#unedited

M A X E N E

"Ang pretty mo naman po!" Marshan said to Tita Clarisse. Nag-init ang puso ko ng makita ko ang ngiti niya kay Marshan. 

Ma, I will give Christine back to you soon.

"And cute niyo namang dalawa. Magkamukhang-magkamukha kayo." Tita Clarisse said to us. Pumasok na kami sa bahay nila at naabutan naman namin si Tito Christopher na pababa ng hagdan. 

"And this is my Daddy Christopher..." Pagpapakilala niya kay Marshan. Hindi na sumama samin si Yrew at Yasha dahil hindi pa naman daw sila ganun kaclose nina Christian. 

"Hello po! Ang gwapo niyo naman po!" Marshan said excitedly. Napatingin si Tito Christopher saming dalawa ni Marshan. 

"You must be Marshan? Maraming naikwekwento samin si Christian at Spencer about the both of you." He said nicely. Agad namang umasim ang mukha ni Marshan at bumaling sakin. She smiled sweetly at Tito Christopher para itago ang pagkairita sa narinig. 

"Magaganda naman po ba ang sinasabi nila?" She asked.

"Of course, as pretty as you." Tito Christopher chuckled. Namula naman si Marshan sa narinig na agad namang tinukso ni Waldrin. 

"Pretty as you? I bet hindi maganda ang mga sinasabi nila." Waldrin said. Agad na tumalas ang mga mata ni Marshan na bumaling kay Waldrin. 

"Eh di hindi rin maganda si Maxene ganun?!" 

"Of course not, my baby girl is the fairest of you all." Waldrin said at niyakap ako na may kasamang panggigigil. 

"Sa kwarto ko matutulog sina Raven at Waldrin, dun muna kayo sa kwarto ni Ate Claire." Christian said to us. Nagkatinginan kami ni Marshan sa sinabi nito. May konting galit pa ring nararamdaman si Marshan sa kanila. Maging ako rin naman may hinanakit pa rin. 

"W-Wala na bang ibang room, pwede naman kami ni Maxene dito sa sala." Marshan said. 

"Hindi niyo naman kailangang matulog dito sa salas, ipapahanda ko na lang yung guest room then. Mas maganda lang kasi yung airconditioning sa kwarto ni ate kaya dun ko kayo gustong patulugin." 

"Hindi pa rin ba kayo okay ng kuya niyo?" Tita Clarisse asked us. Bahagya siyang inakbayan ni Tito Christopher ng makalapit siya samin. 

"You know kasi Tita, alam naming priority ni kuya yung apo niyo. But since the day na nalaman niyang buntis si Ate Claire, wala na! Hindi na siya umuwi ng bahay. Kahit mangamusta lang ay di pa niya magawa." Dirediretsong sabi ni Marshan. I held her arm para patigilin siya sa pagsasalita. 

She can be insensitive sometimes. 

"Pasensya na po. We're not blaming Ate Claire, we're just not yet comfortable with her." I said. Malungkot na nagkatinginan sina Tito at Tita bago ngumiti samin. 

"Just feel at home then. If you need anything just approach us." Tita Clarisse said. Ngumiti na lang kami sa kanila pabalik. 

Dumiretso kami sa Entertainment Room nina Christian. May mga gamit silang pang-arcade, billiard table, bowling alley at iba pa. 

"Maxene! Play the piano again. Kahit anong kanta!" Monique pulled me towards the grand piano. 

"Yeah! Ang galing mo nung birthday ni Lola Zek!" Christian thumbs up. I pressed my lips tightly at bumaling kay Waldrin at Raven. 

"I only know the piece that Rocket taught me." I said. 

"That's their theme song, you can also consider that as their break up song. Sigurado ba kayong gusto niyong ipatugtog sa kanya yun?" Marshan said.

Waldrin pulled me away from the grand piano. "I will teach you a new piece, just forget what Kuya Rocket taught you okay?" He said. Ngumiti ako sa kanya at yumakap sa braso niya. 

"Let's play pool na lang then! Marunong ka Maxene? Can you teach me?" Monique asked at inabot sakin yung billiard stick. 

"Paturo ka na lang kaya kay Christian, Monique? Naninira ka ng moment ng may moment." Marshan commented. For the first time dun ko lang sila nakita ni Waldrin na nagfist bump. For the first time in history nagkasundo rin sila. 

Napanguso na lang si Monique sa kanila at pinandilatan ko naman silang dalawa. 

