Lyall's gaze burns me so intensely behind his large wooden desk. Sometimes he makes me wonder if there is such a thing as green fire when he looks at me like that. Yet I have grown accustomed to it that I don't... mind his stare anymore.

He does not even stand up to greet me–not that I think I'm important enough for a lycan king to do that.

I let myself in and honestly; I didn't expect to see a room this grand. Of course, I know Lyall is the lycan king, but this room is something else. It's half the size of Lyall's room, but the amount of gold in this room makes my jaw drops slightly. The curtains are made from golden threads, there are gold installations across the room, and gold picture frames on two sides of the room. Other than gold, there are many earthy themes in the room. Oddly, the combination of gold and brown match really well together, creating a mixture of posh and simplicity at the same time.

One thing for sure, however; the room does not speak for Lyall at all. Well, at least not the Lyall I know. It's more like the room was set for a display of power and extravagance, things that I feel like Lyall doesn't care about–especially since he is cursed.

"Mars." The way my name sounded coming out of his mouth sends chills to me. Goddess, I don't think I will ever get used to his voice calling my name.

I wait for him to say further; ask me why am I here, scold me for coming unannounced, or even say he's delighted to see me. Anything.

But only silence envelops us. We both have a lot to say to each other, but no words can be formed.

When I can't take the silence anymore, I sigh while I stride forward to near his desk.

There are piles of paper on the large wooden desk. Next to them are small file cabinets full of maps and documents labeled with numbers. In the middle of the desk, Lyall has a laptop with highlighted paper next to it. A cup of coffee is laid on the other side of the laptop.

But Lyall's full attention is on me.

With one of his hands, he holds an elegant black fountain pen as if it's an instrument of music. His mouth opens slightly as I keep approaching his desk until I am only two feet away.

Then I wait again, as I keep staring at him.

"Marsha," he recalls my name again, in full, and it sends even more chill to my spine. The question must be at the tip of his tongue. His mouth keeps moving as if he's trying to find the words he needs to say.

Yet a few seconds have gone by, and still, none of us have spoken.

I have rehearsed multiple times in my head on how I will tell Lyall about my pregnancy. In some versions, I would start with jokes, in other versions, I start with small talk first. Maybe the second version is better. I should probably ask how has his day been first, right? Engage him in a normal conversation like normal people before I dump the information on him.

Oh no.

I'm having second thoughts now. Maybe I should get closer to him first, make sure he likes me enough to at least let me keep my pregnancy.

Or maybe I should discover one of his secrets first, then blackmail him. My hands are getting clammier with every rushing thought of all the possibilities that can happen.

'I think he'll understand,' Sash tells me. 'Maybe we can use the mate bond to make him feel the bond with the baby too.'

'How do we do that?'

Sash whimpers a little when she also couldn't find an answer to her own question. 'I believe Lyall is a reasonable person.'

'We've seen a lot of reasonable males being dicks because of their possessiveness,' I remind Sash of the things happening in our old pack. 'Remember why we ran away from Mason?'

My wolf says after being silent for quite some time, 'Ed would have accepted the baby no matter what.'

'I know.' A sudden prickly sensation spreads across my chest when I think of my husband. 'He was such a fine man, wasn't he?'

'The world is such a loss without him,' Sash whimpers again.

I'm the one who is lost without him. To suddenly be without an anchor in this world that demands more of me than I can give, sometimes I wonder if I should just join my husband in the realm of the dead–

"Don't say that." Lyall's sharp voice cuts off the trail of my thoughts.

Blinking furiously, I realize that in my moment of weakness, the mate bond allowed Lyall to hear my thoughts. I'm embarrassed now knowing that he heard my inner depressive monologue.

At the same time, I also remind myself that I should continue living because of my baby now. This time, I make sure to imagine a wall in my mind so that Lyall won't be able to hear my thoughts again.

Lyall stands after putting his pen on the desk. His brows crease in what I think looks like concern on his face, but I don't want to get my hopes up.

"Never think like that again. Do you understand, Mars?" His voice is low as if he is threatening me. But his words sound warm in my ears. Honestly, it's giving a mixed signal to my body.

Did he say that because he really cares about me, or is it only because he needs me to break his curse?

"Do you understand, Marsha?" He asks again.

When I don't answer quickly, I hear a loud snap from between his fingers, making me flinch. Lyall has broken his pen in two so easily.

