"Slow down there" Ghoul chuckles as i all but shovel the food down my throat, but i don't listen. Party's just come outside, his hair all but glowing the dim evening light as he walks towards the fire, looking undeniably good.

I don't want to have to engage in conversation with him though, so i'm making a mad dash to finish my food so i can make up some excuse to go get in the car already. I just want us all to get to The Battery so i can keep my distance from him. Tomorrow i can hopefully go get my bike back, and then this saga will be over.

Who am i kidding? How is this going to be over just because i'll be able to go home? I'm hardly going to be able to just forget about the guys, especially him, and i'll no doubt run into them even if i did try avoiding them. Look how good that plan turned out last time - i ended up running away from a detonating building and putting my life in their hands. Not so much 'keeping my distance' and more like running straight to them.

I can't change the past now though. Our lives have crossed, for better or for worse, and i'm going to have to deal with that as best as i can. I wish for the millionth time that Korse was dead and we could all live in peace, away from the threat of being killed every day just for standing up for what's right and not allowing ourselves to be brainwashed. Maybe then i could actually make an effort to get to know Party, maybe even return his flirty gestures. But no, i'm stuck in this mess of a world with dracs around every corner.

And yet none of that can seem to put me off wanting to get closer to him. What the hell is wrong with me? Or more importantly, what's so special about him that he gets into my mind when nobody else does?

"Done" I declare, setting down my empty can and jumping to my feet "Are you all ready to go or what?"

"Just finishing" Party says from the fire where he's almost done with his own can "you guys go ahead and get in the trans am, i'll be there in a sec."

"Fine, but i'm calling shotgun" i decide, knowing that Kobra has already been nominated to drive us there and back. I feel bad as i know he won't be able to drink, but then if it's his turn i'm not exactly going to offer to swap. I need a good few drinks after all that i've been through in these last few days. The fighting and the explosions are all things i'm use to, but not all the emotions. Now they're completely new.

I'm reasonably quiet in the car on the way there. I'm not cold though - i laugh at Jet and Ghoul's banter and when Kobra asks me what drink i think will give him the least hangover I eagerly dish out my advice.

Luckily Party is busy entertaining himself by flipping his gun on and off safety, not really paying much attention to what everyone else is saying. The annoying part is that a piece of me wants him to put down the gun and talk to me properly, although I try not to think too much about it.

I jump out the car the moment we arrive, and i'm the first down the spiral stairs. The place is pretty busy tonight, and i quickly spot Crash and another killjoy working hard behind the bar to dish out everyone's drinks. That's probably why they don't see me approach until i'm right up at the bar, the four killjoys standing around me.

"Spark!" Crash grins, quickly handing someone their drink before coming closer to our end of the bar "I was starting to worry about you! You've been awol for a couple of days now, and nobody seemed to have spotted you."

"You don't need to worry about me" i roll my eyes "I thought we'd already been over that?"

"I'm allowed to worry about you" he frowns before turning to the other killjoys "I see you made some friends then?"

"I guess you could say that" i have to resist rolling my eyes "These guys crashed my missing and to cut a long story short we ended up leaving my bike back in the city, so i'm stuck with them until they help me go get it back."

"You have been busy" he glances wearily at the new group of people heading towards the bar "Now, what drinks can i get you?"

A couple of shots later and i'm sitting at the bar, giggling at Ghoul as he tries to down one of the most disgusting cocktails Crash has ever seen created at the bar. His face is a contorted mixture of grimaces and gagging, which is amusing us all.

"Fucking hell" he groans, clutching his stomach "Someone get me a water."

"Here" A voice behind him makes us all turn around. I recognise Cyanide instantly by the green highlights in her hair as she hands Ghoul a glass of water. I don't miss the look that passes between them, and quickly remember that they have an on-off romance. By the way he looks up at her it's obvious they are very much on at the moment. This theory is proven when he sits down right next to him, a hand resting on his thigh.

"What the hell were you drinking?" she frowns, looking at the remaining murky orange drink that sits at the bottom of the shot glass like a gloopy mess.

"I wish i knew" he all but chirps, his groaning stomach long forgotten with her appearance. He scoots closer, wrapping an arm around her waist. She doesn't object, but in fact moves closer to him so that they're leaning against each other in a cute pose.

"I missed you baby' She chuckles, pushing the glass out of the way so she can kiss him properly. "Next time you go to the city you're taking me with you. Maybe then you won't always end up blowing the place sky high."

"Don't you start too" He protests "i killed a whole bunch of dracs and eliminated a big threat and yet everyone acts like it was a bad thing!"

"Probably because you nearly dusted us all in the process" I quip, my voice laced with sarcasm. Party chuckles from beside me, placing his own now nearly empty glass down on the counter as i speak. I already finished my own drink some time ago and am withholding the temptation of another one. I don't want to get too drunk as I know I'll probably end up doing some stupid or letting my guard down, but when Jet sets another glass down in front of me I can't help but pick it up and start to sip.

"Oh come on" Ghoul protest again "the only injury we had was a burn on Spark's hand."

"Luckily" Kobra smirks, looking a little like his brother when he does so "but it could've been a whole load worse."

