-Space Enough to Grow by Of Mice & Men-

In their hotel room at the Plaza, Denise sat with her back against the King Sized bed's headboard, holding her mother's business card in her hands. Naturally, she'd imagine bumping into her family many times. No matter how many versions she'd gone through, it wasn't at all like what happened tonight.

Her sister Iris, practically mute. Her mother hugging her as if she was her long lost daughter that she'd been searching for, for years.

Pathetic, Denise thought to herself.

While she might have had more resentment toward her father, she could never ignore the reality that her mother never stood up for her.

Didn't fight for her to not sent away, at least from what Denise remembered.

It had been so long. She questioned if things were even as bad as she recalled. Or did her abandonment issue make it seem like it worse than it was?

Sometimes anger blurred the lines and prevented you from seeing the small details that really change a situation's perspective.

Maybe her mother did fight for her, but just not outwardly.

It didn't matter, either way, because she never came with her or sought her out. Even more so, she stayed with the man that had proven himself to believe that family was expendable.

With a sigh, she put the card on the bedside table, not wanting to think about her family anymore tonight.

This was supposed to be a good night, after all.

She was pregnant. Denise had another chance to be a mom. While she had every right to be nervous and afraid, she felt pretty at peace about it.

Denise had confidence and optimism that Mark had managed to rub off on her. They had been blessed so much that she couldn't help but believe that things were going to be okay. And if they weren't, the storm only lasted so long before the rainbow took its turn.

Fresh out of the shower and only wearing boxers, Mark came out of the bathroom.

"You okay?" he asked her.

Denise nodded. She felt much better now that they were alone and away from people.

Mark gives her an unsure look, knowing she didn't look at all happy at the afterparty. For good reasoning, though.

"I'm great, come here," she patted the bed. "How can I be so upset when I have a big reason to be happy."

Mark sat down beside her with a bright smile on his face.

"Bet you weren't expecting me to tell the whole world, huh?" she leaned back on her arms.

"Not at all," Mark touched her stomach, elated about the precious life his wife was carrying. A life that would be his son or daughter.

He didn't care what the gender was, only that it was healthy.

"I couldn't help myself," Denise placed her hand over his. "I wanted the world to know that I've had the privilege of carrying Mark Walsh's baby."

Mark smirked, "you scared?"

Confidently, Denise shook her head, intertwining her fingers with his. "Not at all."

Mark leaned out for a kiss, only to be met with minty fresh breath as she let out a big yawned.

"I'm so sorry," she giggled.

At such an early stage, her body was no longer and her own. The mother-to-be could feel her pre-pregnancy body feeling away and didn't at all mind. If anything, she was excited.

Exhausted but excited.

"It's okay," Mark kissed her on the cheek.

"Come here," he laid down, and Denise cuddled up to him, laying her head on his chest and her leg across his body.

The moment Mark started rubbing her side, her eyes closed.

His eyes land on her mother's business card.

"Are you going to call?" he wondered out loud.

"I don't know," Denise was honest, her eyes still closed. "It all seems rather ironic."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, when I was sent away, I was pregnant. I bump into them, and I'm pregnant again. It's like one way or another, I've had to face my past, just do things differently - the right way. Dating, friendships, how I treat people, how I treat myself, even how I viewed family, and allowed myself to be accepted by yours. Now, it's just part two. Facing my parents. Facing my dad."

Denise cringed at the thought. She could easily remember the last time she saw him. Tossing a glass cup that was mere inches from hitting him in the head.

Oh, what a spitfire she was back then. That she could easily slip back into it if her father pushed the right buttons.

And he knew just how to push her.

Facing him could set her back, and that was the last thing she needed.

"Hey," Mark felt her tense up.

Opening her eyes, she looked up at him.

"I'm with you this time. If you want to try to reconcile with them, fine, I'm on board. But as long as I have a say, they won't be able to push you to the edge. I won't let them."

Denise's family put Mark into protective mode. Even more so, now that she was pregnant.

If they wanted to make amends, fine, but he wasn't there for the drama. He wouldn't allow it.

Mark was going to protect his wife and his child, no matter what.

