I've never been away from home before, and so far I think I've handled myself just fine. It's been a few days, and I haven't shed any real tears. But when I wake up on New Years Eve, I find that I'm extra emotional throughout the day. My mom video calls me, and I introduce her to the family. She thanks Amelia for taking care of me for the term, and Amelia waves her hand dismissively, her cheeks a bit pink. It's a great conversation until I hang up the call and find myself crying shamelessly at the table in front of everyone.

"Oh, Summer, dear," Amelia says as she wraps her arms around me. "Don't cry, sweetheart. It's going to be all right."

I wipe my tears with the back of my hand and shake my head. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what's come over me. I'm never like this. I'm not a crier at all."

She nods her head, her eyes brimming with sympathy as she places a comforting hand on my shoulder. And it reminds me so much of my own mother that the action triggers more tears. "It's okay. Really. You're a long way from home, and it's a holiday. And you just got off the phone with your mum. These tears are perfectly normal."

"I'm just glad my mom isn't seeing me like this," I reply as more tears fall. God, I'm so embarrassed. "She would lose her mind and practically demand I get on the first flight home. And I obviously don't want to do that. I just... I just miss her."

"I know you do, love," she says softly. "Tell you what? Why don't we all get dressed up and go into town for the holiday? We can show you some sites. Maybe we can get some champagne for tonight to toast the New Year? How does that sound?"

"Isn't it illegal to drink underage here?" I ask, surprised by her offer.

She shrugs her shoulders. "Yes, but you can have a drink with family if you're sixteen or seventeen. No one's going to balk. Except maybe Lily. But we just won't mind her. So what do you say? Does that sound like a good time?"

I nod my head, partly because I don't want to be rude, and partly because I know I can't just wallow all day. Plus, I can't help but feel like a little champagne would do me some good. Help me relax anyway. As sweet as my host family is, I keep finding myself feeling a bit tense around them. Like I'm still trying to make a good impression.

The five of us all get ready for the day and make our way out into town. And even though I'm feeling a bit down being so far away from my family, I can't fight the excitement knowing I'm about to do my first bit of exploring. Most of the sites are closed for the holiday, but we drive by some locations that I know I'm going to want to check out later. The Bodleian Library being one of them. I quickly snap a picture and send it to Baker with a message saying what it is with the heart eyed emoji.

Unfortunately, we don't spend as much time as I'd like to in town, mostly because the only places really open are the pubs, and we have Lily with us. Apparently you can go into pubs if you're over sixteen and accompanied by an adult, but we all agree that we don't want to leave Lily behind. So we run to the store to grab some groceries and champagne before going back to the house. I'm a little disappointed that we didn't see more, but Elsie promises me that there's plenty of time, and she'll take me out herself if she has to, which soothes my exploratory itch for now.

When we get back to the house, we all pitch in cooking dinner. At first Amelia insists that I don't have to help, but after several minutes of telling her that I want to help them, she finally gives in and hands me an apron. We bake cookies for dessert and cook up an absolutely delicious roast dinner. Then we spend the rest of the evening playing family games in the living room, enjoying our homemade chocolate cookies.

Elsie and I team up for a game of trivia, and together we school everyone in the house. Lily pouts for a bit until Oscar suggests we play Charades. Unsurprisingly, Lily is very good at Charades, acting out Gone with the Wind, The Wizard of Oz, and Inception (I don't even know how she managed that one). I'm definitely not as skilled in Charades as I am with trivia, but I do okay, earning a point for Wedding Crashers, but failing to land The Notebook and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. But I'm having so much fun that it doesn't bother me at all that I essentially got my ass handed to me by a twelve year old.

Midnight sneaks up on me, and before I know it, we're all doing the traditional countdown to the New Year. It's weird, not watching the ball drop in New York at 9pm before watching the fireworks in Coeur d'Alene. And even though I miss it, I find that I'm not as sad as I was earlier in the day. Spending time with the Carmichaels isn't quite the same as spending it with my family, but it's still a good time nonetheless. A few seconds after midnight, my phone buzzes in my pocket, and when I pull it out I see a single text from Baker.

Happy New Year, Lumen. Wishing you an incredible future.

A blush warms my cheeks as I smile and slide my phone back in my pocket before celebrating with my host family, drinking a glass of champagne and toasting the New Year together. Once the celebrations are over, Elsie and I sneak off to our room with the bottle of champagne, and we spend the next couple hours talking about our New Years Resolutions, toasting them in the process.

"I think I want to actually travel," she says as she presses the glass to her lips and takes a small sip. "Not in the U.K., but actually visit another country. One that requires me to practice one of the languages I've learned. Maybe France or Spain." Another sip, and I notice her cheeks are starting to turn a light shade of red as the alcohol kicks in. "What about you, Summer?"

