Everything sounds loud and quiet at the same time. It's loud because I can feel myself screaming at the top of my lungs. But it's quiet because my ears seem to not register my own voice.

I don't even care how my throat has started hurting. This pain needs to be let out of my body. Yet no matter how loud and long I have screamed, the pain won't stop. There's only so much I can take.

On top of that, the fear of not knowing what to do is pushing my mind to the edge. Tears fall from both of my eyes. My entire body is shaking. I don't have any energy left to fight Adina's shadows. This monster of a woman has stopped strangling me, but she keeps one hand on my belly.

It hurts. Oh, it hurts so much.

It feels like someone is clawing my belly multiple times, digging through my flesh and bone, slowly and methodically, making sure I feel every pain each movement causes. The worst is having to feel that kind of pain in my lower belly. My mind is conjuring images of long, sharp nails digging through my womb and reaching for my kid.

No... not her. Please don't let her get hurt.

My consciousness is slipping away from me with every second the pain blazes through my body.

"Nari has done well," Adina says.

What?

"The dress," she continues, "When Nari told me you're going to wear my dress, I was furious. But then I thought, 'Oh, this is an opportunity for me.' With the right amount of cursed diamonds, I can block your connection with your mate."

I have grown too tired to keep on screaming. My entire body is limp. If it isn't for the shadows hanging me on the tree, I don't think I would be standing right now. Sweat drenches my body from head to toe. And while the pain never ceases, my body has stopped responding to it for some moments.

The only thing keeping me awake right now is my will to make sure that my baby is fine. I can't close my eyes and give up on the pain without making sure she will survive.

"Why are you... doing this?" I ask with a croaking voice.

Seconds later, a huge contraction in my belly appears like a sudden bomb drop. It spreads from my womb to my entire belly and lower back. It hurts like hell and since it takes me by surprise, I gasp and forget to breathe. Then the burning sensation radiates like a wildfire all over my body, especially in my pelvic area. The pain digs deep into my bone, it spreads fire to each nerve in my body.

What scares me more is that something feels like it's trying to get out of my body.

No...

I sob right then. Not even caring about Adina laughing at my tears and calling me ugly as I cry.

This is the scariest moment of my life. I am not ready to give birth now. I should still have a few weeks before–

My water just broke. Right then and there. And I sob even louder because I have no more energy to scream. The water pours out of me, drenching my thighs and down to my boots, mixed with blood.

My lips shiver in fear. In pain. In desperateness.

"What the...?" I hear Adina's tone change. So I look down in the direction of her gaze. Right where she touches my belly, a white glow appears. The white light seems to spread from my belly to her hand, covering her entire fingers and spreading to her arm. When the light touches Adina's skin, I can feel her hand tensing. Her fingers flex in an awkward manner as if there is some force that is twisting her hand. With more light spreading on her skin, the more her fingers bend strangely, and eventually, her arm seems to twist weirdly too. Not only that, her shadows are starting to weaken.

I blink, making sure that I am not seeing things.

Adina's eyes open wide. She, too, doesn't believe what she is seeing. Her pupils move with disbelief, her lips curl in an annoyed manner. "What is this?" she mutters.

I can only blink as an answer.

"What have you done?" Her voice is raised in an angry tone. "How dare a lowly life like you–"

Just then, something I never thought could happen, happens.

A flash of darkness sweeps Adina from the side. The shadows holding me up disappear completely, and her hand that was on my belly is now nowhere near. The pain instantly subsides in a drastic manner. Though I can still feel a dull burning feeling on my lower belly.

I slump to the ground. With the remaining energy I can muster, I force my trembling hands to hold up my weight with difficulty, trying to lessen the impact the fall would bring to my stomach. I breathe easier when my body stops falling without crushing my stomach. But the next second, another huge contraction takes my body like a storm.

Dear Goddess, it burns. It feels like there is hell living inside me. The water keeps on pouring out of me like a waterfall. At this rate, my water would be depleted fast. My baby needs to be delivered before it happens. The longer I wait, the worse the prognosis is for my child.

My mind races with thoughts of possible infection, bleeding complications, and worse, the possibility of my baby not being able to be delivered on time for her to adapt and survive.

All those thoughts make me forget about what happened to Adina. With one hand on my belly, I listen to the baby's heart rate, making sure it is still normal. My other hand reaches for the knife I had dropped on the forest floor. Clutching to the dagger, I force all of my senses to return to me.

Keep yourself awake, Mars. Don't sleep. You need to deliver the baby first.

