In my old pack–I think I have said these words so much, but in my old pack, weddings are fast, neat, and unimportant. The ceremony is just a formality for the woman to change her last name legally.

Or, as Jen said to me once, a wedding is just a formality to transfer a woman's ownership from one man to another.

"We don't really have lives in these packs," Jen told me once, "We are not acknowledged, not as living beings who can think and decide things for ourselves. We are just properties."

I thought I should not complain because I had it a lot easier than the other girls in our pack. Ed treated me as human and not as his property. But I remember thinking how unfair it was to be born a female. I questioned whether being a girl is a sin. And I never got the answer until now.

Until I am basked in a beautiful white dress, full of pearls and diamonds, and I look at my reflection in the mirror.

My gender was never a sin.

The dress Nari has prepared for me is beyond beautiful. I know she was saving it for Adina–Athena was the one who told me, and it was quite obvious by the tantrum she had for days before the wedding day. It is a sleeveless ball gown with a Watteau draping on the back. The skirt is made of a thousand tulles and the top is decorated with laces and diamonds. The veil is another wonder. It's a long mantilla veil that has the same lace pattern as the top drizzled with tiny diamonds.

When I look at the pattern for the first time, I somewhat feel fake, like I am just a substitute.

The pattern that is used on the dress is of roses. The symbol of the Stronghold family.

Just a few days before the wedding, I asked–No, I ordered Nari to change the roses into sunflowers instead. She refused at first, saying it was impossible. But with the djinns she has, I was not stupid enough to believe her just like that. Lyall helped me to make Nari change the pattern and Athena made sure that Nari wouldn't do anything to damage the dress that would make me look bad on my wedding day.

"You're ruining the whole design," Nari grumbled. She made sure every maid in the kingdom knows how I am making her life hell the past two weeks before the wedding. "You are not worthy of this dress."

I don't even bother to reply to her. Honestly, I don't care if she thinks I am worthy or not. Because I know, I am.

My existence was never a mistake. And I was born to be worthy of a lot of things I couldn't have in my old pack. So now, no one will take those things away from me.

The wedding preparation was taken over by the royal head maid, who has organized royal weddings for three generations. She took care of the venue, the ceremony, the food, and educated me on the lycan customs during weddings. I was told that lycans have a wedding night ritual where the groom has to chase the bride under the full moon and then become one with her on the spot he catches her.

That's something new.

"What happens if the groom never catches the bride?" I asked the head maid out of curiosity.

"The purpose of the ritual is to confirm each other's intentions. If the bride really wants to be with the groom, she will let the groom catch her. And if the groom really wants the bride, he will try with all his might to get her."

I quite like that the brides have a choice to run in this kingdom.

"However," the head maid named Priscilla continues, "if the groom catches another woman... it will be a bad omen for the entire kingdom."

I gulp the big lump in my throat as I remember the next words she said to me. "The ritual will be our chance to lure Adina out."

She didn't need to say it. I already know. "You are the bait."

My eyes blink several times, trying to clear the foggy doubts within me. It's not the time to have my cracks shown. I had two weeks to prepare myself. And though my magic is healing magic, Jen tried to develop my magic into something bigger. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not even summon the rosy petals I accidentally summoned on the day of Jen's arrival. So Athena taught me some basic defense movements that I could do, even with a pregnant belly. Ganesh and Naver, however, have been coming into my room every day to cast a protective spell upon me.

Not only that, but we also tried to peel off Adina's influence furthermore with the help of Lola, Athena, and the faes. The Stronghold family has been quiet, not even admitting or acknowledging Adina's disappearance, or even showing signs they are helping Adina. So we used this chance to increase my influence.

Yes, my influence.

Months ago, I would have never imagined being able to sway people's opinions, never would have imagined myself as a leader of people, to have this power and authority to change people's lives and thus, be a person who people would believe in. Even though I am a werewolf and my rival is a strong lycan woman that has touched many people's hearts.

I need to be more charming than Adina.

Lyall has started bringing me along to his assembly meetings with his people and he includes me in his decision making. We have shown the entire kingdom that I can be a reliable queen and the perfect partner to their king.

