-Wearing Nothing by Dagny-

Denise and Mark's week in Jackson, Wyoming, was well needed. The couple had so much fun, being off the internet for a little while. They fished, rode horses, hiked, kayaked, and, overall, enjoyed one another as they always did.

In the midst, however, Denise couldn't stop thinking about her sex talk with Ana.

Sex wasn't something she talked about. It was just something she did. She hadn't even had a conversation with her parents about it when she was younger.

If she talked about it, she probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant so young.

So to talk about it with Mark was daunting. Especially since she had more experience than him, and not in a good way.

Sex for her, like her exes, was like a cigarette. She didn't have feelings for most, if not all, the men she got into bed with, and now she was in love with Mark.

Sex and love-making were two completely different things, and she was very well familiar with one and not the other. She couldn't even begin to think about what making love to someone even entailed.

She was intimidated, which was odd for her because she wasn't intimidated by anyone or anything.

Mark might not have had any experience, physically, but he loved -hard. It's just who he was.

Love was a new concept that Denise had to figure out along the way. Even more so, vulnerability.

Mark, even before they were together, had managed to break down her walls. But sex would be a whole new thing for her.

She's allowed men to use her body, but she never allowed them to love it.

Denise grumbled in annoyance as she brushed her teeth in the bathroom mirror.

She was embarrassed that she was embarrassed to talk to Mark about sex. It seemed so immature and teenage-like.

People should talk about sex more. If they did, maybe they wouldn't be so screwed up when and after it happened.

But she had to ask him sooner or later.

Luckily, Mark wasn't some sex-crazed dude who would make creepy-ass jokes. He respected women in such a way that sex wasn't some game for him.

Even though he was the youngest of two girls, he was protective of them. He refused to treat women in a way that he would hate for his sisters or his mother to be treated.

Sex is a good thing, and it's normal, and it's beautiful. But as often seen in the world, when you're not careful, it ruins people's lives.

Whether because it was forced, uncomfortable, used for adultery, used for blackmail, someone's addiction, another's the lack thereof, the list goes on.

Sex is for mature and responsible people, yet the immature and irresponsible continue to make into something ugly and distasteful.

"Just ask him," Denise shook her head at herself as she returned her toothbrush to its case. "What's the worse that can happen?" she thought out loud.

Right on time, Mark came into the cabin from walking Rex for the last time tonight.

Mustering up the courage, Denise goes into the bedroom, where Rex runs past to his water bowl.

She was so focused on talking to Mark about sex, she doesn't notice how pale he was. He looked like he had seen a ghost as he pushed his cellphone into his pocket.

"Do you want to have sex with me?" she blurted out.

All the color came back into his face as he frowned at her, "what?"

"Oh, shit," Denise let out a heavy sigh, rubbing her face. "I didn't mean it like that. I should have thought this through."

Having never seen her so nervous, Mark walked over to calm her down. "Are you -"

"No, sit," she backed away. "Before I back out of this."

"Okay," Mark cleared his throat and sat on the edge of the bed.

While he was intrigued by the conversation they were about to have, he was kind of amused by how on edge she was.

It was kind of cute, seeing her so riled up. It was a bigger glimpse of her vulnerable side.

Clearing his throat again, he sat up straight and stayed serious, so she wouldn't think he took her for a joke.

"What I meant to say," she explained. "Is that, you never really ask or hint that you want to have sex with me, and suddenly, it's kind of worried me. Because I don't know many guys who aren't hinting that they want to get busy."

"We've only been together for six months."

"I know, and most guys are asking for it after two weeks. Hell, the first date." Noticing how harsh she's sounded, Denise takes a breath, lowering her tone.

She was stern because she was so nervous.

"And I'm not mad at you for not saying anything. I just want to make sure that you're attracted to me and that you don't mind that we haven't had sex- yet."

"Come here," Mark patted the empty spot beside him.

Sighing, Denise sits down.

