–Lyall–

A few months ago, I wondered why Mars would look at a baby with such an adoring expression, even when it was not her own child. But now I understand why. As I play with Baby Mars–that's what I am going to call her for now until Mars tells me her name–I can see the charm that babies have.

They are just so... pure, so innocent. You can't help but want to protect them at all costs, to shield them from the horrible world. The way they look at you with their big eyes is as crystal clear as their souls.

"Baby Mars," I whisper to the giggling baby, "You're mine, okay? You're my daughter."

She grasps my forefinger and clutches it tightly. Her blue eyes are practically glowing as if they contain the secrets of the universe. Why would Ed let Mars give away such a perfect baby?

"Your mother gave you to us, so she trusts me more in taking care of you than that son-of-a-bitch of a vampire–" I click my tongue. "Pardon my language, Princess, it has been a stressful few days for me. Every second I am not with your mother is driving me even crazier."

The baby smiles at me, especially when I say, "I'm going to get your mother back."

Earlier, I shocked my own kingdom with the sudden execution of Albus and Nari. Then I stripped the entire Stronghold family from their ranks. Of course, the Stronghold faction is enraged, but the fact that Adina used fertile females to gain dark magic has left them speechless with no rebuttals. They knew what Adina was doing, yet they stayed still when lycan females were being kidnapped left and right.

Everyone who gathered in the market to see the execution could probably tell I had a cold rage brewing inside me. To the people that contributed to separating me from Mars, I did not hold back. I made sure that everyone could see and hear what would happen to themselves if they ever cross me by hurting Mars. With my own hands, I tortured Albus and Nari, then I killed them agonizingly slow. I can see the head of the Stronghold family peeing himself at the sight of Albus and Nari.

After the event in the market, I shocked my people even more with my resignation. I gave the crown to Athena, telling my people that from the beginning Athena was the rightful heir due to our time of birth. Without hearing what my people had to say, I stormed off from the podium to visit Baby Mars.

My perfect daughter.

I have blood splattered on my face and neck. But Baby Mars only needs to look at my green eyes and her entire face lit up. It's like she has been waiting excitedly to meet me.

"Oh, she's awake," Jen says. She has been the one taking care of Baby Mars; making sure she is fed, warm, and comfortable. It must be tiring to keep watch of this little person but Jen doesn't complain. "It's time we feed her again, then." Because of Jen, we have a werewolf mother willing to give her breast milk to Baby Mars. Jen then feeds Baby Mars every three to four hours.

While Jen goes to grab a milk bottle, I stay with Baby Mars.

"Baby Mars," I ask her, "It was you who brought back Mars from the dead, wasn't it? Mars's blood was able to resurrect Sky so... You, in that tiny body of yours, are capable of amazing things just like Mars, huh?"

She only smiles.

I put my forehead on the flat surface of the crib. Then I play peek-a-boo with her for a while, making her smile wider.

"Baby Mars," I say, "I promise you will be treated like a princess –even if I am no longer the king. I promise you can explore your maximal potential here. We will help you. Since you have magic in your blood, we're going to cultivate your potential there. Unlike your mother, we can help you control and grow your magic from an early age. If you're interested in being a warrior, I'll force Athena to help you. But even if you choose to do nothing at all, it's fine too. Your life will always be taken care of from now on. You don't need to worry about anything. Just grow well and be happy."

I brush her thin hair with my other hand. It's so soft, and it reminds me more of Mars.

"Daughter," I whisper to Baby Mars, "I'll be going now." I smile back at her, then after tucking her under the blanket, I get out of the room at the same time Jen arrives with breastmilk inside a bottle.

Jen looks at me as if she knows what I am about to do. We started off on the wrong foot but now we both have a look of understanding. She pats my shoulder and says, "Go get her back, young man." And I smile back as a reply.

It's already dark at night when I decide to go back to that bloody pack. Despite not having the crown any longer, warriors still bow when I pass them and everyone still addresses me as King. My warriors open the gate for me and a blacksmith even gives me his most treasured sword, which I take with a smile even though I won't be able to use it.

I walk outside the gate and into the forest alone. It doesn't take long before the shadows under me intensify. The shadows then form the body of a young boy who looks like me.

"Take me back to that awful pack, will you?" I ask Sky. The boy has changed into a clean set of clothes. Although I can still smell the tinge of iron on his skin.

"Are you sure about the blood duel?" The boy waves his hand in the air and in no time, the shadows wrap us in darkness. Our bodies seem to be sucked by the earth and in just one blink, we appear on the other end of the forest.

Just a few miles from where we are standing, behind the tall bushes and skinny trees, we can see the gate to the Moon Chaser pack. There are four spots of light, which are the four guards patrolling the gate.

"Hmm," is all I can answer to Sky.

A blood duel is a sacred duel between two people to fight to the death or until one surrenders. Unlike war where everything is possible, a blood duel must only be done between the two participants. In the beginning, each participant would swear with their own blood, called the blood pact, that they have made sure no one shall interfere with their duel, and that whatever the result of the duel, it can never be the reason to incite war. Also, the bet shall be seen by both participants during the duel. This means that if Ed and I are betting for Mars, she will need to be present to watch the duel.

"What if Ed doesn't agree to the blood duel?" We both only watch the gate from afar for a while. "And you coming here alone without an army or even a title to your name can justify Ed killing you the moment he sees you."

"He'll agree," I have no doubt when I say this, "Because he is much stronger than me. He can kill me with his werewolf strength multiplied by his vampire power."

Sky turns his head to face me. "Then... why?"

I catch his gaze. "I only need to be near Mars for a little while. The blood duel is my ulterior motive. While Ed and I fight to the death, I am hoping to do something crazy. Naver said there is no cure to the effect of the crystal. But... I need to try something."

