•Damien's POV•

''Hey,'' I say as I open my front door, greeting Otto with a smile. ''You're looking good,'' I compliment, leaning forward to plant a kiss on his lips before stepping aside and letting him walk in.

''Always,'' He replies. He grabs my face in his hands when I turn around, pulling me closer and diving into my mouth. He lets his tongue take control, exploring as though he'd never done it before, eager, excited, and aggressive.

I grip his hips with my hands, pulling us closing so that our chests are touching. I separate our lips, taking a breath of air before smirking.

''Is this your way of telling me you missed me?'' I ask.

He rolls his eyes, smiling nonchalantly despite the blush creeping onto his cheeks.

''I missed having sex with you,'' He says.

I shrug.

''That's close enough,'' I reply laughing. I lean in and kiss him one more time. ''How was New York?'' I ask as I take his hand, leading him into the kitchen.

''Chaotic per usual. Pretty sure I only got ten hours of sleep throughout the three days I was there. The guy in charge of getting everyone there and making sure everything was running on schedule sucked. And I'm not even being mean, he just literally sucked. All three days the shoots were delayed either because a crew member was late or a model was M.I.A. so that was fun,'' He says sarcastically.

I guide him over to a stool near the counter and push him down until he's sitting in it. I stand behind him, letting my hands rub over his back as I begin to massage him.

A sexy groan leaves his lips, and he lets his head hang down as he relaxes his shoulders more.

''You have no idea how good that feels baby,'' He breathes out. ''Can we go upstairs?'' He asks, turning around to face me and wrapping his arms around my waist to pull us together. He stairs up at me with those endless ocean abyss eyes of his.

''Yeah, but let's talk first,'' I say, earning a concerned look from him.

''Everything okay?'' He asks. ''Is everything with us okay?'' He follows up quickly.

I sigh because honestly the answer to that question is in his hands.

I never for a moment contemplated not telling him about Steven kissing me but in this very moment my nerves have me on the edge of backing out.

But I know I have to do the right thing.

It's wrong to cheat or lie and I really don't tolerate bullshit like that in a relationship so I can't be a hypocrite and treat someone in such a disrespectful way that I wouldn't even allow myself to be treated in.

''While you were gone Steven came over to make amends with me. We talked and cleared the air about everything that happened the day before,'' I pause for a moment, seeing the intense look of worry in the sea of Otto's eyes as he hangs onto my every word preparing himself for probably the worst case scenario. ''And he kissed me.'' I reveal to him finally.

A soft huff leaves his lips and he turns his face away from me, shaking his head.

''Hey,'' I say, trying to get him to bring his gaze back to me but he pushes my hand away when I reach to grab his chin. ''Hey, I didn't kiss him back, I didn't want to. I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize what you and I have.''

''Did you push him off of you?'' He inquires, turning to look at me now, his blue eyes harsh and watery.

I shake my head. Sighing, I bring my hand up to rub my forehead. ''I didn't do much of anything to be honest.'' I admit. ''But that's not because I wanted to be kissing him. I was more so in shock that he kissed me.''

Otto doesn't reply.

I grab his hand, squeezing gently as he looks away, shutting his eyes. Tears cascade from them, flowing down his cheeks.

I can't tell if he believes me or not.

But I am being completely honest about everything right now.

I didn't kiss Steven back and I didn't pull back from the kiss because I was surprised that he was kissing me in the first place.

A part of me did want to kiss him back but clearly not a large enough part to act on it so that doesn't matter.

''You didn't go into severe detail the night you told me a bit about your history with him but basically, he's the one that got away right? The one you're still in love with?'' Otto asks with a tone of certainty.

''I didn't say—''

''I know you didn't say it but it's more than fucking obvious Damien. You practically died when he passed out at the gym in New York. I remember the look in your eyes when he finally woke up. So really, you don't have to lie about it. You're still in love with him.'' He states.

''We don't bullshit each other right? That's one of the things we agreed on coming into this?'' He questions.

I nod my head.

''Yeah, yeah and that's why we're having this conversation,'' I agree.

''So what do you want?'' He asks. ''Who do you want?'' He clarifies his question.

I arch a brow at him.

Is it not obvious?

''You. Obviously you, that's why we're right here talking about this.'' I tell him.

Otto shakes his head, pushing me back with his hand before pulling it out of my grip.

