-Crush by Tessa Violet-

Denise pushed the LIVE button on her Instagram and grabs her pack of cigarettes. She woke up a little bit past noon to find that Mark was out. Oddly, she felt like talking about her feelings.

Since he wasn't there, she decided to go LIVE and talk to their fans.

She sat on the balcony of their hotel room with her phone, propped up on the chair. Even wearing a tank top and shorts, the sun was melting her like a popsicle.

Denise stuck it out, not being able to smoke inside the hotel room.

She takes the first drag of her cigarette, and her eyes widen at how many people had joined the LIVE so quickly. It was over a thousand and still climbing.

"This is insane," she started reading the comments. "Every time you guys smoke in your videos, my throat itches," Denise laughs.

"Understandable," she wasn't offended. "Fun fact, I haven't even been smoking that long. I don't even think it's been a year. This guy I was fooling around with introduced them to me. They became an instant fix when I'm not in the mood to deal with men or a hangover."

She takes another puff of her cigarette. "Surprisingly, I haven't got laid or overindulged in alcohol since meeting Mark. I'm guessing I mind as well kick these cigarettes to the curb before its too late."

She looks at all the comments, which was a mixture of agrees and loving her honesty.

"Anyway," Denise sighs, "Mark went to the gym because apparently, he's not big enough. Just kidding, we eat out a lot. According to him, it's catching up to him."

Someone asks where they are.

"We're in Deleware right now. We've been here for almost two weeks. So we're leaving soon. We've spent most of her time going to history sights because I mean, it is the first state. It's not as boring as it sounds either. I actually loved history in school, so I was pretty into it. Mark tried to be into it," she laughed. "But after the gym, he's bringing me back food, and we're gonna take a hike later."

Tapping her cigarette with her thumb, she scanned the comments again.

Most were asking about her and Mark, whether they liked each other. If it was true that they were only friends.

"You guys are obsessed," she rolled her eyes. "But here's the tea. Mark and I," she leans close to the phone, "we're just friends."

With a mischievous laugh, she pulls back from the camera before getting serious. "Anyway, I did not go LIVE to talk about Mark, I needed to vent, and I thought why not talk to you guys? Maybe some of you can relate. I woke up this morning, and I actually loved what I saw when I looked in the mirror."

She takes a drag of her cigarette and blows out the smoke.

"And I don't mean love how I looked because I always thought I was beautiful. Luckily, that was never an issue for me. I hated who I was on the inside. I've always had this negative perspective of myself. I was never good enough for my parents, so I lived my life thinking I wasn't good enough for anyone. That I'm not worthy of good things. That I don't possess what people are looking for. And now, I'm like, I'm not that bad. I'm pretty cool. I'd have a smoke with me."

Denise catches one of the comments that say, "I don't even smoke, and I'd smoke with you, girl."

"Aww, thanks," Denise blushes.

"You know, I'm just grateful that I met Mark, which a few months earlier would have been hard for me to admit. Everyone has their idea of what a good friend is, but Mark, sometimes I feel like he is a Godsend."

A smile crept upon her face as she talked about him.

"He's been really patient with me. I've never had anyone take the time to get to know me and listen. I could never imagine opening up to anyone, let alone a man. He's my first friend, my first home."

Tears welled in her eyes.

"To be real guys, sometimes I'm scared of losing him. This traveling the country and YouTube thing, I think it's temporary. A guy like Mark, he can't spend his life with someone like me. Which is funny because I just said I love who I am, which I do. I just - he's so mature, so wise, so pure - I mean, you guys have heard his story. He deserves a good woman, a family, and I want that for him. But no girl is gonna want a guy living inside a van with another woman. So, I have to figure something out. How to move on with my life."

As tears streamed down her cheeks, she looked away as she puffed her cigarette. "I've walked away from a lot of guys without a second thought. And here's Mark, got me crying in front of the world."

With a sigh, Denise wipes her eyes. "Some people aren't meant to be in your life forever, and that sucks for someone like me. Someone who's remained detached from people for so long. To have created a bond with him that could end at any moment is honestly heartbreaking."

As she tapped on her cigarette, she started reading through the comments.

It's one comment that catches her eye in particular:

What if Mark was meant to be in your life forever?

__________

The question had been on Denise's mind ever since her LIVE: What if Mark was meant to be in your life forever?

She even began to think about Mark's question concerning her future.

Denise told him she didn't know, but at the same time, she hated the thought of parting ways with him.

There were contradicting thoughts.

Either she didn't know, or really, she wanted a future that included Mark.

There was no way they could just live as best friends in a van for the rest of their lives. She hadn't planned to be alone for the rest of her life, so it was the same for her.

No guy was going to want to date her when she was living in a van with another guy. Guys barely approached her anymore with Mark around.

