*Mature content*

Under the low light of the room, Lyall's emerald eyes seem to shine, twinkling with an intensity that makes me shiver. Thank the Goddess I am already sitting because if not, I think my legs would have wobbled.

He caresses my fingers one by one with his hot tongue in a methodical fashion. Slowly but surely, he cleans my skin from my own blood. When he gets to my wrist, he gives a gentle kiss, inhales my scent, then puts down my arm.

"Open your mouth," he commands.

I gulp lightly before parting my lips at his behest.

"Wider, Mars."

Still holding his gaze, I move my jaw to open even more. Lyall caresses the side of my face with his thumb before putting another finger into my mouth. His finger meets my tongue and I taste salt and tobacco. Then he puts one more finger inside my mouth, teasing my tongue to a sensual dance.

His skin feels hot. They're electrifying, stimulating the wetness on my inner thighs. By now, Lyall must have smelled my arousal so thick in the air as I could smell his.

It's funny. Lyall's scent somehow becomes more intoxicating. It smells like honey and chocolate. With more of his scent I inhale, his fingers taste sweeter that I can't help to suck them, just like how I would suck a candy.

"Something inside me clicked when I saw how you smiled at that baby," he whispers. I don't dare to close my mouth even when my saliva is already accumulating under my tongue. "Something... primitive, a bit feral, and... obsessive. I want you then and there, Mars. I want you whole."

He pushes his fingers deep into my throat, eliciting a gag response from me. "A part of me wanted to possess you completely, to break your soul until you're only an obedient slave that will never fight me back." Tears prick my eyes after a few gags, but I keep my mouth open for him. Even when saliva trails down my chin, I keep my lips parted.

"Good girl," he muses as he takes out his fingers from my mouth, allowing me to cough and catch my breath. "You don't have a really deep throat, do you? I'd love to make you gag with something else. But that would be stepping too far, wouldn't it?" The next second, he has his hand wrapped around my neck, and he presses lightly.

I gasp for air, but I am too late.

His eyes darken at the sight of my face. My hands go to his wrist, yet I don't try to make him let go of me. Somehow, I surrender myself to him easily. I trust him.

This is crazy, isn't it?

"A part of me wanted to just kill you," he says as he keeps the pressure on my neck. "It's hard to breathe properly, isn't it? That's how you make me feel sometimes. When you jumped out of the window, when you sneaked out of the room without my knowledge, and whenever you defy me, even if I'm trying to protect you."

He lets go of my neck and puts his palm flat on my right chest. I draw in a large gulp of air, trying hard to control my breathing steadily while Lyall feels my racing heartbeat.

"Yet I don't want this heartbeat to stop," he says, "I want it to beat for me. Just like how it beat when you saw that baby. Your heart leaped with joy. I could hear your heart sing melodiously back then."

Lyall kneels in front of me, making me have to look down to keep staring at his eyes. "I want that smile on your face when you see me."

What is this? Some sort of confession?

"But I will never get that smile if I don't give you what your soul needs, will I?" he asks in a hoarse voice. He sounds desperate, like a man at a loss. "I'll break you, kill you from the inside. And I did wonder if I should just do that and keep you safe."

He brushes my arm, sending warmth to my skin, then he takes the back of my hand to his mouth. After that, he puts my palm on his solid chest. His eyes look at me with so much tenderness mixed with pain.

But why? Why does he look like he's hurting?

If it isn't for Lyall's steady heartbeat, I might forget to breathe on my own. It feels like the entire world is gone, like time has stopped this moment just for the two of us.

"Do what you need to do, Marsha," he whispers, "Be the person you've always meant to be."

He presses my palm into his chest, letting me feel his loud, beating heart. It becomes music in my ear.

"And maybe," he says, "Just maybe, in the future, you'll look at me with that smile."

"Do you... want me to smile for you?" I ask, "...Sir?" I'm not sure if we're still playing his game or not. It doesn't seem like it. But I can't be sure, so I smile anyway.

Lyall bursts into laughter after seeing my smile. I can feel his chest rumbling from under my palms. It gives a sweet kind of warmth to my skin, which I can't really describe.

I realize then that if he wants me to smile at him without reason... I want to keep seeing his laughter, to feel his chest rumbling gently under my palm.

"You should laugh more," I blurt out.

Our eyes meet each other. "Stick around and maybe you'll see me laughing more. Maybe I'll see you smiling more too."

I don't know what has gotten into me. I have no idea where I get the courage... But I grab his shirt and pull him to lean into me until my lips touch his ear. He puts his hands on either side of my body on the bed. His body is between my legs now. His lips hover above Ed's mark on my collarbone.

Perhaps it's my imagination, but I can feel his lips smiling on my neck. I can tell he likes my boldness. "I like how you play my game, werewolf girl," he whispers to my skin, creating electrifying fireworks that spread all over my body. I have to fight hard the paralyzing sensation on my spine to keep my body straight.

"I thought you were a sexist prick when you told me I can't go to the academy," I whisper in his ear as my other hand caresses his abs through his thick shirt. In slow motion, I trail my fingers down until I can feel his prominent pelvic bones. Lyall gulps loudly, which is cute. "It turns out you were just looking for a reaction from me, weren't you?"

Hooking my fingers on the edge of his pants, I give a peck on his upper neck. Just like what he did to me before going to Ganesh's office, my lips travel down to that one spot at the lower end of his neck. Near his prominent collar bone. I lick that unmarked spot repeatedly. When I hear Lyall's breath hitching, I become bolder and bite his skin lightly, using my human teeth.

