Dear Maria,

My time has come. I can see death coming, but why does my angel have crooked wings? I guess I know which side this messenger comes from. Do I fear my end, Maria? I don't.

But, I fear that when I die, all my memories of you will perish along with my conscious mind.

My heartbeat is slowly dwindling; I believe this will be my last letter to you.

I love you so much, Maria Ventura; I don't regret having you in my life or heart or laying down my life in your feet as I burn in the fever of my memory of you.

Do I believe that I have loved you the right way? I do, yet some may argue differently. But they are not me, nor are they you. The way I loved you is a whisper; I did my best to let it known but never had the courage to say it a bit louder. So I settled in the shadows, for that is what I am. A shadow who could only watch over you, whenever you find your way toward the darkness. But know this Maria, throughout your life, there was never a time that you trudged destiny's cruelness alone. I have always been there my love.

I cried when you did, and when you bled, I shed mine in unison. Every pain you felt, I felt it a million times over.

If you have any regrets about that night. I want you to let it go. Because I would have done everything to take the fall. There's nothing in this world that will ever stand between my will and your happiness.

That evening, I stayed inside my car, hoping to catch your husband when he left the premises of your house. I waited and waited.

I had no intention to enter your house, given your son was there. I was so glad you asked Valerie to move to a friend's house. It was probably the best thing you could have done.

Is that why he came barging into your house like a madman? Is that why your husband started screaming "Where is your daughter?"

I found it funny how every house in that neighbourhood turned off its lights whenever they heard you and your husband fighting. Didn't they care? Well, maybe they would have if you were like them.

But you were not; you were never allowed to befriend any of your neighbour's wives. Your husband was such a cruel man. If he didn't love you anymore, he should have just ignored you, instead, he made you suffer. Why Maria?

I believe you did everything you could to make him see how much you loved him, but he was blind. As blind as those who were born without sight, for he only understood darkness.

My love, I sat inside that car with a knife in my hand, but when I saw your son running out from your house, face swollen and bleeding-I knew, laying in wait was no longer an option.

Did you know that I knew your son? He was such a nice kid. I spoke with him, one too many times. I promised to watch over him and make sure that he and you were always safe.

He was running with haste, begging for help, but the people around your neighbourhood remained deaf, or should I say, pretended to be deaf. So I had no choice, I ran towards him and hugged him. He looked up at me and begged, "Please protect me."

That was the final draw, Maria; I asked your son to run towards the nearest police station or to any person he might know from the neighbourhood.

After he left, I slowly walked towards your house. I held my knife as firmly as I could. My adrenaline was pumping, eyes focused on the silhouette of your husband that was visible against the sheer curtains.

I stood there a moment longer and decided to enter by the window, but before I could. That's when I saw it.

Maria, it must have been too much, wasn't it? You must have reached your limit. Your pure heart must have been broken into pieces, where compassion failed to mean anything anymore.

I watched how you walked up to him with a knife hidden behind your back. I saw it vividly because I was watching from the sidelines.

He had his back turned from you, cursing and mumbling something about having his life destroyed. He kept blaming you for his misfortunes his heart-whatever that meant.

I wanted to stop you, but I was a second too late. As you raised that knife in the air, its tip sparked and it came down fast toward his nape. I stood frozen in place as the knife was sheathed on his body, over and over, relentlessly; you kept going, stabbing him again and again and again. It's as if his lifeless body had not received enough punishment. You were deranged, screaming, "I hate you!" with every drop of that knife.

His blood splattered all over you, on the floor and the walls of your house. The furniture and ceramics were also given a bath of crimson fluid. Would it be crazy to say I was so proud of you? Not because you killed someone but because, once again, you had proven me wrong. You never needed me to take care of your husband. The light that was inside you, which I believed to have been extinguished, remained. The strength which had always been a part of you was never weakened. Your soul, which I long believed to have been shattered was as strong as ever. You have proven how worthy you were to be loved, and how you truly deserved to be my Maria. You are a woman who never truly needed to beg for help. You were invincible in your own way.

After you had enough, I watched how you stood from his corpse and walked towards your bedroom, but before you could remove your bloody clothes, Sheldon appeared. Why did that boy return?

I saw how shocked he was Maria, it must have scared him. He ran up to you and asked what happened. You smiled and begged him to wait for you outside. I hid behind one of the bushes you often trimmed into the shape of a heart. I loved that bush; it was you in so many ways, beautiful and majestic, and it never gave up on living despite the constant cutting of its branches. That Bush never stopped growing its leaves, it never gave up, just like you.

After thirty minutes, you came out of your house showered and clean. You immediately went for your car and drove off with Sheldon.

Just as you left, your neighbour's light came on, and that's when I knew they had called the cops.

Making my decision was not difficult my love. I wanted you to have a better life. I longed for you to live peacefully with your kids. So, there was one thing left for me to do.

I love you Maria Ventura, more than life itself. I needed you for me to live just as the plants needed the sun to survive. I had to look up to you, more than the wolves needed to howl at the silver moon. But most of all, I needed you to be happy, just as you were when we were young.

I stepped inside your house with only one thing in mind. I will take the blame, I will gladly accept the fall.

I first took care of the bathroom and your bloody clothes. Then, I hugged your husband's corpse, smearing myself with his blood. The knife you left on the floor, I took it and wrapped my hands around its handle. I used my knife to stab your husband again in the places where you stabbed him. I spat on him and dropped some of my blood all over his body.

I made sure that they would never find a trace of you, and they never did.

I don't blame you for not saying a word inside the courthouse, it was a good move.

I want you to know that being inside that courthouse was the happiest I've ever been. Do you know why? It's because you were finally looking at me, eyes full of unreadable emotion-but I could tell, you were thankful.

My love, I wish my sacrifice led you to a better life. Did you? Were you happy after he died?

Merry Christmas Maria! The pain in my chest grows stronger every day. I think I'm about to leave. We celebrate Christmas for Jesus's birth. It made me think about my birthday. So many of them had come and gone. I remember we had a tradition of making a wish on our birthday. I must have accumulated a lot of unsaid wishes for those. Maybe I can make one now.

Maria, if I should ever leave this world before you do, know that I will wait for you on the other side. If you had gone before me, I will search for you. I'm confident that I will find you because I will never stop. It will be difficult, but I'm certain, I will find you because you're forever enshrined in my heart and soul.

Now for my final wish.
I wish only for one thing. If you are still here, I hope and pray to the heavens for once, let the universe conspire in my favor, and lead these letters to your hands.

I love you Maria Ventura...

Always and forever
Benjie Tobias

***

The old woman smiled despite the relentless pain inside her chest. As the heart monitor beside her bed gave a loud beeping noise, she closed her eyes, took one final breath, and whispered, "Thank you, " before her consciousness drifted away.

Five heartbeats later, the soul of the old woman inside room 201 floated toward the heavens.