My brain throbbed against my skull relentlessly. It seemed to never grow tired of aching and replaying memories I never wanted to remember again.

I swear it would drive me insane.

I sighed and shifted my head over to my other paw. I didn't want to think anymore or talk to anyone about how I felt or tell them how Vitani was doing. I didn't want to hunt to "run the pain away" or sleep to "at least have a few hours of peace." I saw my son in everything and everyone. Hunting and eating reminded me of the blood and sleeping brought back the moment altogether. I was trapped within myself and I didn't know how to escape it or if I ever could.

All I wanted was to be left alone with my torturous thoughts and not be poked and prodded like some kind of creature they had never seen before. I could handle pain, in my own twisted way, but I could manage this.

"Tanabi," my ears barely twitched at the sound of my name, "Tanabi, are you awake?" I inwardly groaned but after a few seconds of contemplating I raised my head and twisted it around to get a better look at Jama.

"Hello, Jama," my voice cracked. I don't remember the last time I spoke. Her dark eyes were filled with sorrow and a weak smile appeared on her face before she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight embrace. I withheld my want to cry as she released me.

"You are very strong, Tanabi," She whispered causing me to scoff and fix my gaze on the pebbles spread against the dirt around my paws while I gained enough strength to sit up.

"No, you are," she assured as she lifted my chin with her paw. I sighed and slowly pulled away from her touch.

"How is Vitani doing?" I asked avoiding the compliment altogether as I finally managed to sit up.

"Not as well as you, I am afraid." This time, she looked at the pebbles that seemed to be interesting to look at in a time where words were hard to be exchanged.

My stomach began to churn at the thought of Vitani being alone in that cave. I had sent everyone away after the second week of our mourning. They all retaliated for a few days but eventually and slowly they all collected their families and made their way towards Pride Rock with Simba and Nala to await the birth of their third and final heir.

I suppressed a growl of jealousy. I knew it was wrong of me to feel that way but my heart was too broken to act rationally.

"When will this end?" I asked with my voice cracking towards the end. Jama raised her dark eyes and looked at me with despair.

"Sometimes it feels like pain will never-"

"Please, I don't need another speech. I've heard enough to last me a lifetime. Jama, please just tell me if this pain will ever end so I can go back to sulking in my own self-hatred and you can get back to your tree. " Jama sighed audibly causing her eyes to shut momentarily before she opened them back up.

"Come with me," she said walking past me before I could reject her.

"What about Vitani?" I asked looking inside the dark cave.

"She is taking a well-deserved nap. We won't be long." I shook my head but followed after her. Maybe a walk with Jama is what I needed to clear my thoughts and maybe begin to feel like myself again.

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We didn't speak at all as we walked aimlessly throughout the grassy plains.

Jama was well ahead of me the entire time while I barely lifted my paws to walk. I felt the darkness that I worked so hard to push away begin to consume me once again. I wanted to just drop to the ground and let The Circle of Life take its course. There was no reason to live now. I caused my Pride to leave, the love of my life couldn't even look at me, our child...

My thoughts paused momentarily when Jama stopped walking abruptly. I picked up my pace and padded over to her side.

"Why have we stopped?" I asked but she didn't reply. Instead, Jama took a few more steps and sat underneath a large marula tree with her back against the trunk of it and closed her eyes. I raised a brow and looked around to see if this was real or a joke of hers.

Did she bring me all the way out here to take a nap?

"Jama, napping will get me nowhere," I whined flicking my tail impatiently.

"I am not napping." She spoke, her eyes never opening.

"I don't have time for this," I scoffed before turning around and heading back to my home. I took a few steps before Jama's voice filled the silent and cloudy morning air.

"I have a mate. His name is Imamu it means "spiritual leader" as that was his place in the Troop of baboons in which he once lived," her dark eyes finally opened and a smile began to form on her lips. I flopped my ears down and walked back towards her and sat underneath the flimsy tree beside her. My fur almost touching hers.

"I was on one of my father's yearly rounds around all of the Pride Lands. We made sure everyone was well and cared for within their homes. We were quite young when we first met. I had barely grown into my tail then," she paused only to giggle at the memory and for the first time in a month I found myself smiling, "he approached me, he was charming and kind and caring. It wasn't long before he and I became great friends. My father was very close with the Troops leader, Imamu's father, so we would always have a reason to see each other on days when my father had nothing to do. When we got older and began to understand the meaning of Upendi, he took me to our favorite climbing tree as young ones, he took my paw and asked me the question I was always terrified of. He and I were married after the approval of our families and a small moment of planning. I had never been so happy in my entire life."

"What happened?"