"Kailangan niyo talagang pagkaisahan si Monique?" Tanong ko sa kanilang dalawa nung medyo lumayo kami kina Monique at Christian. 

"Paano sila maglelevel up kung hindi natin i-pupush?" Marshan chuckled. "Dito na kami ni Raven sa pinball, bahala na kayo sa buhay niyo." 

"Pansin ko, na-u-under na ni Marshan si Raven. Dati namang mareklamo si Raven, laging may sagot, now tahimik na lang siya." I said to Waldrin. 

"He looks contented though, being with her." He said. Nakaramdam ako ng tuwa sa sinabi ni Waldrin. I glanced at Marshan and Raven na masayang naglalaro ng pinball. Makikita sa kilos nila na komportable sila sa isa't-isa, their eyes speaks that they're happy with each other. 

"Come on, you need more rest. Magpapakuha lang ako ng meryenda." Pinaupo niya ako sa couch and held my shoulders. Agad ko namang nababawi ang lakas ko dahil sa mga tinuturok nila saking vitamins at iba pang gamot kaya ayos na ko. 

"Hindi naman ako nagugutom." Hinila ko siya paupo sa couch. I rested my back on his chest before opening his phone. He gave me a back hug and rested his chin on my shoulder. 

"What's the password?" 

"Your birthday." 

"Yung dati or yung totoo?" I asked him. 

"Yung dati, but you can now change it. Yung totoong birthday mo na lang ang ilagay mo." He said. I pressed my lips tightly and opened his phone before changing it. 

Both his lock screen and home screen are pictures of me. Maging yung mga icons niya puro picture ko. 

"You're too obsess with me." Manghang sabi ko sa kanya upon opening his gallery. 

"Marami pa sa laptop ko." He chuckled. I opened the camera at tinutok samin. 

"If you really wanted a photo you can ask me anytime, ang creepy naman kapag puro ako lang." I said before snapping a selfie of us. He took his phone and check the photo. 

"I-papaframe ko toh." He said. Natawa na lang ako. I can still remember our photo noong outing namin. Pina-enlarge at pinaframe niya talaga yun at sinabit sa wall sa kwarto niya. May mga iba pa kaming pictures na nakalagay din sa mga picture frames at nakapatong sa drawer niya. 

"Let's take a lot then. Tapos gawan natin ng photo album." I said. 

"That's a great idea." He slightly pulled my face and kiss me on the cheek. 

-----

Nanlalaki ang mga mata namin ni Marshan habang nakaupo kami sa harap ng dinning table. Kasama lang naman namin si Ate Claire at Kuya Spencer. 

"I-I'm sorry, w-wala po pala akong ganang kumain." Marshan said before getting up on her seat. 

"We don't want to sound rude Tita, Tito. Pasensya na po." Tumayo na rin ako mula sa upuan ko. Kuya Spencer looked at us painfully. Maging si Ate Claire ay naiilang ring tumingin samin.  

"B-Baka pwede naman natin itong pag-usapan?" Tita Clarisse asked us nicely. 

"Please Marshan, Maxene, let's fix this mess. Malapit na ring manganak si ate." Christian held our hands. My jaw clenched. Namumula ang mga matang napatingin sakin si Marshan. We both took our seats at naramdaman ko naman ang paghawak ni Waldrin sa kamay ko. 

"I-I'm sorry if feeling niyo inagaw ko sa inyo ang kuya niyo." Kumirot ang puso ko when Ate Claire began sobbing. "Maselan kasi ang pagbubuntis ko and I always need Spencer by my side. Tatlong beses na kong muntik makunan, and I was so thankful Spencer was always with me kaya mabilis naming naaagapan." 

"Was it that hard to even make a call?! To send text message?! Alam mo ba na nahanap na namin ang totoong pamilya ni Paeng? Alam mo bang nabaril ako noong nakaraang buwan? Alam mo ba kung anong kailangang pagdaanan ni Maxene araw-araw? Did you know?! Of course not right? Nasan ka ba nung mga panahong yun? When we were looking for the man who promised to protect us and take good care of us always?!" 

Napatayo ng marahas si Marshan habang nakakuyom ang mga kamao sa ibabaw ng mesa. 

"I am not telling you to abandon her and your baby! But once you've step out of our lives, there's no turning back. We're no longer your sisters. Because that's not how a brother should behave!!!" Marshan walked out harshly kaya agad ko siyang hinabol. 

Nakarating kami sa may garden kasabay naman ng malakas na pagbuhos ng ulan. 

