The rest of the weekend rolls by with no responses from Baker. Ian keeps telling me that he's sick, but I have this strange feeling in the pit of my stomach that something is actually wrong. Obviously I don't tell Ian about this, because he's a kid. And my parents are too caught up in Auggie to talk to them. Beth says everything is probably okay. That he's probably just keeping his distance since he's not feeling well, and he doesn't want to interrupt family time by responding. But no matter how hard I try, I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong.

I get to school on Monday fully prepared for our team project on constitutional monarchies. I've got my notecards with the important points ready. The slides are good to go. And I've practically memorized my presentation by heart. Baker and I are going to kill this project. I keep my eyes open for him all day, hoping I'll be able to catch up with him and see for myself that he's okay. But when I don't spot him, I figure I'll see him in Government class. Except when I get to class ready to do our project together, I quickly discover that he's not here.

I start to break out in a nervous sweat as I see mine and Baker's names are the third project listed to go for today. This has never happened to me before. Am I supposed to do the project without him since he's not here? Do I take the grade hit? God, I feel sick to my stomach. Quickly and without drawing attention from the teacher, I pull my phone out of my pocket and send a message to Baker asking where he is. Then I wait for the buzz in my pocket signaling a response. But it doesn't come.

Becca and Erin go first. Their project is about totalitarianism. I should be taking notes, but I can't seem to focus. Where the hell is my boyfriend? Why is he not answering my calls or texts? The second project presents, and I'm literally starting to shake. Tears are burning my eyes as I try to come up with a solution. Meanwhile, my eyes are checking the clock constantly, hoping and praying that the first two projects will take up all the time.

No such luck. The second project ends, and my teacher, after writing some notes in his clipboard, looks up and stares directly at me. "Summer?" he asks, and oh my God, I'm going to cry right here in front of everyone.

"Y-Yes, sir?" I ask, hating how nervous I suddenly sound.

"No partner today?" he asks, his eyes wide as he searches the room for Baker. I shake my head, and his lips curve down in a frown. "Hmm. Well, I suppose we can push the presentation back a day. Frances and Kat, are you ready to go?"

The next project goes up to the front of the class and begins their presentation while I let out a breath of relief. Postponed. Not ideal, but better than doing the project without my partner. I watch the rest of the day's presentations as the knot gets tighter in my stomach. We may be off the hook for the project for now, but that doesn't answer my question about where the hell my boyfriend is.

Government class ends with six presentations finished. All very good, although none quite as good as mine and Baker's are going to be. If he ever shows up. My heart is racing as I go from class to class for the rest of the day. No matter what happens, I tell myself, I will talk to Baker today. He can't ignore me forever. I won't allow it. So when the last bell rings, I collect my things from my locker and run outside, hoping to get to my car before the mad dash out of the parking lot begins.

But when I get to my car, I freeze in place. Because there he is. Leaning against my hood, his arms folded across his chest as his hoodie covers his face. A wave of relief crashes through me. He's okay. Whatever else happens, at least I know that much. I approach the car, my lips pulling up into a tight smile as his eyes fall on me.

"Hey stranger," I say a moment later. "You feeling better? Your brother said you've been sick, so I wanted to—"

"Let's go for a walk," he interrupts, and the knot in my stomach tightens again. My smile falters as I nod my head, leaving my car behind as we walk together behind the school toward the bleachers. It's getting cooler outside. Darker. We walk underneath the bleachers, and now I can hardly see his face as I stare up at him with wide eyes.

"Is... is everything okay?" I ask him, trying to swallow back my nerves. "I mean, I know you've been sick and everything. And you haven't been answering my texts or calls."

"Yeah," he replies, his voice more monotonous than I've ever heard it. Like he's lost a chunk of his soul in the few days since we've been apart. "I just... I spent the weekend thinking about everything. About us." I nod my head, even though I don't know what the hell he's talking about. "It's not working, Summer."

"What's not working?" I ask, confused.

He sucks in a breath and closes his eyes. "We aren't working. You and I. Us. Together. This relationship."

"Wh-what do you mean?" I ask, suddenly feeling like all the air is being sucked out of my lungs. "We're working. This is working just fine."

"No," he replies firmly, shaking his head. "It's all wrong. I need to focus on my studies. On getting into Stanford. And I can't have any more distractions." My heart has pretty much stopped beating as he sighs and says, "Are you're a distraction. So... this isn't working."

This is a nightmare. A horrible, ugly nightmare. Any moment I'm going to wake up in my bed, shaking off the cold sweats. "Yes it is," I say stupidly, because I don't know what else to say. "Baker... yes it is. I don't unders—"

"I'm breaking up with you," he says, cutting me off, and I fall totally silent as my jaw falls open in surprise. His words wound me. Cut me. Leave a gash so deep I'm afraid I might bleed out under these bleachers.

"No you're not," I reply as I shake my head. He's joking. He has to be. It doesn't make any sense otherwise. But he doesn't say anything. Doesn't crack a smile. Nothing. "Baker, you can't be serious."

He closes his eyes again and sighs. "Summer...."