"I do want to have sex with you," he confessed, bluntly.

"Really?" Denise was surprised and relieved at the same time.

"Denise, I wanted to have sex with you not too long after we actually started dating."

Denise raised an eyebrow, even more, surprised.

"Think about it. Half of the time, we're either cramped up alone in the van or in a hotel room. Alone. No interruptions. I love you. You're gorgeous, and a really good kisser. I'm a virgin, but I'm not dead."

Denise let out a stifled laugh. "That actually makes a lot of sense."

"Just because I have self-control, doesn't mean I don't feel things."

"Of course, of course," Denise kind of felt bad.

Everyone saw virgins as aliens when that really isn't the case. Half of the time, virgins are freakier than those having sex. Just because someone doesn't partake in an activity doesn't mean that they don't want to do it.

Ex-drug addicts can still want to do drugs.

Ex-alcoholics can still want to drink.

Hell, you can still want to be with the person that you dumped.

"Well, why didn't you say anything?" Denise asks him.

"Well, firstly, I want sex to be a plus in our relationship, not the center of it. Secondly, it took a lot to get you to even tell me your feelings. I figured sex would also be something we'd have to ease into, which I don't have a problem with. What sex was for you with other guys is what I don't want it to be for you and me. And if that means waiting until you're ready, I'm fine with that."

"Oh my god," Denise laughed in disbelief, looking away.

"What?"

"I think you're gonna make me marry you. That's what," Denise couldn't believe how lucky she was.

"What brought all of this up, anyway?" Mark was curious.

"I had a conversation with Ana," Denise started to explain.

And before they knew it, they were comfortably spending the whole night talking about sex and how they viewed it.

Having had traditional parents, Mark saw sex more traditionally. If you weren't going to wait for marriage, he believed that you should at least do it with someone you really care about and love.

For Denise, growing up, it was just a thing all her peers were doing. Her parents never talked to her about it, nor did they ever come off as having a sex life because they weren't affectionate to each other.

Which likely catered to Denise, keeping love outside of sex.

Looking back, it seemed her parents' marriage was more of business transactions than love, really.

Neither of them had ever gotten into porn and did not appreciate how unrealistic it was portrayed on TV either.

Growing up, Mark had heard so many stories from his friends that he knew sex was nothing like it was shown on TV.

Their conversation went into their expectations - their likes and their dislikes.

"Okay, I'm not into feet," Mark made it clear, laying on his back beside Denise.

She burst into laughter, nearly falling off the bed.

"I'm serious," Mark couldn't keep in his laugh either. I've met too many guys in prison who were unapologetic about their foot fetish. I don't get it, and I don't want any part of it."

"Okay, okay," Denise let out a sigh, calming down. "Understandable, I wholeheartedly agree."

She clutches a pillow to her chest, "okay, my turn. I don't like it rough. A little aggression is fine, I guess, but I don't want to be tied up, choked, licked like a dog or weird shit whispered in my ear. I despise the pet name 'daddy.' I don't want to be spank, whipped - none of that."

Denise cringes, "just no."

"You sound like you've had bad experiences."

"Oh, a few guys have tried it," she admitted. "One guy went a little too far, and I ended up keying his car."

"What is up with you and cars?" Mark chuckled, shaking his head.

"There are two things that guys hold dear to their heart, their form of transportation, and their game consoles. I figured I'm already leaving, can't just walk past the car."

"Right, of course, can't fight the urge of ruining a nice car."

"See you get it, you get it," Denise grinned.

Turning on her side, she pulled Mark's around her. His arms were her favorite place to be.

She was glad that they had this conversation. Even more so, there wasn't pressure for sex.

It was a want, rather than a need that would make or break them.

Until Mark, Denise didn't know that someone could love you so well that physical intimacy was almost second nature.

They built such a strong bond by spending time with one another that what they felt for each other went beyond the physical.

