Chapter Eight 

Phil's POV

Words:

"Doesn't matter. That's why I shut myself off from everyone else. I know that no one would be a real friend, they'd only like me for my appearance or or something petty like attracting women. I prefer to be alone - it's easier that way." Dan sighed, rubbing stressed fingers over his temples.

"But if you're alone, how do you deal with the emotional pain?" I asked. He looked down at his lap, sadness pooled in his eyes.

"I- I um ... usually curl into a ball in the corner if I'm being honest. Although I like to distract myself so I don't have to think about it. The nights are the worst though." His voice was barely audible and I felt my heart clench with sympathy. The room went silent as the boy retracted into himself - the barrier threatening to shoot right up and block me out. I scrambled for a way to comfort him and bit my lip in anxiousness. Should I say it?  I hesitated - hoping he wouldn't turn me away.

"Y-you um ... you have me." My voice trailed off as my confidence wavered. Dan's eyes darted to meet mine and he pinned me in place - I held my breath and prepared myself for rejection; I'd become accustomed to it over the years. However instead of harsh words, his lips twitched upwards and he smiled at me. I could see his dimple cave in deeper and felt myself flush. Smiling back shyly, I turned my gaze to the floor before I stared at those dimples too long.

"Thanks Phil, you really are a great person. I'm so sorry about today, there was a misunderstanding and as you could see I was unnecessarily angry, but don't worry it doesn't mat-" 

"What was the misunderstanding?" I interjected, curious as to why he'd made my day hell. He looked at me and clamped his mouth shut as if locking the reason away from my prying eyes. What isn't he telling me? I continued to stare him down until he averted his eyes and stuttered a reply.

"I-It's nothing really, you don't-" 

"Dan!" I interrupted again, feeling a little exasperated. Clearly I had done something and I didn't want it to create a rift in our new friendship, especially when Dan's trust was so fragile. "What was it? I'd like to know. I can set things right - I promise I won't get angry or upset-"

"I said NO Phil." Dan hissed suddenly, a glare on his face. I froze in shock. Not five minutes ago we were laughing and happy but it's like a switch had been flipped. He came across cold and venomous, much like his attitude from earlier. I felt my own anger rise - I refused to put up with his excuses. I couldn't not know if he reacted like that - I hated it. The barrier was up full force and was shoving me away and I'd had enough of being pushed around in my life. I couldn't control just how angry his response made me and snapped. 

"NO! You tell me what I've done wrong that's made you act like this!" I saw him take a deep breath to try and calm himself but his answer was through gritted teeth.

"Just drop it Phil-"

"TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG!"

"NO!"

"WHY NOT?" I shouted.

"BECAUSE- you don't need to know." His voice got quieter as his throat caught;he rubbed his hand over his face in frustration. I huffed, almost grinding my teeth into the gum. I stood up straight and faced the mural - trying to focus on the calming image and deflate my anger. I hated secrets.

Dan made a stressed noise behind me but I didn't move an inch, hands clenched around my elbows. "Look Phil, we didn't come here to shout-"

"Then why don't you just tell me?" I pushed and whipped to face him again. He groaned and ran his hand through his hair. If I wasn't angry I would have noted that angry looked sexy on him - not that that was appropriate given the circumstances. I watched him with a cocked brow, waiting for his answer.

"It's not important." Was his calm reply.

"Well if it's not important then why is it such a big deal?" I sassed back. Dan frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. I mirrored him. "I'm not leaving until I get an answer." I protested stubbornly.

"Phil..." he whined, half playful and half out of annoyance. I winced at the realisation that Dan saying my name really did not help. I refused to let my brain wander to a different context.

"Guess I'll be here forever then ..." I sighed, and started to slowly walk round his room. I picked up little trinkets here and there, pretending to inspect them with unwavering interest. I glanced at Dan out of the corner of my eye and saw his scowl. Even that looked nice. Was there anything ugly about that boy? Apparently not.

"You're not getting a word out of me." He stated, a sense of finality in his words.

"Ok." I dismissed and flopped down on the bed. I got comfortable, putting both hands behind my head and closing my eyes. I revelled in the moments of silence before Dan broke it.

"What are you doing?" Dan asked, confused tone clear in my ears.

Dan's POV

I watched him carefully as he walked around my room, looking around intently. I couldn't tell him - I'd have probably scared him away. Oh it's nothing, just got jealous when I saw you sucking faces with Anton, no big deal. My crush on the boy would have been obvious as day and:

1) I wasn't prepared to have my heart broken again
2) I didn't want to scare him away and ruin our newfound friendship - he was different to everyone else. Good different.

"Guess I'll be here forever then ..." He sighed, pretending to study my room. I scowled, even though the thought of Phil never leaving my side had its own appeal, his stubbornness was turning out to be challenging to handle. I refused to let slip my secret.

"You're not getting a word out of me." I stated with finality - he had to know I was serious about keeping my mouth shut no matter what he did.

"Ok." He shrugged and flopped down on my bed, putting both hands behind his head and closing his eyes. Surprised at his sudden acceptance, I raised an eyebrow at him pondering his motives. I got slightly distracted by the sliver of pale stomach revealed by his shirt but I blushed and turned my eyes back to his face - eyes thankfully still shut.

"What are you doing?" I asked in confusion.