I'm already two full glasses in, so I'm feeling a bit too loose. A lazy smile forms on my face as I say, "I want to take back my spot as top of the class." Her eyes widen in surprise. I hiccup a bit before explaining. "Last year, I was the top of my class. Wanted to be valedictorian. Had it all planned out. But then my dad died, and I missed school, and I lose my spot."

Her smile falters a bit. "Oh, Summer, I'm so sorry," she replies.

I take another sip of my glass as I shake my head. "It's okay. I mean, I'm second in my class right now, so it's not too far out of the realm of possibility. I just have to beat Ba—"

"No, I meant about your dad," she says, cutting me off mid-sentence.

My cheeks are burning as I look down at my glass of champagne. "Oh. Yeah. Thanks." I lift it up to my lips, but stop just before taking another sip. I feel like I should say something, but I don't know what. So I sit in an awkward silence of my own making as Elsie finishes her glass before pouring herself another. "I didn't know him that well," I finally say, breaking the silence.

She nods her head, but I don't think she's really listening anymore. Her eyes are glazed over from the multiple glasses she's had tonight, and it looks like she's about ready to pass out. She gives me an apologetic smile. "This stuff is really quite good," she says, gesturing toward the already half-empty glass in her hand. "My mum hardly ever lets me drink. She'd probably kill me if she knew I stole the bottle after she went to sleep."

"Isn't she going to find out?" I ask nervously, but she shrugs her shoulders.

"Dunno. Maybe." A yawn escapes her throat as she leans back in her pillow. "I think I'm going to go to sleep. Happy New Year, Summer. I'm glad you're here."

I give her a soft smile, feeling the effects of the alcohol a bit myself. "Happy New Year, El. I'm happy to be here." She nods her head and closes her eyes, drifting off into an easy sleep while I stare at the wall behind her, losing myself in thought.

My mind is racing, and yet it feels a bit slow at the same time. Fogginess caused by the drink. I set my glass down on my nightstand and reach for my laptop. Then I open it and pull open my email before drafting a message to Baker.

Baker,

You know, it's funny how people always say they're sorry about my dad. Like, they don't even know him. They don't know if they should be sorry. I don't even know if I should be sorry. And when you think about it, it's a weird thing to say in general. The whole 'I'm sorry for your loss' thing. If he was a convicted rapist, would you be sorry? Or a mass murder, how about then? What if he abandoned his only daughter? What is the limit? Where do you draw the line between 'I'm sorry for your loss' and 'good riddance'?

I pause for a second, wondering what else I should say. If I should say anything at all. Then I think about the text he sent me earlier wishing me a Happy New Year before the day has even ended in Coeur d'Alene. How warm his words made me feel.

Happy New Year, Baker. My New Years Resolution is to take my spot back at the top of the class. Enjoy it while you can. You won't have it much longer.

X Summer

I press send and smile to myself, feeling quite proud of my playful dig. Then I curl up in bed, closing my eyes to stop the gentle spinning that has just begun, and fall asleep. When I wake up the next morning, I find Elsie sitting at her desk, looking a bit pale but overall okay. I have a terrible headache, but I'm not nearly as hungover as I should be.

She sees me a minute later and smiles. "Oh hey," she says in greeting, and I lift my hand up in a lazy wave. "I woke up a bit ago and tossed the bottle in the bin. Hopefully mum doesn't notice it's gone."

I nod my head, and then I immediately regret it. "You look like you feel much better than I do," I mutter.

She giggles. "I woke up in the middle of the night and threw up. So I think I got most of it out of my stomach. But you were out cold. You actually fell asleep with your laptop on your chest."

My laptop? My laptop! Oh no, Baker! I sit up in bed so quickly, ignoring the pain in my head as I open my laptop again and open my email, praying I didn't actually send the message from last night. But when I see a response at the top of my inbox, I cringe and sit back in bed. What a start to the year. First five minutes and I'm already humiliated.

"What is it?" Elsie asks, concerned. "Is everything okay back home?"

I nod my head. "Yeah. It's not that. I just...." Well, I might as well tell her now. "There's this guy back at home. A friend. And I kind of sent him an email last night after you fell asleep."

Her eyes widen. "Oh no! A drunk email? That's almost worse than a drunk text!"

"Yeah, and he replied," I say as I stare at the unread message. "And I'm too nervous to open it." I barely remember what I sent last night, so I open my Sent Mail folder and read the most recent message. The blood drains from my face as I read the nonsense I wrote last night, but it all comes flooding back in full force when I see that I signed the email with a kiss. A kiss! "Oh my God," I say, because I don't even know how to recover from this.

