We didn't really talk afterwards. I didn't think we really needed to. We just laid next to one another in silence in his bed. I wasn't quite sure how we ended up here. It was all a blur. Skin to skin. Lips to lips. And the next thing I knew we were naked tangled up in his sheets after already committing the deed downstairs.

Shane's legs were entangled with mine. The warmth of his skin pressing against me ignited shards of electricity, the embrace of his large, muscular arms enveloping me, hoarded safety, and the sudden pressing softness of his lips kissing the top of my head showered me with complete affection. I loved this. My own sanctuary within his arms. I loved how just being here with him could send all my troubles, the reality flying away. It was just obviously wicked that I was insistent on keeping him whilst refusing to part ways with my husband.

"We're not always going to be able to do this," he muttered, breaking the silence between us both. He began to shuffle, stirring our embrace as he sat up and rested his brown locks of hair against the leather headboard. I readjusted my position, crawling up as before laying my head against his firm abdomen. I had been stupid to think his apparent frustration could be completely eradicated by sex. Shane was clearly still torn. He didn't want me with Nick. He knew I shouldn't be with Nick. "Rose, I'm trying. I want to wait for you---"

--"Don't," I interjected as I sat up. The cream quilt slipping further down my torso.

Shane exhaled softly as he raked his fingers through his bedraggled hair. He must have sensed my stubbornness to remain mute. He knew there wasn't no point in arguing. I was difficult to argue with.

I couldn't stand to see him so despondent. "Shane." My fingers grasped his hands. "I—"

His hands slid from my own. "I think we need time alone. I think you need the time to think what you really want, Rose. And I mean what you really want. I can't do this. I can't share you," he butted in, unhesitant as he moved out of the bed and grabbed his grey boxers off the carpet floor.

"Shane. Don't," I pleaded, dragging myself from the bed as I scuttled along with the quilt wrapped around my body trying to reach him. He dropped his head, standing at the end of the bed, looking more in despair as if lost upon a dark, stormy sea.

"You need time, Rose. I think you should leave," he replied, refusing to dare look me in the eyes.

I opened my mouth before closing it tightly shut. The stubborn half of me was fuelled with abrupt anger as I threw the quilt down and hastily began to reclaim my clothes off the floor. He didn't say a word.

I couldn't help my bitterness towards him even if I was to blame. "You know what! Fine! I'm going! I won't ever come around here again!" I spat, throwing my top over my head quickly. He didn't even flinch. "You know this is all your fault! You're the one who initiated this! You! You!" I shouted, flinging one of the pillows off the bed at him. Shane caught it but refused to respond agitating me more as I stood there blaring with rage. "I'm married! You came onto me!" Then I shook my head as I stalked out of the room, the quiet steps of his own tracing mine.

"We're done!" I hissed just as I reached the front door. Shane's face was unreadable. And that angered me even more. I didn't stop myself as I shoved him hard before marching out and slamming the door behind me. Fury was burning throughout my veins. I didn't even look back as I headed towards my house, struggling to find stability as I rummaged through my set of keys.

The tears suddenly dawned on me. They were streaming down my face like a floodgate being left open. I hardly knew how I managed to open the door. But as soon as I did, I rushed in and closed it hard, struggling to choke back my emotions of utter misery. Everything was just a wreck. I had not only cheated on Nick. I had lost the only person I could see myself building a life with. And truthfully, I knew deep down it was all my fault, regardless if Shane had tempted me initially. In the end game, I was the batter hitting the ball, I was playing my part.

***

I must have not moved from that spot for two hours or so. It took effort for me to pull myself up. But that wasn't the bizarre part, instead led by my low spirts, I found myself sat behind my desk, typing and adding more to my unfinished manuscript. I knew not how it was possible but the spurge of writing was prevalent. My fingers were whisking over the keyboard, the trail of words following behind the leading cursor.

Fuck it, I could remember telling myself once I'd began. I must have written over six pages enough to qualify for a possible chapter.

