There is nothing as painful as not knowing what is happening to your baby. Anxiety was killing me, just knowing if she was okay and how she looked. I lay on the bed on my side, my back facing Rafael who sat in a chair distant from me looking through the window.
I couldn't help but shed a few tears, it felt like my baby was just ripped away from my arms. My heart was not going to rest until I saw my little angel. The curtains were pushed to the side and a nurse walked in carrying a couple of papers. I swiftly turned around sure to have pulled few stitches as the pain had my teeth chattering but I folded my hands into fists holding it in not wanting them to see.

Rafael quickly stood up and we were both on alert waiting for her to tell us how our baby is doing.

"Hello, Mr and Mrs Vintagè," she said and I wondered why everyone we came across thought we were married.

"How is my baby? Is she okay? Can I see her?" I bombarded her with questions so many emotions coursing through me; fear, pain, anxiety, anger and more fear.

She smiled.

"Your baby is a fighter, as much as I can't say we are out of the water but she is fighting and holding on to life. She is so strong just like her mother." The nurse said as a tear slid down my cheek followed by another relief washing over me yet my heart sinking at how my baby was still fighting for her life. I wanted to knee begging the lord for him to shed his light on us. We had suffered so much and just needed a breakthrough. I wanted to ask the lord to take away her pain for I would carry it for as long as needed, I wanted to ask his holiness to send angels guarding my baby through for in a heartbeat I would trade my life for hers.

My baby was fighting for her life and I was just sitting here. I should be with her holding her tiny hand and whispering how much I loved her. I should be there by her side with every passing second for her to know I was there for her, to know that she was not alone and to know that warm arms were ready to take her and shield her from the world.

"When can I see her nurse?" I asked hoping she would just give me a positive answer.

"You can see her right away ma'am but you will have to fill these forms about vaccinations and give us all your details and what name you have chosen for her."

The nurse said smiling.

I looked at Rafael, I had thought of so many names but I just couldn't settle on the perfect one.

I took some of the forms reading them as quickly as I could, most of them were just asking if we agreed that our baby be vaccinated against this and that which I didn't know really. I signed where I was supposed to and passed them on to Rafael to also sign on his part.

In five minutes I was done and I was filling a form about my personal details. The form was only written the time of birth of the baby. I filled in my name, age, sex, address and many more details.
I wrote Czarina Nikita Vintage at the space where the baby's name was needed. I was happy with the names I chose, Czarina meant a born empress which I felt my baby was and Nikita meant unbeatable, supreme and invisible. They were great Russian names and I felt like they just suited my little fighter. I passed the form to Rafael then I carefully slid out of bed and wore my slippers impatiently waiting for him to finish writing so I could go see my baby.
Excitement, anxiety and fear all gripped at me and I just couldn't stand still. I wished I could just fly to where my baby was and just scoop her in my arms and never let her go. Rafael stopped writing and looked up at me which just infuriated me, I wanted to see my baby and he was taking his time.

"You named the baby?" He asked irritated.

"Yes," I said.

"But why, you didn't even consult with me. I wanted to name the baby too." He said slamming the pen down.

"Well I think you lost that right when you kicked me and the baby out of the house because you were done with us like trash. You lost that right when you beat me while I was carrying your baby and you lost that right when you chose that snake over us so don't tell me what I should or should not do when it comes to my baby. Be happy she keeps your surname. If I had left that day you kicked us out would you be able to pick the names of the baby? No! So please fill in those forms quickly because I really want to see my baby and not even you is going to stop me from that!" I said angrily before storming out of that confined area leaving Rafael angry and shocked whilst the nurse looked pale.

It seemed everyone in the ward had heard me and they all stole glances from me now and then whispering to themselves which just made me even madder. All I wanted was to just see my little baby, what was so hard about that. I waited for them at the other side of the curtain impatiently and after a few minutes the nurse and Rafael came out.

The nurse looked scared and sick.

"p....lease follow me." She said as she quickly walked away.

I followed them, it was hard to keep up with their fast pace because my belly hurt like hell and I would have to take short breaks.   It was pure agony but I kept pushing because I really wanted to see my angel.

