Aphmau's POV

*Play Song*

I stand at the very edge of Falcon Cliff, overlooking the long drop below.

Just looking down made me dizzy.

My tears outlined my face before falling to join the rushing rapids a hundred meters below.

My legs were shaking violently, the fear and potential regret burning it's way through my body.

My short sharp breathes echo throughout the air.

Was I sure on what I was doing?

Is this really what I want?

No it's not......

But I'm done...

I'm just done with everything life has thrown at me...

I am not strong.

I collapse every time the world tries to drag me under the harsh waves of life.

My friends may have brought me back up for air.....

But air isn't all that you need to survive.

If I'm gonna go anyway....

Might as well go....

The wind slightly sways me side to side, my dress flapping in the evening breeze.

As the sun starts to melt into the horizon, I close my eyes, the streams of my tears not even close to halting.

"I'm being careful Aaron..."

"I'm.....being...careful.." I whisper to the wind, spreading my arms out to the side.

Then, I slowly lean my body weight forward, gravity taking over my actions.

For that millisecond, for that one small moment, I felt free.

Then the following one, I felt overwhelming regret.

What have I done?

Just as my feet were leaving the solid ground, a strong arm swings around my waist and hoists me backwards, away from the cliff.

Then the strong arm pulls me closer to them, bringing me back to the solid ground.

We then land on the crunchy grass, our bodies colliding as I fell on my rescuer.

With my eyes still scrunched shut, I continue to sob silently.

"Aph?" I hear a familiar voice whisper.

This makes me sob even louder.

"Aph, please never ever do that again" He pleads calmly, his breathes sharp as well.

With my eyes still closed, I blindly, wrap my arms around him, crying into his blood red hoodie.

"Hey, hey it's okay, I'm here, I'm here"

"I'm here...."

"Aaron.....I'm sorry....I'm so so sorry..."

"Aph, you have nothing to be sorry for....I should be the one saying sorry"

"Huh?" I say, sniffling.

"I didn't notice that you were still suffering, I saw that you were sad and I was such a coward and did nothing.....I didn't see you dying on the inside.."

"Aaron it's okay now, I'm okay, because of you"

We both sit up, our bodies still close together, his face inches from mine.

"Aph, is there something you want to talk about....."

I whimper, my brain attacking me.

"C'mon, lets get out of here first"

***********

We arrive at his house, the night dark and the stars bright.

He sits me down on the edge of his bed, then goes to the kitchen, coming back with a poopsi in hand.

"Thanks" I say as I shakily take the soda from him.

"Aph, now is there something you want to talk to me about?"

I slowly sip the soda, trying to buy myself time.

Maybe he didn't read that part of the note?

"Why didn't you tell me you had the cancer?"

I bite my lip, the poopsi cooling my body.

"Why would you want to kill yourself?" His voice full of worry.

"All I've been, is a menace to people. With my parents deaths, I've always been depressed, and then my cancer.....I'm too little a matter to be as worthy as you guys make me out to be"

"Aph, how could you say that...."

"I'm just a burden Aaron, I'm just an unnecessary burden to you all...."

"Aph...."

"I'm nothing Aaron, don't you see, I have such little matter in my life that even the world wants me out of it..."

"Aph stop!"

"What....."

"Aph, I may have never told you this but.....and I really should have told you earlier..."

"I...I love you"

"Wha...wha...what?" My cheeks erupt with heat as my heart erupts with happiness.

"And you always mattered in my heart, and everyone's hearts. You meant the world to me, and it would've hurt me even more if you had killed yourself..."

"Aaron.....you don't have to say that"

"But I do, because it's true....."

I drop my head, silently sobbing once again.

He then hooks my chin up, making me look up at him, and with his thumb, he brushes away my tears.

"I do Aphmau Phoenix, I do love you, and you matter more, than anyone else in the world" His hand then moves to my cheek.

I lean into his hand, closing by eyes tight, putting my hand on top of his.

"And you will fight this cancer, because this cancer doesn't know who their up against, they don't know how strong.....beautiful....funny.....nice...........smart......and kind you are..."

"Oh Aaron....I love you too..." My sad tears being overlapped with now happy ones.

He then wraps his arms around me, bringing me into his strong embrace.

He then slides a small piece of metal into my hand.

I play around with it to try and find out what it is, then I know.

"You made me a promise......and you can't break it okay?" His voice slowly breaking as well.

"Heh, you know me Aaron, I'm terrible at keeping my promises..." I say as I play with the locket in my hand.

"Then don't keep your promise, but just keep the world, and everyone, and me...." He whispers into my hair.

I was wrong....

I do matter....

Everyone matters...

God gave us a place on this world.

And we decide what we do with it..

Though life at times may seem like it hates you...

Like it wants to kill you...

There will always be one thing for sure.....

Our hearts, will forever live on, in our loved ones...

I know I took on another serious topic in this book and I just want to say again that all lives matter, all of you matter, you may not see the love those who love you show but it is there.

You are loved, so you must live....

Have an extraordinary day my crystals!