''You can't have your cake and eat it too, Damien.'' He says seriously.

''What the hell is that supposed to mean?'' I ask.

''Well being friends with Steven is fine, but being friends with Steven and being in a relationship with me, which I'm sure he was very aware of, and having him throat dive in your mouth whenever he wants isn't fine.'' He states firmly.

''Okay and he won't do it again,''

Otto laughs.

''Yeah, forgive me for thinking that's a load of bullshit. He's going to do it whenever he wants, whenever you allow him to. Because he can and because he knows you won't stop him. You're in love with him and I bet in your eyes he didn't even do anything wrong.''

''Seriously I get that you're mad, but now you're just reaching. Clearly, I'm not okay with what he did.'' I say.

Why would I even be telling him this right now if I was cool with Steven kissing me anytime he wants?

He sounds ridiculous.

''But you're so sure he's not going to do it again; bet you were pretty sure he wouldn't have done it the first time either.'' Otto says.

I step forward and Otto rolls his eyes as I take his hand in mines again, but he doesn't pull it away this time which is a good sign.

I know Otto doesn't like drama or anything like that. He doesn't like stress, which is exactly why him and I don't fight or argue a lot, or at all even.

And I do feel bad about this.

I feel bad that he feels hurt now. And I feel bad that I'm bringing this conflict into our relationship.

''He doesn't respect me, obviously,'' Otto says after a while. ''And I didn't have a problem with you two being friends before, but he's made it pretty clear that I can't trust him now.''

''What are you saying?'' I ask, hoping he wasn't attempting to ask me the impossible.

Because cutting Steven out of my life is something that I do on my terms and my terms only.

''He wants to be with you, and you're still in love with him, yet you wanna be with me for some reason. What do you think I'm saying?'' He says tediously.

''I think you're attempting to give me an ultimatum. And I hope I'm wrong.'' I reply to him.

''What ultimatum? Ultimatums are for children, we're adults. This is a choice Damien,'' Otto says seriously. He grabs my other hand and holds it in his. ''I'm asking you to make a choice. Not between me or him but simply between what you want in your life right now. Do you want everything you had with him? I know you two have a lot of history. Or do you want what we have right now?

''I know that what we have is new but we're having fun and we're enjoying each other's company in every way possible. We're happy. I'm not giving you an ultimatum. I'm making you aware that you have to make a choice. You can choose to go try to be happy with Steven right now. Or you can realize that you're already happy with me and let that be enough for you right now.''

''Okay,'' I say nodding my head as I collect my thoughts. ''Okay, I'll make sure there's some distance between him and I from now on. I know you'd prefer it if I just cut him off but he's gotta have a place in my life, and I want this to work between you and I so you're going to have to work with me on this.'' I state. ''Please, Otto,'' I plead when neglects to respond to me.

There's a reluctant look in his eyes but he nods his head nevertheless, leaning up to pull me in for a kiss.

''I don't like the drama Damien, so this is it. I'm going to put my trust in you on this because I sure as hell don't trust him to not try anything but...but whatever happens is on you. And I don't plan on sticking around to deal with it.'' He declares.

''Fair enough,'' I say, leaning down and kissing him again. ''Thank you for talking with me and not turning this into some big argument that would've just ended nasty.''

''Of course,'' He replies. ''I told you, I don't keep negative energy in my life, so that's never going to be something that I can put in yours.'' He assures.

I smile.

''You wanna go to the bedroom now?'' I offer, stealing another kiss from him before he stands up.

I'm a little surprised when he shakes his head in response.

''I'm actually not feeling well. Probably the lack of sleep in New York and the bumpy plane ride back. I'm going to go back to my place and sleep for a bit.'' He says.

''You can just rest in my bed if you want, I'll make you something to eat and run you some bath water so you can relax,'' I suggest.

''Thanks, but I just want to be in my own bed for a little bit.'' Otto replies.

''Are you sure?'' I ask, feeling a bit worried that he just wants his space. And it's fine if that's the case but I feel as though this conversation ended on a really good note.

He nods in response. I follow behind him as he walks back to the front door.

''Call me if you need anything, I'm not doing anything today.'' I tell him.

''Okay,'' He turns around, embracing me in a hug. ''I'll talk to you later.''

•••••••

I tuck my car keys into my pocket, taking my time as I walk over to the door of the hotel room.

