Tord's P.O.V

Tom slammed the door as he left the room in a rush. My laugh died down and I let out a heavy sigh.

I knew Tom was right. I know everything he said was true. There was nothing for me to worry about. I had absolutely nothing to worry about and I was completely aware of that. But the feeling of being doubted still lingered. Like I knew Tom was a real human. It's just... Why can't I ever be believed in? Why is everything I say have to be perceived as a joke or a lie?

The only times I'm ever taken seriously was in college presentations and in business transactions. Why? Literally No one listens to me. The only people who ever seemed to truly listen to me is Paul, Pat, Tom and, a majority of the time, Matt. But even at that, they can't seem to understand me.

To make it worse; my workers do as they're told, but in the end, they still don't listen to me half the time. And God knows when's the last time Edd listened to anyone. It's all very annoying but it was something I learned to deal with. Maybe in the future I'll be taken more seriously.

But regardless, the situation still really fucking pisses me off! It's just... Just... So, fucking frustrating!

Why can't I be understood for once?! Why can't anyone besides those I truly trust listen to me?!
Why does it seem like no one cares about what I have to say?!
Why does everyone seem to ignore me?!

Why? Why?! WHY?! "Agh!" I growled in distress and swung my foot in a swift kick straight into my headboard.

"Faen!" I hissed out and tumbled back onto the floor. I cradled my throbbing foot in my hands as I let out heavy breaths.

It's pointless to be mad! It's pointless to be mad. Just forget about it. Let it slide by like you've always let it before. You never let it bother you before, don't let it start bothering you now.

I repeated this in my head three or four times before taking a deep breath and exhaling heavily, "All right... Gotta take a shower..." Mumbling to myself, I pushed myself up from the floor and gathered my things.

The shower didn't take long. It was cold and quiet. No unwanted thoughts invaded my barren mind. My issues already locked behind closed doors of other inner turmoil. Just me, the sound of the water running and the numbing sensation the freezing water gave off.

It was oddly refreshing but my chest still felt heavy. Ignoring the feelings, I continued to get ready. Slipping on a clean nicer pair of dark jeans and a red t-shirt.

I looked into the bathroom mirror and took a deep breath, "Let's get this over with... Faster I can get home, sooner I can lay in bed with Tom..." The thought brought me instant comfort and joy. A faint smile pulled at my lips and I grabbed a pair of shoes and a slightly worn leather jacket.

Heading out the living room, the remaining feeling of distress from earlier was left behind in my room, leaving me only eagerness for my return back home, yet dread as to spending an extensive amount of time with Edd.

Tom and Matt still sat at the living room. But both now sported a glass of deep red wine, "Feeling better, Tord? You seemed a little anxious coming in." Matt asked gently watching me sit next to Tom.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Just a tough day at work." I hummed and laced up my shoes, ignoring Tom's stare bore into my head. "Business has been picking up a bit so we're a little more busy than usual."

Tom let out the slightest sigh, "Well that's certainly good for you but better make sure not to over work yourself, mkay?" He placed a hand on my knee and gave it a small squeeze, "When you feel overwhelmed step back a take a few deep breaths... You don't want to do anything irrational... " I knew Tom was referring to earlier and I knew he was right. But I already pushed it behind me. I think.

"You are certainly right; my love and I'll be just fine." I plucked the wine glass from Tom's hand and downed the contents of the glass.

Tom snatched the glass back with a frown, "Yeah I know I am. And what the hell are you wearing? Couldn't you at least put some effort into your outfit? You're going out for Jehovah's sakes."

Matt held back a snort and cleared his throat, "I'm backing Tom up. You're having a night out in town. Not going to the grocery store."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing? We're just going to the arcade. Probably go get some drinks. As far as I'm concerned, I have no reason to dress up so stop nagging. What the hell are you two even gonna be doing?"

"Nothing." Both Matt and Tom responded.

I narrowed my eyes at the two who answered far too quickly for my liking, "Uh huh... Nothing..."

"We're just gonna cook a nice dinner and drink some wine. Talk. Gossip. Nothing special." Matt sipped his wine.

Looking over at Tom, he busied himself with pouring more wine into his glass, "Yeah just some relaxation. Unlike you and Edd, Matt and I have a great relationship."

