Damien's POV

My eyes looking around the flower shop before my hand grabbed a bouquet of tulip. Her favourite flower. After paying it, I drove towards a place.

A place that she stayed right now.

A place that I didn't wanted for someone I love to live.

My hand pulled the brake when my car parked safely. I hesitated either to meet her and gave this flower or not. But my hearts wants otherwise.

After a couple of minutes thinking, my hand picked up the flower and stepped out from my car. Finally decided to meet her.

As my steps closer to a room that she stayed, it became slowed. Feeling my footsteps more heavier. As if it was unwillingly to go where I wanted to.

I stopped in front of the door, but then hesitated again.

Does she recognised who I am?

Does she wants to meet me?

Does she still love me?

All my thoughts became one, fighting inside my head.

When my hand just wanted to push the door, suddenly a nurse was coming into this way carrying a tray of food.

My hand automatically covered my head with the hoodie that I was wearing. I didn't wanted anyone to see me.

I let the nurse passed through the door. When the door opened slightly, I saw her, my mother was sitting on the bed with pale face looking out the window.

Even the nurse greeted her and gave her the tray. She just ignored her and didnt answered it. She was in her own world. My heart broke when I saw the state of her like this.

She was alone.

The corner of my eyes stung at the sight of her like that. What was she think about? Has she ever think about me? Missing me?

I turned my body around after the nurse has done her job, closing the door making me won't saw her anymore. I looked at the flower on my hand making me gripped it tightly.

"Wait!", I called out the nurse making her turned around.

"Yes?",she looked at me but then frowned when I handed her the flower.

"I want you to give that to Ms. Sophia Calixte." I asked her.

She nodded before asking me, "But, who are you? Are you her family? She never have any visitors though." she asked me, probably curious when suddenly I showed up.

My hand clenched when I heard tye fact that she never had any visitors even one. I sighed, "Just tell her..."

You have your son here.

I will take care of you once all of my problem settled.

Please get well soon.

I love you, mom.

But then, my mouth can't said those words."Tell her that I'm just one of her office mate and get well soon."

The nurse nodded her head before entered the room again."Sophia, there's someone send this beautiful flower for you."

I saw she didn't respond anything at first but she turned her body making me hide myself behind the door quickly so she won't saw me standing outside of her room.

"What? A flower?"she asked, and that was the first time in these years I heard her angelic voice.

The nurse answered,"Yeah, he said he was one of your office mate."

"Officemate? He?.... How is he look like?", she asked.

It's seems that she knew who I am.

"Hmm, I can't saw his face because he wear a hoodie. But I can tell that he is tall, handsome young man and ouhh he also said please get we--"

Suddenly I can heard the sound of objects falling. "No, he's not my officemate. Where is he?"

My eyes widened when she already realised who I am actually are. I decided to run away from her.

"Damien!"

My leg stopped running when I heard her screamed my name. My body cant moved as if it was rooted on the floor.

"Damien....baby.."

My heart clenched and I wanted to turn my body around, and hugged her. Telling her that I missed her. I wanted to take care of her. But it seems my brain right now cannot worked properly.

"Damien, I miss you.."

I sighed, wiping the tears that dropped at the corner of my eyes without me realising it and decided to just walked away and never looked behind.

I'm sorry mom but I will come back for you.

Soon.

🔥🔥🔥

The sound of the song blasting throughout the room filled my ears. Men and women dancing wildly as if there's no tomorrow. Once, I liked to be here. But now, that feels disappeared that turns into an annoyed.

My hand picked up a glass that filled with vodka and drank all of it until its empty. But it seems the alcohol won't help me forgot all my problem.

"Let go of me you monster!"

To her I am just a monster.

"I said dont touch me with those filthy hand!"

She doesn't wanted me to touch her.

"You know what? Once a liar always a liar."

Liar?

I know I am a liar because I lied to her. I didn't dared to tell her truth. I'm afraid if I told her she will leave me.

Alone.

In Pain.

My hand gripped the glass tightly before I drank another shots, and another until a hand stopped it.

"Stop Damien!", Aiden stopped me from drinking, pushed the glass away from me.

"Fxck off!", I shouted against the loud music, pushed him away before stood up from my seat but stumbled a bit.

"Damien, be careful.", Jack steadied my body but I slapped his hand away.

"Dont touch me, you axxhole!", I glared both Aiden and him as they wanted to help me from falling.

"What is wrong with you?", Aiden asked, his voice sounded worried about me.

