–Mason–

I was an asshole. A huge jackass. I admit that.

When the war with the vampires broke, I led our warriors to march for the battle. My wife, at the time, was Gina. She was always the quiet flower, the perfect Luna, actually. Her only flaw was that she could never conceive. And the bastard I was back then thought that she was no use to me if she could not deliver my pups. I knew she knew how I felt about her. I made it clear to her I was not happy with her infertility.

And... Goddess, thinking about it now, even I would like to kill the man I was.

I told her that if she still could not conceive in a year, I would reject her and take another as a mate and Luna despite her being my fated mate.

When she asked if she could march along with the warriors, I immediately figured that she was planning to go rogue. She planned to run away while we, the warriors, are busy fighting.

Good riddance, I thought. It would save me from the hassle of rejecting her publicly and choosing her replacement. She had been a textbook wife, but I needed a fertile female. I thought the bond between us was a sign that she was the chosen female from the Goddess for me, so I naturally thought she would be fertile. But she was barren as a desert.

During the march, she would help clean and cook for the warriors, which truly saved a lot of time and energy for us. She would wake up at dawn to clean our sheets and cook, then she would stay up late with the warriors on guard to wash the dishes. I didn't care if she was exhausted. I was waiting for her to run away, to be gone from my life.

On the first day of battle, she ran away while I led my warriors against the vampires. I remembered going into battle thinking how shallow she was being for choosing to run away while the men fought hard.

Again, I thought it was good riddance. I didn't need a mute infertile female as my Luna.

I guess the Goddess punished me that day. Because my warriors were losing against the vampires. So we retreated into the forest. We dispersed ourselves to make it harder for those bloodsuckers to find us. One vampire caught up to my small group of three. That vampire killed my warriors, and he severed my spine, causing me unable to move at all. I thought it was finally the end for me. I felt it was unfair, and I felt pure rage for not being able to lead my warriors to victory.

Above all, I felt anguish at not being able to protect my pack. Once the alpha is gone, my pack will be vulnerable. And these bloodsuckers who live just one forest away have targeted my pack for years. Vampires think werewolves' blood is the most delicious, so they have been kidnapping our children in the dark of the night.

Children.

We already had a hard time trying to reproduce, and those monsters dared to snatch the precious children from us.

I imagined the cries of my people, decorated with blood and fire when the vampires finally get to them. I felt like a failure.

But no matter hard I try to move, my stupid body won't listen to me. So I closed my eyes when I saw the vampire raising his hand in order to sever my neck next. I waited for the merciful death.

That death didn't come. Instead, I felt a gush of wind and a piercing feeling in my chest. When I opened my eyes again, I saw my wife had torn apart the vampire's neck in her grey wolf form. I didn't even know that she had a fighter side to her. She always appeared soft and weak.

She turned to me... That was the first time I saw the fierceness in her eyes. She looked at my unmoving body with judging eyes. We never shared anything through our bond, but that day, she knocked on my mental barrier just to let me know, "So, the fierce Alpha Mason is finally paralyzed completely."

My eyes widened at her words. With the vampire's blood still dripping from her mouth, she looked like she was about to kill me next. I knew she had hatred for me, but I never thought she would be capable of hurting me.

What a twist of fate.

'You must be happy,' I said, mocking her through our mind link, 'to finally be able to kill me.'

For the longest seconds, she only stared at me. When I thought she would kill me, instead, she dragged my limp werewolf body to a nearby cave. The day would turn into night soon, and beasts other than the vampires would start their hunt. To make it worse, it was raining. And it was autumn.

"Stay in your werewolf form for tonight," she said, "You'll be warmer like this. She then left the cave. Just like that. I wanted to laugh, but I was paralyzed from head to toe. I was angry that out of all the ways I could die... this was the one she chose for me.

But Gina came back with a backpack in her mouth. Her eyes pierced through me every time we held each other's gazes. It was like she had millions of things she wanted to say to me now that I can't do anything. She dropped the backpack near my feet and walked back into the forest. I was sure that this time she wouldn't come back.