"And what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edd's voice rang out as he walked into the living room.

Matt cocked a smirk, "It means exactly what it means, Edd. You're a smart boy and can figure it out."

"Ha ha very funny. Like you and Tom have much of a friendship at all." Edd grumbled

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Tom shoot Edd a deadly glare. Taking his hand and giving it a small squeeze, I gave Tom a 'don't say anything' warning glance.

Matt frowned and Tom let out a small scoff, "Tom and I have a perfectly fine relationship thank you very much. More than you can say for yourself, Edd." I internally cringed at the suppressed rage in Matt's tone. It's rare to piss him off and I don't really want to cross that path.

"The sun is starting to set... You guys should head out now." Tom casually swished the wine around his glass with a blunt tone to his voice, clearly feeling the same rage as Matt.

"Yeah, we should." I quickly agreed with Tom and stood up trying to loosen the tension in the room, "Come on Edd, before the streets get busy. It's Friday night after all."

Edd nodded, "Yeah I guess you're right."

Matt gave us a strained smile, "Okay have fun guys! Please don't come home shit faced drunk. You vomit on the carpet; you're cleaning it up."

"Yes mum. We will do our best to stay sober." Edd mocked and smiled back, "We'll be fine, Matt. We are grown men. Not children."

"Even though you act like children..." Tom hummed.

This earned Tom a disappointed glare from Edd and I, "Now that's hardly a nice thing to say, baby." I sighed just wanting to leave without further issues.

"I'm not here to be nice, Tordy. Stone cold truth is what gets you passed stepping stones in life." Tom smiled for the first time since I left my room, "Honestly it's kinda funny in a sad way that I'm the youngest here and still have more maturity than you two. Hell, I legitly have the mental capacity of a child in some cases and I still don't pick fights for the sake of picking fights."

"You're picking a fight right now!" Edd exclaimed.

Tom shook his head, "No I'm not. I'm just being honest and you can't handle it."

"Okay we get it! I get it! We have issues to work out. Don't have to be a bitch about it..." Edd sighed, "I'll get the car started... But seriously, we'll be okay. Tord and I know how to care for ourselves. We'll figure it out..."

Not even a second after Edd left the room, Matt hopped up, "I guess I'll talk to him really quick. Haha today has been a bit of a shit day, hasn't it?" Matt patted my shoulder, "We know you guys are grown men. We just worry." He gave me a one final forced smile and ran after Edd.

Tom and I were left in silence as Tom ran his finger around the rim of the glass. He knew what I was gonna say. He was perfectly fine earlier. Happy and excited for tonight.

As soon as I opened my mouth to speak, Tom beat me to it, "Edd has just been pissing me off lately."

"I thought so..." I kneeled down in front of Tom, "Something is clearly bothering Edd and I'll find out what. But just like you told me, if something is bothering you, step back and take a breath before you say or do something you'd regret. Sure, Edd at some point was my best friend, but he has been in your life far longer than I have. I'm okay with the loss, but I know you aren't..."

Tom's jaw clenched and he stared down at his lap, "None of this would be happening if I just had a proper fucking heat cycle..."

My eyebrows furrowed at hearing this, "If some how you got away that day without any of us seeing you, you'd be in the clutches of that fucking wolf. You would possibly be dead. I would've never gotten the chance to express how I feel for you. Your life would be far worse than this right now if Edd didn't stop you. I know damn well that you can't push Edd out of your life so just... Think about what you're saying to him? I know damn well he takes your words to heart."

"Yeah..." Tom barely managed to mumble out.

Leaning in, I gave Tom a soft kiss on the center of his forehead, "Now show me a pretty smile. You're gonna have fun with Matt and don't you dare give a single thought about Edd and I. Focus on yourself and have fun." Tom hunched his shoulder so I gave his side a tickle, " Where's my baby's pretty little smile? He looks absolutely gorgeous with it on." Tom held back a laugh and pushed my hand away. I was about to tickle him again, but I saw a gentle smile sitting on his lips, "There's the happy boy I know and love..."

