I think I slept almost one day and a half. Instinctively, I put my hand on the other side of the bed right after I woke up. It's cold, and the bedsheet is neat.

So, Lyall never came back.

A sinking feeling envelops me as my mind conjures images of Lyall with a mysterious woman. Picturing Lyall's hand on the woman's neck and their hips conjoined in a passionate flair...

I erase those pictures from my mind, then pinch the bridge of my nose. But as luck would have it, my mind ends up going to the boy. He came to me out of the blue and cried in my arms.

The timing could not be even weirder because... if Lyall was visiting the woman, which I believe to be the boy's mother, why did the boy come to me and cry? I didn't ask what made him cry because at that time it seemed irrelevant. My motherly instinct kicked in and I held him for as long as he needed me to.

After that, we played chess like nothing ever happened.

Oh, I've named him Sky, and he seems to respond well to it. At least, better than the previous names I tried on him.

I guess I dozed off while we were playing chess. Using a lot of magic and arguing with Lyall made me so tired. Although I don't know how that small of a boy would be able to carry me to the bed, he did. He probably used his magic.

My head spins around the room, but as expected, the boy –I mean, Sky, is nowhere to be seen. I hope he is no longer sad.

Right then, someone knocks on the door lightly. "Miss Mars?" It's Nari calling me from beyond the door, "Are you awake?"

"Uh... yes. What is it, Nari?"

"Your Majesty sent us here to help you prepare for the academy?"

The academy! Right, Lyall has agreed to let me go to the healer academy.

Wait...

I look in the window's direction. A small gap between the curtains let me know that it's still dark outside. The sun has not risen. Does the academy start this early? In my old pack, I start my shift at 8 AM. And we usually wait a long time for a patient to come in.

Then again, it was a small clinic in one ordinary werewolf pack. Since werewolves can heal themselves most of the time, we only get one or two patients every day. Perhaps things are different in the royal infirmary. I imagine that all the hard cases, especially those that their lycan sides can't heal by themselves, are referred to here. So, maybe that's why it's starting so early?

I jump out of bed in haste. My feet are not ready for the impact, and I stumble to the floor with a loud thud.

"Are you okay, Miss Mars?" someone else asks behind the door. Nari is not alone, it seems. The other voice is a deep and heavy man's voice. My guess is that he is the guard assigned to me by Lyall.

"I'm okay!" I cry out. I don't want to give the first impression to my guard that I am so vulnerable and clumsy.

In haste, I rise, brush my hair with my fingers a bit, and open the door with a smile. Dear Goddess, I hope I don't look like a zombie today.

"Oh, Goddess! You're bleeding!" Nari cries out as her eyes see the dry blood on my sleeve and arm. She grabs my arm as if trying to find the source of the wound.

The man, who is wearing a leather jacket and dark army pants, immediately walks into the room and looks around.

"Oh no no no, don't worry," I hurry to say, "This is from yesterday. I didn't have time to clean myself properly. It was exhausting for me and I immediately fell asleep."

Nari and the man nod in understanding. They resume their relaxed positions.

"Well then, let's get you bathed and ready for the academy." Nari claps her hands and the next second, three women appear in front of me out of the blue. Their skins are blue and half of their faces are covered with white fabrics. "Miss Mars, these are my assistant genies."

"Your what?"

"Genies. They will help me in getting you ready. We need to make you look as flawless as possible."

"Huh?" Does going to the academy usually take this many people to get ready? Or is it Lyall being extra?

Nari holds both of my hands as the guard closes the door after making sure no one is watching the room. The look on Nari's face is so serious that I feel the need to gulp my nervousness down.

"Miss Mars, the academy is a battleground," she says in a low voice, "If you think the warrior training ground is rough, you're wrong. The academy is tougher. Because every aspect of your being will be judged."

My hands are getting sweaty, yet Nari doesn't let go of me.

"You're older than most in the academy, so you're probably wiser. But kids can be cruel. Especially noble kids. And in the academy, influence matters. You're untested, Miss Mars. Everyone by now has known that you're special to the king and they will try to test your limits," Nari looks at the guard who is standing next to her genies. "Grey can only protect you physically. But you need to carry yourself a certain way so you will be safe mentally too. The fastest way to achieve that is by looking like the person you're aiming to be."

I gulp again.

"You mean... safe from being bullied?" I arch my eyebrow. I have had my fair share of being bullied when I was growing up in the pack. Especially when I came to the preliminary test to be a warrior. The boys back then mocked me so much for coming to the test place.

Back then, my fate was sealed. Either I become an omega or a healer.

This time, I can be anything. So, a little bullying would not scare me. At least, I am not scared yet.

"Yes," Nari says, "Some will try to gain your favor since the king is infatuated with you. But they will only want to take advantage of you. Some will try to challenge you. So we need you to dress to impress and to act like the king has given you all the kingdom to yourself. Few people will dare to pick on you if they see you're very well established in this kingdom. Don't give them room to criticize you, even if it's about how you dress."