I sit on the forest floor with my legs open, with my back on the tree Adina used to hold me. That one shadow that was holding my hand is no longer anywhere I can find. From the corner of my eyes, however, I see wolves fighting against Adina. One of the wolves, a big black wolf, is basked in the shadows. And Adina seems to struggle, which is weird. Her entire arm that was on my belly is now limp on her side. It looks like all of her muscles on that arm are gone, leaving only skin and bone.

What happened?

Could it be that the light from my belly causes Adina to lose control of her power?

But how could that be?

That black wolf howls to the full moon. With his voice, the shadows that were under Adina's control shifted to the wolf's side. They circle the black wolf and enter the wolf's body, making the wolf grow bigger. Its eyes become red and dark smoke is leaking out from its mouth.

Oh no...

My heart drops to the ground when I recognize those wolves. It's Mason and his two betas.

No, no, no...

Just when Mason lunges at Adina, another contraction comes. I am taken back to my reality. Adina and Mason are not my priority right now. My child is.

Taking a deep breath, I remember all the training I have had on giving birth. My hands grab the tree branch tightly to the point of crushing them. I close my mouth, take another deep breath, and I force myself to keep on breathing deep and fast.

My hands move as fast as they can, while trembling, to tear my pants in order to give way for my baby to come out. The blood soaking my pants makes the fabric sticky and a little hard to peel off. It's not a neat job, but with two slashes, my pants and part of my top are torn.

Then, when the next contraction occurs, I don't hold back. I drop the knife again and let out a guttural cry as I push my child out with the remaining energy I have left. My head tilts to the night sky, trying to keep my airway open. The last thing I see is the full moon above me.

I think for that one second, I have prayed more to the Moon Goddess than I ever have in my life. Tears streak my cheeks as I repeatedly beg for the Moon Goddess to let my child live.

That's all I ask.

Let her live.

Between the contractions, I make sure to keep my breathing deep and fast while closing my mouth. Sasha is crying inside from all the pain, but she is giving me her all as well. We both put our priorities on saving the baby. Putting one hand on my belly, I again listen to my baby's heart rate and try to find out her position.

No...

It takes me several blinks to finally reach an objective conclusion.

No... NO...

My baby's heart rate has dropped significantly. And her head has retracted to above my pelvic inlet. In medical terms, there is a loss of station. When a baby is ready to be delivered, the head will descend through the pelvic inlet, out of the womb, and out of the vagina. A loss of station is when the baby has descended, yet before she is able to get out of the womb, something pulls the baby back. Furthermore, the contraction I feel is decreasing, though the pain in my stomach keeps on increasing.

Bleeding while delivering, decreasing fetal heart rate, stomach pain, and retracted fetal position.

In medical terms; antepartum hemorrhage, fetal bradycardia, and loss of station.

I sob as the healer in me knows what this is. My mind remembers the pain Adina caused to my stomach. I now understand what she did.

Adina wounded my uterus with her magic. And with the subsequent strong contractions, the wound becomes a tear. A big enough opening can cause the baby to be expelled out from the womb, but in the wrong direction, hence the loss of station.

Taking a deep breath through the pain, I slap myself mentally.

Get yourself together, Mars. What would you do as a healer if you find a woman in labor having a uterine rupture?

I would ease the woman's pain and do immediate delivery of the baby because the longer the baby is left in a ruptured uterus, the more dangerous it is.

Then what if we can't do immediate normal delivery?

Letting out a long breath, I calm myself, as the answer is so clear in my head. My hand reaches for the knife next to me. Gripping it hard, I look up to the full moon.

Let her live, I plead again to the Moon Goddess.

Then I carve my lower stomach. I scream at the full moon above me, while I force my body to not move an inch. I need to make sure that the incision is deep and long enough. My tears won't stop flowing. So does the blood won't stop pouring out on my thighs and out of my stomach. My wedding dress is completely ruined at this point, all torn up and bloodied.

Once I reach the right side of my stomach, I drop the knife because I don't have any energy left to carve myself. Still sobbing, I force my trembling hands to reach inside my stomach and, for the first time... I hold my baby in my hands.

I can't stop crying as I take her out of my womb and put her on my upper stomach. I can't register any pain anymore. It all feels numb at this point, and the sheer will to make sure my baby is safe is the only thing making my arms move.

I can't even fathom how much blood I have lost tonight. All I can think of is to make sure my baby is warm enough on this dark night. So I hold her close to my chest and pinch her stomach gently.

