Three days had passed since she walked foot into that room. Her chest tightened as the memory of what took place there began to replay like a bad book she read. She was beyond naïve to think her prayers would be heard that night. No amount of praying to the Ancestors would have kept him there. He held on in his sleep for one more night then was gone within his dreams by the next morning. He didn't suffer any more pain so she had to be thankful for at least that much, but the stinging pain in her chest was still there every time she remembered she couldn't save him. She pictured him walking down the hallway of the school months before they came to Mossa his face would light up once he laid eyes on her and he would always say,

"Hey Lo, the sun can't shine without you today. You have to smile to make the weather good."

The line was so lame, but it always made her laugh. That confidence that surrounded him made anything he said or did cooler. She stared at the door and gripped at her chest after she realized he was truly gone, forever. Opening the doors, she looked over at the bed; they shared their final kiss there. She walked around the room and made her way to the bed then traced the bed frame with her fingers. Maids must have been up all-night cleaning up the blood that was spilled everywhere.

That morning she heard she had to go back to Ay Su soon with Robert and let Jensek and Giddens know of what happened. While they could send the message by letter or holophone, Loraz felt news like that deserved to be told in person. When she thought of how Jensek would blame her for Vestin's death, she sighed. He would blame himself for not going with him. Then blame the Ancestors for letting him die in so much pain. A large buffet of random sweets would have to be prepared for the reunion. Bad news was best told over something sweet. She wondered if Vestin had liked zinger cakes and if Jensek would honor Vestin's wish and take his place as her second. It would probably take him some time to give a clear answer. Their relationship wasn't the best although they both found a bit of respect for each other after she found out that he was in love with Vestin. They even shared some tea together and listened to each other's worries as they made plans on how to bring Vestin back to them. The last she saw him was the day she had sent him back to Ay Su with the excuse of protecting Giddens from any assassination attempts. The notion was silly, but she couldn't let Jensek stay by her side after the loss of her child. He knew of the possibility of it having been Vestin's. She would eventually have to let Robert know that she needed more time to think over her feelings. It was selfish of her to ask him for such a thing, but it was only fair to everyone involved. She would have to step away from love for a brief period to let herself and Robert heal.

After Robert managed to bring him to safety, she wondered how he was still alive. It was probably no more than mercy given by the Ancestors for him to say his final goodbye. The thought of him still standing right beside her and smiling made her burst into tears. To lose something else so precious to her. If she had told him of the pregnancy before he left, would he have stayed, she wondered. At that time, it was too early for her to know for sure if she were, but just mentioning the possibility would have kept him alive.

"You stupid fool...said you would always be here...we told you it was only trap. Yet you still went to rescue him...take care of the baby for us."

It would be hard to move forward without him around. She had lost him once before as a child but the thought of them meeting again always filled her mind. This time her loss was permanent; she had to face the future with her head held high. The fact that she still had a war to win and her people to free couldn't be overshadowed by his death, the death of her child, and a love triangle. He would have scolded her for letting herself get so depressed over him. She could stand next to her giving a lecture while trying to cheer her up. Her eyes looked over the last place he slept, and she teared up again as she remembered his mangled body covered in blood. They tried so hard to keep her from entering the room that night, but she had to see him. The twisted feeling that grew in her stomach into her chest as Robert told her the news urged her to move.

"Why give yourself up for my sake...you burden me with your words even in death."

As she cried, she felt a hand fixing her hair and looked up to see Robert standing over her. Her eyes red like a crimson moon she stared into his and sobbed. He was too good to her after all that she had put him through, why did he still love her so much.

"You must be blinded by me to keep coming to my side."

"I told you long before that I would wait for your heart to be mine."

"How is it you already know what is about to happen before it does?"

"I know that your heart still lives in Vestin. It always will, he will always be a part of what makes you, you. It doesn't take much to figure out what will happen next."

"Robert, I am so sorry."

"Don't be, I know you love me as well. That your love for me is just as real as your love for Vestin."

"We need time to heal. I know it hurts you more than you let on that my heart isn't completely yours. Once I have freed my kingdom and made the person responsible for so many deaths pay, I will give you my answer."

Robert used the back of his hand to brush away the tears from her eyes.

"It is a sad day, but we mustn't lose ourselves in sorrow. Come, we still have much to plan. You want to avenge his death along with the others? Then let us gather as many allies as we can. Or we can postpone the meeting we have with the counsel if you are not ready."

She looked back at the bed and saw all the smiling faces of the men who Vestin led. Her fist clenched tight as she bit her lip, tears still in her eyes.

"He will pay for this, Robert. I will have his heart ripped from chest while he still breathes and watches as the lights in his eyes fade. His death will be more painful than Vestin's." She looked over at him and took hold of his hand, "His cries will be heard from miles. I will make sure that all who follow him with devotion understand the penalty of making me their enemy. They stole valuable lives that I cared for deeply. They torment people who do not have their same values. I plan to return this favor. In the name of the live that have suffered I promise this, he will die by my hands."

Robert yanked her into him and kissed her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him tightly. Then pulled away and rested his forehead onto hers.

"We must not sink to his level. He will get what he deserves, this is my promise to you. Do not let him darken your heart, that is what he wants. You are a pure soul, Loraz. The Ancestors saved you from death so that you may free your people. Don't lose sight of that. Your people want justice and you will be the heroine they so desperately prayed to the Ancestors for."

"I already miss him so much, Robert. I am sorry for being in such a state."

Robert kissed her forehead and pulled her into his chest.

"I may not want to admit it, but he held a big space in your heart. Not only because you loved him, but because you also cherished your friendship with him. Part of me believes that because you didn't want to ever lose him you chose me over him."

She grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him into her. Her face buried into his chest she wept uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry..."

Robert stroked her head and let out a heavy sigh.

"Don't apologize, Loraz. I know you genuinely love me. Our feelings are mutual...I told you before I will wait for you. I know Vestin will always have a place in your heart and I won't ask you to forget him. That would be disrespectful to his memory and to the bond that you both shared. I just ask that you don't distance yourself from me. We will take this time to heal as you have suggested, but know my heart will always beat for you and you alone."

She clung to him as his words sank in. He could always see right through her. She valued Vestin so much that when they became intimate that one time and the fear of losing him took over ,she told him to act like it never happened and continue as friends. At the same time she did have feelings for Robert and chose to act on those feelings. She wasn't sure when she started to develop those feelings, but him leaving her in Ay Su and returning to Mossca made her understand that she did want to be close to him. That he was no longer a brother, but someone she wanted more from. The feeling was still there and stronger than ever. It wasn't only friendship that kept her with him, it was something more. It would take time for everything to fall into place, with Robert by her side and the memory of the ones she lost she would regain her title as Queen of Serenity.