CHAPTER SIX
nocturnal worries

ELEANOR COULDN'T SLEEP AND SHE DIDN'T WANT TO BOTHER FINNICK, SO SHE OPTED TO JUST LOUNGING IN HER ROOM. The oddly perfect room was a stark contrast to life in District 4 and Eleanor despised it, She missed the always unlocked window from her bedroom, the one Finnick would always crawl through whenever his memories got too much. It was such an odd thing to miss, but Eleanor Eves missed the cold breeze that always engulfed her room. She missed the smell of the sea which always seemed to echo in the streets of The Trawler. She missed Mr Ives, who always found himself injured and in need of stitches.

The odd warmth in her room tonight was stuffy, adding on to the painful headache Eleanor had developed.

She laid on the oddly soft blankets, refusing to get underneath them. Nothing felt right; it was all artificial and temporary and part of Eleanor was scared that if she blinked then she'd be dead in the arena. It felt sickly on her skin, almost suffocating. She wanted nothing more than to fall asleep on the rough fabric of the family quilt that her Nana had made years prior.

She didn't even get to say goodbye to her own mother, the realisation hit her immediately, a punch to the gut which seemed to wind her. Annie had come to say goodbye, presenting her with a necklace with a cockle hanging from it. It was a kind gift, one Eleanor hoped would accompany her corpse in her funeral. Some other people she had cared for, though her mother was absent from the short list of those who she wanted to say goodbye to. She wondered if her reaping brought her mother comfort, perhaps the final image of her father vanishing behind the closed doors of the Justice Building and finally alleviating the gaping hole that engulfed Sue Eves whole.

Maybe Eleanor's inevitable death would bring her the closure she needed to finally move on.

She heard the faint knocking from the door, but barely registered it. It was late, probably at least three in the morning, so she simply ignored it. When the door finally opened, she lazily looked up and saw the solemn face of Finnick Odair.

Immediately, Eleanor averted her eyes away from the sorrowful waves that haunted his gaze. She refused to look at him. His eyes were strangers to her, filled with emotions Eleanor wished they weren't full of. He immediately wrapped his arms around her, closing the bedroom door besides him. Eleanor shook her head, pulling away from him with a great amount of reluctance. She breathed in and out, through her nose and then her mouth. Her voice cracked ever so slightly, "Don't look at me like that."

Finnick must've frowned.She could hear it in the way his voice lowered ever so slightly. It was as though every ounce of him had been turned upside down, his frown echoing in his very being as she refused to meet his gaze. "Like what?"

She huffed ever so slightly, rolling her eyes as she swallowed. Don't cry, god don't let him see me cry. She sat down on the soft bed, her hands resting on her lap. She finally replied. "Look at me like a normal person, not like some dying kid." She straightened up, still refusing to look at him as he sat down . She knew it was obvious she had been crying, her cheeks dyed a bright red and her eyes blotchy. She felt herself collapse into him the moment he sat down, pulling her body close to him. Don't leave me, never leave me.

His muffled apologies stung her repetitively, sharp knives sticking into her side continuously. "I'm so sorry." This is all my fault. I should've thought about what he'd do to you before I told him no.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," she sniffled back, her words true and filled with pain as she whispered them. Truly, he didn't have anything to apologise for. Reapings were based on luck, or unluckiness. Her name was in that bowl four times, she had a four in a million chance, yet it seemed as though that chance was what happened. She felt her hands slip into his, Finnick not even flinching. She squeezed his hand tightly, finally meeting his tearful eyes. His tanned cheeks were dyed red, nose stuffy, and a tide pooling in his sea green eyes. She placed her hand on his cheek, careful as she swiped at the tears.  "You've been crying."

She sniffled lightly. "So have you." Eleanor wiped away yet another tear, one of her hands still pressed on his face. She hesitantly moved her hand away from his cheek, resting it on her lap. Finnick took that hand into his own, her heart fluttering with a swell she always felt around him. "Nel, you have to-"

Eleanor interrupted him. "Kill? Hurt innocent kids?"

Finnick swallowed, daring to beg to the selfless girl who sat in front of him. His hands clenched in her grip, warm and suffocating. "Please?"

Eleanor pulled her hand away from his, holding it in her lap. She turned away from him, refusing to even look his way. "No."

"I can't lose you!" Finnick cried out, a shrill that shook Eleanor to her core. Gone was the reserved Capitol persona that sometimes stung Finnick Odair's real being, replaced with the scared boy he was really. The mask had lifted and Finnick was naked before her eyes, vulnerable and open for her to peer in. Eleanor found her blue eyes meeting him, his eyes tainted furiously with terror at the concept of losing her. It made her entire being quake, eyes filled with the venomous thought of what Finnick Odair was practically asking her to do. "I don't think I will survive if I lost you."

Yet, it infuriated Eleanor. She glared at him furiously, her voice a snake's hiss. "I won't lose myself for Capitol entertainment." Her eyes widened ever so slightly as Finnick stared at her, breathing in and then out gradually. Her blue eyes softened from the slits they had become, now filled with regret and remorse for what she had insinuated. Her words were knives, wounding him as they sunk in.  "I-"

Finnick's whisper tore into her. "You aren't wrong." He looked down, not even meeting the eyes that had always brought him comfort.

Eleanor shook her head at him. "No, Finn, I am. I- I just don't want to lose a piece of myself," she brought her knees up to her chest, burying her face into them. Her voice was muffled, but Finnick heard every word that came out.  "If I win, I think I would."

"I wouldn't let you," Finnick softly whispered to her, leaning ever so slightly into her frame. His hands laced with his once more. His softened, almost artificially perfected, fingers caressed her callous tips. "If I have to lose myself more, then I gladly would if it meant you stayed the same."

"You really think I have a chance in that arena?" Her lips quirked upwards into a small smile as she finally met his sea green eyes.

Her question was genuine, wanting to know whether he had hope or whether he was just desperate. She studied him in that moment, eyes transfixed on every movement belonging to Finnick. How his shoulder quivered ever so slightly, how a frown widened on his face, but how his sea green eyes held a spark Eleanor hadn't seen in a while.

A spark which could ignite hope. A spark which was fuelled with lies.

A spark which would soon fade out.

He nodded at her, words poisoned with lies as he spoke. "You do."

i love adding small descriptions that are meant to foreshadow but are the most stupid things ever.

my only hint will be to keep an eye on how eleanor is sometimes described.

BUT NEXT CHAPTER IS THE TRIBUTE PARADE AND YOU GUYS ALSO MEET ODETTE !!! I LOVE ODETTE SM

ALSO FEEL FREE TO CHECK OUT THE PLAYLIST I MADE FOR THE LUCKY ONE

it basically just has some music that rlly reminds me of future chapters and themes. if anyone is interested i could always explain certain song choices

HERE YOU GO !!!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist 5UrFdtiVZUTQXBEWPmAn3P?si=JMOdEcUmSPmt6GsDxB9OUg