On the ocean surface near the shore, Josh Dun, a beautiful young merman and the youngest son of King Bill Dun, appears out of the water. His best friend, Brendon Urie, comes swimming after him.

"Hey Josh! There you are!"

"Just look Brendon!" Josh said. "The sun, the sand, isn't it the most beautiful place you've ever seen?"

"I don't know Josh." Brendon replied. "I'm not sure we ought to be up here."

"Don't be such a guppy!"

"A guppy?! I'm as brave as you are! I'm not afraid of anything!"

"What about sharks?"

Brendon turns his head immediately.

"Where?!"

Josh giggles.

"Oh Brendon, you really are a guppy!"

"I am not!"

"Awww."

He pats him on the head.

"You'll never guess what I found today. Look!"

He lifts up a large silver serving fork from his bag.

"Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?"

"Wow! Cool! What is it?"

"I don't know, but I bet Dallon will! Come on, I'll race you!"

With a splash, Josh hits the water and starts swimming.

"Hey, wait for me!"

Brendon starts swimming after him.

Together, they make there way to a small rock island, where they find their friend Dallon, humming and looking through the wrong end of a telescope. Josh and Brendon surface and swim right up to him.

"Dallon!" Josh shouts.

"Merman off the port bow! Josh, how you doin kid?"

Dallon puts down the telescope and sees Josh up close.

"Whoa! What a swim!"

Josh takes the fork out of his bag.

"Dallon, look what we found!"

"More human stuff eh? Let me see."

Dallon takes the fork out of Josh's hand.

"Can you tell us what it's for?" Brendon asked.

Wow!" This is special. This is very, very unusual."

"What? What is it?" Josh asked.

"It's a dinglehopper!" Dallon said.

"A dinglehopper?"

"Oh these babies are fantabulous, absolutely indispensary. When it comes to dinglehoppers, I'm a regular encyclopoodia!"

(Dallon)
Say that you wanna have a hair do like the folks who live up there do, that'll flap their wings

Well you'll look absolutely dandy, if you use one of these handy little thing ma-jigs

Pick up the dinglehopper, just like so
Twirl it the way I'm twirling now
Give it a little yank
And there ya go!

You're what they call the dog's meow!

Wonderful stuff!
That human stuff!
Can't get enough of human stuff!

And we are the authority
No need for us to bluff!
Because we're great at explaining human stuff!

Dallon pulls out a pipe.

"What's that?" Josh asked.

"A snarfblatt!"

"Wow!"

(Dallon)
When they invented snarfblatts, just by chance
Suddenly life was la di da!
Snarfblatts are what you use to make folks dance!
Give it a blow and then voilà!

Wonderful stuff!
That human stuff!
If you're a buff of human stuff!

It's marvable!
Stupendiful!
Complete A-O-J!

Which sounds absurd
But take my word
That's what the humans say!

Wonderful stuff!
That human stuff!
None of it fluff!
Not human stuff!

And heaven knows
since we're pros
From us, you'll get no guff

And once you've got a who's ma-jig
All you need to bring up to snuff!
With proper dinglehopper groomin
Rest assured, you'll look real human!

(Dallon, Brendon, Josh)
We know chase we know human stuff!

Brendon holds the pipe in his mouth.

"Does this thing really work?"

Dallon takes the pipe from Brendon.

"Sure thing kid, and I ain't just blowin smoke. It makes music the likes of which you never heard."

"Music?" Josh said. "Oh no! The concert! My father's gonna kill me!"

"The concert was today?" Brendon said.

"I completely forgot! Come on Brendon. Thank you Dallon!"

"Anytime sweets. Anytime!"

Josh and Brendon dive underwater. Dallon sits on the rock island and continues to play with the pipe.