•Steven's POV•

''One minute ago you were exhausted,'' I said to Mariana as she let her silk lips pass across my collar bone. Her hand was gripping the hem of my shirt, lightly touching my waistline.

We had just come from a jog around our neighborhood. My legs had a slight ache in them because I've been being lazy and skipping my gym days.

I decided to join Mariana on her Saturday run today. Five minutes ago we were both sprawled out across the bed, her jokingly complaining that my energizer smoothie that we drank before our run sucked.

I threw a pillow at her, then she had climbed on top of me and that's where we were now. She had an amazing sex drive lately. Last night she wouldn't let me sleep. And the day before that, well that was just the tip of the iceberg apparently.

I wasn't complaining, but I was curious, and honestly drained.

I'm not going to lie. It's been a lot harder to give myself to Mariana completely, to make love to her, to have sex with her even, ever since I saw that photo of Damien. It's just like as soon as I get physical with her, he takes over my every thought.

I love Mariana, but I have unfinished business with Damien. And that's making my life so much harder than I ever thought it would.

I'm starting to regret going in for that interview. Dream job or not, it's about to cost me this entire life I've built.    

But then again...

I owe this entire life to him.                                                                                                          
''Honey, honey,'' I placed my hand on her shoulder and pushed lightly. ''I'm all sweaty. We're both all sweaty. Why don't we just finish this tonight?''

She leaned up, looking at me, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

''I have other plans for us tonight.'' She said, giving me this bedroom smirk of hers. I smiled.

My hand traveled up, gripping her chin and pulling her face forward so that her lips would connect with mines. I pecked her lips gently, moving into a sitting position.

''I love you Mariana, but I'm not feeling it right now.'' I told her. I went to caress her cheek but she slapped my hand away.

Okay.

She climbed off of me getting to her feet.

''I bet if the guys called you up to go get a drink, you'd be feeling that though.'' She shot back, unexpected attitude lacing her voice as she made her way to our closet.

I got up, following her. She was undressing, tossing her running clothes into the hamper.

''I really don't see what the problem is Mariana. We just had sex last night. And I said later, not no, so what's wrong?'' I asked her.

She turned around to face me, her arms folded and just from that small gesture I knew this wasn't going to be a calm conversation.

''Nothing. I just wanted to have sex with my fiancé, Steven. I mean I know that jog was pretty long but it really doesn't require that much energy for you to have sex with me!'' She yelled. Something was definitely wrong. She turned around, pulling some clothes off the hanger and walking into the bathroom.

I sighed, running a stressed hand over my face.

''Look last night was a really long night for me at work. I'm still feeling completely drained from it, even right now. And I'm sorry that you feel that way, but I didn't mean to hurt your feelings intentionally. I think you're reading too much into it, I really don't want to put it this way, but babe, I feel like you're overreacting.'' I said, knowing that my life was basically over the minute the 'o' word slipped free from my lips.

But honestly, I felt like she was. I was really stressed yesterday from the meeting with Mr. Stark. After I left, I decided to go to work for a few hours. I didn't want to go home with Damien on my mind, so I worked my thoughts away at the office until I couldn't stand it anymore and then I went home.

As soon as I stepped foot through the door she had practically pounced on me. I wasn't feeling it last night as well, I was just genuinely not in the mood, but I wasn't in the spirit to tell her no either.

''Totally, yeah, I'm definitely overreacting. Sorry to bother you with my feelings Steven.'' She said, sarcastically of course. I sighed again, groaning on the inside.

''Look honey, I really don't want to fight with you. I'm sorry, okay? I love you. Can we just make up and have a nice day together?'' I pleaded. She turned the shower on, stripping down and climbing into it.

''Can't,'' She said, pulling the shower curtain closed, ''I'm spending the day with Suzanne.''

''Oh really?'' I asked tiredly.

''Yup,'' She answered. ''Can you close the door on your way out,'' She said.

I just shook my head, exiting the bathroom and closing the door behind me. I really didn't feel like fighting, so I wasn't about to go back and forth with her. I wanted to end the argument and it was very clear to me that she didn't.

I didn't have anything to do, and I didn't feel like staying home all day today. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a shirt out of our closet before heading to the bathroom downstairs.