"M-Marshan! Baka magkasakit ka!" I called her. Lumapit ako sa kanya to hug her, she was just silently sobbing habang nakayakap siya ng mahigpit sakin sa ilalim ng tulay.

"I'm sorry Maxene, maybe I am just looking for someone to blame, when I saw you in that state, agad kong sinisi si kuya, because I was not strong enough to protect you. Pero kapag nasa tabi natin siya hindi ka na sana nahihirapan ng ganyan diba? Hindi lalala ng ganito yung sitwasyon mo? But in reality it's not his fault, kasi hindi naman niya talaga tayo kapatid, hindi niya tayo obligasyon. Ako ang may responsibilidad sa iyo but I am not strong enough to protect you, I'm sorry." She cried. 

"Ssshhhh, you know that's not true. Kasalanan toh ng mga Venom diba? Kaya nga tayo lumalaban para wala ng matulad sakin. It's not your job to protect me Marshan." 

"Maxene, Marshan..." Sabay kaming napalingon ni Marshan sa pagtawag samin ni Kuya Spencer. Just like us, he's already soaked under the rain. 

"I don't have a valid excuse for my behavior, tumiwalag na ako sa Mafia because of the threats to my family. Ayokong manganib ang buhay ng pamilya ko. They are everything to me now. Lolo advised me not to get involved with the two of you anymore. I'm sorry." Mas lalong lumakas ang hagulgol ni Marshan sa narinig. 

"Pumasok ka na sa loob Marshan..." I told her. Humawak ng mahigpit sakin si Marshan like telling me not to do what I am planning to do. 

"I-It's okay now. Naiintindihan ko na. You don't have to do this Maxene." 

"Pumasok ka na sa loob Marshan, don't make me repeat myself." Nanginginig na bumitaw si Marshan sa braso ko. Palingon-lingon siya samin habang naglalakad papasok sa bahay nina Christian. 

"I will be gone soon..." I said to Kuya Spencer noong makalayo na si Marshan. 

"I know..." He sighed. 

"I'll make sure lahat ng bakas ng venom ay mabubura kasabay ng pagkawala ko. You won't feel threatened and I'll make sure McNeil and Primera will protect your family." 

"Maxene..."

"Alagaan mo si Marshan kapag wala na ko." 

He looked at me painfully while furiously biting his lower lip. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry Maxene." He cried. I wanted to hurt him physically, gustung-gusto ko siyang bugbugin dahil sa mga pangako niyang napako. But I won't, I can't.

My heart is hurting so much, I could hardly lay a finger at him. 

"Punch me. Alam kong gusto mo yung gawin sakin Maxene. Please let out all your grudges on me. Sapakin mo ko Maxene!" He suddenly pushed kaya agad na tumama ang kamao ko sa panga niya. 

My tears started streaming down my cheeks na nahahalo na sa tubig ulan. My eyes stings already but I continued punching him. Hindi ko siya tinigilan kahit nakahiga na siya sa may damuhan. 

"Bakit ako pa?! Why do I need to die?! Why can't I live long?! Bakit hindi rin ako pwedeng magkapamilya tulad mo?! WHY?!!" I kept on punching him habang nilalabas ko lahat ng mga hinanakit ko. 

"BAKIT?! BAKIT??!!!" I shouted. Kuya caught my fist at niyakap ako ng mahigpit. Dun na ko tuluyang napaiyak. 

"I'm sorry Maxene, I can't do anything for you." He said. Napaiyak na lang ako ng malakas habang dinadamdam ang bigat at sakit sa dibdib ko. 

I've been saving and protecting lives pero bakit kailangan ko pa ring mawala? Why can't a miracle happen for me?! Bakit patuloy pa rin akong pinagbabayad sa mga kasalanang hindi ko naman ginustong gawin? 

"Everything that makes me happy will be gone soon kuya, unti-unti ng nawawala ang lahat sakin..." I sobbed. He hugged me tighter at hinalikan ang gilid ng ulo ko. 

"Ikaw, si Paeng, si Marshan... I guess I really don't deserve to be happy---"

"Ssshhh that's not true, you deserve the best in the world. Sa mga nalalabing araw mo, gawin mo ang lahat para maging masaya ka, treasure every moment, leave good memories Maxene. You'll always be remembered and loved." 

Namamaga ang mga mata namin ni kuya na pumasok sa bahay nila Christian, may pag-aalala sa mga mata nina Tito at Tita. I pressed my lips tightly as Waldrin wrapped me with a towel. Nasa couch si Marshan at umiinom ng hot choco. 