"At the cost of your life?"

I nod.

For a while Sky is quiet. Then he looks down to the forest floor and whispers, "I'm sorry." His voice shakes a little and I hear the sound of a small tear dropping to the ground. "I put Mars there. I thought... she would be safe. And she was safe... she needed surgery... But I didn't know this would happen–"

"It's not your fault, Sky," I say, cutting the boy off. Then I look up to the moon above us. The moon is imperfect, it's a thin crescent moon. But the white glow is superb, especially because there are almost no stars in the sky above us.

"I think this is meant to happen," I say, "The more I think about it, I think I was cursed like I was for a reason, for me to meet Mars, for Mars to help me... and eventually I will help her. I think, deep down, she always feels inadequate even when she doesn't show it, even when she has achieved so many things. And the crystal just amplifies it. I should have let her know how much I appreciate her... how much I love her."

I scoff to cover the crack in my voice. My eyes have become hot.

"Now I need to do so more than ever. I will let her know without breaking her."

I look down at the boy. "I also think this is all part of the Moon Goddess's plan."

"Do you believe in the Moon Goddess?" Sky asks.

Shrugging casually, I say, "I do. And I've been praying to her intensely last night for her to help Mars."

"Lyall...," Sky's voice trails, "If you agree to a blood duel, I can't help you because it will be a breach of the blood pact."

"I know."

"He's stronger than you," Sky continues, "And he has some vampire-ish magic, that hypnotic thingy or whatever."

"I know."

"I think I can get Mars back with my power–"

Before he can finish, I say, "There's something keeping Mars in the pack. Athena is probably right. Ed is threatening to kill someone to keep Mars in the pack. If you take Mars away just like that and then Ed kills that person... I'm afraid Mars will totally break. She won't be able to come back to herself if that happens."

Sky blinks. He understands my logic. But his eyes look frustrated as if he doesn't like the truth being said out loud. I can understand his feelings. I, too, don't like the way things are at the moment.

"Why not let me do the blood duel then?"

"No, Sky," I answer without a doubt in my mind, "This is something I have to do myself. Ed will not accept the blood duel if you're the one offering it."

"But you will–"

Sky can't say it. But I know that the word stuck in his throat is, 'die.' I will die on Ed's hand.

I give him a weak smile. Then I brush his hair gently. This will probably be the last time I can do this to this boy. I quite wish that we could have more time. After getting to know him more, he isn't that bad after all. He is actually a sweet boy, who would go beyond necessary for someone he loves. Sky might be made of shadows, but his heart must be a pretty warm place. He just needs people that would accept him as he is and guide him out of the shadows and into the light.

Sadly, I can't do that to him anymore.

"Take care of my daughter and Mars, alright?" My voice croaks at the end, so I cough a little to mask it.

Sky's big eyes waver. Tears have pooled in his dark eyes. There is a thin red line on the rim of his pupil, which makes him look unique.

We stare at each other for the longest time. I keep my hand on his head and Sky doesn't even protest one bit. That's how far we have grown on each other in a short time.

And that's how far the world will let us.

Because after I take a deep breath and a long exhale, I turn to the gate's direction and walk to get the woman I love. My soulmate. My light in the dark. My Little Muse.

I need to try to at least reach for her, to save her from herself.

Even if it will be for the last time.

.

.

.

–Mars–

I was happy before the war broke. I felt safe with Ed and I was even excited when I found out that I was pregnant.

So, things shouldn't be too bad now, right?

I grieved for him for so long and now that he's back... I can try to be happy again, right?

My daughter should be safe in the Lycan Kingdom, with the people I trust to raise her. She can grow well and there will be no limitations on what she can be.

So, I should be able to live here peacefully, right?

Right?

But I can't.

Looking at the window in Ed's room, I stare at nothingness. I have been sitting and watching the window since I woke up in the morning. My mind is an endless spiral of darkness, with doubts pouring into a storm inside me. It feels like I am not me at all, but at the same time, this is the raw me. All I can think of is how insufficient I am, how worthless I am, and how I was so naïve to think that I was good enough for a lot of things when I never was.

I can't be pregnant anymore. So I am a lesser female now.

I can't be with the people I love. And they do not need me to move on.

I can't go against Ed's words without endangering the pack and the vampire clan. I am such a rotten, selfish human because I thought of just letting them all die so I can go back to the Lycan Kingdom.

I can't control my own power, let alone understand the extent of it. Even though I attended the academy. It's like I just lost the ability. Something is broken inside me, and I just know that I can't be fixed.

I can't even get out of my own thoughts in my head.

I am such a pathetic, idiot, loser.

I deserve to die...

Broken. I hear the sound of cracks spreading on the glass inside my mind. The cracks are getting bigger. And soon I will be forever broken.

Yet my cowardly self still wants a chance at happiness, it still wants to save myself from being broken to pieces. It hurts so much, and if this goes on, I know I will get to a point of no return. I don't know how to stop the regrets, the pain, and the doubts from forming all the time.

I know. I know that it's the crystal. It's not really me. Maybe all the thoughts forming in my mind are not real. Maybe all the worries and doubts are just my illusion.

But it hurts... it's hard... to breathe. I am only hurting myself at this point, every second, every moment I realize that I can't fight back the crystal effect.

And I know I will break soon.

So when Ed finally arrives back to the room with a disgruntled face, I finally move my head to face him. There are streaks of tears on my cheeks. My gaze is empty.

"Can you erase my memory?" My voice comes out as a plea. And right after, my tears break. "I don't want to keep feeling like this. But it won't go away unless I forget them."

Ed's bothered face turns into a smile when he hears my suggestion. I wonder what was troubling him.

Though it shouldn't matter as I have decided to forget everything.

"Of course, Mars," Ed says, "Anything for you."

–to be continued–