Why would she?

Yet she came back in her human form carrying dry sticks and a bottle of water. "Change into your human form for a while," she said, "I'll clean you up first."

I transformed as she told me to. All the time, I kept waiting for her to do something to me. With the amount of hatred bubbling in her eyes, she must want me to hurt.

"I hate you, Mason," she said, reading my mind. I forgot that we had opened our bond for the first time that day. "I hate that you're my mate."

She helped me drink from the bottle. Then she tore a part of her clothing and used it to wash my wounds. She also addressed my wounds with healing herbs she found in the forest. I didn't even know that she was a skilled healer. It occurred to me that I knew nothing of her.

'Then why help me?' I asked her through the mind link. It sucked to not be able to talk, to use my voice.

She didn't answer. That night, she positioned me at the depth of the cave, lit up a fire to warm our bodies, and cooked porridge with ingredients and utensils she had stashed in the backpack. I could only watch the entire time.

Why was she doing all this for me? I kept asking that question.

She fed me one spoonful at a time. She even blew the porridge first before giving it to me. I was so hungry that I didn't hesitate to gulp everything she gave me. Only when I saw there were two spoonfuls left in the bowl did I ask her, 'What about you?'

"I'm used to not eating at night," she said. Then she tilted her head, considering that I couldn't talk back, she added, "You do know that your omega liked to skip my meals, right? That he would only cook for you and your betas in your house? There were days he even forgot that I was his Luna."

I could only blink.

"I should have let you taste what hunger feels like." That was the first time she spoke so much to me. I never knew that she had to skip meals in my own house. She shoved the last two spoonfuls of porridge to me roughly. Still, I swallowed every bit of food I could take.

Then she took a watch for the entire night. It baffled me... truly. Why would she even make sure of my safety? She was awake the entire night. It was as if she had done this before.

'There were days I couldn't sleep in your house,' she told me. She had read my mind through the bond. I couldn't close the bond because it was the only way for me to communicate with her.

'Why?' My house was the safest place in our pack.

A memory flashed through her mind, and with our open bond, I caught glimpses of the horror she felt in my house. I even had to blink several times before I could finally accept what she had gone through. My delta had sexually assaulted her in a drunk state on one of our celebratory nights.

"Do you know why it happened?" she looked at me with tears in her eyes, "Because the pack always undermines women's voices. Because you let it be a habit for men in our pack to take whatever they want from the women. And us, women, couldn't even get proper education!"

Her voice was full of passion. "You once called me a feeble brain. Well, whose fault was that? It was yours and your father's and your grandfather's!"

I never heard her so angry like this. All I could do that night was stare at her.

She then sighed. "I'm only staying until you are no longer paralyzed. With both my wolf and your wolf trying to heal you, the process would be two times faster. Then I will be gone from your sight for eternity."

I sensed sadness in her voice, but all I asked was, 'Why do you help me at all?'

"It's the bond," she clutched her chest, "I hate it. But I can't help wanting to help you help the entire pack too. I am still their Luna, after all."

That night, I had a high fever from the open wounds. Gina took care of me. She even took off her entire clothes just so I could be warmer at the expense of her shivering the entire night.

In the morning, she dragged me with her small body to the second site my warriors and I had decided if things went rogue. The warriors were shocked to see my condition. Gina easily took control by saying that Mason could only mind link to her as we need to keep our bond open until I am healed. So, all of my orders would come through her.

I was surprised by how naturally she fit in the role as my substitute. She didn't even flinch, didn't lower her head as she used to. I realized that there had always been a bright ember inside her, and I snuffed her fire just because she was a woman.

My warriors questioned her authority at first because of her gender. But the way she used her words, the way she acted, made the warriors believe that she was truly channeling my messages. She knew who to approach to benefit her, and who to intimidate to keep her authority. Ed became one of her biggest supporters while I couldn't move.