The others are afraid to even utter a word. Alam ko namang hindi nila narinig ang mga pinag-usapan namin so everything is fine.

"Y-You're bleeding..." Ate Claire gasped when she saw the bruises on Kuya Spencer's face. 

"It's okay, I deserved it. Magpalit ka na ng damit mo Maxene, you can't get sick." Kuya said. Napayuko na lang ako at lumapit kay Marshan, hindi pa siya nakakapagpalit ng damit at bahagyang nanginginig. 

"Halika na Marshan..." I called her. 

*sneeze!*

"I don't wanna get sick..." Marshan pouted habang sumisinghot. 

"Kailangan na nating magpalit ng damit." Pumasok na kami sa guest room para kumuha ng damit. Sa kwarto na ako ni Ate Claire nakiligo. Nakatapis lang ako ng tuwalya ng lumabas when the door opened. 

"I-Ija, are you okay?" Tita Clarisse entered the room. May hawak siyang mga damit na ipinatong niya sa dresser. "T-The scars..." Hirap na sabi niya ng makita ang mga peklat ko sa likod. 

"You know, I am a Mafian, Tita. I was raised to kill and this marks will always remind me that I am a monster." 

Suminghap siya at dahan-dahang lumapit sakin. 

"You are an angel for me..." She said as she cupped my face. Napapikit ako ng mariin para pigilan ang nagbabadyang mga luha. "I don't know why but my heart feels warm whenever I sees you." 

I pressed my lips tightly as I held her hand on my face. "Can I hug you?" I asked her. Ngumiti siya sakin as she opened her arms widely for me. 

I hugged her tight at pinakiramdam ang init ng katawan niya. This is my mother's warmth, the warmth that I never imagined I would feel. 

"You are Christian's friend, pwede mo na rin akong ituring Mommy mo Maxene. You are all my children for me." She said as she brushed my hair. I let go of her at iniabot naman niya sakin ang mga dala niyang damit kanina. 

"Wear this para hindi ka magkasakit, I'll just go check your sister." She smiled at me. Ngumiti ako pabalik sa kanya as I stared on the pajamas that she gave me. 

----

"Okay na kayo ni Kuya?" Marshan asked me after sniffing. Agad kong kinapa ang leeg niya. Her temperature is starting to rise. 

"We're fine, ikaw ba?" 

"I'm okay na. Naiintindihan ko namang hindi lang satin iikot ang mundo niya." She sighed then coughed. 

"Drink your med, Marshan. I made you lemonade." Iniabot ni Raven yung gamot at lemonade kay Marshan bago bumaling sakin. 

"Ako na bahala kay Marshan, you should go and rest, too." Raven said to me. Napaiwas ako ng tingin when Marshan hugged Raven after drinking her medicine. Nagiging clingy at OA pa naman siya kapag nagkakasakit. 

"Good luck  then. She's cute when she's sick baka hindi ka makapagpigil." I said to him. Bahagyang namula ang pisngi niya sa sinabi ko and slightly nodded at me. 

"How about you? Hindi naman masama ang pakiramdam mo?" Biglang sulpot ni Waldrin na agad kinapa ang noo at leeg ko. 

"Nah, I'm good." I said. Bumuntong hininga siya as he held my hand and check my knuckles. 

"I hate seeing you being violent, but I guess parte na iyon ng pagkatao mo. Yet still I want you to know, whatever your past is, whatever your feeling right now. I am here to listen. And if hindi ka pa handang mag-open up sakin, ayos lang. My feelings for you will never change no matter what." He said wholeheartedly and kissed my forehead.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kanya. Malamlam ang kanyang mga mata na puno ng pag-aalala at pagmamahal. 

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" I asked him. Bahagyang nanlaki ang mga mata niya and mas humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sakin. 

"I would love to but we can't, nasa bahay tayo nina Christian and hindi ka pa lubusang magaling..." 

"We've been sleeping together every after my therapy. Okay pa naman nung hindi ko pa sinasabi sayo." I pouted. 

"Ako dapat ang nagtatampo sayo dahil hindi mo sinabi sakin yun." Medyo pagalit na sabi niya. I pressed my lips tightly when I realized what he meant, I've been hiding a lot of things from him. I've never been honest to him because I can't bear to break his heart. 

"So, we can't sleep together tonight?" I asked innocently. He pressed his lips against mine. 

"Let's go home, bumalik na lang tayo ng maaga bukas." He grinned.