My heart could explode with happy tears when she cries in my arms. Her skin is red, with some white-yellowish mucus, which is normal. Her muscle tone is good, and she looks like she has a good weight on her. Seeing these things brings a smile to my face.

She is a healthy baby girl.

And I... love her so much.

But I am so... so... sorry, my baby girl. I can't be with you anymore...

My eyes are growing heavy as my heart is crushed to pieces at the realization of what's coming. My arms are already limp at my sides.

Shadows wrap around my hand, giving me warmth during this chilly night. I guess Mason and Sky's shadows have won against Adina. Without wasting any time, I reach out to Sky and beg him to save my child. I don't even stop to think about how it is possible for me to communicate with his shadows. But I can and I beg him over and over.

Then I beg Sky to let my baby know when she is old enough these exact words:

'I am so sorry, my love.' Sasha whimpers inside me. She, too, knows that it is time. 'Mother loves you so much.'

My baby cries louder than before. So I apologize to her again, because I can't soothe her.

'Mother will always love you.'

.

.

.

"Death is not the end, your soul continues."

.

.

.

I never thought about what it would be like to die. Would there be a warm light picking us up from the world and delivering us to the Moon Goddess? Or would there be only endless darkness?

Is there life after death?

Well, for me, there is a light. But it's not warm. It's too bright, and it hurts my eyes, so I close them until my eyes can adapt to the light. When they do, the light somehow resembles an LED light.

Hold on...

I blink a few times slowly. My face is wrinkled up, trying hard to keep my eyes open.

Then I hear noises next to me. My head turns to the left, where I see a young girl dressed in a healer garb gasping when she sees me awake. From her scent, I can tell she is a werewolf. And she looks familiar.

She has both of her hands on her mouth, her eyes are wide open in surprise. Then she jumps back and runs out of the room. I can hear her voice calling out names.

Wait... room...

My eyes travel to the entire room. It feels familiar. The white walls and the smell of alcohol mixed with blood. I look down at where I am lying. It's hard and familiar.

I am lying on an operation table in the operation room. Blinking my eyes a few times, I let out a mocking laugh.

Is this an insult to me from the Goddess?

Is it not enough to let me die in the forest that she has to drag me to my pack's operating table and feel what those women felt right after giving birth in a misogynistic society?

On top of that, I am sure the pack won't save me. They would try if they think I am a fertile female. But... the rupture on my womb and the way I cut myself... I am pretty sure it was a huge rupture, and that my womb is unsalvageable.

I can no longer reproduce. And any healers in the pack would know this.

And thus... I am of no value to the pack.

The sound of music beats loudly outside of the room. It's obvious that there is a celebration going on. I don't need to guess that the pack is celebrating the birth of a werewolf pup.

My eyes grow heavy again as I tell myself that this is what Jen's daughter must have felt. To be forgotten on the operation table while the entire pack is celebrating. My body feels so weak, so helpless. It's so... unfair... Jen's daughter could have lived too and she could celebrate her child's birth too if only our pack valued women more.

Why does the Moon Goddess torture me so?

I have run away from this pack that devalues women, learn that my gender should not hold me back to achieve a lot of things, and now... it's not enough that she is taking my life, she makes it so that my last moment of life is spent on the operating table where a lot of women were discarded after they serve their purpose.

'When the sweetness is gone, the pulp is thrown out.' It's a proverb I read in one of the books about humans. It means, that when someone is beneficial to a pack, they will cherish her. But when she loses her function, they will throw her out.

My heart is burning with anger at the injustice. I could have achieved so much more. I could have watched my daughter grow up. I could have lived a good life with Lyall... I could have become someone I am proud of.

And yet... I am left to die... discarded as I don't have any more function that would make this pack care to save my life.

...or so I thought...

Right when I can no longer hold the weight of my eyes, I see a man dressed in black enter the room. He drags several healers with him.

The last thing I hear is him ordering the healers, "Save her!"

Or I could just be dreaming things.

Because... that man is Alpha Mason. There's no way that man would save me, right?

***

–Lyall–

I can't count how many times my feet stumble on branches and stones. Normally, I would care enough to avoid those things, but for now... I couldn't care less. My feet are bleeding from the sharp branches and jagged stones, but I will not slow down.

Not until I find my wife.

The rest of the warriors follow me from behind. Athena has been calling me to slow down, as it is getting harder for them to keep up with me.

But I don't care.

I keep running in the direction of the voice of my mate. Midway, I pick up her scent again. The first moment her scent hits my nostrils, I feel relieved. Yet when I smell her blood... and hear her screams again, my blood boils with anger and fear. It makes me run even faster, the fastest I have been in all my life.

