(Y/n) POV:

"Are you sure this is safe?" I asked my manager for the second time as some professionals were strapping me into a harness. Unbeknownst to me, I would be coming in on a harness for my performance, and I'm not the biggest fan of heights, shocker.

"(Y/n)," He sighed as he rolled his eyes, not caring to look up from his phone, "Yes this is safe, they'll triple check your harness every time. That's what I'm paying them to do child." He scoffed as he continued to roll his phone, all of the ropes and latches being checked again by another pair of 'professionals' before we do the last run.

"Alright we're good to go," My stomach dropped as the main man gave a thumbs up to the guy running the controls, "Ready to go?" He looked back at me with an apathetic smile, I just nodded my head slightly; he turned around giving the guy a thumbs up, my body lifting up in the air soon after.

"How is it?!" My hands were trembling really bad, even though this had been the sixth time they had hoisted me into the air, I was still scared shitless.

"Y-Yeah, it's u-uhm good!" I gave the guy a shaky thumbs up, him laughing at my trembling body.

"Okay, let's just take it from the top this time and do a full run through! Other people have to practice too you brat!" My manager yelled at me as he finally looked up from his phone, my music starting to play quickly after, the lights filling the room.

My body slightly fell down, something that hadn't happened in the last few tries, it's just a coincidence... right? As soon as my feet met the ground, I unlatched the hook quickly and walked away from the line. Trying to dance my heart out during the dance break, taking my attention away from the minute flaw in the line from a few seconds prior.

The music cut, the breaths of the backup dancers filling my ears as we came to a stop, "Wonderful wonderful, time to go get changed. Let's go," My manager grabbed my arm, I pass my mic and earpieces to the stage manager as we walked towards the outside of the building, heading towards YG entertainment to get ready for the evening. this was going to be fun.

________

"YG said he didn't care about your relationship with that Johnny boy, but I do. Any wrong move, and you're done for. Do you understand! It's a big risk, and I just don't understand how you think this couldn't hurt your contract with us-" My manager kept going on and on about the articles about Johnny and I that were now circling the web, this was the point where I would tune him out and focus on what was happening currently.

The designer took my era, and tried to create a dress on her own, to best represent the album; to say the least I was in love. It was a black A-line one shoulder dress, with a high slit. The torso part of the dress being boned and see through due to the lace. Multiple flowers scattered across the dress, with a slight hint of sparkle. The fabric inside the dress being my skin tone to try to balance out the color. The heels being black, covered with black glitter; trying to go with the slight tint of glitter in my dress.

My makeup and hair were just now getting touched up. The designer insisting on I have a natural look with the dress, but the makeup artist wanting me to have a bold look. But they had both met in the middle of the road, by me have a nude lip and a fierce eye look. My hair stylists were doing whatever he had wanted, the designer didn't want to pick a fight with him; she had already made that mistake once; and incredibly regretted it.

My long black hair had been curled, the front portion had been gelled down, going behind my ears while the back half were perfectly curled, going past my shoulders. The hairstylist spraying some more hair spray before giving a happy little hum, as he admired his work.

*forgive me for I am not the best at describing things <3*

"Are you guys done yet? We're running late." My manager asked as he tapped his foot impatiently on the floor, his arms crossed across his chest as people quickly did their last touch ups; the hair stylist giving my manager a nasty look.

"Looking gorgeous darling~" My hairstylist gave me a hug before shooing me away with my always seemingly angry manager. My heels clacking against the floor rapidly as I tried to keep up with my managers pace, us quickly walking out of the building, the paparazzi being there to meet us with flashes and clicks.

"(Y/n)! Is it true that you and Johny Suh of NCT are dating?"

"(Y/n), do you care to comment on the rumors going around?"

"Is it true?"

"Is he your date tonight?"

"What can we expect from your MAMA's performance?"

"We won't be answering any questions," My manager slightly pushed me into the car, slamming the door behind me before he walked over to the driver's, just to quickly drive away from the frenzy. "You cause me so much stress!" He groaned as we sped through the traffic, dodging all of the cars that had seemingly got stuck in some sort of traffic.

"How are the greys turning out?" I asked with a slight smirk on my face, his hands gripping the steering wheel harder and pressing his foot more firmly on the gas. This was going to be a very quick ride.