I took a quick shower and put the fresh clothes on. She was gone by the time I got out of the shower. I grabbed my jacket and car keys off of the hook, locking the door as I left the house.

When I got in my car, I sat there for a few minutes. I could go spend the day with Garreth since apparently her day revolved around plans with Suzanne. But that would involve a possible run-in with her and I know she'll cause a scene.

As lovely a person as Mariana is, she has her faults.

Everyone does.

Once I turned my cars engine on, letting it heat up for a minute, I decided to drive in the direction of Harrison's house. He's never busy.

Being a trust-fund baby billionaire, you really have nothing to do with your days but sleep. Yet when night rolls around, you're a local to all the bars and clubs within a ten mile radius.

I'm not judging him. I would never judge any of my friends. People are who they are. We all have different paths to walk. A laughter filled sigh left my lips, my car coming to a halt at a red light. The thought that violated my brain, jumped to the front of my mind.

Why was my path leading me back to Damien?

The light flickered to green, I let my feet tap the gas pedal. My hand wavered above my dashboard before I decided against calling Harrison to notify him of my arrival.

I parked my car on the curb next to his condo. Grabbing the spare key to his house from my glove-compartment box I got out of my car, clicking the lock button on my keys.

I made my way to his front door, unlocking it and stepping in to enter the security code into the alarm pad. I took my jacket off, placing it on a hook near the door.

My feet moved me in the direction of the heavily stocked bar, in his built in man-cave.

I came here to get drunk.

Turning a sharp corner I nearly bumped into the owner of the house himself.

''Where are you headed?'' I asked out of curiosity. He was dressed in a gray suit, a blue dress shirt beneath that with suave black dress shoes.

''To fuck your fiancé,'' The smirk glided across his face easily. I rolled my eyes. The steady grabs at my fiancé was something I've grown used to.

Harrison has always had a thing for Mariana. When we first met of course it was a problem. He had hit on her right in front me, not knowing she was my girlfriend.

But later in our friendship he did something that showed me his true colors as a person. Something that told me he's a good friend that I need to keep around. Mariana and I had got into a huge fight and basically broken up when we were in college.

She had gone to a frat party and gotten wasted. That's a problem we share; drowning our feelings in alcohol. She's kicked the habit, but apparently I'm about to fall right back into it.

Anyway she was drunk off her ass and one of the members of the frat was trying to take advantage of her in her drunken state. I thank god that Harrison was there to deck the asshole in the face. I know I owe him a lot for that.

He saved Mariana from getting raped that night. He brought her to my apartment.

Harrison has settled himself down a lot since college, and even though he's still a playboy he was much more of a Casanova then, which is why it really surprised me that he had brought her to me and not attempted to make a move on her himself.

Ever since then he has gained and kept my respect. He's a good guy.  You don't have to dig too far to see the gold in his heart.

I've made him my best man for the wedding.

A laugh leaped from my lips at his choice of response. I was here because I didn't feel like doing exactly that.

''You mind if I borrow your bar while you attempt something that will never happen?'' I asked him. He had a messy head of dark brown curls that he never did anything to on the top of his head. So every time he moved, his curls bounced along with him.

He tilted his head to the side slightly, analyzing me.

I didn't drink more than a shot or two unless something was bothering me. My friends knew this about me by now, so I know he was looking for the exact look that was in my eyes right now, which told him that something was in-fact wrong.

His normally happy brown eyes clouded suddenly with a wave of worry.

''Sure, mi casa es tu casa,'' He brought his wrist up, glancing at the very expensive silver watch that laced it. ''Look, drinking alone is no fun, invite the guys over. I'll be back in a few hours to join the party.'' He reached his arm out, giving my shoulder a light slap before heading for the door.

He was right about one thing though. Drinking alone is no fun. Even though I knew he only wanted me to invite the guys over so they could ensure that I didn't drink my kidneys away, I could use the company.

I took my phone from my pocket, and began to move my feet in the direction of the man-cave. I shot a text to everyone, including Garreth. If he was free it would be nice to see his annoying ass too.

I made it to the man-cave, grabbing myself a beer to start off with and heading over to the pool table.

I played a few rounds by myself. About three beers and thirty minutes later, Andrew was the first to arrive.

