Teeth against teeth. Claws against claws. Fist to fist.

They both move every fraction of a second, drawing out blood every time they meet in the air, and taking turns to land punches and kicks. I don't even think they have one single second to stop to breathe, or even to feel the pain from their newly formed wounds.

Both men appear and disappear at the speed of light at every corner of the room. They destroy a lot of the tree's large roots on the floor, create multiple dents on the walls, and leave blood trailing on every floor they land on.

However, with every blow Lyall takes, Lyall moves slightly slower. He was already wounded from his previous fight with Adina, yet he still takes Ed as his opponent.

He is fighting for me.

"Mars," Gina makes me spin my head to her again. "The walls that are caging us... those are our own creations. There are ways to get out of it or to get past it. There are ways."

"Close your eyes," Gina instructs me, "Take a deep breath. And imagine the walls crumbling."

I don't exactly know what she is talking about but I trust her and I follow her words. Or perhaps I just want to close my eyes to avoid the horrible sight in front of me.

The moment I close my eyes, I am back in the deep sea of my own making, far away from the surface and anchored so deep to the ground. In front of me is the same wall where I heard those banging sounds from before. The banging sounds have not stopped.

I realize now that what Gina meant as 'wall' is the wall blocking my bond with Lyall.

"But the crystal..." I mumble as I put my hands on the wall.

"The crystal is affecting your mind," I can hear Gina's voice in my mind, though very faint. "But your mind is ultimately still yours."

Maybe Gina is right. Besides, if Lyall is still fighting to tear this blockage down, I should try everything in my power too, right?

So I take a deep breath, and with all my focus, I imagine the wall crumbling.

At first, nothing happens. In desperation, I bang on the wall several times.

Still, nothing happens.

"It's okay, Mars," Gina's voice echoes in my mind, "Imagine it again."

"I can't... the crystal is too strong..."

"You can. I will lend you my power. Ready?"

Taking a deep breath and letting it out, I close my eyes again and start to imagine the wall crumbling.

"Why do you want this wall to crumble, Mars?" Gina asks.

"Because...," my voice chokes, "I want... I need him."

"Is he important to you?"

"Yes!" That is not even a question.

"Why?"

Why?

Why? I remember our moments together. The way Lyall makes me feel, the warmth he has given to me. How my life has gotten a lot better after meeting him. How I have found the best version of myself because of him.

I realize a second too late that the wall is shaking much more than before. Even the banging from the other side has stopped, but the wall is still trembling. When I open my eyes, the stone has been broken to pieces, then the pieces shift to the ground, revealing what's behind them all along.

The wall is crumbling. It breaks into dust, into sands, that blend with the current of the sea of my own making.

And floating behind the wall is the figure of a man I will never forget. The man who has brought me to a better life, who has opened doors for me to be the best version of myself I thought I could never be.

Gina's voice disappears in my mind but at this point, I could not care less.

I want to swim to him, but my feet are anchored deeply into the sands. Bubbles of exasperation escape my lips as my hands can't reach him. But not for too long. Because Lyall swims to me with the kindest smile I have ever seen.

He looks at me as if saying things will be alright. And just because of his gaze, I can breathe easier underwater.

Lyall pulls the huge anchors weighing me down deep in the sand with only one hand. I don't even have time to tell him to not bother about the heavy anchors, or to tell him that even with his lycan strength, the anchors will never budge–

The Lycan King has proven me wrong.

Because he drags those anchors so easily from deep within the sands then looks at me gently.

My eyes widen at the sight of the anchors in Lyall's hand.

They are... smaller than I remembered them to be.

"Can you swim up?" Lyall's mouth is unmoving, but his voice is so clear in my head. I realize then that he is talking through our bond. Since the wall has crumbled, our bond is clear again.

I shake my head weakly to answer. I look up to the surface of the sea. It is very far, and the light from the surface seems so faint.

"You should swim up yourself, Lyall," I mumble through our bond, "You're not supposed to be here, anyway. You should focus on your blood duel with Ed."

The thought of Ed crushing Lyall in the duel comes to mind. The duel has become one-sided in reality. With Ed drawing out more blood from Lyall with every passing second, with every blow. It takes longer and harder for Lyall to get back up every time.

