Might be a trigger warning

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"Orson!" Astra called his name when she stepped into his apartment, but he wasn't there.

He sounded upset over the phone, and he sounded like he was in tears. It scared her. He didn't tell her what was wrong or why he needed her help, he immediately hung up afterwards.

She didn't even take a shower, she went straight to his house still covered in dried paint. She didn't care.

"Orson." Astra said again, louder that time.

She walked further into his apartment, looking in every room she came across, but there was no sign of him. He wasn't anywhere.

"Orson." Astra started freaking out.

She came across a small staircase and she immediately ran up the stairs and into the first room up there. The light was on, and it looked like his bedroom, but he wasn't inside.

His bedsheets were perfectly made like he had just gotten a new bed and had never slept in it. There was a small clothes drawer across from the bed, and the closet next to it. But other than that, the room was empty.

Nobody was inside.

"Orson." She said as she turned around and walked down the upstairs hallway, towards the open door on the other side of the hall.

The light was on and she heard water running.

She started running until she ran into the bathroom, and she froze as she saw blood on the floor. There was a razor blade in the blood puddles on the floor, and her heart stopped when she saw him.

He was laying on the ground, in the blood mess, his arms and wrists pouring blood. He wasn't covered in paint like she was, and his hair was damp. He must've taken a shower before.

"Orson!" She screeched and ran to him. "What did you do?!"

She grabbed him and pulled him up from the floor, and his eyes opened.

"Star." He whispered.

"What did you do? Why did you do this?" Astra reached for a cloth hanging on the shower curtain and wrapped it around his left arm, the one bleeding the most.

"I'm sorry." Orson whispered.

"It's okay. Don't be sorry, it's okay." Astra said gently as she held him in her arms, his head laying on her chest. "I'll clean you up, you'll be okay."

She grabbed a towel on the floor and used it to wrap his other arm in, squeezing it to stop the blood, and ignored when Orson winced.

Her heart broke as she looked at all the blood on the floor. He was laying in it, and she was kneeling in it. There was so much, and it made her start crying.

Harley. She was laying in her blood. There was so much blood.

"Orson." Astra cried, trying to compose herself, as she gently scooted towards the shower, pulling him with her. "I need to clean you off, can you walk?"

His crutches weren't in the bathroom. He must've hopped inside or something.

Orson slowly nodded his head.

"Okay, I don't know how your bandages will react to the shower, but I don't think we have to worry about that right now. We can worry about that later, I'll wrap your leg back up." Astra helped Orson sit up against the wall, and then she gently squeezed his wrists.

"Keep pressure on your wrists." She said softly before she stood to her feet and walked over to the shower. She quickly turned the water on and waited for it to warm up, before she rushed back over to Orson.

His head was leaning forward onto his shoulder, eyes closed, and hands pressing the cloths against his wrists to stop the bleeding.

"I'm going to clean you off." Astra said as she knelt down beside him and shook his shoulder a little.

"I just took a shower." Orson said quietly.

"I know, but you're covered in blood." Astra grabbed the hem of his shirt. "Gently lift your arms."

Orson shook his head. "No."

"I'm trying to help you, it's okay. Just lift your arms so I can take your shirt off. Please Orson, please."

Orson didn't move for a few moments, and Astra thought he wasn't going to listen to her, but he gently lifted his arms after a minute and she slowly pulled his shirt above his head and then threw it onto the floor.

As soon as her eyes moved down to his torso, she gasped quietly and her heart dropped as she saw exactly why he didn't want her to see him without the shirt.

Scars. Long jagged scars were all on his torso, exactly like the scars on his arms. They were all faint, none of them were fresh, but it still made tears form in her eyes as she stared at them.

Oh Orson.

Astra shook her head and looked back up at his face, giving him a sad smile. "Take your pants off."

He shook his head as she stood to her feet.

"Please Orson, I know your leg is a pain right now, but please take your pants off." Astra grabbed the bottom of her shirt and stripped it off, throwing it on the floor next to his.

When she knelt down next to him again, he was staring at her chest with confusion. "What are you doing?"

"We're going to take a shower. I'm going to help clean you off, and I still haven't washed myself after our paint fight. Now take your pants off." She gently touched his cheek before she stood to her feet and grabbed the button to her pants.

As she stripped from her pants, she heard him taking his off as well. She threw her pants next to their shirts and then grabbed his and threw them in the pile of clothes too.

"Come on, the faster we wash you off, the quicker I can clean the mess in the bathroom." Astra helped Orson stand up, and as soon as he stood up, he folded his arm over his torso, trying to cover the scars.

"Orson." She said softly and grabbed his hands. "It's okay, you don't have to hide them. You don't have to hide any part of you from me."