Whenever Lyall goes too far with his punishment, I would be his reminder, his voice of reason. Lyall is known to be merciless in giving punishments, but when people see that I can soften him, they start seeing me beyond the label 'werewolf girl.'

More nobles have approached me, thinking that I am the safer bet than Adina. They also think that if they can get me on their side, their future in the kingdom will be smooth because Lyall seems to listen to me more than anyone else.

They call me The King's Whisperer now. They praise, hate, and fear me like I am the queen of this kingdom.

Even though the only title that can be given to me now is a concubine.

It is both exhilarating and scary at the same time. My chin and head are always up. I look a lot more confident than ever. I look fiercer and more stern.

But deep down, I can't shake off the anxiousness spreading slowly within me. It paralyzes me in a slow, yet frightening manner.

None of the efforts we have done can ease my worry. As I stare at my own reflection, for the millionth time, I ask myself, 'Am I strong enough to protect myself and my baby?'

'How can I outshine someone like Adina?'

'Am I enough?'

'Am I worthy?'

The questions just keep coming one by one in a spiraling madness. Each question creates a small crack in my confidence. It's only a matter of time before I will crumble. I just hope that Lyall could catch Adina before it happens.

'Am I really suited for someone like Lyall?'

'How can I keep my head up all the time?'

Because I don't know if I can glue myself back again if I crumble.

With another blink, I push those questions to the furthest part of my mind as the door to my room opens. It's Athena, dressed neatly in a woman's suit with purple color. She looks sharp and elegant. "It's time," she says.

Behind her, Jen enters the room with a hand extended to me. A soft smile is displayed on her lips after she takes in my entire appearance. "Thank the Goddess that devious seamstress still makes you look pretty for your big day."

An attempt at a joke from Jen, which I really try to find funny. But I can't.

"Don't worry," Jen says after she reads my expression. "We will catch her. And then Lyall will catch you, and you both will have your wedding night before dawn."

I bite my lips. Those questions pop up in my mind again, threatening to pour out from me like a storm. But I decide to swallow them back and keep them within me a little longer.

I just need to hold on a little longer.

"We have prepared so much," Athena assures me, "We won't fail."

I have seen their preparation first hand. They have taken great care to keep their plan a secret, so only a few know the entire plan. Not only that, we sent spies to spread false information to the Stronghold family too, in case Adina has been in contact with them. As of now, no one knows where Adina is.

No one knows where Sky is, either. This breaks my heart a little. I can't help but wonder if he has decided to leave. Though I am still worried.

Lyall won't tell me what happened when Sky was in the dungeon, but I know he won't hurt Sky because of me.

Trying to shake my worry about Sky from my mind, I grip Jen's hand, giving her a gentle squeeze to let her know I am nervous, excited, and scared at the same time. Jen squeezes my hand back. Her warmth soothes me.

"We won't let anything happen to you," she promises me.

She then puts my hand on her arm and leads me through the hall, all the way to the main hall in the east wing. The door has been opened to reveal a large hall where nobles and warriors sit on the benches.

I have memorized all the noble families in the kingdom, and I have built a rapport with the warriors. So even though some look at me with disdain, others look at me with huge smiles. And I keep my head up as I walk past each row. Only Jen can feel my anxiousness because I grip her arm too tight. Revealing nothing to the public, Jen rubs my hand gently, giving me strength with just a small gesture.

She walks me until I arrive at the altar. Once my eyes meet Lyall's, I forget everyone else in the room. It's as if the world has stopped only for us. And I so wish the world has indeed stopped.

Lyall's eyes brighten as he takes in my form fully. This is the first time he has laid eyes on me with a wedding dress and with full make-up on. I can hear his heartbeat racing through our bond. It makes Sasha wag her tail with joy. And I too think it's adorable.