"We tried to make our own family," she sighed and held her strange paw to her chest before continuing, "my family had always been able to have children as well as his. We come from a healthy background and yet I could not have a single child." Her voice cracked towards the end and tears swelled up in her eyes. I closed my own and inhaled deeply, she understood us better than anyone and I had been so blinded by my own pain and sorrow that I didn't realize she too had gone through what we had.

"We've tried three times and each time, at the same stage of my pregnancy, I lost the infant. Two were very sickly and too weak to even survive within me. But, the last one we tried to have, she was large and beautiful, with her fathers' light fur...but it was not her time to be a part of the grand Circle of Life."

"H-how have you been able to move on?"

"A parent never can truly move on after losing their child before they were even able to raise them. I will never truly forget them or the gnawing pain in the back of my mind of what they could have grown up to be or who they would have taken after. But, The Great Kings show my father and me the events that will happen or have yet to happen and I've seen our child. She is much like me with her father's spirit," Jama's smile returned once more and gently wiped at her face to catch the few tears that had managed to escape her before she turned her head and looked at me.

"I saw your future, Tanabi, it is brighter than you will ever imagine. But, when I first heard news of Vitani's pregnancy, I saw nothing. It was similar to that of my own pregnancies but I hoped and begged The Great Kings to spare him but I suppose it was not enough. Tanabi, I see you and Vitani with a family grander and stronger than any other. You both will be eternally loved by your children and the many generations after that you will be able to meet and love and-"

"Thank you," I whispered causing Jama to nod her head slowly at me with her paw on her chest. I extended my left paw and pulled her into my chest. She sighed and wrapped her arms around me in a tight and very much needed hug.

"I am always here, even when you want my father, I am here," she joked causing me to chuckle before releasing her. "Now come, it is time for you to help your mate." I nodded and, this time, she and I walked alongside one another until we made it to the front of my home.

"You think you can take it from here?" She asked once we were a few feet from the mouth of the cave. I flicked my ears back and felt my blood run cold for a few moments as memories filled my thoughts before lifting my ears back up and nodding towards her. Just as she turned to head home, an unfamiliar flapping sound came from overhead causing us both to twist out head around and aim our attention towards the sky.

"Zazu?" Jama questioned as he fluttered down to the ground. He was breathing heavily as he landed and folded his graying feathers back.

"Good morning, Jama, Tanabi," he finally said after collecting himself.

"Morning, Zazu, what brings you this far from Pride Rock?" She wondered.

"I am proud to announce that Queen Nala is now in labor," he spoke with pure happiness in his voice.

My chest felt tight as I fully absorbed the news. I didn't want to feel jealousy or envy when she had been nothing but kind to me and my Pride these past few months. But, it was hard not to after the events that happened recently.

"That is splendid news," Jama smiled happily before looking up at the bright sky then at me, "I hope to see you and Vitani at Pride Rock when they have their cub."

"We'll try but I can't promise our appearance."

"We will understand if you don't. Goodbye, Tanabi,"

"Goodbye, Jama and thank you for today, I...I really needed it." And with that, Jama began walking towards Pride Rock with Zazu hovering above her.

I watched them go until their bodies were small dots along the savanna. I released a breath I didn't know I was holding and rotated my head towards the dark abyss of our cave. I had been selfish enough and it was the time I faced my fear of seeing my Vitani. She was so hurt and broken down that I feared one look would be enough to send me completely back into the darkness.

I stomped my paw with frustration causing some dirt to rise revealing a single growing sprout. I blinked a few times before grinning towards it. I realized the place I was standing on and finally released the tears I had been avoiding for so long.

"My son," I whispered feeling a gust of wind whip through my body and mane. After a few moments of praying to the Great Kings of the Past to give me strength and guide my son towards the sky and rest within the stars, I stood on all four of my legs and walked towards the cave I had made my home for so long.

"Vitani?" I called out only to hear my own voice echoing back as a response. I walked further into the cave and finally found my mate lying on the ground with her paw tightly wrapped around the prism Muna gave to her own way of attempting to help my broken mate.

"Go away, Tanabi," her voice was hoarse and foreign. It wasn't the usual raspy and comforting voice I fell in love with only a year and a half ago.

"I think I've done that enough." She sniffled before she pulled herself up to her feet. I expected her to crash into my chest and cry into me but, instead, she glared at me and spat out the words,

"You haven't been able to even look at me since I lost my son, what makes me think you want to help me now?" I took a few steps back and really looked at my mate up and down. Was it really her I was looking at?

"I know I haven't been there for you since we lost him but-"

"If you want to leave me, I would understand," my jaw dropped, "I know all you ever wanted were cubs and since I can't give you what you've always wanted you can be with other lionesses and have the family you always wanted."

"H-how could you say that? Are you even listening to yourself? You're my mate, my life!"

