Nya POV ~
I woke up to a nurse standing next to my bed taking notes. I then looked over to see Jay snuggled up against me, holding me in his arms.

"Oh hello, I didnt see you awake. I just came in to take some notes but since your awake, I  wanted to ask you if you still want to take the surgery that you have scheduled for today" the nurse stated.

"umm..." I thought to myself.

"uh, y-yeah sure" I stuttered 

"ok, well we will come tell you when we are ready to start the surgery" The nurse stated as she walked out of the room.

I shook my head in disbelief that I was actually getting surgery. 'It was so stupid of me to cut myself last night, over just a dream? How pathetic I am' I thought to myself. I looked over at Jay to see him soundly asleep, hugging me as if I were his pillow. I smiled and started cuddling with him. I guess he noticed cause he tightened his grip around my waist and dug his face into my hair. I giggled while I kissed his forehead and closed my eyes.

A Few Hours Later ~ 

I again woke up but when I looked over, I didn't see Jay in bed. I frowned and sat up on my bed. I then took out my phone to see a text from Jay saying...

'good morning baby, I went to the café to get us some breakfast. I should be back soon, Luv u :)'

I smiled and then I went to look at my other notification's. When I looked, there was 23 text messages from our team's group chat saying 'we luv u Nya, stay strong', 'good luck with your surgery today', and 'we are always here for you, good luck today:)'. I put my phone down and leaned back on my bed roughly. I started to just stare at the ceiling for what felt like hours until I heard my door open. I looked over at the door to find Jay carrying in 2  boxes of food.

"Mmm.." I stated as I closed my eyes and smelled bacon and eggs.

"I thought you might be hungry so I went to go get food, and plus the nurse said you should eat now because you won't be eating in awhile after the surgery" Jay stated as he set my box of food on my lap. He then crawled in bed with me and we started to eat together and watch TV.

Kai POV ~ 

After what had happened last night, I didn't know what to think or do. So I went and told Lloyd everything that has happened with Nya and Jay. When I told him, he had tears in his eyes. I then hugged him while he continued to cry onto my shoulder. I didn't want to tell anyone about them but I don't know how to help them. After Lloyd was done crying, we started to talk on ways we could help them like they could stay at mine or Lloyd's house for a little bit and talk or take a break. 

"I cant believe how blind I was, why didn't I notice this before. We should have dealt with this when we caught Jay cutting himself." Lloyd stated while he ran his hand through his hair.

"hey its not your fault, no one could have noticed that they were feeling like this" I stated looking down at the ground. Lloyd then got up with attitude and started to swing at the wall.

"Lloyd WTF are you doing" I stated while I stood up and went to go stop Lloyd. He then took a minute to process what he had just done.

"OMG I am so sorry Kai, I don't know what came over me." Lloyd stated while he hugged me.

"its ok to be angry, just don't let the anger control you." I stated while rubbing his back.

Jay POV ~ 

Me and Nya had finished breakfast and then Nya took a short nap. When she was napping, there was a knock a he door. I then saw the nurse walking in.

"Jay Walker, may I speak with you in private please" the nurse stated as she pointed towards the hallway. I nodded as I got up and followed the nurse outside the room.

"I would like to talk about some 'stuff' before we start surgery" the nurse stated.

"okay?" I questioned. 

"I would like to ask if Nya has had any past experiences with suicide or suicide thoughts"

"y-yes..."

"ok, has she ever done self-harm before?"

"yes..."

"ok, and is there any other people in yours or her family that do self-harm or drugs"

"I-I actually cut t-too" I said in a stutter.  

"oh... ok and um, have you ever had any suicidal thoughts or attempts"

"y-yes, I have/had thoughts and attempts before"

"ok, and do you think that you or Nya will ever cut again? We need to know so we know the possible safety risk your future family will have"

" .... "

"I... I don't know" I stated looking down at my feet while fidgeting with my fingers. I then saw the nurse write down a few things on her clip-board.

"ok, thank you and we should be starting surgery pretty soon" the nurse stated as she walked away to her desk.

I then walked back into the hospital room to see Nya still napping. I  smiled while I walked over to her bed. I put a strand of hair that was in her face behind her ear and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. I then texted Kai, telling him that surgery would start soon.

I feel really bad for what went down yesterday in the bathroom with me and Kai. I feel like he might not trust me with Nya anymore. But he was right, we are not OK and we do need help. I just hate to admit that something is wrong with me and I let Nya down. I then got a text from kai saying he will be here in 30 minutes. I then sat down on a chair and watched Nya peacefully sleep.

Words: 1026( not my best lmao) 

I should really stop posting late chapters cause again, it's 12 AM and I'm tired yet I want to keep typing. Lmao.

Personal background about me ~

So if you are wondering why I post a lot of suicidal things that include depression or anxiety is because I have anxiety and depression. So everything I write/type about is how I truly feel. If you are wondering, yes I did cut myself multiple times before my parents found out. It was mostly because of stress and my anxiety, but as the school year went on, I found myself getting more depressed everyday. All I wanted was to be alone and not be around my friends but then there's another side of me that really wants to spend time with everyone. I do get help from my therapist but I don't really tell her everything. I guess I don't want to share my personal life with her but if I don't, then what's the point of having one.

So I have therapy on Tuesday and I'm planning on telling her everything about how I feel, how anxious I am around people and ect... But please don't worry about me, I'll be fine. But please feel free to comment about anything, I'm always up for a talk. If you want to talk about something personal, then feel free to text me on wattpad or...

follow my Instagram account @KaylaSeavey_99 (this is a private account so please tell me that you are from wattpad or a fan and I will accept you). 

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