"Bad?" El asks, her voice dripping with sympathy.

I bury my face in my hands. "I don't know. I haven't read his response yet. But I just reread what I sent him." I look up at her. "Think your parents will just let me move in permanently?"

She laughs. "Oh, come on, Summer. It couldn't have been that bad!"

"I signed the message with a kiss, El!" What the hell was I thinking? Well, obviously I wasn't thinking. I was drunk.

"A kiss, huh?" she replies, her voice light with teasing. "Do you like this guy or something?"

Do I? "No," I say, a mixture of uncertain and defensive. Elsie smiles. "No, it's not like that. This kid... he's like... a rival. He stole my place at the top of the class."

"Ooh, an enemies to lovers story," she says with a giggle, and I throw a pillow at her. She catches it and holds it to her chest, smiling from ear to ear. "It's probably not that big a deal, Summer. He probably didn't even notice the kiss. Just open his message and read what it says."

I can't tell if she wants me to open it because she's trying to help me feel better, or if she wants to know the full scoop here. Either way, I know she's right. Nervously, I go back to my inbox and double click on his response.

Summer,

I get the sense that you're a wee bit tipsy tonight. Am I right, or am I right? (Spoiler alert: I'm right.)

But I never really considered that before. You're right though. It is weird how we give condolences before we even know if the person really deserves to be missed. Which leads me to my next question, and I hope it's okay to ask. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. But do you miss your dad?

Also, if you want the top of the class back then come and get it. But my New Years Resolution is not to make it easy on you. Just so you know.

I miss you. Nice to know you're having fun in England. Just don't have too much fun out there, ya lush.

XX Baker

"Well?" Elsie asks as I stare at my computer screen, feeling the corners of my lips turning up in the usual smile I get whenever I read one of Baker's emails. "What did he say?"

"Um," I say slowly, reading it through a second time in order to come up with a response to her question. "Not much, really. He could tell I was drunk for sure. Says he misses me. And sent me two x's in closing."

She squeals and claps her hands. "Oh, I am loving this!"

I wrinkle my nose and shake my head. "What? It wasn't really a big deal. Honestly, the two x's was probably more in jest than anything. Baker is constantly teasing me."

"Which means he likes you, right?" she asks, and I have to do everything I can to fight the blush trying to take over my cheeks.

"No, he's just trying to throw me off my game," I reply, reading the part about his New Years Resolution again. "That's his whole thing. He tries to be flirty with me to throw me off guard. Like I said, he stole the top spot in the class. He's my rival. So he's just trying to get in my head."

She smirks, like she knows more about it than I do. "I don't know," she says in a singsong voice that reminds me so much of Beth it hurts. "I think you just don't want to admit it."

I don't want to admit it. Because if Baker likes me... really likes me... then I don't know what to make of that. Our friendship is so strange, and we already have such a wild history. Yes, he saved me from being sexually assaulted. Yes, he's my academic rival. And yes, he's quickly become one of my best friends. But there's more. Something I don't think I'm ready to admit to anyone yet. Not even to myself.

But he makes me feel like I'm more than what people see at school. More than what I show everyone else. He's forced his way into my life. Knocked down my walls one brick at a time. I don't know how he did it. I don't even know how to feel about it. And I don't even know if he knows what he's done. If he's trying to break me down, or if it all is one big mind game. I'm not sure I'm ready to know the answer yet.

"Girls," Amelia calls from just outside the room, and we both look toward the door. "Girls, are you awake? Oscar has made some eggs and toast for breakfast if you're hungry."

Elsie turns back to look at me. "Come on, let's go get some breakfast. You could probably use the bread in your stomach anyway to soak up some of the drink from last night. I know I could."

I nod my head and set my laptop down on the bed before getting up and heading out the door with Elsie for breakfast. And for the rest of the day I try to put the email from Baker out of my mind. But when I go to bed that night, I toss and turn, thinking about it and him and what all these feelings are welling up inside me. And that question from earlier replays in my mind again and again.

Do you like this guy?

And I know if the question was on a test, I would absolutely fail. Because I just don't know the answer.

Author's Note:
I really liked this chapter. I got to write a bit more of Elsie, who is a character I'm quickly growing to love. I hope you guys are liking her too. I'm planning on writing another 4-5 chapters in the UK. Can't wait to share Summer's journey with all of you!

Let me know your thoughts on this chapter, and I'll be back with the next one as soon as possible. Stay safe and healthy until then, my dears!
XOXO,
~Aly