Elle was distraught. He didn't want to see her. He wanted no more. And she despised him for that. He just didn't understand the predicament she was in. Andre was her first real ever love. He had been there through the good and bad, he'd picked her up when she down and cherished her unconditionally. How on earth could she just break it off? When all he had ever been was the man, she thought she could always love. And then he came into the picture. That godforsaken charming next-door neighbour, the man who had made her question it all. He had turned her life upside down completely. His charm, his honesty, the sex and even that goddamn record player in the corner of his apartment had her hooked. And then things became serious. The question of their foundations of a life together popped into the scene. It had him. It had her. But Elle was just unable to fully let go of Andre. She couldn't. So, it only made sense her neighbour couldn't hang on.

I have to choose, I paused midway through sentence. But what if I couldn't? What if I couldn't choose the man I wanted? Either way, they both get hurt. So, where's the bonus in that? As if you deserve any of them, my conscience sneered. You're a cheat. A lying friend. Maybe, it's just the sex. I shook my head. That wasn't true. I hadn't just pursued this affair for sex. But what if that was true? It wasn't. I liked Shane for who he was. But who is he really?

I squeezed my eyes shut as I shook my head. Shut up. Shut up. I nagged at my conscience feeling soon after stupid for arguing with nothing but my own internal voice.

This has to stop. All of it. Shane had made himself clear. And now I would do the same. I would stay away. I will fix my marriage. I have to. Dragging my attention to the computer screen, I backspaced as I readjusted my protagonist's tone.

Elle was wrong. She couldn't blame her neighbour completely. Had she really been truly faithful to Andre in the first place, none of this would have happened. The constant doubt, fear, guilt wouldn't be here. It wouldn't exist. But now it does. She had a decision to make. Confess or pretend. One day it could go all way. She could wipe a clean slate. Try to mend what's there. Elle could make things work with Andre. They could have it all. Get married, have kids and that picket white fence surrounding their family home. It was possible. Possibly, this was just a silly phase. Maybe, her love for Andre could return. Maybe, it just was the sex. After-all, her neighbour barely knew her. He didn't know she suffered from anorexia when she was younger. He didn't know that she liked to sleep on the right side of bed. He had never been there when she lost faith in herself. Andre was there. He had always been.

I hit enter, the cursor jumped down a line. I could no longer romanticise this affair. Clearly, I intended that message to my own circumstance.

No more.

I carried on typing.

I must have for some quite some time as I soon heard the front door from downstairs close, followed by footsteps. Ashamed, I remained where I was.

Behind me, I could hear the door slowly being poked forward. Then I felt a hand squeeze my shoulder reassuringly before words fleeted my husband's mouth.

"How are you?" he asked, some despair still laced within his tone. Not that I could blame him. I had after-all, humiliated him in front of his friend. My husband had every right to despise me. Even more so, if he knew what had really been going on.

I switched the monitor off before turning to stand up. "Nick, I'm so sorry about yesterday. About everything. I've been such a crappy wife lately," I said hopelessly, "I don't deserve you," I confessed, knowing there was complete truth within that statement. How could I deserve a man like him? Someone who has been nothing but cherishing, faithful and constantly there. Heck, I couldn't be mad for those countless times he was away. Hong Kong. LA. That was nothing compared to what I had done.

Nick caressed his fingers upon my left cheek, delicately stroking up to my ear and back to my jawline. "Rose, I love you so much. You haven't been crappy. Please, don't be like that...just talk to me, that's all. Whatever you're going through, we can work it out together."

I smiled weakly, clasping his hand that cupped my cheek. "I love you, Nick."

I had to change. I had to make the mends. I could no longer allow myself to think of him.

THANK YOU FOR READING! A LITTLE SHORT CHAPTER BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED NONETHELESS! PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE! HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING THE STORY SO FAR? WHAT WOULD BE YOUR PERFECT PLAYLIST FOR THIS BOOK? LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS!