I found him.

I found my brother.

Well, at least I think it's my brother. When I opened the message it said something along the lines of his parents being dead and him having younger twin sisters that he's never met.

We've been talking to each other pretty much all day for 2 days. He says he's really happy to have found me. I've told him lots of things about me, like about being adopted and about how Lola died. 

I've accepted it a bit more now. I don't feel so lonely now that I've found Luke. I've been leaving my room a lot more and talking to everyone else. Everyone's really happy about it.

They're not making me go back to therapy. Me and Ross have talked about it together and neither of us think it will help. It's just a matter of trying to stop grieving, which should happen naturally over time.

As I've been getting better though, Riker's been getting a lot worse. He won't let any of us talk to him and he keeps his bedroom door locked. The only time he opens it is when Rocky brings him food. 

They've had the funeral for Lola now. It was pretty much the first time any of us had really been out since everything happened. It wasn't anything special. They wanted one of us to speak but it was too painful. There wasn't many people there. Just us and a few of Lola's friends. It was mostly just the vicar saying stuff about how it's all part of God's plan and that she's in Heaven. It definitely wasn't what Lola would have wanted. 

Riker's P.O.V

It's all my fault.

Lola's dead and it's completely my fault.

I'm shit at looking after children if I can't even see a girl starving herself in front of my very eyes. 

I never seem to have any idea what goes on around me. Lola was starving herself and Lilly was cutting herself. 

I should've tried harder to help them. Make them both realize how perfect they both were. Now, because of me, one of them's dead and one of them tried to kill herself.

Lilly would just be much better off without me in her life. The others can look after her so much better than I can.

Everyone would be better off without me.

My eyes darted to the drawer of my desk. The blade I took from Lilly was in there. I took it and walked into the bathroom.

I didn't really register what I was doing. All I knew is that I didn't want to be there anymore and no one really needed me.

I put the cold metal onto my wrist. I pushed it in and dragged it across. I don't know if it went through the vein or not, but I was hoping it would. 

My hand no longer had the strength to hold the blade. It fell to the ground with a smash that echoed through my head. My whole head felt like it was spinning and my eyesight was starting to fade.

I fell to the ground and everything went black.

Rocky's P.O.V

I waked to Riker's door to check how he is. He's having a really rough time and refuses to leave his room. 

I knocked on the door but he didn't say anything.

"Riker, bro? You Ok?" I called through the door. Still no reply. 

"Rik, open the door." I said to him. I was getting kinda worried by this point. 

I kept calling his name but with no reply. By now everyone but Lilly was with me, also calling him.

"Alright, I'm breaking the door down." I said to them.

I took a few steps back and ran with full force towards the door. It didn't open straight away but I definitely made some damage. After 2 or 3 more tries, the door opened.

I couldn't see Riker anywhere so I went to the attached bathroom.

I was so shocked by what I saw that I couldn't move or speak.

"Rocky, what is it?" Rydel called to me.

After a few seconds I managed to shout back, "Call 911! Now!"

***

Riker's P.O.V

I woke up and the first thing I noticed were voices all around me. I struggled to open my eyes but when I did, I saw all of my siblings standing over me.

I was in a hospital. This means I didn't kill myself. I realized now how happy that made me. I never truly wanted to die.

Rydel immediately wrapped her arms around me.

"I'm so glad you're alive!" She told me.

"So am I." I told her in reply. 

I noticed Lilly wasn't here. I asked where she was.

"We didn't think it was a good idea for her to come. She's at home with Ellington. He's not family so he's not allowed in anyway.

My siblings stayed until the end of visiting hours, then they had to leave.

I wondered when I would be allowed home. I asked a nurse.

"Probably not for a while. After we can discharge you, you're going to be treated as an inpatient in the mental health ward."