Wait for me... I beg the Moon Goddess to keep her safe. Please... I can't lose her.

Gritting my teeth, I speed up yet again. My speed makes me bump into a few trees along the way. Instead of slowing me down, my strength and sheer will bring the trees down one by one. The warriors behind me have it harder to navigate the forest with the trees I brought down, but I don't stop to check on them.

How far have I run? I don't know.

What I know is that it's quite far from my kingdom. And that I am entering another's territory right now. Still, I don't stop. I can't.

Tch. Why is she so far away? Does Adina have a teleporter all this time?

Stupid! Why didn't I think of that? I'm such an idiot to involve Mars in this dangerous plan in the first place.

I am so stupid!

My feet finally pass a tree where her scent is the strongest. The speed I am going with makes it hard for me to stop. It takes me a few seconds and I even need to use my claws as a brake. Once I have stopped, my lungs are burning in need of oxygen. I am breathless. My muscles are exhausted, but the fear still pumps my adrenaline.

I turn slowly to see the tree clearly. Sniffing the air a few times, my heart shatters into pulps as I smell a strong scent of blood. I also smell the scent of other werewolves and Adina's. But that blood scent petrifies me so much that I freeze on the spot.

My lycan feet bring me closer to the tree slowly. I see no sight of those werewolves I smell or of Adina, or even my wife.

But under that tree, there is a knife and pieces of clothing. Both are soaked with blood.

Her blood.

I don't think I can breathe when I see the amount of blood pooling on the forest floor. The blood has seeped deeply into the earth, proof of how late I am.

First, an ugly sob breaks from my throat at the gore sight in front of me.

I reach out to the bloodied cloth under the tree. Never have I ever trembled so much in my life. I guess I have gotten too used to not feeling anything that I forgot how... terrible it is to feel scared.

For a moment, I am back to that time when I discover my parents' bodies.

It feels like someone has clawed you from the inside, gripping you so hard that you are paralyzed to the bone. At the same time, reality shifts within you, like a huge and sudden storm. You are given no time to react, no time to adapt. Your heart stops beating. You keep hoping that things are not real, but they are.

Fear, mixed with the pain of losing someone, is the devil's favorite emotion.

I bring the cloth close to my muzzle. Tears spring out from my eyes instantly as I imagine what my wife must have gone through. Gripping the cloth hard, I inhale her scent, her fear, her pain, her desperateness.

It hurts more to know someone you love is hurting so much and you cannot do anything.

Then I let out a ferocious scream full of violent angst to the full moon.

My tears won't stop falling, my body won't stop trembling. I sniff the air again, trying to locate her scent, trying to find out where she goes next. But the scent stops there. As if someone has teleported her yet again. It makes me think that Adina still has her and it scares me to the bone.

Reaching deep down into our bond, I bang on her mental wall, I even use my claws to try to reach to the other side. I just need one voice or one sign that she is alive.

I need... Please... I just need...

"Are you done being overdramatic?" A boy's voice snaps me out of my mental breakdown. I turn sharply to face the boy, the Shadow Walker that Mars has taken a liking to.

He looks beat up, much worse than I last saw him. His face looks pale, his eyes are red because of internal bleeding, and he walks with a limp on one side. He keeps holding his stomach, which I can see is still bleeding from how soaked his clothes are.

But his sneer annoys me so much that I growl angrily at him. "Where is she?" I bark the question out loud.

"She is alive," he says curtly, "If that's what you're scared about. I made sure she and her baby will be taken care of."

I blink.

A sudden relief washes over me as if a huge anchor has been lifted. My heart feels like being patched up a little, and I can breathe a little easier.

"Thank you," I blurt out to Sky's surprise. I mean it. The fact that he has kept my wife safe when I couldn't... I am so grateful. "But where is she?" I lower my croaked voice.

We both look each other in the eyes.

"Safe," he says, to my annoyance. Why can't he just tell me where she is? "But if we don't take care of your loose end, she won't be safe for long. We need to take care of your ex-lover. She somehow lost control of the man-made magic she gained so I could stop her from hurting Mars and the baby even more. But she ran away. If we don't stop her now, she might be able to regain control of her magic and hurt Mars again."

I blink once.

Somehow, I trust him. Because I know Mars trusts him.

So, I straighten myself in a calm manner. I tie the piece of Mars's clothing on my wrist, making a silent promise to keep my vow to Mars. Then I ask him, "Tell me more."

"It is true that there is life after death."

–to be continued–