"What is wrong with me?", I asked him with the same question with a laughed that was suddenly came out.

"Everything was wrong! Everything! I should have not known her! I should not fall in love with her! I should not married her! I should not!", After my mouth said all those words, my hand pushed away all the glasses and bottles on the bar until it scattered on the floor.

Suddenly the loud noise earlier became silence. I can felt every pair of eyes in this club were looking at me, stopped moving or dancing.

"Damien..", Aiden sighed and asked Jack to close the club.

Once all of the people gone, my hand grabbed another bottle of vodka before drank all of it.

"Damien.. stop!", they tried to stop me but I kept pushing them away.

"I-I should not forced her doing things just because I love her. And yes.. to her I'm a monster. A piece of shxt.", I let out a sinical laughed.

"Damien.... You should not be like this. You're not wrong. You--", I cut off Aiden talking before smirking at him.

"Stop saying that shxt, Aiden.", I scoffed at his words, glaring him with my blurry eyes. "Admit it, I am an unlucky carrier. Ever since we have known each other you always have problem with my enemy."

He kept silence with my words, as if something was inside his mind right now.

"See.. you know it by yourself." I smirked, before threw the empty bottle on to the floor.

I turned my body around, wanted to go away from here but I stopped when I heard him talking.

"Your enemy is my enemy. That's what you told me when you save me, Damien. Ever since that I never have any problem with that. I will stay by your side to fight them."

I shook my head before continued to walk outside towards my car and drove it.

🔥🔥🔥

I didn't know when was the car stopped. It's was my leg taking me anywhere. But how can I stopped in front of my house after days disappearing.

I don't want to show my face in front of her after all my secrets had been revealed.

How can I showed my face to her when I was truly lying?

After felt like hours inside the car, I decided to stepped out in the car.

It's like I'm feeling a dejavu except the person I wanted to meet was different.

I shook my head when I felt it was spinning around probably because of the alcohol before.

I didn't used the main door of the house instead I took the elevator at the garage that taking me towards the third floor.

I walked staggered toward the room without turn on the lights. My hand pulled my shirt over my head before threw it across the room.

My hand gripped the knob of the bathroom before pushed it roughly before turning on the lights of the bathroom.

I shook my head when it's spinning again. I washed my face a few times before my eyes stared at the mirrors.

There's a reflection of me, staring at me with an ugly face. A face that has no shame. A face of liar.

A monster.

I can felt my anger was boiling when my hand suddenly punching the mirrors out of rage. The mirror cracked when I punched it again.

Again.

And again.

Until my hand was bleeding but I don't felt any pain. The pain wasn't my hand but my heart.

A sinical laughed escaped my lips when I saw my reflection was cracked. Just like my past it was broke and disappointing.

I turned my body around and walked out of the bathroom without any care of the glass flakes on the floor.

The dark room was like my friend. Just like me. Dark. Unseen. Nobody like them. People scared of them.

My legs became weak with every stepped I take. Then finally when it can't handle my body I felt my self falling to the floor.

This cold floor was like a sharp knife stabbing my skin slowly and painfully. I hugged myself and closed my eyes hoping that the pain will go away but it won't.

Minutes become hour, my body can't get up from the floor. It seems my body became stiffed. Until a warm hand shaking my body.

"Damien?", a soft voice sounded in my ear. A voice that made my day more bright.

I opened my eyes and saw her angelic face. She looked beautiful. Her face was shining. But was this just a dream?

"Baby?"I asked, my voice sounded rough and hoarse.

"You're sick." She told me, I felt her worried about me.

A smiled tugged on the corner of my lips, before my hand grabbed her soft wrist that wanted to move my body.

"I-I'm sorry." I whispered as our hands intertwined before I kisses her hand.

"Come on you shouldn't sleep on the ground when you have fever." I grunted when my body followed her command as if I wasn't my body, it was hers.

After my body already laying on the bed, I chuckled when I saw the way she looked at me. Maybe that's because of my looks.

Probably I looked like shxt right now. She moved but I grabbed her hand, "Stay."

She sighing,"I just wanted to take the first aid kit and some water."my baby doll said as she put my hand on my sides.

I saw she disappeared in the bathroom, before she came back with a small basin and the first aid kit. Her small hand touched mine and I felt tingles when our skin met.

My eyes stared at her, the women that I love. The women that made my days became bright. The love of my life.

She carefully wipe my body until our eyes met but she looked away and continued her worked.