Covered in blood and ugly bruises, Lyall stares straight through me in reality. At the same time, he is staring deep through my soul in my mind, in the sea of my own making.

"This is the real reason I challenged Ed to a duel, Mars," he says under the sea in my mind, in a parallel space where it's only the two of us. "I want to talk to you." He puts an emphasis on the word 'you,' and I understand he wants to speak to my soul in this parallel space, instead of the shell I have become in the outside world.

"I want to help you."

My heart bleeds at his words. Why would he help me to the point of risking his life? He has helped me a lot, so why help me again?

"But Naver said there is no cure to the crystal," Lyall's eyes gaze down to my lower stomach, then flicks back his gaze to mine. "I wish I have your power to manipulate emotion. Wait, 'manipulate' sounds wrong to be used, but you have the power to make everyone else around you feel so... so... good. You make everyone feels loved."

I can only blink at his words.

"I wish I can help you emotionally like you have helped me and Sky," he says, "I wish I can do more." He raises the anchors with just one hand as if they are nothing. It might be my imagination, but the anchors are getting smaller, somehow.

Then Lyall looks at the sea around us. It's just a void filled with water with nothing else other than us two and the sands below us. There is the surface far above and dim light. But that's it.

I'm ashamed that this is the first time Lyall breaks through my soul and he has to see me in this state. He probably realizes that I have nothing to offer now. It's just a vast, empty sea that suffocates us to breathe.

"It's beautiful."

Our gazes lock with each other. I can see my own shocked expression through the reflection on his pupils. I am taken aback by his words.

"Your soul, your mind, they are beautiful, Mars," Lyall continues, "I know you only see a vast, empty sea." He approaches me, still locking his gaze to mine. "But I see tranquillity. I see that your soul has so much depth, and the water you can give to people is endless. It's amazing, Mars. I sometimes think I don't deserve a soul like yours as my mate."

Lyall looks down at the anchors in his hand. The sound of iron chains rattling each other is the only music we have.

"And I told you that in the cave, remember? I couldn't believe someone like you is my mate. Regardless of your werewolf origin, the moment I felt your soul, I was certain I could never let you go easily."

"But...," I mumble through the mate bond, "...it's... it's..." I take a couple of deep breaths. I was so sure that there are a million different reasons Lyall should just leave me, that there are many reasons I will never be enough. Yet looking back at the anchors in Lyall's hand, they somehow have shrunk.

"Lyall, they took my womb," my voice is only a whisper, "I will never be able to provide you an heir."

"You've given me a beautiful daughter."

"But she's not your flesh and blood–"

"She's mine." There is a slight growl in Lyall's voice, a possessive tone that strikes out of the blue. Then his tone returns to its gentle side. "Well, unless you don't want me to be her father."

His face is crestfallen as if being my baby's father had been a joy that is now being taken away from him. Seeing him like this makes my heart bleeds with warmth. It's a weird feeling. My eyes are hot yet my chest feels light. I am utterly grateful that Lyall has loved my daughter despite not having the same blood.

"There's Sky too," Lyall says with a shrug, "We've bonded, by the way. But I don't think our people can accept Sky easily as my legal child. It's easier if we say that we adopted Sky and that our daughter is our first child."

'Our.'

"But anyway, I'm not a king anymore," he continues, "And we don't need to figure out the details now."

"What?"

I look into Lyall's emerald eyes, trying to figure out any deceit in his words. But there is only an honest gaze.

"Why?" I can barely speak the word in my own mind.

I know why. Because I told Lyall I didn't want any war. He relished his title for me. He challenged Ed to a blood duel knowing that it would be a one-sided match. Then he jumped into the deep sea of my own making just to reach out to me.

My question refers to all the things he has done for me. Why would he–

"Because you will always be worth it, Mars," Lyall answers, and I am convinced now that he can read my mind despite the crystal. "I would burn this entire world, turn the sea into land, and land into the sea, if I must, for you. There is no corner in this world I will not go to if you ask me to."

His emerald eyes burn me with gentle intensity. Does that even make sense? He is looking at me intensely, but at the same time, his gaze feels like hugging me with a warm blanket.

"But I'm..."