I have to admit that lately the tension with Andrew at work has been growing. He's very good at his job, if he wasn't, I wouldn't have agreed to go into this partnership with him. Yet, at the same time we have such different views on the cases.

I can make the most innocent person seem guilty to people. I can also make Satin look like a saint to a jury. The only problem is I have morals. I don't want to help the wrong person go free, and I don't want to put the innocent in prison.

I choose cases based on who I'm helping. Whereas Andrew chooses cases blindly only by the amount of profit we could potentially gain from it. To him it is just a job, and money is the main goal. He can sleep at night because the cases and the victims are of no relevance to him.

But I'm different. The people in these cases affect me. I want what's right for the world. And although I do believe by right of the constitution, every person deserves a lawyer to protect their rights, I don't believe I'm the lawyer for anyone but the victims.

Andrew knows this about me, but he also knows of my extraordinary skill at this job which is why he looked past that and jumped at the chance to partner with me.

Yet, sometimes he still tries to push cases on me that he knows I'll never take. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever did.

Despite all of that though, Andrew and I always maintain a great friendship outside of work. We could have a fight in the office and hang out the same night with no hard feelings. Work is work, and it stays at work.

''Ready to get your ass kicked?'' He asked, grabbing a pool stick from the rack. I laughed, getting my fourth beer from the fridge and tossing him his first.

''I could hand you my ass on a silver platter and you still wouldn't be able to kick it. You fucking suck at pool.'' I countered. He laughed, popping the cap off of his beer.

We played two rounds and after I kicked his ass twice, Garreth and Kenneth showed up.

They didn't want to join us at pool so we had switched over to watching the game on the flat screen TV. By the time Harrison  made it back I wasn't sure how many beers I had, but with the ease the alcohol had put on my brain, I really didn't care.

I left to go to the bathroom. Drinking puts a strain on anyone’s bladder. I was a few steps away from entering the room when I heard Harrison using his serious voice, something you rarely hear since he's such a playful person.

''What do you mean you don't know how many he's had? I asked you guys to fucking watch him, not to come help him murder his kidneys one bottle at a time. You guys are fucking useless, honestly can't you tell he's going through something?'' Harrison yelled at them.

I stepped into the room, quickly gaining everyone’s undivided attention. Harrison was standing in front Andrew, Kenneth and Garreth angrily holding my empty beer bottle.

''He's also a grown man who can decide for himself when he's had one too many. And thank you very much Harrison but I'm far from my limit.'' I made my way over to the bar, taking a seat on the nearest stool.

''That may be true but I intend to not let you get anywhere near that limit. You know you can talk to us instead of drinking yourself to death. We're here for you man.'' Harrison said. He made his way over to the bar, taking a seat next to me.

The guys piled around us, each grabbing them a bar stool. I rolled my eyes. I did not come here for an intervention.

Yet, letting it out is much better than keeping it in. I know how it feels to hold things in and suppress what you feel. To keep things hidden, with a perfect smile on your face.

God, seven years is a long time.

Why is it all happening now? Why now?

''Steven? Did you hear a word I just said?" Harrison asked me. He put his hand on my shoulder, looking at me as if I was going crazy.

''Can you make me a drink?'' I asked him seriously. I have too much on my mind.

And even though I'm about to talk to them about the Mariana situation I still have no one, absolutely no one, to talk to about the Damien situation.

So it's not like any real stress is about to be relieved from me right now.

Harrison gave me a cold look.

''Just a shot,'' I bargained. I placed my elbows on the contour-top of the bar and ran my hands over my face. A sigh left my lips. ''I'm going to need some serious alcohol in my veins just to attempt to try and make sense of what I did wrong this morning.''

One cold stare later, he was behind the bar catering us all with shots of Hennessey. I went through what happened this morning.

There was no worry of me turning the situation into my favor because my tongue is slippery when alcohol gets involved, and they know that.

They got every detail, and when I was done they were all left staring at me with the same 'what the fuck?' expression.

Garreth was the first to respond, and he did this by laughing loudly, his Hennessey stained breath floating in the air.

When he could finally find it in himself to control his laughter he gave me a real response.

''So I don't understand, why didn't you just fuck her into the bed sheets? Leave her not being able to handle anymore for at least a week.'' He asked. Their was a smirk on his face, but other than that he seemed honestly serious about this question.