"No," I say, my voice quivering ever so slightly as I fight back the tears. "I won't let you do this. I won't—"

"It was never real," he interrupts, half yelling the words so that they echo off the metal bleachers. "God, don't you see it? It was all just... just a way to keep you distracted. If I made you fall for me, then you'd be less likely to take the top spot. But now this whole thing is becoming a distraction for me, and I can't do it anymore. So it needs to—"

"Bullshit," I snap, cutting him off. His breath hitches as he averts his eyes. "That's such bullshit, Baker. That's not what this was, and you know it."

He nods his head. "It might not have been what it was for you," he says, and I scoff. "But that's what it's always been for me."

Fury rises in me, and it feels like I'm about to throw up. "You're a liar," I growl, and he winces. And I mean it. He is a liar. But I don't know what he's lying about. He said that's not what this relationship was about. He promised me it was real. So either he's lying about that, or he's lying about this. Either way, he's killing me here.

"I'm... I'm sorry," he whispers, and to his credit, he does sound ashamed. My heart cracks a little as my bottom lip quivers. "I took it too far. I should've stopped this a long time ago. Before the holiday."

"No," I say shakily, now less certain than I was a few seconds ago that he's lying to me. I think back to all the times I told Beth about how I feared he was doing exactly this. How scared I was that he was tricking me into falling in love with him so I would be too distracted to try and take my spot at the top of the class back.

A buzzing sound interrupts this awful moment, and Baker jumps, startled as he pulls his phone out of my hoodie pocket. His lips curve into a deeper frown as he runs his fingers through his hair and says, "I have to go."

I nod my head. "Okay. I'll... um... talk to you l—"

"No," he snaps, interrupting me again. "No more calls. No more texts. It's over, Summer. And I'm sorry, but I have to get home." He slides his phone back in his pocket, leaving his hands hidden as he nods his head in my direction. "I'll see you in class on Wednesday. You know, for our project."

I'm speechless. Dumbfounded. At a total loss of what this all means. What it's all meant. "Okay," I whisper, and then I watch as he turns and walks away, leaving me alone under the bleachers to process whatever the hell just happened.

Baker doesn't want me. It was all a trick. Beth was wrong. Elsie was wrong. I was wrong. About all of it. Even about my own feelings. Because I thought I was in love with him. I thought he was in love with me. But no. None of it was true. And God, how is this more painful than that night at the party with Ollie? That night. Baker saved me. Protected me. He's always protected me. So this... none of this makes sense.

I close my eyes and try to think of what triggered this. Thanksgiving, maybe? Something I said or did? I don't know. We seemed to be having a great time. Everything seemed okay. Dinner was amazing. No one said anything wrong to him. We just talked about the baby. Ian was fine. And Baker was... well, he was off all day. Like something was wrong. Did I force him to come to Thanksgiving at my house? I did, didn't I? I forced him. He didn't want to, but I insisted. Why did I push?

My mind is still spinning a short while later as I drive myself home. When I walk inside my house, I find Ian resting his head on my mom's shoulder as she reads a book to Auggie, who is lying on her legs sleeping. And I'm confused that Ian is even here. If it was all fake the whole time, then why did Baker allow his brother to get so attached? And is Ian going to stop coming around now that Baker and I are... are....

"Hi, honey," my mom says when she sees me, a tired smile stretching across her face. "How was your day?"

I stare at her, blinking in confusion for a few moments before I wordlessly turn around and walk up the stairs to my bedroom. Answering her isn't an option at the moment, because if I try to talk at all then I'll break. When I get to my bedroom, I close my door and walk over to my desk, pulling out my homework so I can start getting to work. There's so much homework for me to catch up on. Not that I've fallen behind. Not really. But I'm usually more put together than this. I've just let too many distractions get in my way.

Distractions. I swallow hard as I open my calculus textbook and try to do my homework for the night. It takes me a lot longer than it should, but that's only because I keep making mistakes and having to erase my progress. Guess that was the point. What he was trying to do this whole time. Trick me into making mistakes. Into fucking up my life. I feel so numb. And yet... there's a pain in me. Deep within my soul. And I know I'm falling apart.

But no. I won't allow it. I won't allow myself to break like this. I steel myself as I finish my math homework and focus on my other classes. Because I have to shake this off. If sabotaging me was his end game this whole time, then I have to force myself to get it together. Because I'll be damned now if he keeps the top spot. If he beats me. My pain turns to a promise. A promise that, as God as my witness, I will be giving my valedictorian speech at graduation in June. Nothing is going to stop me. Not the death of my father. Not my new little brother, who I hear crying downstairs in the living room. And certainly not Baker fucking Scott.

SoI bury the pain and the hurt I'm feeling deep down. Way down. I burn it andlock the ashes in a box before tossing it into the sea. He thinks he can playme? He's wrong. So wrong. And as hard as it is for me to keep it together rightnow, I decide to use my fury as fuel for my own personal fire. If this is thegame he wants to play, well... I can play it too. And I don't have to play dirtyto win. I just have to keep my head down and stay focus. And before long it'llbe like this whole thing never happened at all. Just a blip in my own personaljourney. And when I'm standing at the podium on graduation day, giving the speechthat I wrote in my freshman year, I'll hardly remember the name of the boy whotried to take it all away.

Author's Note:
Poor Summer! Do you believe what Baker said is true? Was he really playing her this whole time? Let me know your thoughts and theories in the comments! I'll be posting a new chapter as soon as I can write it. Stay safe and healthy until then, my dears!
XOXO,
~Aly