"You shouldn't keep Edd waiting..." Tom urged me to get up, "Please for the love of Jehovah, Tord... Don't mess things up further... I do hold Edd dear to me, but he's your best friend. I hate to see you two fight... "

"You really should stop worrying about its Tom." I ruffled his hair, "Edd's not wrong. We will be okay. "

Tom sighed in frustration, "I know that, Tord. But Edd is like a brother to me and you are my partner. It really pains me to see you fight."

My lips pursed together and I nodded, "Okay... Tomorrow morning I guarantee you that Edd and I will be all buddy buddy again. They call alcohol the best truth serum for a reason after all. I'll have everything settled."

"I'll hold you to that... Now go. I'm sure Edd's waiting for you." Tom stood and walked to the door with me.

I stooped down and gave Tom a soft kiss, "Don't fall asleep until I get back home..."

"I'll try not to..." Tom hummed and gripped the edge of my sleeve before I walked off. Turning to look at him, Tom's grip tightened, "Please Tord... Be safe... Don't drink so heavily if you're gonna drive... Call Matt and I if y'all are too drunk... I'd rather not get a call from the hospital..."

I blinked and processed his words. He's paranoid? Cute. I pulled Tom into a hug and kissed him deeply, "Jeg elsker deg, min kjære" I mumbled against his lips and let go of him.

I chuckled at Tom's bright red face and walked off to the car, "Ready Edd?"

Edd pushed himself off the car door he was leaning back on next to Matt, "Yeah, I was just waiting on you."

Matt also pushed himself off and looked at us pretty seriously, "Behave yourselves. I don't want to hear about bar fights and lawsuits tomorrow, you hear. Remember, tonight is to rekindle your lost friendship. Find out what went wrong and patch it up. I want to hear sappy stories tomorrow. I'll have your heads on stakes if we get a visit from the Police department."

We both shuddered at the careless threat as we watched Matt make his way back to the porch where Tom stood leaning against the post. Edd slapped a hand on my shoulder, breaking my gaze from the other two, "Let's get this over with yeah?" Edd had a near forced smile that honestly made me want to bust his lip open.

Shrugging off Edd's hand off me, I spared one final glance to Tom who smiled tiredly and waved before Matt took his hand and dragged him inside. "Yeah, we got lot to talk about. I'll take the wheel so hurry and get in. Not gonna lie, I'm kinda starving right now and just want to eat some food."

"You and I both..." Edd grumbled as he trudged to the passenger side, "Wonder if the arcade food is as good as we remember it to be."

I actually cracked a small smile as we both buckled up, "Ah I never liked the food. Tasted like it came from the garbage."

Edd chuckled, "Says the one who would compete in speed eating competitions for some free tokens."

My stomach churned at the memories of those competitions, "Ugh... Please don't remind me... You'll make me lose my appetite..."

"You have an iron stomach, dude! Like hell you'll lose your appetite! I've watched you devour 10 hamburgers in 5 minutes!" Edd exclaimed.

I let out a fake gag, "I will let go of this wheel and vomit on you... Wait a damn minute! Why are you shaming me on my old habits when you did the same shit!"

Edd leaned back in the seat, "Because It's fun to watch you squirm." He said smugly, "You've always got so annoyed by the things that you don't want to hear."

My jaw self-consciously clenched, "It's more like I'd rather not remember it. Honestly, can we not speak of it again? I actually might vomit of we keep going. "

"Okay fine I'll stop if it means you don't throw a bitch fit." Edd grumbled and crossed his arms

My eye twitched, "I am not throwing a bitch fit. If anyone being childish, it's you. So, for the love of fuck; shut your God damn mouth before I shut it for you. I just don't want to remember the god-awful feeling of vomiting for what felt like hours in a toilet. The cramps of when there's no food and you're vomiting bile."

From my peripheral vision I watched Edd's body tense and his eyes widen slightly, " Yeah..." I sighed, "So can you drop it? Please?"

"Y-Yeah of course, man..." Edd forced out in a nervously strained tone, "Why didn't you tell us...?"

Biting the inside of my cheek, I thought for a minute. The possibility of telling them never crossed my mind. "I actually don't know..."

"You... Don't know?" Edd questioned, "You don't know why you never told us about binging and purging with the chance of developing an eating disorder?"