Nari is already pushing me to the bathroom. The genies are coming with us while Grey, the guard, is carefully looking around the room. My eyes meet Grey's and he smiles at me. "Better be too careful than sorry," he says, "You'll never know what kind of magical items they can sneak in to listen to our conversations, take improper pictures, or even hide a person. Dark magic is the hardest to recognize, but I don't think we should worry about the magic that no one is using any longer."

"Wait–" Nari closes the bathroom door, cutting off my words, while one of the genies turns on the faucet to fill the bathtub. That genie's hand glows pinkish, then she puts her hand on the flowing water. Immediately, flowery fragrant fills the bathroom.

"What's your favorite flower, Miss Mars?" the genie asks in a silky, tempting voice.

"Uh... jasmine?"

"Be confident, Miss Mars," Nari says in a stern voice, "You can't speak with a nervous tone all the time."

"Jasmine," I say in a more solid voice, then I add, "Please."

The next second, that flowery fragrant changes more distinctly that I can only smell jasmine now. It's magic, and it's impressive.

The other genies start taking off my dress. It feels weird to be naked in front of others, even though they're all women. I mean, one woman and three genies. So I cover my bosom and curl myself to look smaller.

"Hmm," Nari muses, "You have a little belly fat, it seems. Though it's not showing that much."

I avoid her eye contact, praying to the Goddess that Nari would not find out about my pregnancy right then.

"Other than that, great boobs, wide hips, and amazing legs. Now get inside the tub."

I do as I was told after releasing the nervous breath I was holding.

With the flick of a hand, the first genie has put jasmine flowers all over the bathtub. Bubbles are forming too, with no soap being used. The water temperature feels nice.

One genie sits in the bathtub to work on my hair. She washes it and massages my scalp. The other is doing my manicure and pedicure. Since it's a healer academy, Nari tells me I should keep my nails short and clean. If it's any other event, Nari would no doubt color my nails.

After taking a bath, I am directed to the room to sit in front of my vanity table. Grey is already outside of the room, guarding the door as well as giving me some privacy.

One genie is drying my hair and making it curl at the end using a curler. The other is preparing the clothes I would wear while Nari and the third genie are busy doing my makeup.

No one asks for my preference anymore. Not about the hair, the clothes, or even the makeup. And I keep my mouth shut too.

Until Nari is inching closer to my face to put a fake eyelash on me. My immediate body response is to flinch. My head gets too close to the curler that the genie is holding behind me, that I hiss. The genie quickly pulls her hand away to save my scalp from burning.

Right after, everyone only stares at me. Even the genie that is preparing my clothes stops to watch me. Their eyes look at me as if asking what is wrong.

I look straight at Nari. And she immediately understands my hesitation.

She raises the tape in front of me. "Your eyes will pop up more with this. Trust me."

"Yeah, no. Those look heavy and I need my eyes clear and light to study," I say.

"Yes, of course. But your eyelashes aren't exactly long."

"Then make me beautiful even with short eyelashes. I am not used to wearing fake eyelashes and I will not compromise my ability to see just to look beautiful." My voice is smooth that I am not even sure it's coming from me.

I thought Nari would object, but instead, she smiles at me, "Talk like that all the time in the academy, be assertive about what you want, and you will be fine, Mars."

Somehow, hearing those words from Nari gives me a surge of courage. It's like a small seed taking roots deep within me. I realize I should hold on to this like holding on to a small kindling fire in the dark night.

The clothes they have prepared for me are a white blouse with golden tassels on the shoulders with black skinny jeans, dark brown boots, and a pair of big circle golden earrings. It looks chic yet simple and powerful at the same time.

My hair is pulled back into a high ponytail. Smoky shades color my eyes, with a pinkish blush on my cheeks and nude color on my lips.

I look beautiful.

It even takes me a few seconds to blink repeatedly, making sure that it is truly me that is reflected in front of the mirror.

"Is this me?" I can't believe how different I look just yesterday when I was crying in the bathroom.

No more eye bags, no more gaunt cheeks. Looking straight at me from the mirror is a radiant, bright, beautiful girl.

"Yes," the three genies sing together. "We knew you're beautiful from the start. But this is a girl no one will dare to mess about."

Nari nods at her three genies. "And don't say that nonsense that it's the makeup that makes you look like this. Everyone can look beautiful with makeup, but not everyone can look radiant with it."

The seamstress–which now I have to call makeup artist slash stylist, or perhaps beauty guru?–pats me on the shoulder as I take a deep breath. "Ready to conquer the academy, Mars?"

I didn't even realize when Nari stops calling me with the 'Miss' title. I like it this way better though. Because it seems like Nari and I have gotten more personal.

Breathing out a long breath, I nod at my reflection in the mirror.

Yet when time has brought me to the front gate of the academy after a ten minutes ride in a car...

I lose almost all the confidence I had inside of me.

Even with all the makeup, beautiful clothes, and a bodyguard behind me, that tiny ember inside of me wavers.

Can I really do this? Aren't I too old for this?

Am I worthy of this chance?

–to be continued–

Do you ever feel like you are not worthy of a chance?

I sure feel that a lot.