I shrugged.

''I legitimately did not feel like having sex. She has her days when she's just not up for it, and I don't push her. Is it seriously such a big deal for me to not want to?'' I asked them. It was supposed to be a rhetorical question.

Harrison picked up my phone from the counter-top of the bar and clicked it to life. He turned it to face me and I stared at my lock screen.

It displayed one of many sultry pictures Mariana gifted me for our anniversary.

''It's a big deal when your fiancé is this sexy.'' He challenged, wearing the same smirk as Garreth. He turned the phone back to his view, ogling the photo.

I snatched my phone from his hand, giving him a warning looking.

''Weird ass Asian women fetish,'' I grumbled at Harrison, sneaking the rest of Kenneth’s drink down my throat.

Kenneth doesn't speak very much. But he has his reasons. And right now he's my favorite, considering he's being the least idiotic of the moment.

''You're just mad that I can pull more of your bitches than you can.'' Harrison joked, proudly high fiving with Garreth.

I raised a tired brow at them.

''Somehow I find that slightly racist,'' I responded.

''Aye, Kenneth speaks for the Asians you lost the bet last year, remember?'' Andrew said, his face pained with laughter than he was holding back.

Yeah, I remembered that stupid ass bet. We were on a fishing trip last fall. When we docked, we ordered take-out for diner -Chinese takeout- so I don't even know how they got into my subject of race.

But of course we were all a bit beyond tipsy and they egged me and Kenneth on to see who could name the most exotic 'Asian' cuisines.

I lost.

Even though half the shit that Kenneth named weren't even dishes custom to Asia. Hell, he's not even Asian!

''Kenneth isn't even Asian, he's Taiwanese.'' I clarified for about the tenth time in this month alone to them.

''Isn't that just like a lower category of Asian?'' Garreth asked. And although that question was so wrong and rude, a snicker slipped free from my lips.

''You see now that's racist, asshole.'' Kenneth responded, punching Garreth.

''Careful where you land your blows. Leave a mark and I'm going to get bitched at for 'cheating','' Garreth made air quotes around the word, making a frustrated face. ''I swear to god that woman is crazy. Any mark on my body is supposedly from my secret lover.''

Andrew, Harrison, Kenneth, and I laughed, earning ourselves a glare from Garreth.

''Well are you cheating?'' I asked him seriously. Garreth isn't the most faithful man, but he isn't a bad man.

''Not recently.'' He answered, sliding his glass towards Harrison. Harrison laughed.

''Yeah, you're a dead man walking. You're going to need this.'' Harrison proceeded to fill up Garreth’s little glass cup with another shot.

''Whoa, that's so not cool,'' I said, referring to Garreth getting another shot. ''My woman problems are much crazier than his. No one here can honestly say they've been put in the dog house for not wanting around the clock sex. So pour me up another shot, please.'' I slid my glass cup in his direction.

He muttered something under his breath, but filled the glass up nonetheless. I heard Kenneth laugh.

''What?'' I asked, the glass reaching my hands again. It was luke-warm but I knew it would burn my throat as if it was scolding hot on its way down.

''Maybe she's trying to pre-cuff you before the wedding with a pregnancy. That way there'll be no cold feet or running away at the alter.'' Kenneth replied, laughing lightly.

''That's not even remotely funny.'' I spoke, feeling my stomach turn with unease as all of the guys joined in laughter.

Suddenly my taste for liquor died. I slid the glass back to Harrison, a bit of it spilled on the counter-top.

''Kenneth just killed my mood.'' I said, running a stressed hand through my hair. I know he was only joking.

But his joke made a hell of a lot of sense.

''I was only kidding, Steven.'' He said. Everyone began to notice how serious I took it.

''Who wants to drive me home?'' I asked, feeling the multiple beers I had earlier and the brown alcohol finally starting to haunt me.

''Let's go.'' Harrison said. ''Don't fuck up my house again, guys. It cost me five thousand dollars to replace that couch you set fire to you assholes.'' He yelled to them before we left the room.

''It was an accident!'' I heard Andrew yell back, by then we were practically out the door.

''Here,'' I said, handing him my car keys. I climbed into the passengers seat. He got in, starting up the car and heading in the direction of my house.