My eyes find his green eyes again. The green fire is burning with a different kind of intensity now. It's smoldering me.

I know I should answer, "yes," but my mouth moves on its own. "No one can control how they feel. We just feel."

He scoffs at my reluctance to answer him directly, "Do you come here just to tell me that?" Lyall half-circles his desk but then stops after taking one step toward me. I see the hesitation in his eyes for a flicker of a second before he finally steps back again and leans casually on his desk. His gaze, however, never truly leaves me.

A heavy sigh comes out of his mouth as he hunches his shoulders, looking defeated. "Is this one of your 'looking for a reaction' moments?" he asks me, "Then you win, Mars. Just you being here has brought all the feelings I have been trying to suppress to carry on my days as a king. You win. So, stop thinking like that ever again."

He massages his chest, or more like clawing on it. Just like what he did in the forest. "It's annoying."

In a few seconds, his face has twisted into a mixture of disgust and anger. Yet when he sees me taking one step back, his eyes widen. Immediately, his face changes back to the defeated expression I saw before. He sighs again. "You keep winning, Mars."

"I need to tell you something, Your... Highness," I decided that it's best I address him properly at this moment. Though his title sounds foreign to my tongue. I guess I have gotten used to calling him just by his name.

His face becomes unreadable. I don't know if he approves of me calling him by his title or not. But he keeps staring at me.

"I..."

Just then, the office door is opened abruptly by a panicking man in a guard uniform. There are sweats all over his frantic face. "Your Highness." The man's eyes catch my form and he can only blink.

Behind him, a few other men come into the room. I see Athena and Naver among the small flock that just entered. But I also see another Naver in light blue scrub and wearing a surgical cap.

'Naver's twin?' Sash has the same question as I do.

In just a few seconds, these people have surrounded Lyall in his office, and instinctively, I step away from Lyall's desk into the room's corner. It seems like these people have an urgent matter to tell Lyall.

My pregnancy news can wait.

'They're the council, right?' Sash asks, 'And some other people too.'

When all their eyes fall on me, I step back until my back reaches the wall. It feels like they don't want me in the office to hear what they want to say.

"Um... Can I see you later?" I ask Lyall. My hands would not stop fidgeting, "Sorry... I will just go."

I am about to walk to the door when Lyall stops me with his word, "Stay."

Gasps have erupted from the people in his office. Only Athena and Naver seem calm about Lyall's decision.

"But Your Highness," the panicked guard protests, "she's not part of the council. And sh– she's a werewolf..." His nose scrunches in disgust when he looks at me. This man seems to hate my presence.

"And?" In a low tone, Lyall challenges the man to speak more.

"It's okay, Lyall," I feel like a mouse between two cats so I thought it's just best for me to come back sometime later.

"Stay," he repeats his word to me. My feet are more than willing to obey him. Then Lyall looks at the guard again. "And? What else is she, Roy?"

Roy gulps hard before he answers, "Y– your... mate, Your Highness?"

"Yes. Remember Roy, that before she is a werewolf, she is my mate," Lyall says, "So speak about her carefully."

The guard lowers his head to Lyall. "Forgive me, Your Highness."

Lyall then raises his chin to address the entire room. "My mate stays." His voice is final, with no room for negotiation. "Whatever you're going to say to me can be said to her."

I freeze on my spot. Lyall just defended me, and it sends butterflies flying all over my chest. Sash is wagging her tail in joy at this display of protectiveness.

"So," Lyall continues with a deep tone even though he leans on his desk casually, "What's the emergency that you all cannot wait until I am done talking to my mate?" There is a slight growl in his voice, which makes Sash's tail wagging even harder in glee.

Among the group of people in the office, Athena gives me a wink with a smirk. Next to her, Naver raises his frail thumb to me.

My butterfly heart shatters when I hear what Roy has to say. "There's been another attack in Fidre Village by rogue werewolves." He looks at me in wariness before he continues his report. "Six young females were kidnapped and half of the villagers are hurt, Your Highness. The victims all have these weird symbols on their hands. They all have been brought to the royal infirmary so Gavesh can assess them further."

All eyes in the room turn to me.

I take another step back, forgetting that my back is already on the wall. Gulping hard, I feel the sweat pouring out of me because of the intensity of their stares.

I am one werewolf among many lycans and rogue werewolves have just attacked their people.

Brilliant.

I might not survive today.

–to be continued–

Copyright @ Karasmara, 2021.