Frankly, it seemed like that was how love was supposed to be.

When you decide to be with someone you love forever, you have to consider that you'll get old. One day, you won't be able to move as you did when you were younger. If sex is all the intimacy that you know, you'll be a miserable old couple.

Even before you get old, accidents happen and can leave people immobile.

If sex is the only way you can show your intimacy, then you're gonna cheat. Hell, you might even leave them.

A relationship must have a bond that doesn't just end at the physical but goes beyond that.

"What's something good that you want out of our sex life?" Denise intertwined her fingers with his.

"I want it to be special, unlike anything you've experienced with any guy. And I'm not talking just physically, but emotionally. I don't want it to just be fun, but another way that I can show you that I love you, because I do. I'm crazy about you."

"Ironic," Denise's heart warmed. "I was thinking the same thing. For most of my life, it's always been about me. Who did me wrong, and what I could get out of people, especially guys. I didn't think I could love anyone before you. I don't want it to be just about making me feel good, but you too. I'm just as crazy about you, as you are me, after all."

"Glad we're on the same page then," Mark kissed her temple, making her smile. "Since we're on the topic, we should probably talk about what we'll do, just in case something happens. Like . . . you get pregnant."

Mark felt Denise tense up and soothingly rubbed her arm. It didn't work, but he didn't stop.

"Just because we don't plan for it, doesn't mean it won't or can't happen. If it did, I would want to keep it," Mark was honest.

To someone else, the conversation might have been a bit premature. After all, they hadn't even been together a year.

But they had to consider that they weren't timing when they were going to have sex. The moment could present itself tomorrow, next week, or next month.

They had to be on the same page about what they'll do if she falls pregnant.

They had to be smart and responsible.

"You don't have to answer," Mark finally felt Denise calm down a bit. "I just want you to think about it, that's all."

Mark didn't know what it was like to lose a child. So he wasn't going to pressure her for an answer.

Or judge her if she wanted to do the opposite of what he did.

He just wanted her to know where he stood.

Little did he know, the problem wasn't that she would want to get rid of it.

Denise's issue was her desire to be a mother and have a family.

Despite her promise to herself that she'd never build a family or try to have a child again - the desire was always present.

And even more so, hard to ignore.

__________

Denise woke up to an empty bed the next morning. Hearing Mark talk in a low voice, she looked toward the door.

Through the screen door, she could see Mark leaning on the porch steps on the phone.

Yawning, she climbed out of bed, getting greeted by Rex, who had been patiently waiting for Mark to come back inside.

"Hey buddy," she picked him up, kissing his soft black fur.

Holding him in her arms, she goes out to the porch.

"Yeah, I guess I'll see you soon," Mark says. "Love you too, bye."

"Who was that?" Denise grabbed his attention, still blinking the sleep out of her squinting eyes.

Mark stands up, "I was going to tell you this last night, but we started talking."

"What happened?"

"I got a DM from Adeline last night. When I was taking Rex for a walk."

Denise's eyebrows furrowed as she put Rex down and let him back into the cabin. "Adeline as in your oldest sister?"

"Yeah, she sent me her number. Said she'd been watching our videos for some time now and was proud of me. Said she finally found the courage to reach out. She invited us to her place - to see my family."

Denise could see the nervousness and excitement in Mark's eyes. He was practically shaking.

"It'll be fine," Denise hugged home tightly. "You've changed, but you're still the kind-hearted son they raised. It's gonna go well, so don't worry."

Mark closed his eyes, finding comfort and peace in her embrace.

One thing for sure, he was glad he didn't have to face his family alone.

****

I just want to say, thank you guys so much for your support. I know that I don't reply to your comments a lot, but I'm always reading them, and they warm my heart.

I'm glad that this story has touched you guys, and I'm just thankful for your support. You guys are awesome and your comments are so fun to read! I love it! I love it! I love it.

I hope you guys enjoyed the updates! Sending love your way!