–Lyall–

While I basked myself in the glorious feeling of knowing that my love was reciprocated, my parents were caught off guard by Miranda, who had sought dark magic secretly. She murdered them while they were asleep in each other's arms.

Miranda bribed the chef to put drugs on their food so they couldn't fight back. The drugs made them lose their ability to transform and restrict their senses, too.

On top of that, Mother was pregnant with my baby sister. It was a difficult pregnancy, one that cost her a lot of life energy. So, Father and Mother were in a state of total exhaustion. Yet Miranda still cowardly used drugs to weaken them even more.

I could only hope that she killed them quickly, without pain. But that is unlikely.

Because when the news spread about the murder, I raced with Adina to my parent's bedroom. The scene I saw... was the most horrifying and to this day, it is still one of the most terrifying and traumatizing things I have ever seen.

My legs froze on the spot as soon as I open the door. Blood had painted the entire room, on the ceilings, the walls, and on the furniture. Both of my parents' bodies still lay side by side on the bed. Their faces weren't recognizable and their bodies had been mangled...

I threw up first before I cried out in anguish. The feeling of losing everyone you loved at one dreadful time is like having someone rip open my ribcages, tear my heart to pieces, sew them back on, and then burn it to ashes.

My shock and sadness caused me to freeze on the spot. Even when Miranda emerged from the shadows and mocked me, I couldn't win against her. Perhaps I didn't want to.

Perhaps I wished Miranda would take my soul too, so I could join the rest of my family.

Miranda put me in the dungeon to torture me, to give me a slow death. I took all the blows, the burns, the scars, and the bruises. She kept trying to make me wail in despair, to beg for mercy to her. But I kept my face passive, save for some cries of hurt at times. I kept myself numb.

"I hate that face so much," Miranda once said to me, "It reminds me of your father. The face of a coward who couldn't tell his rightful wife in the face, that he's replacing her, so instead he just plays dumb and acts cold around her. Every day, he grew cold to me. His love for me had turned into stone when I did everything to get him to the throne!"

"Seeing how crazy you are now," I said with so much effort, "Father was right to choose Mother–"

She whipped me until I passed out that night. When I opened my eyes, I realized she had healed my skin and bones, only to whip me until my arm almost fell off completely. Then she healed me again, but not enough that I could lift my head. It was just enough so I could sleep, and when I would wake up the next day, she would be ready with other means of torture.

That night, however, Adina, with the help of Athena, led her family's army to save me. She shared with me her power so I could change into my lycan form and avenge my family.

I could only see red that day. Nothing could stop me until I had Miranda's heart in the palms of my hand. I only needed to pull her heart out and let Miranda bleed to death to end that nightmare.

"Pull this heart out and you'll live your entire life not knowing what love is," Miranda said with an eerie, evil grin. Blood trailed down from her lips and her eyes were getting heavy because of all the blood loss. "I, Miranda Lockehart, curse you, Lyall Nightwind, to turn into stone just like how your father was to me. Your feelings and emotions will become void, your face will be expressionless, and at last, your body will become a statue. Live a life of no empathy, no laughter, and no joy."

She laughed maniacally, "Slowly but surely, everyone will despise you, Lyall Nightwind. Everyone will turn their backs on you. And you yourself will feel nothing."

I pulled her heart out right then, ending her line of breathing. As her body slumped to the ground, lifeless, I stood there with heavy breaths. Her evil heart still beat for a few seconds on my hand and then it stopped completely.

When I killed Miranda and secured the throne, the very same night, I cried on Adina's shoulder.

She had been my strength and my foundation as a king since then. With her by my side, I thought I knew what love is. Because we were in love, and things had been good the first few years I became King. Her dedication to me earned her the title of Crown Princess, which was a title for the future Queen, my future wife.

I began to lose interest in the things I usually like to do, like running and reading. Especially, I lost interest in socializing with people.

But I thought the people closest to me would understand why I didn't participate much, or why I couldn't push myself to express myself more. I couldn't. Everything felt stale, everything felt... empty.

I thought Adina understood my situation the most since she was the closest person to me. And if I didn't remember the love I had for her, I wouldn't keep accepting her invitation for tea times, walks, or even to spar. I also invited her to a lot of royal events as my partner.

She told me she understood why I appeared colder by the day. It was not my choice. I assured her that it was not because I lost interest in her, and I promised her I would stay loyal to her because she had done so much for me.

But I thought wrong.

I didn't know that despite the smiles she put on, she had been suffering inside. The way I acted made her feel like she was not enough, that she was insignificant in my life.

Even with my curse, I knew then that our relationship had become unhealthy for her. Since I could barely feel anything, I was fine with how things were. But she... she lost weight, and she didn't appear as radiant as she usually was.

So I broke off our engagement. I told her, "Please know that I will always be indebted to you. You are an amazing person, and you had been nothing but wonderful to me. But this is not healthy for you. You deserve someone who would love you, who would always make you feel loved because I cannot do that."