Denise felt at ease and, after all, safe as he kissed on the forehead. She was glad she had Mark by her side, especially when she was faced with the decision to keep her distance or find some peace with her family.

Even if they were never close as she was to Mark's family, maybe there was some deeper healing that could take place.

If not with her parents - her sister.

That's who Denise really wanted to talk to - Iris.

Maybe she should do that before facing her parents.

Ironically, they were heading to LA for some interviews anyway. She was sure she could figure out how to get in touch with her sister without going through her mother.

_____________

Denise never thought she'd be brushing her teeth in an airport bathroom.

Yet there she was brushing the taste of her guts out of her mouth.

She went from being nauseous to throwing up faster than she could compute.

It had been so long since Denise experienced pregnancy symptoms that it felt like this was her first pregnancy.

Maybe it was better that way, she thought.

That way, it felt like she wasn't repeating history.

Then again, seeing her sister and mother did make her feel like she was, in fact, repeating history.

"Yeah, don't worry, she's fine," said Ana coming into the bathroom with a stick of gum, a ginger ale, and some crackers.

As Denise rang out her toothbrush, she locked eyes with a worried Mark as the door slowly closed.

She made sure her assuring smile was the last thing he saw before the door killed his view of her.

He shouldn't have been so worried. After all, what Denise was going through was normal and only the beginning.

But Denise realized that the loss of Logan probably weighed heavily on Mark too.

She would have to make sure that he wasn't too troubled because she wasn't planning to walk on eggshells her entire pregnancy.

Be smart, stay healthy, and in tune with her body, yes, but fear was not an option.

"He's gonna use this pregnancy as a reason to spoil you," smirked Ana.

"He already spoils me," Denise put her toothbrush in its holder.

"True," Ana smirked. "You okay?" the brunette knew firsthand what her best friend was going through.

"Yeah," Denise reached for the gum, unsure if she could still taste the vomit or was paranoid that she hadn't brushed well enough.

"Ah, ah, ah," Ana pulled back. "You should eat something first, settle your stomach."

"You know, I've never been so happy to hate the thought of food," Denise took the crackers and the ginger ale.

"Let's not eat in here," Ana picked up her toothbrush for her.

"Good idea," Denise followed her out of the bathroom, already stuffing a dry, bland cracker in her mouth.

When Mark wasn't outside the bathroom, they assumed he probably went back to wait with Cole and Ronnie.

The four of them were getting on a flight to LA to continue promoting and talking about their latest single and upcoming album, which was still in the works.

They'd split it up, covering more ground.

Mark with Denise, and Cole with Ronnie.

"You think it's a good idea to reach out to your sister?" Ana asked curiously.

She looked at Denise, who had been chugging her ginger ale like a beerhead at a college party. The bubbles felt like heaven to her stomach.

"I guess we'll see," Denise let out a small burp. "I already DM'd her on Instagram this morning. We're meeting up after our second interview tomorrow."

"You work fast," Ana was surprised.

"Yeah, well, better to figure out whether I'm gonna cut my family off for good. While I can still see my toes, at least."

"Hey, the early stage is critical too. It would be best if you avoid stressful situations," Ana was worried about her too.

"That's why I'm starting with Iris. She was five when I left. It can't be that bad, right?"

"Unless your father filled her head with lies about you," Ana made a point that Denise had already dwelled on more than she wanted.

Denise shrugs, "well, then, if she hates me, that'll be my cue to keep my distance for good."

Ana turned to her as they stopped by a trashcan.

"Maybe you should take some time to think about this, D. I mean, do you really want to reconcile with your family?"

"I want to be able to say that I tried," Denise answered honestly. "Right now, I'm no better than them. I could have reached out, swallowed my pride. They weren't the best parents, but I wasn't the easiest kid."

"You were naturally responding to the environment that you were in."

"And what about when I was older? A few years ago, I was a horrible person. I was kicking my boyfriend in the balls and almost beat him with a chair."

"To be fair, he hit you first, was an asshole, and you weren't loved as a child. You couldn't help but be a horrible person."

Rolling her eyes, Denise put the last cracker in her mouth and tossed the wrapper in the trash.

"You had good reasons."