I check the message in my phone to make sure that I'm at the right room before proceeding to knock. I wait a minute or two and then knock again when there's no answer.

A moment later the door swings open and Harrison stands on the other side of it, grinning at me.

''We're running into each other way too much man,'' I say, not waiting for an invitation as I step past him and into the hotel room.

''Agreed, almost seems like you're stalking me. Should I be worried?'' He jokes, shutting the room door behind me.

I look around, taking in the very decorated hotel suite.

''How much does this cost a night?'' I wonder aloud.

''Too damn much for some people if you're asking me,'' Harrison replies. He shrugs. ''But I'm not paying for it so,''

''Yeah but you're letting said people pay for it,'' I retort.

''Grown-ups are allowed to spend their money however they like, Damien. Who am I to tell my best friend not to waste his money chasing down his wishy-washy ex-boyfriend?'' Harrison replies sharply.

I roll my eyes.

I'm not even about to go back and forth with him today.

''Where's Steven?'' I ask.

''He's on the phone right now,'' Harrison replies before walking off and disappearing down a hall of the suite.

''I'll find him myself then,'' I mutter, walking through the suite. I find his room eventually, peeking my head in the door and noticing that he is actually on the phone.

I lean against the doorframe.

''Okay, I get it. We need to get a lot still. I can be there in a few days and we can do it then. Does Wednesday work for you?'' He asks whoever he's on the phone with. ''That works. Figure out where you wanna go and text me the address and what time you wanna meet up...Yeah...see you soon, be safe.'' He sighs, ending the call.

He tosses his phone across the bed, closing his eyes as his chest rises and falls steadily.

The bothersome look on his face lets me know that he clearly has a lot on his mind.

And I'm about to give him even more to think about.

I tap at the door. He opens his eyes quickly, looking over to me. I smile, despite the tenseness I feel walking into this conversation.

His brown eyes are gleaming as he sits up. Full of excitement and happiness.

''I wasn't eavesdropping,'' I clear up immediately. ''I just didn't wanna interrupt your conversation.''

He nods, not really looking to bothered by the possibility of it anyway.

''So, what brings you here?'' He asks, a curious brow of his arched at me.

I clear my throat before speaking. ''We need to talk,'' I reply to him.

''Those words are never good to hear,'' He says, scooting over and gesturing towards the space next to him on the bed. ''Unless of course you're here to talk about good news.''

I wish. I think to myself.

This is most definitely about to be a heated conversation.

I walk over to the bed, taking a seat next to him and releasing a sigh from my lips.

''I told Otto about what happened,'' I inform him.

He looks at me with this puzzled expression.

But what the hell is there to be confused about?

Did he want me to not tell my boyfriend he kissed me?

He should've known I wasn't going to keep it a secret if that's what he's surprised about.

''And how'd it go?'' He asks, not very much concern in his voice at all. Not that I expected to hear any.

''He was pissed, obviously,'' I say seriously, ''But more at you than me. Of course, I should've stopped you from kissing me, but Steven you really shouldn't have kissed me in the first place. I told you that I was in a relationship, and I told you that I was happy.''

''Wait, wait,'' He says, interrupting me and holding his hand up before I can say anything else.

And the heated part of the conversations begins...

''I'm not going to apologize to your boyfriend if that's where this conversation is headed. I'm not sorry that I kissed you. The only thing—''

''Well then how about you apologize to me then? For putting me in suck a fucked-up position.'' I demand.

He's so fucking selfish I swear.

And I would never ask him to apologize to Otto for the simple fact that I know he'd never do it. He's too fucking prideful to admit fault.

And lately I feel like he just doesn't give a fuck about what he fucks up in my life on this little pursuit he's on.

''Like I was saying, the only thing I'm sorry for is that it took me so fucking long to accept that I still want to be with you. That's all I'm sorry about.'' He tells me.

I sneer, shaking my head.

''You've got some nerve,'' I say, a strained laugh leaving my lips. ''I'm still in a relationship by the way, because I know that question is burning a whole in your self-centered mind right now.''

He scoffs, as though my insult holds no weight.

But he and I both know that was the only thing on his mind.

''If anything my mind is Damien centered, but nice try.'' He remarks. ''Not that my intent was to break you two up or anything,'' He says, his voice just shy of sincerity, ''But why'd he get so worked up about it if he didn't plan on breaking up with you?'' He asks.