The arcade's sign loomed over the street as we got closer, "That's right..." I glanced at Edd with tired eyes. Done with this evening already. "Actually, thinking more on it... I was still fairly new to England. I had a decent friend group and I was finally fluent in English. I was desperate to keep that. To keep friends. I did what I thought would keep you guys around. In the end, I really only ended up entertaining you with myself torture. But I thought if I did everything you and the others found amusing or fun, I wouldn't lose my only friends Because the ones I had before lives 2+ hours away by plane."

Edd sat in horror leaving us in an insufferable silence as I pulled up to the arcade, "Past is the past. The fact that it took me this long to finally come to that conclusion just means that I don't really give a shit what happened back then. I was just happy to be around my friends. It's not like it was your fault anyways. I did that to myself so get that look off your face and let's go inside. I'd like to go home tonight and be able to keep my head." I huffed making a reference to Matt's threat.

Finding a parking spot, I was quick to turn off and leave the car. Edd scrambled after me in worry, "Tord, I don't think this is something to just drop and forget about!" He was hot on my heels as I walked up to the dark tinted glass double doors.

I gripped the handle of the door tightly, "It was my problem and I'm saying to drop it. It doesn't have any relevance anymore so just drop it. Please." Pulling open the door I walked into a blacklight room with neon colors shining everywhere. I was instantly cradled with a sense of familiarity of the old building. The smell of grease wafted through the air and the sound of children and teens overpowered the techno music playing on the speakers.

Edd went quite behind me. I knew he wanted to keep pressing for answers but I'm not the topic of tonight. He is.

We walked further into the building when Edd finally said something, "It doesn't look like it changed much at all..."

I twisted my head to look over my shoulder at him, "No it doesn't. But that just means how well this place is taken care of. I bet they still have some classic games." I flashed a quick smile and made a beeline path to the bar. It's always been there to cater to the adults who brought their children so I was glad to see it there still.

Edd sighed heavily behind me and followed close behind. I slid myself into a bar stool and crossed my arms on the counter, "Two Heinekens?" I asked the lonely bar tender.

Without saying a word, the bartender opened a cooler and pulled out two beers and popped the tabs, "Anything else?"

"Yeah, get a tab going for us."

"No sir."

Edd and I spoke at the same. I frowned and rolled my eyes as Edd slipped the man his card to pay for the drinks, "We're good for now I guess." I mumbled

The bartender shrugged and charged Edd's card and handed it back with a nod. Taking a swig of the beer Edd watched me intensely, "We aren't going to keep talking about it. I have nothing else to say about it. How about we talk about YOU."

Edd sighed, "And what exactly is wrong with me, Tord?" I choked on my beer and slapped a hand over my mouth to keep from spitting it out. Edd jumped at my reaction, "What?"

I sucked in a sharp breath and coughed out the beer that got caught in my throat, "You... are so God damn clueless." Edd raised an eyebrow, "How do you not see that you're a big source of our issues? I am pretty damn sure I've been over this with you before."

Edd let out a long sigh and set his drink down, "I realize I haven't been the best of friends lately, but-"

"What a fucking understatement." I scoffed out.

With furrowed brows Edd continued, "I realize I haven't been a good friend," He repeated himself more slowly now treading carefully with his choice of words, "But... You have to look at things in my prospective. I understand I might've misjudged you all and you have every right to be angry and annoyed with me. However, even after having it been rudely brought up, I still stand by my opinion."

"Oh?" I swiveled in the barstool to look over the arcade, "And what exactly is your opinion, Edd?"

Edd hesitated with his answer, "My opinion is that, Tom doesn't deserve you. He's far too kind and fragile to be around a brute like you. Tom deserves someone who wouldn't snap at him. Or hurt him. Emotionally and physically. Tom needs someone who would value his humanity."

I huffed out in annoyance and stood. Snatching my beer from the counter, I didn't spare a glance at the man behind me. "Let's go sit in a booth."

Not waiting for him to respond I set out for the tables across the arcade near the food bar. Weaving my way through the younger people who ran about without a single care in the world. Can't help myself but to feel a little jealous of their carelessness of the world ahead of them.