I am no one. Just an ordinary werewolf girl, who can't even produce pups anymore. I can't swim out of her doubts and fear. I am a broken soul who hides herself under the sea of my own making, suffocating myself. I am a pathetic loser who seems to have forgotten how to use my own magic, the only thing that makes me special. So now that I can't access that magic, I am useless to this world.

Instead of all these people dying, instead of Lyall having to do all this... wouldn't the world be a better place without me–

"No!" Lyall cries out. He approaches me, hovering in the sea just a few inches from my face. His face is a myriad of anger and sadness. His eyebrows are looped down, his lip line is down too. He looks like he is crying but his eyes have a trace of anger. It takes me about a few seconds to realize that he is actually crying. I just can't see the tears because we are under the sea.

"I know you think that you have no value to the world right now," he says, "But I need you to know that you are the one who is giving color to my world. My life is better because I met you. You are the reason I can smile again, even laugh!"

"Mars, you saw the barren field inside me. You also saw the monster within me. And instead of being terrified, you painted the barren field with beautiful things." Lyall looks around the sea we are in. "I wish I can do that to you too. But only you have such ability."

He scoffs in defeat, burying his face in one palm. "See? I'm more useless to you. I can only..." His voice trembles and it breaks my heart a bit.

Then he looks up from his palm to my eyes. "You can, Mars. You can drain this sea, or turn it red or even magenta, and you can always swim up. You can. I believe in you. And I'll stay here as long as you need me to until you are ready."

It's my turn to have my lips shiver with tears. I look at the anchors in Lyall's hand yet again. They are getting smaller. Is it because of Lyall?

"I... I..." I so badly want to say that I am ready to swim up. Looking at Lyall's kind eyes, I so badly want to do all those things Lyall said. But that's the worst part. I know I should have been able to, yet I can't. My feet won't move, my power is far away from me.

I... It's frustrating! And I know Lyall must be frustrated with me too right now. Because I am taking too long to gather myself, and even when he has sacrificed so much, I still can't...

Lyall cups one side of my face, stopping my trail of thoughts. At the same time, I look at his emerald gaze. I thought I would find disappointment there, but all I can find is comfort.

"Take your time, Mars," he whispers, "You don't owe anyone your recovery." Through the reflection on Lyall's eyes, I can see faintly my own tears leaving my eyes and become one with the sea.

"You don't owe anyone to speed up your pace. It's your body, your mind, your soul. It's your life, and it's up to you how fast or slow you want to go. I just need you to know that I will always be by your side." Lyall smiles warmly at me. "Till death do us apart."

My hands reach his face. His words... I could never thank him enough for him to say them. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry I'm like this–"

Lyall shakes his head and leans closer to me. "No. I'm sorry I let you through a lot of things alone. I'm sorry I was not fast enough. Or strong enough to save you."

Both our lips are trembling. Tears leave our eyes every second and add more to the water. Yet somehow, it's not suffocating anymore. I find myself able to breathe lightly as if I have grown gills on the side of my neck. I realize that Lyall, too, can breathe underwater easier. And now we can talk underwater.

Lyall leans down to put a gentle kiss on my lips. It makes me sob, but I welcome his warmth. I circle my arms to his neck, holding him close to me. And that's when the illusion of this perfect moment shatters.

"Lyall!" I gasp at the sight in front of me. "Your back!" His back is torn in so many places. Fresh wounds that are painting the sea –my sea– red. It must be the manifestation of his real scars in my mind. I lean back to see Lyall's face clearly. It's pale as a ghost.

It could only mean one thing. Lyall is on the losing end in the blood duel.

"You need to swim up now!" I cry out to him. Holding onto his shirt, I shake him, hoping he'll get into his senses. "Lyall, leave me and the anchors. Swim up and save yourself! Please!"

"Please!" Suddenly, it's becoming hard to breathe again. "Please... leave me–"

Lyall stops my pleading with a gentle kiss. But it only makes me sob even more.

"Take your time, Mars," he whispers. His voice is fainter now.

"But you don't have much time. You're dying!" I clutch so hard to his shirt, my hands are trembling. Then I hit his hard chest and shake my head. "Just leave me... why won't you..."

Despite my panic reaction, Lyall keeps a calm demeanor. He keeps that warm smile on his face. "My world is dead without you, anyway. Mars, I am addicted to the colors you put on my barren field. Yet it won't be wonderful scenery without you."

