A/N: Not sure where this came from...but once I had thought of this, I couldn't rest until I actually wrote it down. I think the upcoming Mother's Day-my first since I lost my Mum-has got me thinking about death...

I recommend lots of tissues. And yes, there are deaths in here.

Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon. Rights remain with Cressida Cowell and Dreamworks.

One: Loss

Hiccup hated it when Astrid was giving birth. Even though he was a Viking Chief, respected and honoured by his Tribe and their allies, he was still a man who loved his wife with all his heart and seeing the woman he adored screaming in pain tore his heart as nothing else could. What made it worse was that Zephyr was now eleven and Nuffink nine, meaning Astrid was old to be going through the ordeal of childbirth more.

Hiccup and Astrid were thirty-five, middle aged for Vikings and Hiccup had been Chief for fifteen years since the death of his father, the great Chief Stoick the Vast. Under his leadership, New Berk-which people were now just referring to as 'Berk'-had grown and expanded, forging alliances with numerous other islands and Tribes. Berkians were powerful and innovative, the village well supplied with every possible invention to make life easier and more efficient. The sky docks lowered ships to the sea far below and every house was warm and weather-proof. Trade flowed in and out of the island and her allies looked to Berk's wise and measured Chief for leadership.

The pregnancy had caught both by surprise and after the initial shock, Astrid and Hiccup had be delighted, though anxious. Though she was healthy and fit, Astrid's previous births had been a struggle and Hiccup immediately blamed himself for not being more careful. But his wife had rested her hand against his cheek and stared into his worried emerald eyes.

"It's okay, Babe," she murmured, her lips tilted in a small smile. "This is a gift from Freya. This little one was meant to be. She's going to be very special." He gave a small chuckle.

"It could be a boy?" he suggested as she socked him in the shoulder, the fist impacting hard on his leather-clad arm.

"Which one of us carries the babies, Hiccup?" she asked dryly. "This one feels just like Zeph. Exactly. It's a girl, Babe-you're gonna be outnumbered." He grinned then, wrapping his arms gently around her slender shape and pressing a tender kiss to her lips.

"And I couldn't be happier," he told her. "As long as you and the baby are healthy, I couldn't care what she or he is." Her hand rose and trailed gently through his beard, always neatly trimmed and she smiled.

"I'm healthy and fit, even though I am older than the usual Mom," she reminded him. Her blue eyes twinkled and her hair cascaded in its braids down her back. "I should be fine. I'll just rest more at the end of the pregnancy." But Hiccup was worried-because Gothi, the elder and healer of the village, had died in the very severe winter two years earlier. The little old woman had sixty years of experience and her successor was a much younger woman with far less experience and only Gothi's almost illegible books and tutelage to guide her. He would have been far more relaxed if the hunched and ornery Elder had still been alive to watch over his wife, to use her skills to ensure his wife and child came through the ordeal safely. Now, he could only pray that Brenna was up to the task.

The village had been overjoyed at the news and the Chief and Chieftess had been showered with good wishes. Both were very popular, always in the thick of things and never shirking any duty, whether it was dealing with paperwork or treaties or helping unload the fishing boats when they came in, the nets bursting with cod. Hiccup was wise and fair, always listening to any dispute and ruling with an even hand while Astrid was a great trainer for the youngsters and teens, her tactical sense and skills with weapons recognised by all. Everyone recalled that they were the leaders of the village, back when they were Dragon Riders, when Hiccup had proved his worth and won the heart of the beautiful and ferocious Shield Maiden who would become his wife. And everyone was praying for a safe delivery of the couple's third child.

Labour had come on earlier that day, the contractions mainly in Astrid's back and she had been restless, snappish and clearly very afraid. Hiccup had asked Snotlout to keep an eye on the village and he had spent the time at Astrid's side, keeping her company and tending to her wishes. The Healer wanted him to wait outside but Astrid had yelled at her and insisted her husband was with her, even heading off to try to locate her axe, which Hiccup had hidden from the angry and scared warrior. Taking her hands, he had held her, feeling her body tense as another contraction rippled through her.

"I'm here for you, Milady," he murmured.

"Don't you go anywhere, Babe," she told him firmly. "Are the children okay?"

"Aunt Ruff and Uncle Fishlegs have them," he assured her and she chuckled.

"Thor, they'll both have tattoos and be worshipping Loki by the time we get them back," she murmured and then her voice stopped, her teeth gritting as another contraction tore through her.

"Zeph and Nuffink are far too sensible," he reassured her, his hands stroking her back soothingly. "Besides, Fishlegs will make sure they don't end up doing anything insane. They're in good hands." She buried her face in his chest.