Throwing myself into the first empty booth I saw, I slouched in the faux leather covered seat and took a gulp of beer. A moment later Edd slid in across from me, "So I don't value Tom's humanity, huh?" I asked and shook my head, "How many times do I have to prove to you that I'll give my life for that man?" I paused and laughed, "Why do I have to prove anything to you? Why the hell am I seeking for your validation for? Your opinion on our relationship means abso-fucking-lutely nothing to me."

Edd's jaw visibly clenched and unclenched, "I just don't think you're a good match for him."

"Oh, for fucks sake!" I slammed my beer on the table, "Please do tell me, old friend. Tell me who would be a good match for Tom. You?"

My words settled on Edd before his face flushed red and his eyes went wide, "What the fuck?! No! Never! Tom is like a little brother to me! Never once have I thought of Tom like that!"

Glancing over Edd's flustered state I curled my lip in annoyance, "You sure about that Eddie boy? Everything you've said and done thus far since that day says otherwise."

Edds shoulders dropped in distraught, "Really...?" He asked quietly and groaned loudly when I nodded. "I didn't mean any of my actions to come off that way! I was just trying to look out for him." Edd propped his elbows on the table and pressed the heel of his palms into his eyes, "Fuck man... I'm just worried for Tom. He seems so lost and unsure of himself and it's too out of character for him. I just wanted to make sure he was safe and okay. And given your reputation... I just don't want Tom getting hurt on our watch. I could never face Anthony and Beathany and explain that a man they put trust in hurt their son who's already had his fair share of abuse from another man."

I crossed my arms and listened to Edd ramble. Silence followed close behind as I studied Edds body language. His shoulders hunched as he stared down at the table. His hands gripped the sides of his hair and he was bouncing his leg as he usually did when nervous. Probably caused by my lack of response. But overall, he was feeling regret. As he should be. "Tom is lost and unsure of himself," I finally spoke up. Edd let out a held breath but did not move from his position. "But we are working on it. Hes not acting out of character. If anything, he is breaking character. Hes just... confused on what to do with himself. Give it some time. He'll be okay and I'll be there to help him with anything he needs."

Leaning forward I dropped my voice, "Now on that other thing you said... what was it about? Oh yeah... My reputation..." Edd shivered and I smirked, "I'm very aware I'm not perfect. I'm very aware I can be... dangerous. But I don't lash out unless I'm given a reason to lash out. I'm not in prison yet now, am I?" I fell back into the seat, "Tom knows good and well what my emotions look like. He knows what he's getting into. Does that mean I'll hurt him? Of course not. I love Tom with every fiber of my being and don't wish to hurt him. Will I make any promises? No, I won't."

"No?!" Edd sat up from his hunched position "What the hell do you mean no?!"

Taking a long breath in, the exhale was short and fast. "Are you blind? Tom and I have a pretty big height gap between us. We are also very different in build. We've also gotten into physical fights before. But they were always short because well, Tom isn't all that strong. Especially compared to me. I don't want to hurt Tom but you are right. Given my reputation, I can't guarantee I won't hurt him." My mind flashed to the bruises left on Tom's biceps. "I'm not always aware of the strength I'm putting behind things. Like you said this morning I have no right to unintentionally or intentionally put a hand on Tom. But I promise you I'd never Intentionally do anything to him. Plus, he might be incredibly weaker than me, but the little boy knows how to pack a punch." I tapped the healing bruise on my cheek, "If I did anything that was seriously hurting him, he'd let me know."

Edd bit his tongue. Understandably so too. If I was Edd, I would also be conflicted with everything that just came from my mouth. He cracked his fingers as he thought for a response, "I don't like it." He stated with mixed emotions, "I don't like that you can't promise me for sure you won't hurt him. But he likes you a lot. That much is pretty clear. And you have done a lot for him so far." Edd let out a stressed sigh, "I never hated your relationship with Tom. I am pretty happy for the both of you. I'm just... weary? You two didn't exactly have the best relationship in the past."

I let a lazy smirk play on my lips, "What if I told you I only provoked Tom to get his attention? After all it's the only way I ever got his undivided attention. Only way he'd touch me was through violence."

Edd let out a gag, "Ew you masochist..."

"Actually, Tom's the Masochistic one." I hummed

The priceless look of further disgust twisted on Edd's features is something I'll never forget.