Lapis's Pov

I was expecting my first week back after break to be absolute hell. But it was actually fine.

First thing Monday morning I had gone to the library to find Mangano. Mostly to apologize. I felt awful for ditching her. She was my best friend, and I needed to get her back. She was a little upset at first, and it took me a few days to successfully apologize, but after I tried  to explain how I felt around the time Red asked me out she started to come around.

On Thursday afternoon we sat in the pool chairs outside. The pool wasn't open because it was still too cold and the chairs were wet from the light rain all day, but it was nice and cool.

"Can you try to explain it again?" She asked. I nodded.

"It felt like I was underwater. At the bottom of the ocean always. And I couldn't escape even if I wanted to because I was chained... and I had something to protect. But when I explained it to Red, he made me feel like whatever was down there wasn't my responsibility to protect. He still makes me feel like that," I admitted. Mangano sent me a small smile then looked down at the empty pool, where my gaze was cast.

"I know you really care about him. And I know that he made you feel... free, I guess. Which kind of made you forget about everything else. So why did you end things with him?" I thought for a while. Why did I break up with Red?

"I guess... in the end he succeeded in making me not care too much. I just needed some time to figure shit out." Mangano nodded.

"Are you going to ask him back out?" I shook my head.

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I think... I still love him. I just need some time with him where I don't have to worry about anything else." Mangano smiled.

"Well, you're sixteen. You have all the time in the world to figure out what you want. And a relationship at this point doesn't matter." I sighed and leaned back against the wet plastic. It was starting to get dark.

"Are you worried about getting home?" She shook her head.

"I don't have any homework.  I'll stay until you kick me out." We both chuckled, but I gave up quickly.

"I just... can I talk about it? Like some of the things we did together? It'd be nice to talk about it.

"Fire away." She smiled.

"I mean... I never really had anyone to talk to about stuff while we were dating. He was the only person I really talked to because his friends didn't like me."

"What about your mom?" I chuckled a bit.

"Yeah, right. 'Hey, Mom guess what? I snuck out and smoked pot last night!' I'm sure that would go over well." Mangano snorted.

"Okay, so maybe you shouldn't vent to your mom." I joined her in laughing, staring up at the sky.

"I don't know, maybe I just need to be with him, but not his friends. Like, I think we need to get away." I watched as an airplane flew overhead.

"But you're only sixteen. And he's only...?"

"Seventeen," I answered.

"Exactly. Where would you two even go?" I shrugged, leaning my head to the side.

"I don't know. Red said he was working on getting his license because he knows a guy who's looking to get rid of a car for cheap. Maybe if he gets his license in time for summer, we can go somewhere. I know my mom wouldn't care if I said I was going with you or something," I turned back to see her reaction. She was shaking her head.

"While I'm not saying you should, if you happen to, I'm leaving a week early with my family. We're going to my Grandparents' house for a few weeks. That should be plenty of time to give cover." I smiled.

"I'll let you know what happens."

Late that night, I slipped my phone out and unblocked Red's number.

"Here's goes nothing," I whispered.

Hey

It didn't take long to get an answer.

Hey. What's up?

I'm sorry. I just needed space.

After a few nerve-wracking minutes of watching him type, I finally got the message.

I love you.

I love you too

(A/N) Hey babes! Happy Lappy's coming back!