I look at him utterly fucking confused as to why the hell he'd ask me such a dumb ass question.

Why wouldn't my boyfriend be pissed off about someone kissing me?

In what world would anyone's boyfriend be okay with that?

''Are you fucking kidding me?'' I ask him seriously. ''I'm not about to entertain you. You're way too smart to be asking these stupid ass questions.'' I say, getting up from the bed.

''He doesn't want me to talk to you anymore.'' I state, folding my arms across my chest as I put a few feet between him and I.

''So, you're here because your nineteen-year-old boyfriend gave you an ultimatum?'' He asks me, the edge clear in his voice.

''Okay first of all he's twenty, and that's not even that far from our age so—''

''Yet it's closer to your little brothers age than it is to yours,'' He remarks with a shrug. ''Anyway though, let's focus on this ultimatum that he gave you.''

''It wasn't an ultimatum.'' I clarify for the second time.

I knew I wouldn't be able to have a calm conversation with him. It's always some petty bullshit lately.

''Oh really? Were his words not 'Cut Steven out of your life or we're over.'?'' He demands.

I sigh, getting frustrated with him. ''Are you finished? Because if you're finished, I'll say what I came here to say.'' I ask.

''Sure,'' He responds, looking at me impatiently.

I refrain from rolling my eyes and instead just proceed to speak.

''I just wanted to make you aware of how he feels about you now. And like I was saying, he doesn't want me to talk to you anymore because he doesn't know you well enough to trust you, yet you've given him plenty of reason not to. So, I told him I'd put some distance between you and I but I'm not going to just cut you out of my life Steven.

''Because I do know you, and I trust you. I know this thing that I have with Otto isn't permanent. I know he's probably just a rebound from you rejecting me so damn hard but I am happy with him. And all I want from you is to be happy for me right now. I just want you to respect my relationship and respect what I tell you I want.

''When it's time for you and me, and trust me we will have our time, I want it to be something that we can both freely dive into. I don't want it to start from you trying to push someone out of my life so that you can take their place, as if you don't already have a place in my life...in my heart even.

I love you Steven, okay? And when we get together, we're gonna build the future we've always wanted to and then some. But I just want to have fun right now. And that's what I have with Otto. That's why I'm staying with him. And I'm trusting you to respect that.'' I state.

He doesn't reply, and after a while he starts to look upset.

''You get where I'm coming from, right?'' I ask him, interrupting the silence that has fallen between us.

''No, not really. But I'm guessing that the role I get to play isn't exactly negotiable...or optional for that matter.'' He says to me.

''Not unless you're willing to write me out of your life completely, which I know you won't do. You're just gonna have to deal with it, deal with me.'' I reply.

''And you can't kiss me like that anymore,'' I say seriously.

I think it's more than obvious that I need boundaries with Steven now. I have little faith that he'll stop kissing me even though I'm asking him too. I just hope he takes a step back and realizes that I never did any disrespectful shit like this when he had a fiancé.

''Then how can I kiss you?" He asks in response. His flirtatious tone is accompanied by a very serious look in his eyes. ''I'm joking,'' He adds quickly.

But I doubt he's joking though.

''I'm not playing with you, if he finds out that we were even in kissing proximity he'll end it, and that's not what I want. So just—for me, just be cool. Okay?'' I plead.

He shrugs. ''I mean what he finds out is completely up to you.'' He replies in a suggestive tone.

I look at him seriously despite the fact I find his words a little funny.

They won't be funny when I'm single though so I'm not about to play with him.

''I'm sorry, there's no off switch to my sense of humor.'' He claims.

I rolls my eyes. ''When your sense of humor is present.'' I tease.

''So since you're here, I'm guessing you don't have anything to do toda—''

My phone begins to ring in my pocket, and I raise my finger, halting Stevens words for a moment as I pull my phone from my pocket and check to see who's calling.

Otto's name flashes across the screen.

I hesitate for a moment, debating whether or not to answer. Within a matter of seconds though I figure it's probably best not to stress him out any more than I already have today.

''I have to answer this, sorry,'' I say to Steven before turning around and holding the phone to my ear.

''Hey baby, what's going on?'' I speak into the phone.

''I'm currently wishing I would've taken you up on that offer to sleep in your bed so that you could be taking care of me right now. I feel so much worse. I literally barely have the strength to go get myself a glass of water right now and I feel so fucking dehydrated. Where are you right now?'' He asks.