"If anything happens, promise me you will love the little one?" she asked him. He tightened his arms around her, every fear crashing around him and freezing his heart.

"We'll love her," he assured her.

"Hiccup-you know what I am asking," she murmured. He nodded and kissed the top of her head.

"And I am ignoring it because it won't happen," he told her stubbornly.

"Hiccup-I need to hear you say the words," she murmured. "Please-this is very important."

"My love-of course I will love the baby as I do our other children," he promised her. "And you will be there to love them with me." She nuzzled against him.

"Of course," she said and paused, her breathing growing deeper as another contraction squeezed her slender shape. "I need to walk around."

"Whatever you need," he said, watching her walk slowly across the room towards the fire and back, the light of the flames gilding her golden hair and pale face. A hand resting on her back, she turned to him, smiling, the thin shift draped over her slender shape.

"It's okay," she said-and then her waters broke.

Brenna and her apprentice were called back in and they took over, pushing Hiccup aside and leading the expectant mother to the bed prepared by the fire, the furs heaped high and cushions ready to support her during the birth. Seeing Astrid's blue eyes widen with a plea, he surged forward, grasping her outstretched hand and feeling her clamp to him as her only anchor in the storm. So she had leaned back against him, her hand crushing his and screaming and grunting as instinct took over. Astrid was the strongest and bravest person Hiccup knew-and she was terrified. And he would rather have been flying on Toothless, facing Outcasts, Berserkers, Hunters, Trappers or even Drago's army. He would even have preferred Grimmel to the vision in front of him, his beloved wife screaming in the torment of childbirth. And this birth was far harder than anything he had ever seen and for four hours, she had toiled and screamed and panted as the increasingly frantic midwives urged her and chanted and prayed to the Gods to allow this birth to succeed. And finally, Astrid had managed to give birth to a bonny child.

The final scream died away and Astrid's panting breaths were the only sound. Brenna and Frida, her assistant, were bending low, holding the child and frantically shaking and rubbing the purplish shape and Astrid leaned forward, her sweat-beaded face filled with fear.

"Is she...?" she asked, unable to mouth the words. But the midwife looked up.

"She's shocked," she reported. "Very shocked." Hiccup peered over her shoulder and saw a damp newborn, the natal cord still attached to her middle, her big eyes wide and staring up to meet his shocked emerald gaze. But then Astrid extended her arms.

"Give me," she demanded, no hesitation in her voice.

"She..."

"GIVE!" the Chieftess demanded in her exhausted voice and the young healer handed the child over, wrapped in a simple blanket as she and her healer apprentice turned to the damage. Astrid felt the heavy bundle squirm in her arms, seeing a chunky child with wide blue eyes and a tuft of damp blonde hair. She looked up into Hiccup's shocked and adoring eyes with triumph. "There," she said proudly. "Girl. Told you."

"I never doubted you, Milady," he told her in an awed voice. "She is beautiful-just like her Mom." She smiled and leaned back against him, shifting the bundle in her arms and hearing the faintest mew as the baby took a shuddering breath and then gave an angry cry. A wave of relief washed through Hiccup at the sound, confirming the child was strong and alive.

"She's perfect," she sighed as the healers urgently changed the blankets and muttered among themselves. Pressing a soft kiss on the damp head, Astrid smiled and lay back, allowing the attendants to clean her up and concentrating on her husband and her new daughter.

"She's part of you so of course she is," he told her gently. "You get some rest and I'll go get Zeph and Nuffink..." But her hand clamped around his and she looked up, her eyes wide with a plea.

"Stay with me for now-please?" she asked softly. There was a quiet plea there, a vulnerability that she hardly ever revealed and he felt his heart melt. Nodding, he leaned forward to kiss her-and then he shifted his position and sat comfortably at the top of the bed with Astrid resting back against his chest. Quietly, he wrapped his arms around his wife and youngest child and rested his chin on the top of her head.

"I love you," he murmured gently. "The kids will love her as well."

"Love you too," Astrid said sleepily. Her eyelids fluttered and he bent forward to kiss her.

"Rest, my love," he said. "You've earned it. I'm here with you. I'll never leave you."

Brenna and Frida changed the sheets against and again and Astrid didn't budge, remaining quietly resting back against her husband. The bleeding was horrendous, the damage from the birth compounded by a steady flow from higher up. Gothi's notes were obscure and all Brenna could do was what she had been taught and tried with others, binding the young woman's legs together to try to slow the loss. But after an hour, the young assistant looked up in relief.

"The bleeding has stopped," she reported and Brenna frowned, then looked up. And her breath froze as she saw the Chief, bowed forward, his arms around his wife and new child. Astrid's lips were white, her face pallid and slack in repose. And her chest didn't rise and fall any more. Tears were flowing down the Chief's face, dropping in small splashes onto her stained shift, a hand carding through her long golden hair.