"Well it wasn't" Ghoul turns back to Cyanide "end of story. Now why don't you tell me what you've been so busy with instead."

As Cyanide launches into a deep explanation of her latest errand run I finish my drink whole, feeling a little dizzy and giggly too. I don't normally allow myself to get drunk so now that I am it's a weird feeling for me to embrace. I'm not exactly hammered - just a little tipsy - but it's enough that I venture off towards the stairs, mentioning something about getting some fresh air to the others.

Party stares after me as I climb the stairs, but that just makes me move faster if anything. Unfortunately I can already feel the drink starting to make me a little emotional too now, and as much as I don't want to remember, I can feel my past creeping up on me.

Now that I'm outside I slump down near the car, resting my back against its side and staring up at the starry night sky. I'm biting my lip in an attempt to stop any tears as I think back, something I would never normally do.

"Come on" I yelled back into the burning flames. As soon as I open my mouth a load of smoke and ash enters it, making me choke and splutter over the sound of the roaring flames "Morgan come on!"

He struggled out of the flames then, his face covered in soot and what looked like a burn on his arm. In his arms he was carrying his old pet budgie, who he had purposely gone back into the burning bedroom for.

"Sorry" he croaked, grabbing my outstretched hand with his own dirty one, letting me pull him through the falling timbers. The heat was almost unbearable as it licked at our feet and caused sweat to pour out of us like water out a tap, but we kept going.

"I don't think-" he started to say.

"No, we can make this" I barked back, seeing the door come into focus in front of us. "Don't give up onto me. You're all I have left." The words were something I'd known for a long time but never admitted aloud until then. They seemed to work though, as he picked up the pace. The two of us barrelled through the door together, both of us immediately falling onto our hands on knees in the middle of the street, coughing up smoke as best as we could whilst Battery city burned around us, the rebels all fleeing for their lives as dracs burned house after house down. I looked around at the devastation  knowing in my heart that there was no way we could ever stay there.

"Come on" I rose shakily to my feet and ordered for Morgan to do the same.

"Where are we going?" He croaked as I lead him down the street, sticking to the shadows as a nearby building collapsed down to its foundations.

"Away from here" I answered with the only real fact I knew at the time.

"Spark?" My head snaps to the side to reveal Party crouching down beside me, concern etched across his features. When I don't say anything he sits down beside me, crossing his legs and leaning closer.

At first I don't know what he's doing, but then I feel his fingers wipe away the tears that I didn't even realise we're falling down my cheeks. I sniff and try to wipe them away myself, but he's already beaten me to it.

"I didn't hear you come out here" I mutter lamely, not sure how much of my little breakdown he saw. How loudly had I been crying? I must look like such a weakling to him like this, all tear stained and crumpled. This is not the image I like people to see of me.

"You looked like you might need someone to talk to" he shrugs. "Or even a hug. It's surprising how comforting they can be."

For once, I don't hesitate. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my head into the crook of his neck, holding back any more tears from coming out. He instantly hugs me back, his arms wrapped tightly around my shoulders with one hand resting on my spine. I hate to admit it, but it feels amazing to hug him, like I'm safe for once. Plus he smells pretty good for a killjoy who dives around in a sweaty desert all day.

"I'm sorry, I don't normally cry" I sniff.

"It's okay to be weak every once in a while" he mutters back, gently stroking my hair "especially when you've been through the sort of things you must have done to become a killjoy in the first place."

"I'm still not ready to tell you" I say quietly, knowing that he is giving me the opportunity to speak up if I want to.

"I know" he just sighs, his arms still wrapped around me. "But I'll be here when you are."

it's probably due to the alcohol, or the fact that i haven't hugged anyone in a really long time, but as we draw apart, our faces close together, i do the unthinkable. I lean in, closing my eyes as i do so, and kiss him. 

It's an incredibly stupid thing to do. I've been telling myself for ages to not to get emotionally attached to anyone or anything that could possibly be taken away from me or used against me by Korse and his brainwashed followers, and yet here i am kissing Party Poison. And i'm enjoying it too. Especially when he kisses me back, his hand moving to run through my hair. 

I shift so i'm fully sitting in his lap, curling up underneath him as we kiss. I've never really kissed anyone with so much passion before, so the experience is pretty new to me. I'm enjoying it though, that much i know, especially when his hands brush against my waist, gently resting on the skin between my t-shirt and jeans. 

It only probably lasts a few moments, but when i do pull away it feels like ages has flow by. 

"I'm sorry, i'm drunk right now" I manage to mumble, quickly pushing myself away from his lap and back onto the cold desert floor with a small thump. He stays rooted to the spot, looking like he is still trying to take in exactly what just happened.

"Spark-" he starts, but i cut him off. 

"I'm going back inside" i stumble to my feet, brushing some of the dust off of my knees before starting back towards The Battery. I resist the urge to look back at him, and instead hurry back down the stairs, cursing myself for what i've just done. 

________________________________________________________________________

They finally kissed :) I guess i kept you all waiting long enough

vote/comment/fan n' all that 

~ Headfirst for Helena