"What do you mean?" He asked innocently, batting his blue eyes at me. I chewed my tongue in frustration - why did he pull out the puppy dog eyes. That's not fair.

"I mean what are you doing on my bed? You're not going to sleep are you?" I asked frowning further. He looked at me and grinned, tongue slipping out the corner of his lips, my heart picked up at the scene. Being that adorable should be illegal.

"Oh this? This is called blackmail." He chuckled.

"Blackmail?" I repeated skeptically and smirked a little.

"Yeah, I'll leave when you spill." He smiled, I rolled my eyes and got up, towering over his lazy form.

"Well looks like you'll die in here." I smirked triumphantly. He pouted, and I bit my lip. I didn't like how it was hard to restrain myself from little actions like that. I liked being in control - I didn't want to have to stop myself from jumping the boy and kissing him raw. Phil really was exhausting to be around. He then shrugged and lay back, getting snuggled up in my pillows. STOP BEING SO ADORABLE.

"Then die I shall." He said dramatically, going limp in the sheets.

"Phil ..." I groaned and crawled over to him. His eyes flashed open and he gazed up nervously as I sat on his thighs. I smiled sweetly at him before flashing an evil grin. I let my hands dance across his ribs and he let out a shriek as I began tickling him.

"AAAAH! NO STOP IT! DAAAAAAN! STOP!" He screamed, desperately trying to push me off in between giggles. His cute laughing made me laugh in return. However it caught in my throat when he jumped slightly and kneed me in the crotch. I hissed, doubling over and rolling onto my side in defeat.

"Owch!" I breathed, eyes watering a little. I heard the telltales of laughter trying to escape the boy's lips and turned to see him red faced with a hand clasping his mouth. However some muffled giggles escaped. "Shut up." I chuckled as I recovered and grabbed a pillow. Just as he broke into fits of laughter I threw it at his face - hitting it with a satisfying thud. 

I burst into my own fit of laughter he peeled it from his face. He gave me a mischievous smile before I was being pelted and drowned in cushions. I retaliated until finally I swung at the perfect angle - causing the boy to tumble sideways of the bed. I barely had time to laugh in victory before he grabbed my shirt - pulling my down with him. 

"Oof!" I breathed, as the air was knocked out of my lungs and we lay there in a bruised heap on the floor. I looked up through my fringe only to stare into the close proximity of Phil's eyes. They were fixed on me and, although stunned, I realized I had fallen directly on top of the boy. We both panted from the sudden burst of adrenaline and in those few moments I was tempted to close the oh-so-small gap between our lips. Instead I quickly jumped to my feet so I didn't crush him further and offered him a hand.

Phil was a little pink in the face and tried to rationalise that it was because of the pillow fight. He let out a breath and feel back on the messed up bed. I watched the rise and fall of his chest before I realised and mentally scolded myself for ogling him

"Can you at least tell me one thing?" Phil asked, suddenly looking seriously at me. I hesitated and narrowed my eyes a little. 

"What?" I asked.

"Was it my fault? The misunderstanding?" He asked, looking sad. I immediately shook my head - wanting that the notion out of his head as soon as possible. It was my fault for rushing to conclusions. Even if I hadn't learnt the truth about Anton - he couldn't help who he liked and therefore could also not be blamed. 

"No Phil, don't worry. Like I said, I got things wrong and I'm sorry. I promise you, you don't need to know anything else, okay?" I pleaded. Phil hesitated for a moment before sighing and giving up. He nodded his head although the disappointment was almost tangible in the air. I tried to stave off my guilt. Why did I have to like Phil?

He's adorable.
He's gorgeous.
He's sexy.
He's perfect.
He's cute.
He's amazing.

Okay ... that's why. I internally sighed and watched as Phil continued to admire my room. Eventually he came across my piano, trailing his fingers over the keys. I felt a jolt of longing ... I'd love it if we could work out. I just hated the idea of being rejected once again, even if there was a possibility of being accepted. I didn't think my heart could take another blow so soon. However whenever I looked at his gorgeous face I found myself wanting to throw caution to the wind - to flirt and give him the love he deserved after all he'd been through. Said boy ended up breaking me from my thoughts.

"Hey Dan. Play me something?" Phil asked shyly, excitement gleaming in his eyes. I grinned and walked over, finding the keys naturally; I knew exactly what to play.

I let my fingers dance and the start of 'Sunburn' by Muse emitted from my piano. I smiled to myself, concentrating on my timing - careful not to mess up the chords. As it got near the verse I decided to get brave and started to quietly sing:

Come waste your millions here
Secretly she sneers
Another corporate show
A guilty conscience grows
I'll feel a guilty conscience grow
I'll feel a guilty conscience grow

She burns like the sun
And I can't look away
And she'll burn our horizons make no mistake

I glanced at Phil and he was watching with an excited smile - it made me feel warm. 

Come let the truth be shared
No-one ever dared
To break these endless lies
Secretly she cries

She burns like the sun
And I can't look away
And she'll burn our horizons make no mistake

I continued until the song was finished and then finally sat back to gauge Phil's reaction. He was grinning from ear to ear, causing me to grin myself. 

"That was beautiful Dan." He complimented and I felt my cheeks burn. 

"Thanks." I replied bashfully. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~HelloAnonymousWriter~