"It's okay, Astrid," he whispered. "I'll look after her. I'll look after them all. I'll never leave you." He gave a small sob. "There will always be a Hiccup and Astrid. Always."

But as sobs tore through his bowed shape cradling the body of his wife and the child she had given her life to bring into the world. Brenna knew that she would need to urgently find a wet nurse for the new child. And do everything within her power and that of the Tribe to help the Chief raise his children alone.

oOo

A dumpy and plain woman with two huge braided knots at the side of her head came over and took the child from Hiccup's unresisting arms. The little girl was howling in hunger as the Healers cleaned and laid out the body of her mother and the woman took her to one side and expertly began to feed her. Turning back to Astrid, Hiccup felt his heart shatter once more. Apart from her pallor, the deep shadows under her eyes and her white lips, she looked as beautiful as ever. They brushed out her long golden hair, composed her and dressed her in a long white dress that Hiccup pulled from the chest, realising too late that it was her wedding gown. He nodded.

"It's okay," he murmured, his eyes red and face haunted. And then he rose. "Can you stay with her, please? I don't want her to be alone and I need to speak to the village and let them know what has happened." And then he rose, pulling back his shoulders and absently palming his face dry, before walking to the door.

"Chief?" Healer Brenna called and he turned. "I'm sorry. I did all I could..." And he nodded, his eyes unfocused.

"I know," he said. "That is all you can do. Thank you for everything." And then he grabbed his cloak and pulled it on, before walking out of the door-to find a crowd of villagers waiting eagerly for news.

"It's the Chief!" a voice called from the crowd and Hiccup nodded, raising his hands to quiet them down. If they noticed he wasn't smiling and joyful, no one said anything.

"I have a new daughter," he said clearly so that they could all hear. "A fine bonny girl."

"Not a Hiccup then!" Vaguely, he recognised Snotlout's voice and he shook his head at the ripple of laughter.

"No," he murmured. Then he looked up. "The birth was complicated and though the Healers tried all in their power, the Chieftess has died. Astrid has died."

His voice cracked.

"Astrid h-has d-died..." he repeated and covered his eyes.

There was silence. And then four shapes detached from the throng, moving forward with unerring timing and clustering around the Chief. The twins moved to each side of him and wrapped their arms around him, not even bothering to announce a Thorston sandwich as they hugged him, feeling the sobs ripping through him. Fishlegs and Snotlout turned to the village.

"Give him a little time, guys?" the husky blond man asked, resting a hand on his friend's shoulder. Snotlout came in from the other side, gripping Hiccup's shoulder.

"We got this, cuz," he said quietly and looked over at the others.

"Come over to our house," Fishlegs said, watching the twins release Hiccup and each take an arm, leading the bowed figure down the hill towards the sturdy Ingerman house. The wind was icy and it was beginning to rain, causing the few remaining Berkians to head for shelter. The patrol were heading for the cliffs to scan the horizon and the torches were being lit but tonight would be a quiet night as a mantle of sorrow settled on the village, all stunned at losing their beloved Chieftess. Hiccup suddenly looked up and fought.

"Astrid..." he murmured but Ruffnut squeezed his arm.

"She's fine," she said gently. "She's resting."

"The baby..." Snotlout looked up and then nodded.

"I'll tell the wet nurse where to bring her," he promised and ran off, Hiccup allowed himself to be steered into the brightly decorated house, Gronckle and Zippleback motifs painted and carved all over the front of the house. Fishlegs pushed open the door and a wall of noise met them. The house was warm, there was the smell of meat roasting over the fire and kids were yelling at the top of their voices. Fishlegs and Ruffnut's five children-Rufflegs, Fishnut, Thor, Meatnut and Skye-were racing around with Hiccup and Astrid's daughter Zephyr and son Nuffink. The raucous game was so loud they didn't immediately notice when the adults arrived, though the thirteen year old twins, Rufflegs and Fishnut-shared a look and yelled at the top of their voices.

"PARENTS!"

Instantly, the kids turned to see the new arrivals.

"Uncle Tuff!"

"Uncle Snot!"

"Uncle Hiccup!"

There was a pause as Zephyr and Nuffink surged forward. Zephyr was the firstborn, a serious and determined young woman with dark auburn hair like her father and the bright blue eyes of her mother, the sight of which stabbed painfully into Hiccup's broken heart. She was slender and strong, trained by her mother from the moment she could lift an axe and absolutely as stubborn as both her parents combined. Nuffink was almost as tall as she was, with dark gold hair and thoughtful green eyes. He was as smart as his father, already allowed to do simple tasks in the Forge and taking sailing lessons from his father and Uncle. Both were sensitive and could read situations and people well-and their father's expression instantly brought them to his side.