Lyall groans in pleasure. His fists curl on the bedsheet and his jaw becomes taut. I can tell it takes a lot of effort for him to not do anything, to just stay still while I toy with his sensitive spot.

I don't sink my teeth to his skin, just nimble it enough to arouse his other body part. Oh, it's working. I notice it's been standing since he puts his fingers in my mouth. That feral, primitive sensation he told me about has not left him. He was toying with my body to get a small release, but I instead put more tension by pulling him to me.

"Please..."

Oh, my! Did I just hear the lycan king beg me? He must have not realized what just come out of his mouth. I feel like I am a femme fatale who secretly controls this cold lycan king inside his own room. And I feel damn powerful.

I also feel... amazingly aroused.

Lyall's lips part, grazing my skin with his sharp lycan fangs. He presses into my skin lightly.

I immediately push his body hard, making him fall to the floor with a loud thud. Despite my beating heart, I look down at the lycan king with a cold face.

"Two can play the game, King," I whisper.

He scoffs, then bursts into a peal of sweet laughter in front of me. "I've met my worthy opponent, then."

When his eyes look down at his pants, however, he grimaces. "You've woken the beast. Yet you won't let me have my way with you, will you?"

Is that really a question? Because he knows he can just force me to do whatever he wants. He is the king and I am nobody. But then I remember how he said about not wanting to break me as a person, how he wants me to smile genuinely at him.

I find this little thing endearing. For a man who has a hard time being empathic with others, he's been sweet and considerate to me.

"Thank you," I muster to say.

Lyall widens his eyes when he sees my glazed eyes, then he coughs lightly, and stands up. His face has returned to the icy expression everyone is used to.

"Get some rest today, Mars," he says, "I know you're still tired from using your magic. Tomorrow a guard will pick you up to go to the academy if you still choose to go. You don't need to stay up waiting for me tonight."

"Are you not coming back tonight?" It's an innocent question, but Lyall's smirk makes me feel dirty.

"Do you want me to?" he asks, "We might do something we'd regret." Then he looks down to where his 'beast' is still showing a little from his pants. "It'll take a while to cool this beast down."

Right then, I feel a sharp prick in my chest. "Are you going to visit her?"

Her. The woman I've been hearing during my stay in this castle, like a lingering shadow.

Just the mention of 'her,' makes Lyall's face darken. "That's none of your business, is it?" I am shocked by Lyall's indifferent response. He walks to the door without even a single glance back at me.

So, Lyall is going to cool down with that woman? Right after he was playing with me?

More importantly, why does my chest feels... stuffed. I can't breathe properly even though no one is putting pressure on my throat now.

The thought of stopping Lyall occurs in my mind. But then what? Would I be willing to cool him down myself in exchange for Lyall not visiting that woman?

In the end, I only stay seated on the bed. Waiting in silence as I hear the door clicks open and shut. I do nothing because I am nobody to him. He should be nothing other than an agreement to me, too.

Once I make sure Lyall is gone from the room, I wait until my heartbeat calms down before I walk to the bathroom sink. Looking at my own reflection in the mirror, I heave a heavy sigh.

What is looking at me through the glass is a tired and gaunt-looking girl. My dark hair is messy, with some sticking to my neck and back because of sweat. My face and lips look pale, causing the dark bags under my eyes to look darker than usual.

I turn the faucet to let water pour into the sink. Hot water. Without caring for the temperature, I scoop some of the water and rub every spot on my skin that Lyall licked.

It's scalding. It burns my skin and I hiss in pain. But I look at my own eyes through the mirror. Those dark eyes are full of conflicting emotions, but above all, they are still full of sadness.

'You don't have to do this, Mars,' Sasha says to me from the back of my mind.

"I feel like I have to," I murmur as I scoop more hot water and rub my skin roughly until I can see my own skin looking bright red. "I... enjoyed it. I almost wanted him to sink his mark right then..."

I rub my skin even rougher, especially the spot where Ed's mark is still seen clearly, as I try to push down my guilty tears. My lips tremble from both the pain and the gnawing feeling inside my chest.

'You can't help to want Lyall too, Mars. It's the mate bond. You're not betraying Ed–'

"I am, Sash," I keep rubbing my skin. Without noticing, I have ripped the collar of my dress to give me more access to my neck. "It hasn't even been that long since his death. I shouldn't... I can't..." Tears have clogged my throat too, leaving me unable to utter a single proper sentence.

Feeling tired of trying to hold back my tears, I put my hands on either side of the sink and let the tears flow down to join the rest of the water in the drain.

'He's gone, Mars,' Sasha says in a small voice.

"That's the thing, Sash," I look down to the body of water pooling on the sink, unable to look at my own glazing eyes any longer, "I don't think I can fight the mate bond even if Ed is still alive." My voice breaks at the end.

Even the sound of the water running quiets down to emphasize Sasha's next words, 'And you're glad that Ed is already dead.'

She's not wrong. I grip the ceramic sink tighter as more tears fall.

"I'm a horrible person," I croak. Then I burst into a weeping madness. The sound of running water fills my ears again, accompanying my sobbing. But no matter how much water goes down the drain, nothing can wash out the sharp thorn of remorse from deep inside my chest.

In the middle of my crying, however, a familiar light voice is heard, "Do you love him?"

Shocked at the sudden voice, I turn with a gasp to see the boy standing in front of the bathroom door. I blink the remaining of my tears to see the boy I haven't seen in days clearly.

"You!" I cry out.

"Are you doing all this because you still love that person who died?" he asks again. Somehow, the boy's face looks so serious.

–to be continued–