However, the truth was, most of everything was all her doing. I did ask her to pass along some things, especially during strategy meetings. But... even before I needed to tell her, she was quick-witted enough to lead the meeting and conclude our strategies.

I was impressed. I never thought... a woman could do all this.

I had multiple fevers during those days. And even though she didn't need to, she always made sure I was warm. She even knew how I liked my socks to be tucked and my favorite sleeping position. I guess she liked taking care of the paralyzed me because it was a chance for her to keep reminding me how helpless I was back then.

"You saw what this feeble brain could do, right? I solved the food problem and we have a solid plan to defeat the vampires now," she bragged one night. This became her favorite thing to do. To brag about all the amazing things she accomplished during the day without me. "The warriors might think that it was all you. But I want you to never forget that I, this useless wife of yours, am the one who made all this possible. I want you to always remember that without me, you and your warriors would have crumbled to dust."

At first, I tried to put her down because the way she bragged about herself irritated me. But as the days passed, I found myself not minding it. 'You were amazing today,' I told her one night. 'The pack will forever be in your debt.'

She froze right then. I never praised her. Not even once. And for the first time, I found how it was such a shame that I took this gem in front of me for granted. I had a brilliant mind and soul next to me for years, yet I labeled her a burden because she couldn't conceive my pup.

'I'm sorry I treated you horribly.' Seeing her only blink in surprise as a response pierced my heart. I thought it was sad that she needed time to accept my honest words.

With her back turned to me, she whispered, "Don't apologize. I wasn't innocent either." Her voice was bitter when she said, "I robbed you of the chance of having an heir. I had been drinking anticoncepcional pills."

'Why?' I was surprised. But more than that, I was sad.

"Because you treated me like I was nothing. And you let your people walk over me too," she said without looking at me. "So I wanted to make sure that the one thing you only ever needed me for, you wouldn't get it from me."

"You must be angry at me now."

Honestly, I thought I would be angry too. But all I could feel was being stabbed by multiple poisonous arrows. The poisons spread slowly, causing pain with every second passing. I didn't feel angry. I felt insurmountable regret.

'I guess I deserve that,' I said, to her surprise. She finally turned to me and I could see her glittering eyes.

"You've... changed," she whispered under the dim candlelight. It baffled me that I never realized how beautiful she was before I had gone limp. Her wavy brown hair framed her brown skin beautifully. Her oriental eyes had incredible strength within them. Her nose was small yet long, her eyelashes are thick, and her lips are plump. She had an exotic beauty to her, and I foolishly overlooked that, too.

'I have.'

The conversation that night ended there. But I always thought that that night was the axial point of change in our relationship.

After a while, I could regain my arms and voice slowly but surely. Yet when I saw how alive Gina was for the first time, leading my warriors, I chose to hold back my tongue. I let her take charge longer. Also, I wanted my warriors to see how amazing she was until the end. It took quite an effort to hide my condition from her since our bond was still open, but I managed.

Ed found out about me letting Gina take charge as she saw fit because I told him the truth. I asked him to keep supporting her, to keep being her right-hand man while the entire pack thought I was still paralyzed. "She had been a quiet flower for long enough. This time, she is blooming and I don't want to cut her stem yet. I don't mind being the quiet flower for now. She has been doing amazing. Much more amazing than any of you would have done."

From one male to another, Ed looked at me that night and asked, "Have you fallen for her?"

And I answered, "Yes."

My healing took almost a month, which was longer than both Gina and I expected. During that time, we kept the vampires from trying to advance to our territory using Gina's brilliant guerrilla tactic. She even kidnapped a vampire, doused herself in vampire blood, and walked through a vampire camp to find out their plans, then killed the entire camp after sending a false message to other vampire camps to not raise any suspicion like it was nothing. Then, when she got back to our camp, she raised my entire warriors' morale, she gave encouragement to the wounded, and she held an impactful ceremony for our dead warriors.

