Maxene. Nag-elevator naman tayo at hindi naman ganun kabigat yung mga binitbit natin." Bumuntong hininga na lang ako as I followed him inside my room kung saan niya ipinahiga si Hansel.

"Would like to have dinner here?" I asked him. 

"I would love to, but I'm sure Marshan wouldn't want to see me here." He sighed. Napatango-tango na lang ako as I pressed my lips tightly. Hinatid ko na lang siya hanggang sa may pintuan. He was staring at me blankly at naramdaman ko naman ang kakaibang pag-iinit ng mga pisngi. 

"Thank you sa pagsama samin today." I smiled at him. May kung anong emosyong gumuhit sa mga mata niya, then he walks closer towards me. 

"Please let me do this..." 

Napasinghap ako when he pulled me on my waist and his lips crashed on mine. Something just exploded inside me. Hindi ko na rin namalayan ang pagbuhos ng mga luha ko kasabay ng pagbuhos ng sari-saring emosyon. 

It felt like I've been longing for his touch and kisses. I am answering his kisses like it is the right thing to do. Wala ng ibang pumasok sa isip ko kundi ang init na nararamdaman ko mula sa bisig niya. 

His heart racing inside his chest like mine.

My heart clenches as he let go of my mouth habang parehas kaming naghahabol ng hininga. He wiped my tears dry as he kissed my eyes. 

Suddenly, I felt so wrong. My conscience crept inside me. 

"You shouldn't have done that, ikakasal ka na at mag-kakaanak ka pa." I slightly pushed him away as I wiped my tears. Sumisikip ang dibdib ko and I already lost all my courage to look at him directly in the eyes.

He didn't answer me. Nakatayo lang siya sa harapan ko at nakatitig sakin. 

"How long do I need to wait for your memories to come back?" Napatingin ako sa kanya sa gulat sa tanong niya. He held my nape and kissed my forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." He said before letting me go. Tumalikod na siya at dirediretso ang lalakad papunta sa elevator. 

I think I just forgot how to breath.