I closed my eyes, laying my head back on the head rest as I let a sigh leave my lips. I felt my self dozing off.

''My sister's right across the hall.'' I warned Damien. He had already stripped me of my shirt and now his lips were venturing down my body.

It felt so good, and I really didn't want him to stop, but I was always so cautious about us being intimate at my house.

My parents have this 'no locking doors rule', and although they weren't home right now, I knew if my nosey sister twisted my door knob and it was locked, she'd most definitely snitch on me.

''Threesome?'' I heard Damien mumble against my skin. My back was pressed against my bed and he was hovering over me, pressing his soft lips to my heated skin.

I gripped his brown hair in my hands and pulled his head up so he'd be face-to-face with me.

''What did you just say?'' I asked him. He smirked, attempting to lean in and kiss me. I dodged his kiss, rolling from beneath him and to the other side of the bed. ''That is such a turn-off.'' I said, laughing.

I went to reach for my shirt which rested on my pillow but before my arm could even stretch the distance I was being tackled off of the bed and onto the floor.

My head missed my dresser, barely. The fall didn't hurt to much, I'm used to him doing stupid stuff like that. I glared at Damien who was now straddling me.

''You nearly killed me.'' I told him. He smiled down at me.

''You were trying to escape my sexual conquest, what was I supposed to do?'' He asked innocently.

He gave me this cute face of his that he knows I have a soft spot for. I reached up and gripped the back of his neck, bringing him down so that my lips could connect with his.

Somehow he managed to get his shirt off, only breaking our kiss briefly. His hands were roaming my body.

''I'm not having sex with you.'' I informed him as his hand seeped into the front of my shorts. He laughed.

''Oh, trust me, I know,'' He teased. His lips fell against my skin again. He began to caress my neck with his lips as his hand caressed my growing erection.

I let one hand card through his silky hair. It was so soft that you'd swear he takes care of it but he doesn't. My other hand found its occupation clawing at his back.

''Do you want me to suck you off?'' He asked once he had gotten me completely hard. I rolled my eyes at him.

What the hell else would I want?

But fuck...I groaned.

''My door isn't locked.'' I said, a sigh of frustration leaving my lips.

He grew this devious smirk on his face. He shrugged his shoulders.

''Oh well, I gues--''

My hand reached up and wrapped around his throat gently, pulling him closer to me.

''So help me god, if you leave me with blue balls one more time Damien I'm going to fucking murder you,'' I warned him.

''You're so sexy when you curse,'' He let his tongue spring out of his mouth and graze over my lips. ''Are you sure I can't pop that cherry right now?'' He begged.

I laughed shaking my head. I pushed him off of me, getting up and heading towards my bathroom. I turned around when I realized he wasn't following me.

''Are you coming?" I asked him. He smirked.

''I will be as soon as your pretty little pinks lips are wrapped around me.'' He told me, getting up and heading towards me.

I felt someone’s hand on me, shaking me back into reality. A reality that no longer involved Damien. I sighed.

''We're here.'' Harrison's voice flooded my ears. ''Thank god you didn't drive, you probably would've passed out behind the wheel.''

''I'm not stupid.'' I said, we both climbed out of the car. He smiled.

''I know, you're just not sober.'' He taunted.

''Yeah, yeah,'' I took my house key from my pocket. ''Are you catching a cab home? You should've gotten one of them to tail us.''

''No, I'm sleeping here tonight.'' He said. I laughed,  unlocking my door and letting us into the apartment.

''Why? So you can jerk off to the thought of Mariana only being a couple of feet away from you?'' I joked. I expected him to join in on the laughter, seeing as though that joke was perfectly catered to him. But when I glanced at him he had a straight face.

''So I can stop you two from fighting.'' He responding, hanging his jacket on the hook, I tossed him my jacket to hang up too. He tossed my car keys on the table near the door.

''Fighting about what?'' I turned to look in the direction of the living room and there stood Mariana. I glanced at Harrison to see him looking at me.

''I think you may have just started it.'' I replied to him. ''Hi, honey.'' I said, walking over to her. I hugged her and then leant in to give her a kiss but she gripped my chin in her hands, halting my actions.