I saw her true strength, her true capability. Her ferociousness, her drive, her amazing leadership skill. Her empathy, her limitless care toward others. I also saw her bond with my warriors, I saw her laugh freely. I saw her entire true self.

She was perfect. Just the way she was.

No, she was more than perfect. She was a gift.

And it took me to be completely paralyzed to see that. The Goddess had to force me to open my eyes and ears, rob me from talking and from doing anything, to finally appreciate this amazing person.

I fell in love with her. Truly.

The mate bond between us always made me want her. That was why I used to block our connection because wanting her body all the time would only distract me from my duties.

But at that moment, I wanted... to be part of her soul. I wanted to collect her smiles and laughter. I wanted to pick the stars for her to wear as her crown. I felt like I could fight the entire world just for her. And that I owed the world to her.

I wanted to make a better world for her to keep laughing like that.

It saddened me that if she found out my condition was better, she would flee from me. On one side, I understood her desire to be free of me, the man who had treated her horribly, the leader of a pack that devalued gems like her. But... was it too late for me to change? Was it too late for me to change the pack?

A sudden attack on our camp by the vampires almost cost Gina her life. So, I finally broke out of my ruse and fought off every single vampire who dared to approach her. When the entire pack found out about my recovery, they rejoiced. With high morale, we fought for two days and two nights.

And we won.

The only thing we needed to do then was to find the Vampire King and kill him to end the months of battle. But when my warriors were hunting the Vampire King, I went the other direction... I chased after Gina.

I felt her cutting off our bond and leaving the pack in the middle of our fight with the vampires. Right after we had won, I rushed to run in my wolf form to chase her scent. I just... I needed her to hear me first. It broke my heart that she still chose to run away from me, but... I only had myself to blame.

Her scent stopped at one place near Eclipse Lake. When I saw her brown hair, I felt a huge relief washing over me.

"Gina, please... listen to me–"

She was not alone.

The Vampire King had her as a hostage. He laughed when he saw me. "Your female said that you wouldn't come. But look who's here." He grabbed her neck with his long claws. "Oh, if you try anything silly, I will slit this gorgeous lady's neck."

"You have the wrong person as a hostage," Gina says. Her face betrays nothing.

"Do I?" The Vampire King tilts his head. "It seems like I have the right person, though. Just look at his panicked eyes. Oh, is this a one-sided love?"

Right then, Ed lunged at the Vampire King in his wolf form.

...

"Then what happened?" My heart races wildly at the mention of my ex-husband. I was never told in detail how he died in the battle. Hearing it feels like stabbing myself with needles, but I need to hear it.

Mason gulps. "Ed saved Gina from the Vampire King. He bit the vampire's neck. But at the same time, the vampire was clawing through Ed's neck, too. It was a battle of will. And in the end, Ed managed to break the Vampire King's neck."

I stare at him in stillness, waiting for him to continue. "Then what happened?" The story surely doesn't end there, right? Because Gina is supposed to be dead along with my husband.

Alpha Mason seemed uncomfortable, but eventually, he said, "Why don't I let him tell you himself?"

What?

My heart stops beating.

Right then, a knock is heard from the door. "Come in," Mason replies to the knock.

Everything seems to be in slow motion from here on out. The clicking sound of the doorknob being turned, the screeching sound of the floor being stepped on.

My eyes move ever so slowly without blinking. I first see the dark boots, then the dark trousers and dark shirt covering a warrior's body.

That familiar jawline and lips, that beautiful nose I always adored, and those deep blue eyes I used to find myself drowning in. His skin looks paler than I remembered. His hair has turned white too. But the way he walks and the way he stands...

I can't breathe. I can't move.

Nothing makes sense.

The man who just entered smiles at me. His eyes glittered with longing. "Hello, Mars."

My chest feels stuffy and it hurts when I let a sob out of my throat. "Edward," I whisper his name.

–to be continued–