That led her to question her feelings about Mark.

Of course, she liked him. He was her friend, her best friend at this point. He was sweet, caring, he made her laugh and smile. She could talk to him about anything and everything.

Not to mention, the guy was hot.

But being with him, more than friends, that wasn't a box she wanted to open.

It's easy to change and be better with someone supporting you, but what happens if they actually started dating? What if she gets too comfortable and starts turning back into who she was?

He had never had a girlfriend before, and she couldn't even count how many scum bags she had been with on her fingers.

Mark was so good, and she was so - tainted.

Denise didn't feel like she was on his level in a sense. It didn't mean she was an awful person. She felt like she just didn't match who he was and where he was going in life.

Then the daunting question hit her: why did he ask her about her future?

"Hey, earth to Denise," Mark nudged her arm.

Denise came out of her thoughts, realizing that they were hiking at Trap Pond State Park. She looks at Mark, who had his eyebrows raised at her, "you alright?"

"Why did you ask me about my future?" she stopped and turned to him.

"What?" Mark was caught off guard by her question.

"Why did you ask me about my future?" she repeated. "Do you plan on ditching me or something?"

"Oh, come on, I would never do that. Not without giving a month's notice, obviously," he joked.

"That's not funny," Denise grimaced and walked off.

"Hey, hey, hey," Mark quickly pulls her back.

The fearful look in her eyes made him realize she was serious, and that something was wrong. "What's up with you?"

"I suck men dry, drive them so crazy that they put their hands on me, and then leave them like I did, Eric. And the cycle goes on and on and on. Then there's you. Someone I actually care about. That's scary for me. I've never had a friend before, and I'm afraid to lose you. I know that we'll move on eventually, but -"

"Hey," Mark held her arms, calming her down. "I'm not going anywhere, okay?"

Denise looked deep into his earnest eyes.

"That's why I asked you about your future because I'm not really looking forward to us parting ways either," he answered honestly. "I hate the thought. I mean, where else am I going to find a sassy travel buddy?"

Denise laughs, "let's be honest, you're never gonna find another sassy travel buddy like me," she joked.

"Trust me," Mark didn't laugh. "I know."

Denise gulped, becoming captivated in his stare.

There was something different about the way that he looked at her. Even the way he held her was different. When they cuddled or leaned on one another, it was strictly platonic. No feelings, just friendship.

But his grip was firm, protective-like, and affectionate all at the same time.

All-day, she had been questioning her feelings toward Mark, but it seemed he had already figured out his regarding her.

Denise knew she wasn't crazy because she had been with many guys, and none of them had looked at her the way Mark was at that moment.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she slaps his hands off of her.

"Like what?" Mark held in a smirk.

"Like you like me or something," she looked him up and down with a look of disgust.

"Well, I have to like you at least a little bit to deal with your gassy ass," he jokes again.

"You know what I mean," Denise rolls her eyes. "And I'm serious," she crosses her arms over her chest, arching a brow.

Mark wasn't afraid to tell her the truth; that was never the case. He didn't want to confess his feelings prematurely, especially if she wasn't on the same page.

But here she was, asking for the truth, and he had no reason to lie to her.

Mark had been honest with her from the get-go, so there was no reason to stop now. Even if he was at risk of being rejected.

"I'm in love with you, Denise," he said confidently, undoubtedly, and unapologetically.

With her eyes locked on his and an incredulous smile on her face, Denise stayed silent. She squinted, looking for any sign of deceit or humor.

But she couldn't find it.

Mark didn't recant or ask her if she felt the same. He simply waited for her to process.

He couldn't determine if he had just ruined their friendship or change it for the better. Either way, it didn't matter to him. Mark felt better, knowing that she was aware of where he stood.

With an awkward shrug, Denise sighs, "okay."

She starts walking down the trail, preventing Mark from seeing the nervous look on her face.

"Okay?" Mark was surprised rather than offended.

It wasn't like Denise to not have a response or opinion about anything.

Denise turns around but keeps walking, "yeah, okay. I mean, obviously, you're in love with me, I'm awesome," she chuckled dubiously. "No need to make this weird. Come on, we got a long way to go."

Turning back around, Denise rolls her eyes at herself, refusing to look back at him.

__________

One week later

It was Mark's birthday, and Denise wanted to do something special for him. Since he celebrated her birthday, it was only fair that she return the favor. Mainly because he deserved to be celebrated.

At first, Denise was relieved that they ended up in DC on his birthday. There were so many things they could do and places to go.

But after doing some thinking, she wanted to do something that he would remember. Something that really came from the heart.

In the middle of vlogging, Denise closes the door to the bedroom of their hotel room.