I explained to her, "It's unfortunate because I miss that flaming passion I had with you before we killed Miranda. You are an amazing woman. But you deserve someone better, Adina. Someone who would never make you cry like I have been, for almost a decade, ever since the curse. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Adina."

Her eyes were glazed with tears. Her lips trembled. "Are you discarding me, Lyall?"

Her words made my chest feel twisted for the first time in years. And it was all the more reason for me to let her go, to ensure her happiness because I knew it wouldn't be with me.

So, I answered her, "Yes." I had to hurt her so she would leave me.

I was stupid. Maybe because I had a hard time feeling anything, I couldn't come up with a better explanation. I wish I had answered differently. I wish I took the time to make her understand.

But I didn't.

And I paid the price when one night, she used the same dark magic Miranda had used to immobilize me in my own room. She then stabbed me near my heart and used the blood in a ritual. It is a ritual so dark, that it has been forbidden for centuries.

The ritual to create Shadow Walkers. One full cup of fresh blood from each pair of a couple, a chant that has been forgotten by time, and dark magic as the fuel.

Old kings and rulers used the ritual to create armies with unfathomable power and strength. But they soon realized that all Shadow Walkers seek to blanket the world in darkness. So they drove Shadow Walkers to extinction and banned the ritual.

Yet that night, the ritual was once again revived in the world by the one person I thought would always have my back.

After chanting, Adina poured both cups full of our blood onto the floor. But the blood didn't pool like normally it would. Instead, it created the form of a small boy.

I was so dizzy from the blood loss, but little by little, I could see the blood turning into a human-like boy. He had dark hair like Adina. His face looked a lot like mine, but his eyes were red.

He was a Shadow Walker. A demon. A dark creature.

"Behold, Lyall," Adina said with pride in her voice, "Our son! Will you love me again now?"

I thought seeing my parents' bedroom painted with their blood was horrifying. But this... this sent chills deep into my bone.

It disgusted me that Adina almost killed us both just to create a Shadow Walker. And for what?

She sounded crazy, and I had had enough. So, once I regained my strength, I pinned her to the ground, then broke her legs so she couldn't stand. After that, I killed the boy before he would be strong enough to cause any destruction in the world.

When Adina saw what I had done, she screamed, "Child Murderer!" at me.

***

"It was not a real boy, Mars," I desperately need Mars to understand why I took action against the boy. I didn't want her to look at me with that terrified face ever again. Because now, I am not a person void of emotion like before. Ever since I met Mars, I could feel again, and it hurt to be looked at like that.

"I would never kill Adina's son, even if she was cheating on me," I explained, "Even if I could feel no empathy, or feel anything. Besides, I was the one who broke the engagement."

Mars stayed silent next to me. The cursed Lyall would not have cared. But this Lyall, feels nervous about what Mars would think.

I turn my face slowly to see her face. She looks so small on my leather sofa. With her white shirt and black pants, with her dark, flowing hair, framing her small face... my heart softens at the sight of her.

Mars doesn't like to wear heavy makeup or to dress up extravagantly, but she has this charm about her. And I can understand why Duncan and some of the men in this castle have been looking at her with awe or even lust. She doesn't even know how beautiful she is, and that makes everyone intrigued by her even more. Although it irritates me sometimes. It makes me want to just lock her up for my eyes only, but obviously, that will not happen.

Her scent is also intoxicating. I don't remember werewolves having a delightful smell like this. So perhaps it's the mate bond, making me think of honey every time I inhale her scent. It also doesn't help that the taste of her skin is so divine.

She feels like paradise.

Oh, I so badly want to tousle her hair with my hands, push her down, and mark her. The urge to make her mine keeps on growing. Mars has no idea how hard it is to keep that desire down. There are days, even when I stopped seeing Mars for a while, that I could only think of ways to mate her.

Grrr... My fangs almost descend completely by just thinking about it. This is bad.

"I understand," Mars's sweet voice takes me back to reality. Right. We were talking about my past and not about mating her.

"I'm sorry I judged you based on rumors," she says while biting her lip.

Grrrrr... Does she not know how arousing that movement is? Come on!

"You did what you think was right," she continues, "And I am glad I came here today."

'I am glad too', I want to say, 'Maybe you'll finally give yourself completely to me.' Her smile helps me control my lust. Knowing that she won't smile at me again if I forced my mark on her, helps me to control myself.

Goddess damn it, Mars!

"Lyall, I need to tell you something, too." Her voice is like honey. Every time those plump lips open, the urge to claim her resurfaces.

But I disregard that desire. Because I want to hear what she has to say. I need to hear it.

"I'm–"

Just then, the door bursts open to reveal Ganesh with a panicked face. The old man walks unsteadily with his cane, but he is determined not to stop until he reaches two feet from the sofa we are sitting on.

Sweats drench his temples, and a few drops have fallen to the carpeted floor. He hunches a bit to take a few gulps of air.

"Ganesh!" Mars stands up with a surprised face. I, too, stand up.

This old man almost never looks panicked in my entire life knowing him. Something is definitely wrong. And it must be serious.

–to be continued–