It couldn't be Nick. This didn't seem real. I was convinced I was just seeing things. But even as I discreetly pinched my arm, the man I once gave my heart to, walked down the aisle towards, and who had broken his heart, stood right before me. His blonde tousled locks were overgrown and hid his forehead, the stubble on his face prickly, and what could only be taken as yesterday's clothes, showed the state of a heartbroken man. I had truly broken him. Shattered him completely. He was really there, standing there, holding a hardcover of my book with sad eyes reluctant to look into mine.

"Nick, I-I-" I began, pausing as I swallowed a mouthful of salvia, unsure if I could even manage another word or two. "I didn't expect to see you here," I added, a pathetic reply. I rubbed my sweaty hands anxiously across the sides of my torso.

"Can we talk in private?" he muttered, before briefly looking to the red carpeted floor.

"Sure." I nodded, briefly giving a thumbs up to Peter, my agent, who stood in the distance, his cautious eyes checking if I was alright.

"Follow me," I said, before heading through the maze of bookshelves, making my way to the back of the store or at least to the non-fiction area, which allowed some privacy from the parade of people at the front, happily chatting and oblivious to the dilemma occurring. I kept quiet for a second or two, unsure if he was going to make the first move or if I had to but decided to take the step myself.

"So, how are you—I mean, stupid question. I'm sorry, I just didn't expect to see you...here," I said, biting down my bottom lip straight after, hoping I hadn't just cause further fuse or tension between us.

"I didn't either but...I kept thinking over and over this morning how I made that promise to you," he explained, his tone quiet and lifeless.

A flashback came to life. I could remember it vividly. I had just had my first book published. We were in our first apartment, happily married and in the prime of our relationship. The hardcopies of my book had been delivered to me before my book signing and I was dancing like crazy around the living room, gobsmacked I had the real deal within my hands.

"Oh my god, Nick! I'm published! I'm published!" I had cheered, fist pumping the air before embracing my hardcopy.

"I'm so proud of you, babe!" he had smiled, before tugging me into an embrace. I could remember the soft touch of his lips on the end of my nose and then the sweetest words fleeting his lips. "I promise to always support you no matter what with your writing. You're an incredible author."

I blinked back tears, catching myself back into reality. I remembered the promise. The way Nick had consistently been there to every book launch, every ups and downs and every writer's block, showing always complete support. It saddened me that this time was different.

"I know," I mumbled, blinking back more tears as I tried to keep composed. "But I don't expect you to keep that promise no more not after how I treated you," I added.

"I know," he replied, "Call me crazy, naïve but what fool turns up to his ex-wife's book signing, a book that's about her affair? I honestly don't know why I am—"

"—Because you're the most selfless, loving person I know," I interjected softly, "I honestly don't even know how you can even look me in the eyes right now, let alone breathe the same air as me."

"I can't do this anymore, Rose. I can't after this...see you again," he said, "it hurts too much. I'm miserable, co-dependent on what we had and that's not healthy. I don't think I could ever forgive you for what you did. I want to hate you, but I can't. I love you too much, but I can't hold onto you anymore. I guess...I wanted to tell you that I'm moving away. Australia," he explained, licking his bottom gently. "Work has gotten me a good promotion over there. I'm not entirely too sure why I am telling you this or even giving you insight into my life but...it just feels so alien without you," he added.

"I know," I affirmed, 'I feel the same...I mean, things just feel so different without you—"

"—Why did you do it, Rose? Did I really make you unhappy?" he softly interjected, his sad eyes meeting mine, trying their best to search for the answer but falling short.

"I-I, was never not happy with you, Nick. I was...unhappy with myself. It seriously had nothing to do with you. You were perfect, more than great. I just...realised I wasn't happy with myself anymore," I explained, hoping what I had said made sense, but even then, it didn't justify why I cheated on him.

"I just...don't understand," he confessed, shaking his head as he leaned his elbow on the side of shelf adjacent to him. "I thought we were great. Things were looking up. What you did Rose was horrible," he sighed, before rubbing his forehead with frustration.

"Nick, I'm so sorry and I know that won't ever make a difference. I do care about you and I hate how I hurt you," I said, "I just wish things had gone differently. This isn't what I wanted."

"It's done now, we can't go back in the past. I just want the best for you, Rose. I really do. I hope you find whatever you're looking for. It's just a shame you couldn't find it with me. Just look after yourself," he responded, before handing over the hardcopy book he had in his hands over to me. "You're an incredible writer, never stop chasing those dreams," he added, with a weak smile before turning on his heel and heading out of the book maze.

I watched with sadness as the man I once loved walked away, walked out of my life. And never took a glance back.

Sighing to myself gently, I caressed the cover of my book before opening it to flicker through the pages. I stopped suddenly as I caught glimpse of a handwritten note engraved within the second cover page. I instantly recognised the handwriting. I held my breath, stunned and even more so upset, as I read the endearing message that was before me.

'Rose, I'll always love you. I'll always cherish our moments together. You're my first love and always will be. I'm so proud of what you've accomplished. I hope you find what you're looking for. Go chase your dreams,

Love Nick.'

How could I let him slip away? A good and honest man. I am monster. Even in the wrong, he treats me with respect, love and support. I never deserved that man.

Two years later...

It was a calm and peaceful day. The blue ocean gently lapped across the sides of the boat. The sun shone down and there was a group of seagulls flying overhead. I smiled to myself as I sat down on one of the deck chairs, with my journal and pen in hand, ready to write down my thoughts.

Things had changed so much. I was a single thirty-year-old, two years running but happy and enjoying life. I had travelled the world, hooked up with handsome strangers, danced on top of bar table counters drunk out my mind, climbed a mountain and wrote another two books or so. I had never felt so free, so powerful, so in my element. I had learnt to love myself. I felt unstoppable.

I had heard Nick was married again. A quick Facebook search and my ex had married an Australian woman he'd met on a hiking trip and they were expecting their first child. He looked so happy. And I couldn't have been happier for him. As for Shane, I hadn't messaged or heard from him since I ended our short relationship. I had also moved out of mine and Nick's old house and took sanctuary in New York city, grabbing a beautiful apartment. Nor had I heard from Angie but from what I could tell, she was doing brilliant, she was on her second best-seller children's book and had another child on the way. Things were looking up for the people I cared about. And they deserved it after all the shit I had put them through.

I sighed gently, smiling as I looked out into the ocean. This must have been my fourth trip this year travelling to exotic holiday destinations, enjoying my own company. Being single, being alone had taught me the power of my own company. I didn't need anyone to be happy. I could make myself happy. If anything, love was only a bonus.

"Excuse me," a voice interjected.

I looked up, dazzled by the smile of a handsome stranger.

"Is that seat taken?" he asked, his eyes hinting at the deck chair adjacent to mine.

"Nope, feel free," I smiled.

"Great," the stranger said, gently sitting down before offering a hand. "I'm Derek, nice to meet you."

"Rose, nice to meet you," I replied, a tinge of warmth embracing my cheeks.

"Well, Rose, I'd like to get to know your story," he said, warmly smiling back.

And as I say, there's no pressure. I'm not looking for love. I'm living my life growing to become the person I've always wanted to be. I'm letting the real me shine through. Who knows what will happen?

I'm just now starting to write my story...

THANK YOU FOR READING! HOPE YOU ENJOYED 'THE LOVE AFFAIR'! IF YOU ENJOYED, PLEASE VOTE, COMMENT AND SHARE! 

ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!