____________

"Are you sure it's safe?" I asked again, the man behind me triple checking the equipment one more time before the stage manager came over and hurried the guy away who never answered my question. My gut was telling me it wasn't a good idea, but before I could protest, I was being lifted up into the air.

"And next up, one of the most anticipated performances of the night. Please welcome Rookie of the year award recipient, Min (Y/n)!" The crowd had roared out, my set had started to glow from the lights; the intro music had started playing.

It's okay, everything is okay, things were triple checked, you'll be fine. I thought to myself before I spoke into my microphone, greeting the crowd and my fellow co-workers (every idol in the industry basically). The spotlight being put on me, as I slowly started to descend from the rafters of the building. The roars of the crowd, shaking the line slightly, making my nerves rile up quickly.

I looked down to see Leedo looking up at me with a slight smile, I smiled back down at him before looking back up to wave and smile at the crowd, blowing some air kisses out. The line dropped me a couple of feet, my smile to turn a panicked expression; I grabbed onto the wire just in case as I continued my descent to the ground, starting to sing my song as my back up dancers started to dance.

What the fuck was taking so long? I swear it didn't take this long before. My hands started to get slightly sweaty as I grew closer to the ground, I took my hand off of the wire to wipe it on my stage uniform.

Then, it snapped.

The harness's hook had snapped...

I was so close to 20 feet off the ground, and now I was traveling at a fast speed towards the hard concrete. Why was everything quiet? Why were memories flashing through my mind? Why was everything I had come to love...

Coming to a quick end?

Vernon.... I know you're going to hurt; I know you're going to blame yourself, but nothing was your fault, you had nothing to do with this. You're going to break down, and lose yourself... But I'll be okay Chwe I promise, don't lose yourself because of a silly mistake someone else made.

Jungkookie.... I love you, and I couldn't ask for a better best friend (along with Vernonie ofc). I know we haven't talked recently, and I know you've been avoiding me since I got together with Johnny. Don't blame yourself, it's okay Jungkookie I understand. We haven't said this to each other, but I do love you, and I will always love you Kookie.

Minghao.... My frog loving boy, my unofficial little brother, I love you even if my my candle will be blown out, and I seemingly disappear. You're going to feel like you've died with me, and you're going to want to quit; but we made a promise. To always be there for one another, even though we maybe a world apart... It's going to be hard, I know, but I'll be there for you always.

The rest of 97 line, I don't know where I would be without you. DK your infectious laughter, and your ability to light up a room even though you are also in a bad mood or tired. Mingyu, you always feeding me even though I was on a diet and playing sport with me when we both need a time away from the spotlight. Jaehyunnie, thank you for pushing me to do my best and taking care of me when I couldn't handle the stress. Bammers..... Yugioh.... Thank you for all the midnight walks, and all nighters for when we would have sleepovers... those were some of my happiest moments in my life.

Seventeen, I don't know where to begin, but thank you. You became my home, and I became yours. We were all seemingly lost in a never-ending void before we found each other. Take care of Dino, yeah? Take care of each other, take care of BTS and 97-line as well. Check up on Johnny please. Be each other's home, like we were. You saved my life.

BTS.... Thank you, thank you for pushing me to do what I loved... thank you for always being there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. I know I wasn't the loveliest person to share a dorm with, especially when it was small to begin with, but we always seemed to have a good time. The time where you guys threw me a surprise birthday party, that's when I knew that we were going to be with each other for life. And it looks like that it was true on my end. I'm sorry. I love you.

Yoongi.....

I know I said I resented you, and everything that you've done in your life... But I couldn't have lied more... I'm incredibly proud of you and your accomplishments. You make me proud to have the title of being Min Yoongi's little sister. We lost connection for 7 years, and during those seven years I couldn't help but watch you from the shadows and cry every night because I had missed you. Mom and Dad are going to blame this on you, and you're going to feel the guilt.... But they always need someone to blame for the misfortune...

Don't feel guilty, it wasn't your fault that I wanted to be an idol, it wasn't your fault that I had fallen 20 some odd feet into hard concrete.... Nothing was your fault, and it will never be... don't listen to them... They love you, just talk to them....

I'll be back.

I promise.

I love you brother, forever and always.

Your little butterfly.

Johnny....

I lo-

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Updated: Jan 3, 2023