''Where?'' I repeat his question, sounding like a suspicious ass idiot. ''Um...Why did you wanna meet up somewhere?'' I ask him instead of answering his question.

I'd rather not lie to him about where I am but considering only a few hours ago I promised him I'd distanced myself from Steven, I'd rather not openly tell him I'm in his hotel room.

''I doubt I could make it to my car to get anywhere. I was just wondering if you're still at home can you please come to my house, I feel bad for asking because I can be a dick when I'm under the weather but I really don't feel well and I could use your company.'' He begs.

''Sure, I can be there in about thirty minutes. Do you need me to pick up anything?'' I ask him.

''I have a headache, and a fever I think. My throats really dry. And food, if you can pick up food you'd be my favorite person ever.'' He says.

I smile.

''Okay, I'll see you in a little bit.'' I hang up the phone, turning around to look at Steven.

''I have to go, he's not feeling wel—''

''It's fine, go.'' He says quickly, not letting me finish the sentence. He's attempting to sound encouraging but I can tell he's not happy.

But I can either go take care of my sick boyfriend or go spend the evening with Steven.

And I know the right choice.

''If you're serious about sticking around we'll hangout soon okay?'' I assure him.

I don't want him to feel like I don't want to spend time with him at all. Despite the circumstances he did come all the way from New York to try and fix shit and I give him credit for that.

He nods.

I smile in response, before heading out of the hotel room, thankfully not running into Harrison on my way out.

I pull my phone from my pocket once I make it to the lobby. I go through my contacts, finding Benny's name and tapping the call button.

The line rings a few times before he picks up.

''Aye! Benny!'' I say with mock excitement.

''Jesus kid, you need something else already? Was it the wrong hotel room? I told you the Kingsley fella that you wanted me to checkout had a room there as well. Do you need that room nu—''

''No, no the room number checked out perfectly, Benny. I just need another favor though. Can you pull the card that's paying for the room off file and replace it with the company's expense card.'' I tell him. I exit the hotel.

''I thought we were keeping this off the books, you said you didn't want Mr. Stark to know about this and I can't do that without clearing it with h—''

''Oh come on, yes you can. I'm pretty sure all you have to do is press a few buttons and then boom, it's done. Hey look, don't worry about Javier, let me worry about Javier.'' I say. I climb into my car, starting it up and heading in the direction of the nearest store.

''I'm not worried about him; I'm worried about losing my job.'' Benny expresses.

''Benny I got you, just do it okay? We're already partners in crime, there's no going back from hacking into that hotels database and searching for those names I gave you. I owe you. Thanks, bye.'' I say, hanging the phone up and tossing it into the passenger's seat.

I'm in and out of the store quickly. I head to a restaurant next to pick up a light take out meal before I'm pulling into Otto's driveway.

I grab the bags and the key he gave me out of the center console before I climb out of the car. I hear a camera shutter and turn around to see a van across the street and several paparazzi snapping pics of me.

Didn't realize bringing food and medicine to your sick boyfriend was such a photo worthy moment.

But to be honest a dog taking a shit is a photo worthy moment to them so I'm really not surprised.

I walk to the front door, unlocking the door, walking in and locking it back behind me.

''Hey babe, where are you?'' I call out as I make my way to the kitchen.

I put the food on the counter and start taking the stuff from the store out of the bag.

''On the couch!'' He yells back.

I laugh, grabbing a water bottle and the tablet of Aleve off the counter before making my way into his living room.

''Couldn't even make it to your bed, huh?'' I tease. I lift his head up, sliding beneath him on the couch and letting him rest his head on my lap as I sit back. ''Here take this,'' I say, taking the pill out of the plastic protector. He grabs it out of my hand, and I twist the cap loose on the water bottle and hand it to him next.

''Where's the food?'' He asks after draining the bottle of all its contents. ''If I told you I forgot the food, how mad would you be?'' I ask, messing with him.

He rolls over on my lap, staring up at me with his tired looking light blue eyes.

''Mad enough to cry,'' He says seriously causing me to laugh.

I lean down and he meets me halfway as I plant a kiss on his lips.

''I didn't forget your food,'' I assure him. 

•••A/N•••

#Dotto? Is that what we're calling them now? Lmao idk, sounds to me like the name of a ship that sinks easily. *shrugs*

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Posted: May 06, 2020.