She grabbed his hand and put it on her stomach, right where the huge scar was, showing him that he wasn't the only one with scars. He looked up at her as his fingers lightly brushed against her scar.

"Come on, let's take a shower." She said.

Astra moved the shower curtain aside to step inside the tub, the warm water immediately hitting her back and making her relax as she carefully helped Orson into the tub.

Orson could barely keep himself up, he leaned against the wall as Astra quickly got herself wet and scrubbed as much of the dry paint off of her as she could.

"Come on, your turn." Astra grabbed Orson's shoulders and gently moved him so he was under the water, and almost immediately, the bottom of the tub was a mix of both water and blood.

Astra swallowed as she saw the blood pouring down his arms and into the puddle of water they were standing in.

"Give me your arms." Astra grabbed one of the washcloths she had used earlier and got it soaked with water, washing all the blood off.

Orson slowly held his arms out for her and she grabbed them, wincing when he gasped in pain. She used the washcloth to gently wash his arms, scrubbing away all the dried blood and using it to press against his wrists, to stop the still fresh blood.

"Is it okay if I use your soap?" Astra asked him and he nodded his head, leaning it against the wall and closing his eyes.

He was weak.

Astra grabbed a bottle of shampoo and immediately the smell of lavender filled her nose as she poured some in her hand.

That's why he always smelled like lavender. He smelled like a mix of both lavender and bergamot, and when she flipped a body wash over so she can read it, she knew that was why.

Bergamot.

Astra looked up at Orson as she scrubbed the lavender soap in her hair, and a small smile formed on her lips.

Most men didn't use soaps that scented like lavender or bergamot, or even vanilla. Most men soap had a different smell than woman, and that was the first time she had known a guy who used lavender and bergamot.

Astra put her head under the warm water and washed the soap out, before she scrubbed her body with his body soap.

"Bear Cub." Astra touched his shoulder, and he slowly opened his eyes to look over at her. "I know you already took a shower, but I'm going to use soap on you again. You're covered in and smell like blood and sweat."

Orson slowly nodded his head as she put some of the lavender soap in her hands. She took a step closer to him to start gently washing his hair. His hair was soft, and it made her relax a little bit more, and it seemed to make him relax too, because he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch.

When she was done scrubbing the soap in his hair, she let her hands slowly slide down to his neck, and he opened his eyes at her movement. She gently caressed his cheeks with her thumbs as his brown eyes stared into hers.

His hair was covered in soapy bubbles, he looked so cute in that moment, and she smiled at him.

"Thank you." He whispered.

"Of course, I'm always going to be here for you okay?" Astra pulled him closer to her to kiss his forehead softly. "Can you promise me something though?"

"What?" He asked quietly.

"Next time you want to hurt yourself, can you call me first? Call me before you do so I can help you. Please promise that you'll call me."

Orson was quiet for a moment and Astra thought he wasn't going to, but after a minute she felt him nod his head slowly.

"I promise." He whispered.

"You have to keep that promise." Astra let go of his face to gently push him towards the water, and as he clutched the cloths to his bloody wrists, she gently washed the soap out of his hair.

Orson didn't say anything, he just nodded.

His eyes were closed and his head was leaning back, letting the warm water pour on his pale face.

Astra watched the water drip from his hair, down over his eyelids, and drip off his lips and onto his neck. She found herself staring at his lips longer than she wanted, and when he opened his eyes to look at her, she quickly looked away.

"Star."

Astra looked back up to meet his eyes, and as soon as his eyes met hers, like always, her words got caught in her throat, so she just took a step closer to him until she couldn't take anymore steps forward.

The tip of her nose touched his when she leaned forward an inch, and she saw him swallow and tighten the cloths around his wrists.

The water poured down on them, making her muscles relax at the warm feeling, and when Astra brought her hand up to run her fingers through his wet, soft curls, Orson's lips parted.

"Bear Cub." Astra said softly as she leaned forward another inch.

"Star." He whispered back.

Astra closed her eyes and moved her head forward, and as she felt her lips barely touch his, he pulled his head away and turned away from her, making her open her eyes.

"I can't." He said quietly, and that's when she noticed he was shaking.

The blood still hadn't stopped from his wrists, and so without a word, Astra gently grabbed his arms and held tightly onto the cloths over the cuts. Orson gasped in pain the moment she tightened her grip on his hurt wrists, but she had to tighten her grip or he would just keep losing his blood.

Astra turned the water off with one of her hands and then moved the shower curtains aside to expose them to the cold air.

"Let's dry off so I can wrap your wrists up." Was all she said as she stepped out of the shower.