"I notice the way the lionesses from Simba and Tojo's Pride look at you. They must all be thrilled that I lost my son-"

"I lost him too, Vitani! Haven't you thought that maybe I've felt guilty about this and that's why I can't be at your side? I can't even ask my family if they had trouble having cubs because I don't have one! M-maybe this is my fault!" My chest was aching and my legs were beginning to grow weak as the tears spewed shamelessly down my cheeks. Vitani's eyes were red-rimmed and glossy with new tears. I exhaled sharply and sat down with my head hanging low.

I heard her paws softly hit the cave ground as she approached me before they faded and her head lightly touched my chin.

"I'm sorry," was all she could whisper before she began to sob once again. I sniffled before lowering my head down to be able to really touch her. My paw quickly wrapped around her as I pulled her in closer to me.

"I'm sorry, too," I whispered back. I needed her and whether she wanted to admit it to herself or not, I knew she needed me too. We were each others missing pieces and without her, I think my whole world would collapse and the darkness would fully entrap me with no chance of my escape.

We then lied ourselves down and helped each other speak of our Matumaini and if we would even try to have another cub when Jama and Rafiki told us it was safe for us to attempt once again. I knew this was hard on her and I would try my hardest to help her through it regardless of my own feelings.

We needed each other now more than ever before.

Then, from the corner of my eye, I noticed a strange creature flying in the air. I turned my head slightly and finally recognized the creature to be M.K.

"Tanabi! Vitani!" He yelled continuously as he approached the cave and finally reached it and carefully landed.

"What is it?" I asked once he was safely on the ground.

"Well..for one...I missed you guys," he blushed crimson before he opened up his huge fleshy wings and flapped his way onto my head. I smiled and released a short purr rather than shaking him off of my head as I usually did.

"We missed you too," I assured him with a weak smile.

"What else did you want to tell us?" Vitani asked with her ears now perked up rather than slumped down as it had been for weeks now.

"Oh, yes." he said as he picked lifted himself back up and softly landed on the ground in front of us. "Jama sent me over to tell you both that Simba and Nala's son has just been born." He smiled faintly.

I felt a wave of emotions hit me then. It was as if I wanted to be angry with the world. Beg and scream and ask why they were so cruel with our first attempt of having a family but were granting Simba and Nala yet another child without them even asking for it. But, then I remembered just how badly their first child's fate ended, like our own. This was their second attempt at raising a son and I should be proud of them for having this opportunity...no matter how badly I wished it was my own son's birth that everyone was celebrating.

"They're allowing all the nearing Prides to come and see him--most are coming in the morning since they're a great distance from here but--they said none of them would matter if you both weren't there beside them."

"Why?" I asked, genuine curiosity getting the best of me.

"Well...you're family." He spoke holding his strange arms close to his chest as he looked up at me with his large orange eyes filled with sorrow.

It was hard for me to reject the kind invitation when he looked so pained with the news. He was one of my closest friends, though I would never admit it out loud, he must know how seeing another lion's cub would affect us.

"M.K., thank you for coming all the way out here. But-"

"Tell them we'll try to make an appearance." My entire face twisted in confusion as I processed what Vitani had just agreed to. I turned my attention towards her and raised a brow, not having the words to question her.

"That's great to hear," my attention went back to M.K. who seemed to be a bit happier now that there was a chance of us all being together again. "We'll be waiting at Pride Rock," he smiled before opening up his large wings and took off into the late afternoon sky.

Once I knew he was out of earshot, I flicked my ears back and gave Vitani a glare.

"What?"

"What do you mean 'what'? You agreed to going without so much as asking for my opinion."

"Tanabi, this hurts me more than you think. I don't want to see a cub that isn't mine. Especially not the cub of Simba and Nala after the history I've had with their other children," her electric blue eyes flicked to her paws which slowly made it's way her now flat stomach before exhaling and elevated her gaze and focused it on my eyes. "We might not be okay today or tomorrow but in time we will be. My heart still aches and my eyes still sting with new tears, but, we can't live in this...darkness forever. If you won't do it for yourself do it for our son, for Matumaini." She grew closer to be and carefully placed her head on my chest and gave a soft purr.

I sighed and gave into her reasoning. I didn't want to fall back into the darkness Vitani and the others helped me escape. I was more than what I was over a year ago today. I was a friend, a leader, a husband, and maybe someday, a father. The lose of my son would always be something that would pain me and though I wanted nothing more than to continue mourning with my mate, it was time we at least tried to move on.

"Alright, but only if you're truly ready." I said after a few moments of silence and some thought to her words, I sighed and gave her head a few lick of encouragement.

"I don't think we'll ever be truly ready, but, we can always try." I smiled and lowered my neck before giving her lips a few licks.

