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"Ather," I murmur, and his eyes immediately focus on mine. I discretionally place my hand against my jean pocket, feeling the familiar bump of Dox's comm link.

"Yes?" Ather looks at me, almost tearing my heart in two. I feel as though I'm about to hurt him even though he's the one who has hurt me.

"I need to go to the bathroom." His face falls at an alarming rate, but I maintain my composure. I need to be left alone for a while, safe from his watch. I'm not going to wait around for Ather to disappoint me over and over again. To hell with compassion. I'm going to see my brother.

***

"But war, and pestilence, disease, and death,

Sweep the superfluous myriads from the earth...

The births and deaths contend with equal strife,

And every pore of Nature teems with Life." -Erasmus Darwin

For a top-secret, allegedly well-sponsored facility, Project Luna surely wasn't made for someone with an eye for color. In my entire stay here, the extent of architectural design has varied from gray to blindingly white. And I, in my usual fashion, stick out like a sore thumb.

Walking alongside Ather, I feel almost apprehensive toward the brightly lit-you guessed it-white hallway. My blonde curls are in a state of duress, defying gravity in several areas. My old pajamas that I never found the time to change out of are covered in dust and dirt and I'm not sure I even want my eyes to venture near the sneakers that are so loudly shuffling along the clean tiles. I feel as if I'm the walking embodiment of nigrum sanguis, dirtying the facility with my uncleanliness. At least, that's how I feel I look like as Ather refuses to look anywhere but at me. After accepting my request to go to the bathroom, he's taken the responsibility of guiding me along the way. Normally I'd feel relieved to have some sort of guidance in this maze of underground halls, but as Ather's eyes bore into my back the whole time, I feel as though I should be running for my life.

"What's your last name?" I ask, attempting to ease the tension with some small talk. He continues to stare at me, so I make an effort to make eye contact.

"Keating," He replies, his lip quirking up just enough for me to notice. I notice that his originally blindingly blue eyes have settled for a hazel-green.

"This is ridiculous," I murmur, stopping myself to take a step closer to him. "Have you had lens surgery? I remember that was all the rage back in the day."

He clicks his tongue. "No, unfortunately I don't see the appeal of surgically reshaping my face. My eye color has always stayed the same. Blue-green."

I roll my eyes at him, turning back to the hall. "I don't see anything wrong with changing the color of your eyes. I used to be dead-set on making mine green."

"What made you decide not to?" He calls from behind me. I almost freeze at his question, but steady my emotions enough to drag my feet forward.

My mom was dying. We could barely support her hospital fees, let alone our own necessities.

Plus, my mom had brown eyes. I couldn't bear to destroy something I inherited from her.

"No reason. Just decided I didn't want them." I'm beyond being spoiled, though I do have a good idea of how well-off my life has been. Yes, I have a dead mother and a missing father, but before all of that, I was practically living in luxury. I could afford to think about changing my eye color or something miscellaneous and petty. I would say I miss those moments, but in reality what I miss most are the things that I know I will never have again. Like arguing with my mom over why I should change my eye color, or watching my parents bicker over something stupid I said. I want that so much that it physically pains me to be standing her knowing that I can't have what I want. All I have is memories, and only the memories that play tricks with my mind and make me horribly unstable.

"Do you think they'll ever cure it?" I think out loud. Ather takes a swift step closer to me so that we're walking side-by-side.

"The strain? I think we can," he murmurs next to me. "I think we will."

I glance at him. "I wasn't talking about the strain."

It takes a few moments for my words to have an effect on him. By the time they do, his face gets noticeably paler, as if the state of my duress is his problem. It's far from a heart-warming thought. Being a burden is nothing but more burdening.

"Your PTSD," He says, hesitatingly before placing a hand on my shoulder to stop me, "is not a disease. I care about you, Lia, and because of that, I want you to know everything you need to know. I don't want to lie to you. As long as you're in this facility, around potential triggers, I don't think you can ever fully help yourself. You'll continuously relive traumatic moments until the point that you get accustomed to passing through them with partial lucidity."