"Dad?" Zephyr's voice was clear and echoed her mother's inflection. "What's wrong?" Quietly, he pulled away from his friends and dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around his children. Both suddenly looked scared, for Hiccup's green eyes were no longer smiling and happy: in fact, they looked desolate and lost.

"Is it the baby?" Fink asked hesitantly but Hiccup shook his head.

"You have a little sister," he revealed.

"Mom was right," Zeph said with a frown. "She usually is." Then she looked into her father's face. "Dad?"

"There was a problem," he began haltingly. "The baby was fine but Mom...she didn't make it."

There was a pause. The children weren't strangers to death for the years had reaped a toll through the older Tribe members. Their grandmother Valka had passed the previous winter and the Elder the year before. Gobber had passed in his sleep when Zephyr was three and Astrid's father had died three years earlier. The children blinked and eyes shone with tears.

"Mom," Fink murmured and threw himself against his father with Zeph a second behind. Wrapping his arms around them, Hiccup squeezed them tight in his arms, tears streaking his face and feeling them sob in utter devastation. Somehow, sharing his grief with these two young people-the results of his union with Astrid, the children they created-made him feel less alone. He tightened his grasp around them, careful not to crush them as he had been so many times by his own enormous father, and nuzzled their heads.

"It will be okay," he murmured, though he didn't believe it. "I am here-and so are your Uncles and Aunts. Grammy is around as well. Your Mom loved you with her everything...and she loved the baby so much she had to give her life so she could be born. So we have to look after her as well. Can you help me do that?"

Slowly, two heads lifted and tear-streaked cheeks shone in the firelight. Both nodded and they swallowed. Fink wiped his nose on his sleeve while Zeph sniffed a few times. Slowly, Hiccup levered himself to his feet, wincing at the pressure through his stump. He knew he would never again have to hide his pains from Astrid-though she read him so well anyway he may as well not have bothered. He grimaced and then limped over to the big chair, looking askance from Fishlegs, who smiled and allowed his friend and Chief to take his seat by the fire. Sitting back with a sigh, he felt his children clamber into his lap, arms winding around his chest and kids snuggling into his grasp. He felt tired and numb inside and was just where he needed to be, with his now-motherless children. Gently, he kissed their heads.

The door opened and the plain woman-Gudrun Yakson-entered with Snotlout, a swaddled bundle in her arms. She nodded.

"Fed as good as gold, Chief," she reported. "I'll arrange to sleep where she is to make sure the poor little mite doesn't go hungry." Hiccup nodded, feeling strangely ambivalent. He had felt an immense surge of love for the child when she had been born but what would he feel-what should he feel now that his beloved Astrid was gone because she had given birth to this child?

Love her for us both, Babe. You have to make sure she never wants for anything. And you know what it is like to grow up without a mother and a largely-absent father. I know I can trust you not to make the same mistakes. You are a fantastic father, a loving, caring and funny man who adores his children. I know she will be in good hands.

He blinked: he could hear Astrid's voice so clearly in his mind and he looked up at the woman.

"Could I have my daughter please?" he asked. "And thank you-I know Astrid would be so grateful you are feeding her daughter." The woman blushed.

"I got plenty to spare and it's an honour to help you, Chief. You never fail to help one of us when we need it, even before we ask. If you need anything off any one of the Tribe, we're here for you and your family." And she gently placed the bundle in his arms.

Hesitantly, he looked down into the peaceful face. The little girl was sleeping, securely snuggled in fleeces and blankets, a suitable rag wrapped as a diaper around her lower half. A tuft of bright blonde hair peeked out from under the blanket, little blonde eyelashes a shade darker than the hair. Hiccup already knew those eyes were a bright blue and though they could change later, his heart told him they would not. The baby had Astrid's button nose and determined chin and he felt his lips curl up in a smile, the surge of love still there. He should be numb but despite his utter desolation, this infant had latched onto his heart.

"She's cute," Fink commented.

"And now she's the little one-so you have to protect her and help me and Dad look after her," Zeph said.

"We will all look after her," Hiccup murmured, never taking his eyes off the sleeping baby. His throat felt clogged with grief and his chest was tight and every ounce of energy had been drained from his body but at least he had the kids to help him-and remind him of Astrid.

As if every second of every day and every inch of the village wouldn't do that.

"What are you going to call her?" Zephyr asked.

"After Grandma?" Fink asked. He had been close to Valka, Hiccup's mother who had been absent all his childhood and had only returned after twenty years away. But Hiccup shook his head.

"I know your Mom and I talked about it-but there is only one name that will do," he said. "She's to be named Astrid."