We walked through busy passages, the walls were dirty, the floor was not pleasant to look at and there was this stench which just made me queasy, Lord I hated government hospitals. When I thought I couldn't take it no more we walked through a door and the room was coloured yellow, blue and pink. The small room was filled with about ten cribs all of them occupied, the cribs were old and rusty showing how this clinic was really struggling to meet the people's needs. Cries filled the room, cries so harsh they tore at me seeing from different cribs new born babies kicking while some sleeping oblivious to the sounds from the others. I wondered why it seemed Rafael did not help out in the village, it was his island after all with most people there working for him. My hands were shaking, my lower lip quivering pain making me see black spots but I took in a deep breath trying to be strong for at this point it was not about me, at this point I had to be strong for my baby needed me and I was all she had.

We walked to the far corner where there was the tiniest baby I have ever seen laying on her back, hands folded into tiny fists. She was the cutest thing I had ever seen with her tiny eyes closed. Pink just like the diaper she had on nothing else covering her skin that looked so sensitive as if even the air would bruise it.

She was in a glass closed container with an oxygen supplier on the right, a tube going through the glass to her parted pink soft lips her tiny chest moving up and down so much so it tore my heart apart. I took a deep breath feeling my head go woozy my body ready to give out yet I found stability on the wall leaning on it for support.

My heart was at my throat, I was so happy to see my baby yet could not help the pain that tore through me seeing her at such a state. She was the cutest thing I had ever seen, my arms just itched to hold her, wanting nothing more than to take her away from here, away from him and his psychotic ways.

"This here is Czarina, isn't she adorable?" The nurse said moving to the monitors next to the glass container, she was in checking on this and that.

"She is," I said back giggling a little tears welling up my eyes only to spill out. We had come such a long way together nearly giving up on us, on her but finally she was here and I could not wait to whisk her away and protect her from the world giving her a life meant for fairy tales. From then I knew my world would revolve around her and I would protect her against anything.

"I am sorry you cannot hold or touch her, she is quite fragile but soon I promise you can." The nurse said.

I nodded feeling sad but it was what was best for the baby.

"She is going to wake up soon, she is doing well." The nurse continued "let us go, we will come back after an hour or two I am sure she will be awake."
"Okay," I said sadly as we all turned and walked away.

We left the room and walked back, it was hard for me take even a single step. It was just pure agony, adrenaline had kept me pushing before but now there was nothing but pure agony as I limped with the support of the wall the pain nearly paralysing my limbs. I walked behind Rafael and the nurse taking breaks now and then leaning against the wall. I was left behind with much distance between us not being able to keep up with their pace, such inconsiderate people really.

Just as we were about to get there I heard a familiar voice calling my name then feet quickly running towards me. I didn't even have the energy to turn around and see who it was. All energy was spared to keep my droopy eyes open the black spots in my eyes making it hard to see anything as I thought I would sway to the ground barely catching my breath.
"Harley," the person said again now very close.
I turned my head my eyes falling on this man that held such a huge smile it was contagious. He did not waste time scooping me in his arms hugging me tightly.

"Tom, where have you been?" I said as he put me down feeling at ease with his presence, at least someone who cared.

"Been busy running an empire, sorry I left like that I couldn't contact you. I missed you." He said smiling like a five year old.

"I missed you too, " I said back.

"How is our little angel?" He asked his face turning serious now.

"She is fighting Tom, she is strong and so beautiful." I said back.

"She is just like her mother for sure, I am so sorry I wasn't there for you. I came as fast as I could." He said.

"I know you did." I said back as we started walking.

"Harley are you okay?" Tom asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I said pulling up a ghost smile failing even at that.

He swiftly picked me up bridal style no questions asked stalking forward with me in his arms.

"Come on Tom you don't have to." I said shyly.

"Nonsense, you pale, you shouldn't even be out of bed. I swear you were about to faint" Tom said.
I put my hands around his neck relaxing into his body feeling some of the pain drain away leaving me cold and I dug myself deep in his arms sighing warmth seeping through my skin. I turned my head to where Rafael stood and I swear his face was red with fury. I turned my head around and buried it in Tom's very masculine and hard chest not wanting to deal with him right now, not in the mood for his tantrums at this point.

Tom followed Rafael to the ward then he carefully placed me on the bed and covered me with the covers.

"Have you eaten?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Harley come on, Okay, I will go get you some delicious food and water." he said before he turned around and left.

Rafael sat at his chair gazing at the sky from the window next to my tiny bed his hands folded into fists.