"So," she talked to the camera as she went over to the dining room. "I just got back from picking up Mark's present. I'm not nervous that he won't like it because once you see it, you instantly fall in love with it," Denise gushed in excitement.

"Mark should be back soon; he's been out all day. I'm so glad that he's an introvert. Telling him to go and occupy himself is basically heaven to him. I've been cooking all morning for our picnic at Meridan Hill Park. Since finding out I can cook, he's been breathing down my neck to make him food, so I hope he likes it."

She turns the camera around to record the food. "So, we've got Strawberry Salsa with Lime Tortilla Chips because they're so much better than the regular, don't at me. Mozzarella, Red Pepper, and Bacon Skewers. I never follow a recipe all the way. So, I revamped the bacon."

"We went to the place called First Watch a few days ago, and they had this Million Dollar bacon. It was sweet but spicy. It was so good, I thought, why not make it myself? Long story short, I found a recipe on the internet. I put brown sugar, pepper, and paprika on the bacon and popped it in the oven. Let's just say I'll never eat regular bacon again. If Mark doesn't like it, more for me."

Denise scans the camera on the next dish. "For our entree, we have Orzo with shrimp. Basically, pasta with vegetables that I sauteed. I think I tossed it in some red wine vinegar and something else I can't remember. Last but not least, German Black Forest Cake, which stressed me out. I can make food taste good, but look good is another story. My hand was shaking so much when I was putting the icing on it, but it actually looks pretty good. I even gave it some swirls."

She turns the camera back around to face her, "that's pretty much it. I'm kind of nervous because I've never done anything for anybody. I didn't even celebrate my own birthday. It might not seem like much, but Mark and I aren't really gift-people. We've lived lives where we had things and had nothing. Though he's like filthy rich, he doesn't even go on shopping sprees. We just sleep in descent hotels and eat really good."

Denise sighs apprehensively, "I got the idea of a picnic because he and his family used to do them together. I know he misses them, so I thought he'd enjoy a birthday picnic. Also, I know I said that we aren't gift-people, but my gift isn't an ordinary gift. Don't worry, you'll see."

Her attention snaps to the door when she hears the lock click.

Mark peeks his head inside, "I'm back!"

Chuckling, Denise goes over and opens the door all the way, "you can come in," she starts filming him. "Say hi birthday boy who doesn't look a day over thirty."

"Well, thank you," smiled Mark widely as he closed the door.

"Did you have fun exploring?"

"I did, I visited some museums and took pictures with tourists."

"You're kidding," Denise laughed. "Wa,s it the tattoos?"

"It was. They were so fascinated. In a good way, of course. I didn't mind it."

"That is so adorable and you're so nice to look it that way. I told you you're tattoos were cool. Only cool people can see that." She takes his hand and pulls him over to the table, "I hope you're hungry."

"I'm starving."

"Good because we're gonna have a birthday picnic with all this food that I made for you."

"You made all of this?" Mark was surprised.

Denise nods, "I slaved over a kitchen for you all morning. If that doesn't say friendship, I don't know what does. Since you mentioned you and your family used to go on picnics and stuff, I thought we could have our own. I'm not your family but -"

"Hey, you are my family," Mark corrected her. "So, thank you."

Denise sucked in a breath, thankful that the camera couldn't catch her smitten facial expression.

"I can't wait to try all this food," Mark's mouth was already watering.

"Well, before we pack this up, I have to give you your gift, which has surprisingly been really quiet, so I should go get it," Denise gives him the camera and runs off.

Mark frowned, confused yet curious about what the gift was.

His four-legged, black curly-haired answer comes running out of the bedroom toward him in excitement.

"You got a dog?" Mark was almost at a loss for words as he scooped the small pup into his arms.

Denise takes the camera, "Well, after hearing about your family dogs, I thought, why not have a fuzzy friend of your own. I know guys are weird about what kind of dogs they have, but the van wasn't built for a big breed. And this little guy was too cute not to get."

"He's perfect," Mark petted the dog as he got licked to death. "What's his name?"

"His name is Rex. He is a teacup poodle, just turned a year and already trained."

"Rex," Mark's face was lit up like a kid in a candy store. "Even his name's perfect."

"I thought so too," Denise turns the camera around as she stands next to the two. "Oh my god," she laughed. "We look like one of those cliche YouTube family channels."

"We do," Mark smiles at her. "Thanks, D."

"Well, don't thank me yet," Denise rolled her eyes playfully. "You've gotta eat my food first. That being said, we'll see you guys at the park. We probably won't film that much because we want to actually celebrate his birthday. But, as always, thanks for watching and make sure you wish Mark a happy birthday in the comments!"

She and Mark wave goodbye and end the video.

****

It's my first time making characters as YouTubers, so it feels weird writing them doing videos. Hope it's not strange to read.