"Take your time, Mars," he says again while brushing my hair. "You can. And I believe in you."

I finally calm down. Those are three small sentences that seem ordinary. But... I didn't realize how much I needed them until someone said it to me. I put too much pressure on myself to be well fast enough that I didn't let myself feel sad properly. And when I realized I can't fulfill the pressure I put on myself, I sought to run away by wanting to erase my memories.

Looking at the anchors in Lyall's hand again, I realize that the doubts that have been pulling me down... are all my creation too. They are all the pressure I put on myself.

So when Lyall told me all those words I didn't think I need to validate my emotions, the anchors diminished in size.

'Take your time.'

'You can.'

'I believe in you.'

The sizes of the anchors are so small in comparison to before, that I have to blink a few times.

"I love you, Mars," he says, bringing warmth to my chest even more. "I will always love you."

I hear a faint sound of something breaking inside me. The moment I hear that sound, ripples escape from my body and it shakes the entire sea. The ripples break the chains on my feet.

The moment Lyall lets go of his hold, the anchors drop to the bottom of the sea. I look down to see those anchors that had dragged me so deep before. And... they are minuscule now.

Then I look up to the surface high above. "Ready to swim up?" Lyall asks. There is no demand in his voice. As if he is still telling me he will wait for me no matter long I need to gather the strength and courage for me to swim against my own sea.

I shake my head.

"That's okay," Lyall says, still no judgment, "Your feet are probably too tired now from all that time you've been shackled–"

"Instead of swimming," I wave my hand in the sea, "Why don't we make use of the fact that this is my world?"

A huge wave of darkness befalls us from above. Lyall looks up to see what is the large figure that is obscuring the light from above.

It's a huge whale.

The whale makes a turn and swims until it is next to us. Its eyes lock with mine then it wags its tail a bit in joy. Then it nudges Lyall on the shoulder gently. The whale is lilac in color, with colorful flower paintings on its skin. There is also a thread of golden dust surrounding the whale as if it is the goddess of the sea.

"I believe you have not met Sasha personally before," I say to Lyall.

The whale produces a dull whistle as if greeting Lyall. In response, Lyall chuckles and pats the whale on the mouth. "Hello, Sasha. Are you our ride to the surface?"

Sasha nods vehemently. Then she nudges us to hop onto her back, which we do. At this point, Lyall is too weak to move, so I am the one leading him to the whale's back. I sit him on my lap and press his wounds to stop the bleeding even for a bit.

Pursing my lips, I realize I cannot have any more hesitation now.

The moment Sasha flaunts her tail, we are moving up so fast. My chest feels lighter, my head is clearer, and though my soul will probably never be as perfect as it was before, it is stronger.

It's only when Lyall whispers, "Look, Mars," that I look down and realize, with every stroke that Sasha takes to push us up in the sea, colors emerge in this world. Colorful fishes and corals appear, creating life under the sea of my own making. Even the blue sea is of various shades now.

But what strikes me the most is the realization that those colors have always been there in the first place. I just didn't see it because I fogged all of them in my mind. And because of Lyall, I can reach out to Sasha and bring the right color to this sea of my own making.

Naver was wrong when he said there is no ultimate cure to the crystal's effect, to the illness I had to endure these past few days.

Time. Faith in myself. Support.

And love.

Perhaps I still need a bit of medication –to be determined later.

I am not perfectly healed, and maybe I need someone else's help to swim up, but I can breathe now.

And sometimes I just need one moment of fresh air... before I save the world.

***

I take a deep breath for the first time after what seems like a long time. My eyes open to the bloody sight in front of me.

I am not surprised to see Ed is winning. He has Lyall on the floor, breathing hard, and bleeding profusely. Lyall's face is pale. But his gaze to me, who is still sitting on the floor behind Ed, is... happy.

Lyall closes his eyes as Ed approaches him. He seems content to die now knowing that I have swum up. He drops his hand as if all strength has left him. He can't fight anymore.

Slowly, I stand up.

'My dear husband,' I tell him through our bond. Nothing is blocking it any longer. 'I'm afraid I can't let you die peacefully now. You have vowed to be stuck with me for the rest of your life, after all."

Lyall smiles faintly, which irritates Ed, who still has his back against me, even more.

–to be continued–