"With you by my side, I'm sure there isn't anything we can't overcome." She laughed softly, genuinely, and craned her neck and gave my lips a quick lick. We then walked out of the cave together, side by side, got a drink of water and finally got something to eat. It had been almost two months since we've had anything to fill ourselves. We feasted on a small antelope, regardless of it being hyena food, and finally began our walk towards Pride Rock.

It wasn't long before we finally reached the strange rock formation Simba's Pride has called home for generations. We paused for a few seconds and gave one another a nuzzle of support before we climbed up and into the den.

The den was filled with lionesses and lions of all different customs and fur-tones. It was as if every lion Pride in all of Africa had gathered together to meet the King and Queen's final heir. My eyes wandered and captured every new face. I noticed, of course, that Tama and Tojo's Pride was there, Malka and his own Pride was there as well, even the silent Pride of Kula and Chumvi's was there to support their in-laws and new son-in-law. I noticed just how similar Kovu was to them with the signature green eyes that seemed to be dominant within the pride.

"Tanabi, Vitani," My ears and eyes followed the distinctive sound of Nala's soft voice until I locked eyes with her. I blinked a few times, before taking quick intake of breath and walked closely by Vitani. Her eyes never left Nala's, her pupils large as she grew nearer until we were finally close enough to see the smallest cub we have ever seen.

I felt my heart turn into goop and my knees felt weak as I finally got to take in the small cub. His pelt was a pale gold, almost yellow, in color, lightly colored paws, a very small and bright red tail tuft barely noticeable at the end of his tail, spots covered his entire newborn body however, a specific marking on his left shoulder was much darker than the rest. It was not in any particular shape, just a a large spot surrounded by smaller ones.

"Oh, Nala, he's...he's beautiful," Vitani gushed before rubbing foreheads with her gently.

"I'm glad you came, the both of you," she whispered as she carried her little on safely by her milk filled teets.

"Even with what is going on in our lives, your family and this is a moment to be celebrated." I assured with the best smile I could manage.

"We appreciate it, truly," Simba spoke as he sat next to his mate with a proud look on his face.

"What have you decided to name him?" Vitani asked as she looked on with love and pain in her eyes.

"Well, we thought of a few, none of them seemed to fit him. What do you suggest?"

"Y-you want us to name him?" Vitani stuttered. Nala and Simba nodded with a bright smile before looking back down onto their son. This was a very emotional moment for them, their first son was tragically lost and I know they must be fearing the worst at the back of their minds. I then made a silent promise to myself and the small cub suckling on his mother, I would always protect him and be their in his time of need.

"Kion," I spoke softly.

"Kion?" Nala asked with a confused expression on her face.

"It's short for Kiongozi."

"Leader," Simba said looking down at his son and smiled, "what a fitting name for the future leader of the Lion Guard."

"Kion, our Kion," Nala spoke before giving her now named son a few licks.

"Tanabi!" My head whipped around at the sound of name before I realized who the booming voice belonged to.

"Mheetu!" I yelled before taking off and quickly jumping up to give my brother a hug. After our embrace I sat and placed my forehead against his, my paw touching his chest. He stood, making himself look taller than I.

"I'm so sorry, brother, God I'm sorry," Mheetu all but sobbed into me.

"It isn't your fault, Vitani and I will be parents yet," I said pulled away from him.

"You could always take one of mine," He joked making me laughed wholeheartedly and shove his chest.

"Tani!" I heard two females yell before a thud echoed throughout the cave. I smiled ear to ear as Vitani's sisters managed to knock her to the ground and nuzzle into her. She groaned in protest but soon gave into their loving touch.

Soon, my Pride and I all reunited with hugs and hopes for our future. We stayed at Pride Rock that night, all the cubs from my Pride having slept right by us the entire night. It felt nice to at least have the illusion of having seven cubs wrapped up against us as if we were their actual parents. But, for that moment, it felt good. It felt good to feel loved by so many different people from different species, customs, colors, and sexuality. My love and I may be missing a child of our own, but we had a family so grand and powerful that it almost helped dull the pain of our loss.

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A.N.

It's finally done my LoveBugs!

This took much longer than I had anticipated but I am very happy with how this chapter came out and I hope you all enjoyed reading it.

The next chapter will be a time jump, around four months or so into the future, just in case you guys begin to read it and feel confused with Cecil and Aslan's age and stuff (:

I love you all very much LoveBugs,

Until my next post,

~Delaney.

P.S. The song I have chosen for this chapter is a song cover from the musical Wicked. Aaron Tveit is also the voice of Tanabi so I thought this would also help with picturing his voice in this chapter the drawing was beautifully created by my best friend Shanni13!