"I wish I wanted to always have a fever if you're taking care of me." I talked when she was quite making her stopped her hand that was on my collarbone.

I slowly brought my hand to tuck her hair to the back of her ear. She ignored what I said and continued her worked faster.

When she's done, she cleaned up all the messed and went towards the bathroom. It looks like she was in rushed.

I sat up slowly and waited her to come out. "Baby?" I called her before tried to stand but a groaned escaped my lips.

She walked towards me, "You should take a rest." She demanded, pushed my body softly to lay on the bed and covered my body again.

When I saw her wanted to go again I called her."Don't go." She sighed and sat back,"I just wanted to cook some food for you."

I shook my head and hold her hand. It looks like I became a pampered boy when I was near her.

"I don't want food I want you." My hand gripped hers softly before hugged it to my chest.

"Damien...."she refused, but I closed my eyes, ignoring her when she pulled her hand but I hugged it tightly.

I waited until she stopped pulling and I smiled when she finally stopped. A few minutes later I felt her hands caressing my hair until sleep overtakes me.

I opened my eyes but I was in an unknown place. The place was misty, dark as if there's no end on this place.

"Damien.."

I heard someone called my name but I can't find the one who called me.

"Damien.."

I turned my body around,"who's there?"I asked, looking around before my eyes found a women was looking at someone, a boy.

And that boy was me.

Me, when I was still 10 years old. I was playing basketball with my friend and she was looking at me and calling my name.

Suddenly the ball in my hand slipped and rolled towards that women. I followed the ball and caught it but I stopped when a pair of heels was in front of me.

I looked up and saw her face, my mother. But at that time I can't recognised her.

"Who are you?"the voice of me when I was still a kid asking,"Are you my mother?"I asked innocently with my eyes twinkled when I saw we shared the same eyes.

That women smiled at my question, she kneeled and patted my head softly."One day you will know me. Always remember Damien.. I love you with all my hearts."she said with her teary eyes.

"Mommy??"

She continued,"I'm sorry I can't be on your side since you're a baby. I'm sorry I can't hear your first word, I can't saw your first step. I'm sorry but I have to protect you."she pulled me softly and hugged my body.

"Take care of yourself, baby. Mommy will always love you."she whispered against my ears and kissed my cheek before stood up.

"Mom.."I can felt my eyes teared.

"Bye baby."she said before turned her body around and entered her car.

My body was rooted on the ground,"Mom?"I hiccups.

That was when I realised that my mother still love me."Mommy!"I shouted, the ball in my small hand dropped when my short little legs started to run after the car.

"Mommy!"I shouted and ran more faster.

"Please..."I gasped when I stumbled and fell down."No!"

My eyes saw the car was already far and more far,"Don't leave me."I cried.

"Damien.."

I cried out of anger and devastated when my eyes can't saw the car anymore. My small hand rubbed my teary eyes.

When my eyes opened wide, a gasped escaped my lips. I saw in front of me wasn't that memories but my wife.

Was this another dream?

My hand touched her soft flawless cheek to make sure that this wasn't dream."Baby?"and she was real before I embraced her tightly.

The moment I hide my face on her neck, I let out a choked of sobs. I tried not to cry in front of her. But I know I can't.

And finally I broke into tears. The tears that I always hide. The tears of disappointment. The tears that showed weaknesses.

My hand gripped her shirt, when she rubbed my head and my back that was shivered under her touch.

"Don't leave me." I whispered, hoping that she won't leaving me.

"I won't."

I hope she kept her words. So, I asked her to make a promise.

"Promise me?"

She chuckled,"Okay, I promise."

I pushed her softly and looked at her."You better keep your promise otherwise I'm going to cuff you on this bed forever."I warned her.

She chuckled, pinching my cheek."How can I leave you when I'm pre--"she stopped talking as if something was off."w-when I'm not going anywhere."

She looked everywhere but me, wiping my tears with her hand."Alright you should eat first before back to sleep."she patted my shoulder and took the bowl.

P/S: I'm back.

I'm sorry for not updating any chapter. When I reinstall Wattpad and login I received so many notification from you guys asking me when will I update.

Thank you for your support. And more shocking TMHG is going to the next round in The Fiction Awards 2018.

So, if you want to vote against on TMHG you can go to thefictionawards and vote my book.

And thank you very much again and again for voting this book of mine. I really appreciate and thankful for all the voting that you vote on TMHG.

I decided to finish book within this year.

Thank you.

Lots of love,
_MViolet