"Then maybe my parents did too." Denise shrugged, swallowing the dry cracker. "I was a miserable person because they were horrible parents. Maybe they were horrible parents because their parents were shit too. Where's their grace? Who forgives them like Mark forgave me and my horrible attitude in the beginning? Like you did, when I wouldn't even call you my friend, no matter how much you took care of me?"

Ana went silent. Denise's words convicted her. Making her think about how she's wanted people to forgive her but wasn't even a forgiving person herself.

She still resented her married ex-boyfriend for letting her be a single mother. He wasn't one to blame, considering she knew that he was married.

Yet that never seemed to make her loath him any less.

"Where is all of this coming from?" Ana pushed her poor life decisions to the back of her mind.

"I don't know if I'll ever reconcile with my family, but I do know that hatred, bitterness, and resentment got me nowhere. I was lucky that Mark came along. If he didn't, I'd still be in Mass, probably dead cause Erick killed me about that money. Or finally in jail for ruining someone's car, assault, I mean, the list goes on. I had to change to get where I am today, and so I can't treat this like I would have four years ago."

Did Denise still carry some hurt about what happened? Absolutely.

However, she'd reached a place of maturity in how she felt and conveyed her feelings. Even more so, how she saw forgiveness and those who hurt her.

"So, you're starting with Iris." Ana nodded, now understanding and even commending Denise about how she chose to see the situation and deal with it.

"Yeah," Denise sucked down the rest of her ginger ale and discarded the can. She popped the stick of gum into her mouth and tossed the wrapper right after the empty aluminum.

The girls headed to the waiting area at their gate, where Ronnie was giving a sitting Mark some coffee. He'd whisked the father-to-be a way to help calm his nerves.

"You okay?" Mark stood and caressed his wife's cheek as soon as she was in reach.

"Yes," she laughed a bit at how cute he was when concerned about her. "I'm just pregnant. It happens," she patted him on the arm.

Though she had a smile on her face and did feel better for the moment, the tiredness in her eyes signaled that she would probably be snoring before they even got in the air.

Denise was tired, and it wasn't even close to noon yet.

Mark and Ronnie looked at one another, having just had a conversation about how things would be now that they knew Denise was pregnant.

She shouldn't have had to fly around the world, repeating the same things in interviews while battling morning sickness, nausea, and fatigue.

Denise deserved to be in Boulder, Colorado. In the comfort of her own home where she could lay around in her pajamas all day, throwing up and sleeping as she pleased.

Her priority was no longer about promoting their single but taking care of her and her unborn child.

All while, she was Mark's priority.

Well - they.

"What's wrong?" both Ana and Denise could tell that something was up from the looks on their faces.

Putting Denise on the bench was like telling her to calm down when she was upset. Her music career was like her baby, and she hated when a cold or an injury from dance rehearsal kept her from doing her best.

"Mark?" Denise crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for him to say whatever his face already was.

"Well," Mark begins. "The guys and I were talking and -"

"Did you tell her you're sending her home yet?" Cole joined the conversation eating a greasy breakfast sandwich.

"Dude," Ronnie shook his head as Denise arched a brow at her husband.

"What?" scoffed Cole, innocently.

"We just want you to take care of yourself," Mark explained.

"Yeah, you and Mark can head home," chimed in Ronnie. "Cole and I will handle the interviews."

"They're right," Ana put a hand on her shoulder. "You're gonna need all the rest you can get."

Denise took a moment to think. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but she didn't have the energy to argue, nor did she surprisingly want to.

Being at home, in her own bed, and no pants sounded like heaven right now.

This wasn't like battling a cold or a sprained ankle.

Denise was carrying a life - that was the best excuse to opt-out of work.

"Okay," she nodded to everyone's surprise.

"But," she held up a finger. "I still want to go to LA to talk to my sister and to have our interview with Yvette."

Mark nods, "anything you want," he made her smile.

The five look up, hearing that their plane was about to start boarding.

Getting ready, they start to gather their things.

****

Excuse me while I go sob because I would rather be writing this book than doing my finals that are due tomorrow. I'm trying to give you guys my all before my slow updating starts up again. :D

Thanks for reading!