Jen confirms to the fae king, which is our marriage officiant for the day, that she, as the closest mother figure I ever have, is giving me away to Lyall with a blessing. Once I step onto the altar, I reach out for Lyall's hands. My heart runs wildly, too wild, that without knowing, my hands are shaking slightly. Lyall sends me a sense of warmth and calmness through the bond, which relaxes me a little.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Argamon's voice booms to the entire room, "Lycans, werewolves, faes, witches, and warlocks. We have gathered here to witness history. For the first time, a lycan and a werewolf will take each other in an official and sacred bond. Strengthened by the undeniable mate bond, this couple stands before you to ask your blessing to become one in the name of love."

Argamon nods at Lyall, a sign for Lyall to proceed with his vow. "I, Lyall, take thee, Marsha, to be my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part."

Lyall's voice sails smoothly. I can't even trace his nervousness from his tone. I know the words are a formality. But the way he said it makes my heart leap with joy.

Then Lyall continues, "To protect with all my might, to serve and cherish all my life. This is my solemn vow."

The moment those last words come out of Lyall's mouth, I couldn't help the tears from falling down my cheeks. Lyall's smile fades. His eyes look at me with worry. He asks me what is wrong through our bond, and all I can answer back is, 'It's beautiful.'

'What is?' He massages my hands gently as two teardrops fall to the ground.

'The vow,' one more tear escapes my eyes, 'No one has ever said such beautiful words to me.'

He smiles at me. 'I hope I'll be the first and the last to say this vow to you.'

"I, Mars," my voice shakes so much that it hurts my throat, "take thee, Lyall, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. This is my solemn vow."

Lyall rubs my thumb gently, showing me encouragement.

"I now pronounce you both man and wife," the fae king says. "You may kiss the bride."

Without hesitation, Lyall pulls me to him. We share a passionate kiss in front of the entire kingdom. The kiss is bittersweet. On one hand, I am happy that I can be with Lyall. But on the other hand... I can't stop worrying about what's coming.

'I will not let anything happen to you and our baby,' he promises me through the bond. 'Everything will end today and we can continue our lives like usual by tomorrow.'

The fact that he already calls the baby 'ours,' melts my heart. If only I can enjoy this day to the fullest. But I can't. Because one darkness looms over us, caging us from truly being happy.

Lyall gives me a small smile. He has been trying to ease my worries for weeks. And I try, I really try, to let go of the doubts. But I can't. And I know Lyall is scared as well.

In the end, I return his smile.

'Likewise,' I say lightly.

For one fraction of a moment, I believe we will be okay, and that no matter what will happen, we will face it together.

Only for one fraction of a moment.

...

There is only one thing left to do after the ceremony.

As the day becomes dark and the full moon takes its place as the ruler of the night, I am escorted into the forest. The ritual dictates that I should walk by myself into the forest and keep walking until Lyall catches me. Lyall will have a fifteen minutes delay before he can trace me in his wolf form.

I am not afraid to walk alone in the dark of the night. But the fact that an evil lycan might pop out of nowhere to hurt me has never left my mind. I flex my left hand, readying myself to let out my claws at any moment. I grab the small knife Athena designed specifically for my use. The knife is hidden inside a hidden pocket on my dress. I have also changed my heels into boots.

Once I am deep inside the forest, I rip all the tulles with the knife. It takes longer than I thought it would because the tulles are a lot more than I expected. Once I can finally take them all off, I discard them on a bush and look carefully to my right and left. Then I proceed to the designated spot Lyall and Athena have briefed me for weeks. It's a wide clearing inside the forest, near Eclipse Lake. Lycans, faes, and werewolves under invisibility spells that were casted by Naver have been stationed at every corner of the clearing. This will be the place where we will try to lure Adina out with me as bait.

If Adina really wants me out of the way, her only chance is to kill me before the ritual is completed, right when I am alone and vulnerable in the dark forest. And when she shows up, the warriors stationed will grab her.

It's a simple and neat plan. And we have thought of all the possibilities, patching up all the loopholes. So it should be fine, right?

Then why... instead of arriving in the clearing alone to wait for Adina... I instead find my newly wedded husband laying another woman underneath him in the middle of the clearing?

"Oh, Mars," I hear Lyall whisper to the woman with a slight growl, "It's good too that Adina isn't coming tonight. We can have the entire night to ourselves."

What?

But... I am Mars...

Not her.

NOT HER.

–to be continued–