''You reek of alcohol.'' She complained, making a distasteful face.

''Mariana I've reeked of puke and you've kissed me. Alcohol is quite an upgrade from that.'' I clarified.

She pulled her lips together in her, 'I'm trying not to say anything mean.', pout. I sighed.

I knew the next words that left my mouth were going to be alcohol influenced but my brain was too tired to care.

I decline her attempt at sex and I'm the bad guy.

I try to show her affection by kissing her, although alcohol may not be the best aftertaste in the world, and I'm the bad guy.

For better or worse isn't looking so beautiful right now.

Harrison greeted Mariana then headed in the direction of the guest room.

''Let's talk about something,'' I said to her. I walked into the kitchen with her following behind. She leaned against the counter as I opened the fridge to grab a cold bottle of water.

I opened the bottle drinking a large portion of it before topping it and letting it rest next to the sink. I look over at her.

''You're still on birth control, right?'' I asked her seriously.

I may not be the most sober person in the world right now but Kenneth’s joke has been on my mind since he said it. Mariana wants kids, she wants a big family.

She comes from a big family, so it's understandable, but we've had countless conversations about how kids are not what I want in my life right now. They're actually the last thing that I want.

I have to work through my own shit before I can bring someone into this world and guide them through life.

But we never use protection when we have sex because she's been on birth control ever since we first got together.

Deep down I'm hopping she wouldn't do something as selfish as try to get pregnant without telling me. That's being completely inconsiderate of me as a partner and as a person.

''Why're we talking about this so suddenly?'' She asked, crossing her arms. I shook my head.

''That's not an answer, Mariana.'' I told her. For about three minutes there was silence between us. Just as I released a sigh from my lips, she spoke.

''I've been weaning off of it for a while now so the doctor could check my fertility.'' She answered quietly.

''How long is a while?'' I asked next. I was currently making a promise to myself to stay calm and not get so angry.

We'll see if I keep that promise.

''A month.'' She nearly whispered, in the silent kitchen.

Yeah, fuck that promise.

''A month, Mariana? Do you know how many times we've had sex in the last month? At some point, preferably before you did it, you didn't think it important to tell me about this?'' I demanded.

She stayed silent, her eyes shadowing the floor.

''Holy, fuck,'' I cursed, running an angry hand through my hair and over my face. My mind was racing. And this penetrating headache was seeping through.

''Are you going to answer me, Mariana?'' I asked her. She looked up at me. Her big brown eyes were brimming with tears.

''What do you want me to say?'' She asked in a low voice. I sighed, shaking my head again. I just didn't understand.

''Why?'' I asked her. She sobbed quietly.

''You know I've always wanted kids, Steven.''

''But this isn't just about what you want Mariana! This is something that has to do with the both of us! It affects me too! And I've told you I'm not ready, for you to do something as selfish as go behind my back and try to get pregnant is not only hurtful but completely...I just...I can't be okay with this Mariana.'' I covered my face with my hands for a minute.

My eyes were burning, but I was pushing the tears back.

''Stevie...'' She reached forward, attempting to grab my arm but I stepped away from her. This woman was suppose to love me.

When you love someone you care about their opinion on things just as much as you care about yours. But clearly she's been spending too much time with my mother because to do something as inconsiderate as she did is only caring about her wants and not respecting mines at all.

''Are you pregnant right now?'' I asked the question that burned my tongue.

''I-I don't- I mean even if I was, it'd be too soon to tell. Steven I'm so sorr--''

''I can't sleep here tonight. I won't sleep at all tonight, but I'm going to Harrison's house.'' I told her, her sobs got louder, but I just couldn't bring myself to comfort her.

I'm too drunk to drive but not drunk enough to deal with all of this shit.

As soon as I turned the corner Harrison was standing by the door with our jackets and my car keys in his hand.

''Get me out of here,'' I told him, leading the way out of the door.

∆A/N∆

Lmao Damien's life is so much easier than Stevens at the moment...well not really, but at least he isn't worrying about a deceitful fiance.

How do you all feel about Mariana now that you know what she's been doing?

Alot of the pictures I had for this chapter refused to load, which is such a bummer. So I'll upload them sometime later.

Please comment and tell me what you think of this story!

Please vote!

Posted: July 10, 2017.