Tears well up in my eyes, much to my frustration. I want to be able to help myself. I want to stop this self-pitying complex that I have going for me. I want to be able to care for someone without imagining their death over and over again.

"It wasn't always like this, you know. It used to be small things, like a hospital glove or some memorabilia that my mom left behind." For some reason I feel the need to justify myself to him. "You're choosing to leave me because you think you're a trigger. Well, if what you say is true, then I will always be finding new people to torment myself with. Liv. Maddox. Hell, maybe even Nes. It won't stop, Ather. What I want is for it to stop. What I need, though, is some support. I need someone to not run away from me. I need someone to just for one second think about something other than keeping me safe from danger."

Ather manages to focus on me this whole time, so I take that as a cue to step in front of him.

"I think you can help me, Ather. I don't know why, or how, but I think you can be the one to help me. You're a doctor, right? Act like one. Please, don't give up on me. Don't act like you leaving is a way to help me get better, because it isn't."

Ather frowns at me, as if battling with himself. Just as I'm about to add another word, his internal struggle seems to finish with him focusing on something behind me.

"We're here," Ather says quietly. I look behind me, and sure enough, there's the door to the women's restroom. Open-mouthed, I look back at him. Did any of what I just said register in his mind?

"Okay," I say brokenly before marching away from him, making sure to slam the door behind me.

***

I don't cry, surprisingly. I feel no remorse as I rummage through my jacket pocket, looking for the comm link. This was expected. Ather never would've conceded to helping me if it would mean he would anger a higher up. All I feel is an iron weight of regret for even wasting my time speaking to him. For all I know, he could be wondering whether I'm planning on breaking out. I could've spilled my entire plan with him right alongside my heart, and he probably wouldn't take a second glance before calling in backup.

My finger finds the comm button on it's own accord. The low buzz of the ring makes my heart beat infinitely faster.

Calling so soon, Freshie? I didn't know you were the clingy type.

I somehow manage to crack a crooked smile at the sound of Dox's voice. Out of everyone I know, he could make me laugh even at the worst moments.

"You were right, Dox. It's either now or never."

I'm glad you agree. Looks like I'll have to prepare for a hot date tonight. Is Mr. Asshat still hanging around with you?

I roll my eyes before realizing that he won't be able to see me.

"He'll be taking off soon, probably around the time I get back from the bathroom."

Perfect. I'll be there soon. Don't get startled if you hear a loud noise.

"What do you mean by-"

And with that, the comm link sizzles out into silence. I feel myself slump to the ground out of exhaustion.

I'm going to break out of my little hospital room.

More importantly, I'm going to see my brother.

***

A/N: ....What? Did Liliana.... update?! Amazing, I know. It's been a while and I could get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, but I managed to actually deliver in the end, right? Chapter 14 will be coming much sooner since I have that one already planned out, so that's good. The good stuff isn't even here yet, guys. I keep saying this every chapter, but it's true. I swear, you're all going to be freaking out in the next few additions. I mean it.

In other news, I finally have managed to get my life in order enough to figure out my personal cast list for TLP. THAT'S PRETTY COOL. Would you guys like to see it sometime? I've been making edits and they've been pretty awesome, so I'll see if I can do some sort of large author's note where I incorporate the cast. I'd love to know how you guys would cast the characters, too!

Major props to @CandaceMJ for gaining some new readers. We've talked like once and I think she's maybe an okay person. Just kidding. I'm clingy and message her a lot. Shoot her a hello for me. Also, I highly recommend you read her story Chameleon because it will legitimately blow your pants off. Pants. Off.

Don't forget to vote/comment!

Thoughts on Athia? What is even happening with them? Even I have no idea. Did any hearts break? Is anyone rooting for Maddox (muahahaha)?

Chase will definitely be in the next chapter, so all of you who like him, there you go! (You might not like what you hear.) I need to stop myself before I give my entire plot line away.

As usual,

Stay lunar,

Liliana