A long streak of lightning divided the horizon. The loud rumble from a cluster of dark clouds appeared, which seemed to mark the beginning of Armageddon. The weather was bent on harmonising with the darkness that was slowly creeping within the walls of the lone building in the area.

                                                                   ***

(East Wing)
     
Samson awoke with a headache, his throat dry and in desperate need of water. He cursed and headed for the water dispenser. Drinking alcohol was not something he usually indulged in, especially when he was at work, but those damned criminals got the best of him. He never should have allowed their taunt to affect him so much. Now, he is suffering the consequences.
     
Mark felt his co-worker walk up to the water dispenser. He snickered upon seeing Samson drink one cup after another. He thought to himself, thank God I'm not a fan of alcohol, then went back to sleep.
     
Harold was a light sleeper. The constant rumble and rain falling above the prison building irritated him. He had been in and out of sleep since the previous hour. He closed his eyes with the thought, this will be a very long night.
                                                                    ***

(West Wing)
     
If he dared to stop himself, he would have done so, but warden Protacio couldn't keep his hands off of the letters. One more, just one more, he thought to himself, before he grabbed the tenth letter.
                                                                     ***

Dear Maria,
     
How are you? I hope you're doing well. As for me, things had gotten worst, but don't worry, it's not something you should fret about. But if you want to listen, I would gladly tell you.
     
The thing is, we all thought the new prison was meant to take all of us in, but apparently, the warden will be choosing which one's will be transferred and the ones that will stay. We heard it's a maximum-security prison, equipped with everything that would prevent any means of escape.
     
The leader of my group, the blood brothers, is adamant not to be transferred to that prison. He said something along the lines of, it will make our plan to escape impossible. He believed that having everyone in the group was important. If the warden would only choose, it is clear that he will dismantle the blood brothers by sending away half of us and keeping the other. That in itself solidified the leader's theory that their escape will never come to fruition.  Do I plan to escape Maria? I would be lying if I tell you that it never crossed my mind. It has, many a time. But, every time I do, I'm reminded of why I decided to stay here. I can't be with you. You can never be with me. Do you know why? Because I don't see myself worthy anymore. I have lost the right to be with you. Besides, what I want from you is not something that you can give me. Not anymore. I'm content with my memories of you.
     
Maybe that boy was right.
     
Are you wondering what I'm talking about?
     
Well, let's see. Where should I begin?
     
The church. When I strode out of that church, everything felt surreal. The place was not something familiar to me. There were small tents scattered in front of it. There were at least a few dozen bonfires illuminating the surroundings, with people gathered around each.
     
There must have been a total of two hundred people there. At first, I was truly confused. It looked like a tribal settlement, but upon closer inspection, the people appeared like they were refugees. The pastor was kind enough to explain that yes, they were true refugees. They were what was left of the numerous people who fled for safety during the war. According to him, those people lost everything. A few of them were professionals. Some were doctors, lawyers, businessmen, and so on. Right then, I understood how they managed to save my life.
     
They were a self-sustaining group. Their main source of livelihood was farming. But the professionals would often practice their profession in nearby towns which added to their daily income.
     
According to the pastor. No one from the neighboring towns dared to disturb their peace. He went on to say I was lucky to have been found by one of them.
     
Then he said something that blew me away. He thanked me! He thanked me for killing your rapist. I asked why, but instead of an appropriate answer, he pointed to a group of people positioned, east of the church. He said I should go talk to them for they too, owed me thanks. Can you imagine my confusion?
     
I was thanked for brutally murdering a person! I thought the pastor had lost his mind. Well, that's until I went up to join the group of people he pointed at.
     
I was hesitant at first. My face was something even I couldn't stand to look at. But when they saw me approaching, they smiled and everyone stood from their spot, thanked me, and bowed their heads after hugging me.
     
A hug Maria! They gave me a hug!
     
It had been so long since I felt the warmth of another human being. My mother was the last person who hugged me. I was eight years old, It was the night before she passed away from pneumonia.
     
It felt so good Maria! I wish I could have gone and hugged people randomly before my life spiraled down.  But then again, maybe I was never meant to be hugged or feel the warmth of another. I don't know why, but it never crossed my mind to want it before that day. Maybe, because it was foreign to me?
     
Anyway, as the days went on. No one gave me a proper answer as to why I was thanked. Until a boy came up to me. The same boy who insulted me when I first awoke in that place. The cherub who all but mocked my presence.
     
He introduced himself as David. He said he was nine years old. He sat beside me one night and whispered, "You have avenged my sister."
     
I asked him how that came to be, and he answered, "it was you wasn't it, you're the guy who offed that man inside his house. The one who was left with a hundred stab wounds and the skin on his leg and arm peeled off?"
     
The way he said it, he sounded colder than I was. I questioned him about his sister, and that's when I found out, that his sister was raped and killed by the same man that took your innocence. According to David, even as a teen, that guy had done a lot of unimaginable crimes. Unfortunately, no one managed to bring him to court, because his father was the town's judge. Everyone feared him. Well, his father to be precise.
     
When David asked me my reason for killing him. I went on and explained everything about you. I never understood why, but that boy, made me feel like it was okay to speak to him about you. It felt like I needed to let him know.
     
David and I formed a bond, one which I thought was out of my league. That boy made me feel safe, but it wasn't enough to quench my longing to be with you. When I told David that I was planning to leave the settlement, he said, "What you feel for Maria can only be called limerence."
     
Forgive my stupidity Maria, but at that time, I had to ask him what limerence meant. Because I had no idea.
     
He said it's the state of being infatuated or obsessed with another person, typically experienced involuntarily and characterized by a strong desire for reciprocation of one's feelings but not primarily for a sexual relationship. He went on to say that every time I spoke about you. It was all about wanting to have you like me back. He said, never did I mention anything about the need to kiss you, hug you or make love to you. He said maybe that's why I kept doing the things I did. Because I wanted to prove myself worthy of you. To gain your approval, to obtain your attention, and your affection.
     
He said I was after your heart and nothing more.
     
Do you know what I did after he said those? I cried because it was true. I cried until my eyes burned and my cleft palate made my saliva drip disgustingly from my mouth, in front of a kid. A kid who seemed more aware of life than I was.
     
I wanted that. I wanted you to love me back Maria. I needed you to value me too. I had done everything I could, so you could love me back.
     
But amidst my tears. That boy raised a question that was as important as my need to prove me to you.
     
He asked if you knew. He asked if I have ever tried to tell you.
     
When I answered him with a no, he struck me in the head. Don't worry, it wasn't something serious. Just a slight force that gave me a wake-up call.
     
He said I should have my face fixed by a friend of his dad. He explained it would be like getting a new life, a new me. He suggested that I try to forget everything I have done, and start over. He said I should walk up to you, no matter what condition you were in. I should just say it and stay beside you.
     
That boy gave me a new sense of clarity. It felt like a fog had been lifted from my head. Perhaps Maria, all I ever needed was for someone to give me a push. For someone who would look me in the eye and say, "go for it."
     
I never had someone like David. I only had you. Thoughts of you, kept me going in life. Why was I so alone Maria? Why didn't I have anyone? Am I truly unworthy? Don't I deserve to have someone?
     
Let me end this here my love.
     
Maria? Is it Christmas? Is it? I feel cold Maria. I feel so cold.

Love Forever

Your Silent Knight